Hey! Back with another fic. This time, though, it is complete and utter crack. Be warned.

Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own Leverage or Oregon Trail.

Where To Go
One-Shot

The kitchen of Hardison's apartment was quiet as they all sat around the table, minds working through towns and cities they could relocate to now that they had to leave LA.

Sophie perked up, smiling. "What about-"

"We're not going to Paris, Sophie. You have enough shoes."

Sophie deflated, glaring at Nate as he raised his glass of scotch to her.

"Nashville," Eliot said with a nod.

"No!" Parker shook her head fast covering her ears with her hands. "No more horses!"

"Seattle?" Nate suggested.

Sophie's nose wrinkled. "Too much rain."

"London!" Parker smiled. "The accents."

"Again with the rain," Sophie almost groaned.

"Think you'll be dealing with a Southern drawl, Parker," Eliot said, accent thickening just so.

"What about Portland?"

Nate looked up from his drink. "Maine or Oregon?"

"Oregon," Hardison replied.

"No!" Parker cried, "We'll die before we get there!"

Everyone blinked.

"…What?" Hardison asked.

"Oregon Trail." Parker scowled as Hardison took on a scandalized look. "You never make it to Oregon."

Eliot nodded. "You get dysentery and die." He shrugged. "Then you go back to math class."

Hardison sputtered.

Sophie blinked again.

Nate took another drink.

The End

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