DEDICATION: This little story-ish thing is dedicated to the wonderful SyuKunI XD who requested a TezukaFuji triangle fighting over Tezuka! Originally, I'd planned for it to be Fuji vs Atobe for Tezuka. But since that seems to be done a lot, I decided .. Fuji vs YUKIMURA (?!). Mostly cause for some reason I can totally see Atobe and Fuji being like .. the bestest of friends and .. I love Yukimura, (: But don't worry, there's still Atobe in this story! (Atobe: Be awed by the prowess of ORE-SAMA!) Cause .. I just love Atobe, too. ANYWAYS. Hope you enjoy it, SyuKunI XD and all the other readers! (:
I also wasn't planning on writing this today, but I went to Abercrombie yesterday morning and spent waaaaaaaay too much money there so now I am very, very, very happy and felt like writing. Yay! (The line-up to pay took like fourty-five minutes, by the way).
DISCLAIMER: If I owned Prince of Tennis, Echizen would fall down a hole .. and quite possibly never come back? :D.
REACH
Dreaming of you won't help me to do, all that you dreamt I could;
Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again - Phantom of the Opera
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Fuji had always known that Tezuka loved him. The usually stoic captain's soft glances, lingering touches, and a dedication to Fuji that rivalled Tezuka's dedication to tennis had always told Fuji that much. The tensai had always humoured him, flirting back and allowing the soft tugs of Tezuka's strong hands on his sleeves.
Tezuka had always been Fuji's object of affection, mostly because Fuji had always thought there was no way Tezuka would truly love him back.
When Tezuka had spoken those three words that were so intrinsically haunting, Fuji had run. Their little game, which had always been so lighthearted, had all of a sudden become so much deeper because of those three words. Fuji ran, because staying would have meant he would have to play their game seriously.
And that thought terrified him more than any other. It was like tennis, he mused. When you didn't play seriously, it wouldn't hurt, even if you lost. But if you played seriously in any game, including the game of love, you put everything you had into it. And should you lose, everything that was familiar to you would be gone.
For the rest of the year, Fuji had kept Tezuka at arm's length, pushing his affections away.
Come graduation, he had bid Tezuka a final goodbye with false cheer. The captain had turned, eyes boring into Fuji's now wide open ones. "Do you know what is underneath," he had said, voice as deep as the sky, "If you would only be willing to tear away the shields that you have built up, Fuji?"
Fuji had trembled, his feelings coming unbidden to his heart as he tried to pull himself away from Tezuka's hypnotic eyes. "I will wait, Fuji."
And Fuji had believed him. That was why, four years later, when he finally drew up the courage to reach for Tezuka, it was all the more horrifying when he found Tezuka, only to see Yukimura's thin arms wrapped around the ex-captain's waist.
Tezuka's eyes narrowed at him as he sent Yukimura home, promising to see him tomorrow. Fuji watched as his previous captain glared almost angrily (and rightfully so) at him.
"It has been four years, Syuusuke."
The moment he heard his given name come from Tezuka's lips, Fuji knew he had already lost all of Tezuka's respect.
--
Tezuka handed Fuji the cup with icy politeness, and the tensai with-held the urge to shudder and throw himself at the tall youth. "Tezu-" Fuji grimaced as his breath hitched, "-ka." Never before had it been awkward before the two of them. Their language had always been silent, and Fuji had always known what Tezuka was hiding in those eyes of his.
Truth be told, Tezuka had always been considerably more expressive than Fuji, because despite the stoic face and few words, he had always said exactly what he'd meant.
Fuji had always hidden between and underneath layers of personalities of people who were never him. He had dawdled in pretty poetic speech, adorned by meaningless flowery words that held nothing but empty promises and meanings behind them.
"I loved you," Tezuka stated bluntly, watching Fuji with those eyes. Suddenly, the prodigy couldn't breathe and his heart clenched. He said nothing. Tezuka sighed, "Do you still play tennis, Syuusuke?" Fuji hated the sound of his first name coming from Tezuka's mouth. It was like Tezuka did not trust him. He probably didn't.
He chuckled humourlessly, "Even after all these years, the only way we know how to reach each other is still through tennis, ne?"
Tezuka's eyes glared indifferently at him, "We always knew how to reach each other. You ran away." Tezuka never had been one for sugarcoating things. Fuji gulped, trying to push at the lump forming in his throat as those intense brown eyes stared into his own frail ones, "But," Tezuka said with an air of finality as he stood up, "There is no point dwelling in subjects of the past. One cannot reach for something that has already slipped out of one's reach."
--
"Fujiko!" Eiji cried as he opened the door to Fuji's apartment with the spare key Fuji had entrusted to himself and Oishi. Tugging at his boyfriend's hand, Eiji surveyed the mess that was Fuji's apartment. Despite the usual artistic havoc mess within the small enclosure, Fuji's house was now in complete disarray, lacking the usual messy organization. There was shattered glass on the floor, evidence that Fuji had perhaps hurled the cup.
"Fuji?" called Oishi softly behind him, Eiji turned to see the concerned expression written on Oishi's face. Tugging his arm, Eiji pulled Oishi towards Fuji's bedroom, freezing when he caught sight of his best friend.
Fuji, strong, unbreakable Fuji was curled up in his bed, the covers wrapped almost violently about him, as if the small prodigy wanted them to strangle the life out of him. Fuji was shuddering quietly and his eyes were squeezed shut, like he was trying to force the tears that were flowing out back into his eyes.
If there was one thing Eiji knew, it was that Fuji never cried. Fuji had smield sadly when Yuuta had left for St. Rudolph's, yes, and Fuji had been visibly about his encounted with Tezuka at graduation, but Fuji never cried. Fuji would never reveal vulnerability, even to his best friend.
"Fuji!" Eiji cried, letting go of his boyfriend's hand to rush to his best friend, arms wrapping themselves protectively around the tensai, trying to shield his friend from the pains of the world.
Eiji's heart beat wildly in panic as Fuji crumpled against his chest and looked up with wide eyes at Oishi, who immediately rushed over to sit on Fuji's bed, laying an awkward hand on the tensai's back and stroking soothingly up and down.
Fuji wailed, and for the very first time, Eiji was terrified.
--
"You did not tell me you were dating Yukimura." Oishi commentedly vaguely, sipping at the cup of tea Tezuka had provided him.
A raised eyebrow from his friend, "And since when do I have to inform you of every detail of my life, Oishi?"
The cup in his hand was set down with a little more force than necessary as Oishi glared at Tezuka, "When you know that it might just affect everything!" Standing up harshly, Oishi glared down at his ex-captain. Silence took hold of a room for a few minutes, before Tezuka sighed and leant back in his couch.
"And how was I to know that he would visit today, of all days?"
"You promised him you'd wait, Tezuka."
"He wasn't coming back as far as I knew, Oishi!" Brown eyes flared and Tezuka stood up, now the one looking down at Oishi with furious eyes, "He ran away from me, the first time! What was I supposed to do, wait around for someone who, as far as I knew, was never going to come back?"
"You promised him. And he did come back, didn't he, Tezuka? That's the reality you'll have to deal with." Serious eyes bored into indifferent ones, "He was crying, you know. Our Fuji Syuusuke, was crying. He called me and Eiji and we went over, and he was broken. Eiji was terrified and when we went back to our apartment he told me he was moving over to Fuji's for a few days. Atobe's staying over at Fuji's for a while, too. They were afraid Fuji might hurt himself."
"Then I guess he has all the people that he needs in his life." commented Tezuka, staring at Oishi calmly.
The ex-vice-captain watched Tezuka's expressions, before his face distorted into a disappointed look, "You know, Tezuka, back at Seigaku, I used to have this tennis captain, he was also my best friend. He was stoic, just like you, but he would never give up, and he was never as cold as you are now." A slight pause, "But I wonder, Tezuka, are you even a fraction of the person you used to be, without Fuji by your side? Can you exist or even breathe properly without Fuji?"
Tezuka's breath caught, then, and he wondered why it was suddenly getting harder and harder to breathe.
--
It was very, very, very rare that Tezuka called him out for meetings, Inui thought.
The chance that Tezuka wanted something from him was exactly 98.6%. "Aa... Inui." Inui lifted his eyes from his data book, watching his ex-captain curiously, "What is the percentage of my existence as 'Tezuka' without Fuji?"
Ah, so that was it, then.
Inui closed his data book and took of his glasses, wiping them with his t-shirt, and clearing his throat before donning his glasses once more and looking at Tezuka seriosuly, "I cannot answer that. I know what you want to hear, buchou, that you are Tezuka even without Fuji with you? But I refuse to do so; the human emotions are a realm in which data cannot be precisely calcula-"
"Tell me, damn it! Tell me that I don't need him!" Tezuka reached angrily across the desk, grabbing Inui by the collar and yanking the data collector up off the chair.
Inui simply stared at his captain before clearing his throat once more, "You know, Tezuka, it is odd. You have grown taller and no doubt gotten stronger since our Seigaku days."
Inui's eyes narrowed cruelly, "But I have never seen you so needy before ever in your life, needing someone to reassure you that you don't need Fuji in your life. I think you know very well what the answer to your own question is, if I had known what a coward you are now, I would have quit the tennis club the moment you were declared captain."
"Shut up."
Tezuka released Inui and turned to the corner, hand finding its place on the bridge of Tezuka's nose, "You are a coward and a selfish fool if you are trying to hurt Fuji simply because of the hurt you received when he denied you four years ago. Fuji was afraid, his reasons were very different from yours. You cannot hear what you want Fuji to say if you are doing your very best not to listen to him."
"I said shut up."
"He is a genius, yes, but inside Fuji is such a frail, frail child who needs the guidance he never got as a young child because of his genius. He can learn any lesson except for the labyrinth that is his own heart and mind. That is the data you do not want, but need to hear."
--
Inui had finally left, and Tezuka had been looking forward to a nice hot shower when his computer beeped to life. He quickly looked at the one instead message that had come, grimmacing at it as he set his fingers to the keyboard.
'the-great-ore-sama!' says; The great Ore-sama will not forgive you if you hurt Syuusuke.
'K' says; Since when were you and Fuji on a first name basis?
'the-great-ore-sama!' says; Ever since he came running to me about how he loved you.
'K' says; Damn you.
--
He really hadn't expected to find Fuji at that cafe they had spent so many afternoons at in their Seigaku days, but he had almost choked in surprise as he almost sat on Fuji, who was seated in what had been their favourite booth. Fuji had always, and was still, fairly small, so when Tezuka let his guard slip for a moment, he had taken one glance at the booth from a distance and walked towards it, surveying the cafe and not noticing that the small man had been hidden by the large backseat until he almost sat on him.
"Syuusuke," Tezuka greeted him calmly, nodding detachedly at the prodigy.
He watched as Fuji visibly gulped, offering Tezuka a somewhat weak half-smile. "Uh... how are you and... Yukimura?" The last name came out as a raspy whisper and Tezuka watched as Fujik blinked furiously and cleared his throat. He felt his heart squeeze at the sight of Fuji trying so hard to not break down right then and there.
Tezuka almost-reach out with his hands to stroke the tensai's beautiful hair, prepared to kneel and apologize a thousand times over to Fuji, but he was cut short by a-, "Get away from Fujiko, bastard!" Tezuka jumped backwards at the yelp and was suddenly greeted to the sight of a very angry looking Kikumaru.
Tezuka stared, mask back in place, "Kikumaru."
He silently winced as Eiji shoved his chest, sending him crashing backwards against the table and scorching his hand in Fuji's coffee. "Eiji!" He heard Fuji and Oishi's alarmed shouts a second before he felt a kick to his left shin, "Damn it, stay away from Fujiko!" Tezuka caught a glimpse of Eiji's tear stained face, and realized just how deeply the acrobatic player cared for his friend, before he felt his legs give out under him and he crashed onto Fuji. They were a mess of limbs and hair and face and scents before Kikumaru's hands found the back of his shirt, tearing him off Fuji and throwing him against a different table.
Tezuka barely took notice of the shocked waitresses and the few other customers as Oishi rushed towards his boyfriend with a worried, "Eiji, that's enough!" and Fuji's own screech of, "You'll hurt him, Eiji!" All he could focus on was Oishi's panicked expression and Fuji's worry and Eiji's preparedness to defend his friend.
Tezuka envied the way Eiji could so easily reach out to the people he cared for.
--
Tezuka grimaced as he finally arrived at the door of his apartment.
After Eiji had punched him a few more times on the arms (not being able to easily reach up to Tezuka's face), Fuji and Oishi had hurriedly ushered the cat-like boy away, sparing Tezuka a few worried glances. Eiji, in his frenzied state, had managed to trip over a chair in an attempt to get to Tezuka, giving himself a few bold bruises that laced up his arm and knee.
Tezuka had seen the way Fuji had looked at him, worrying and wondering whether he should check on Tezuka, but said youth had turned away ashamedly, and Fuji had walked off to help tend to Eiji's injuries.
Now, he was alone in his apartment, doing his best not to grimace as he dabbed at his scorched hand and the multiple bruises now dotting his body. The pain was nothing he couldn't handle, but it would have been nice to have at least one person he could call to help him.
And the lingering scent of Fuji on his shirt was not helping any.
--
"You do know you're only digging yourself in deeper if you let this drag on, right?"
Tezuka turned his head warily to his boyfriend, he had been hoping that this was the one person he could be in the company of who would not remind him of Fuji. "How did you find out about that."
Yukimura turned to Tezuka, gracing Tezuka with his depthless eyes, "I am not the called the Child of God only for my tennis abilities," teased Yukimura, toying with a strand on Tezuka's dark brown hair and pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. Yukimura sighed, "It seems Atobe's care of Fuji runs deeper than just a temporary infatuation, like so many of his other 'best friends'. It's hard to believe, Atobe being able to love someone, hm?" There had always been something entrancing about Yukimura's voice, deep and intricate and delicate. So like Fuji's voice. "Anyhow, he must care of Fuji a lot, for the great 'Ore-sama' to come visit someone unworthy of his attention like me to ask a favour of. He asked me to knock some sense into you and make you go back to Fuji."
Yukimura laughed, a silvery, tinkling sound.
"Are you upset?" questioned Tezuka gravely.
His boyfriend laughed again, "Ah... silly Tezuka. You think I do not know that you don't love me? We do not hold hands, we do not hug, we do not kiss. I cannot say I don't love you, but you are not the only one I love." Yukimura turned one of his eyes to Tezuka again, delicate smile gracing the pretty face, "Being in a relationship with someone who does not so much as kiss me... it is quite silly, don't you think, Tezuka?"
--
Fuji shuffled quietly to the door when someone knocked. It was late, and he was tired, but he was surprised to see Yukimura at his door. The Child of God beckoned to him, and Fuji grabbed his jacket, donning it and stepping outside. Atobe had gone home for a few hours to freshen up, and Eiji was taking a shower. He didn't want Eiji to attack Yukimura should he see him.
Five minutes into their walk to nowhere in particular, Yukimura finally spoke, "We are alike, you and I."
Fuji blinked, this was not the question he had been expecting, "Well... yes, I suppose so, why?"
The taller boy stopped and Fuji felt a cold hand catch his wrist. He turned to stare into Yukimura's hypnotic eyes, freezing at Yukimura's next words, "Tezuka and I shared our first kiss today."
And then Fuji couldn't breathe.
--
"Fujiko? Fujiko! Answer the door, nya! Fujiko?"
Pacing to the door, Eiji poked his head into various rooms looking for his best friend. Finding a note on the table saying that he was out taking a walk, Eiji smiled, relaxing. Pulling open the door, Eiji grinned, ready to glomp his best friend. "Fuji-!" Eiji stared into the cold eyes of his former captain and immediately switched to what the Seigaku tennis club had once dubbed as Eiji's offensive mode, his hair practically bristling. If he were truly a cat, Eiji would have hissed at Tezuka.
Tezuka never gave him a chance to say anything, because the taller man forced his way through the door, standing in front of Eiji and closing the door behind him.
"Kikumaru. You're right, I have no right at all over Fuji, but-" Tezuka's voice cracked and Eiji jumped, startled, at the sudden vulnerability he saw in Tezuka's determined facade, "-but I just want him back. I'm sorry for hurting him, and I know how much he means to you. He means that much to me, too. That's all." The awkardness in the room was almost unbearable, until Eiji grinned, and Tezuka knew he had been forgiven.
"You better take care of him now, nya!" said Eiji happily as he bounced over to where his suitcase was, arms waving excitedly in the air as he rambled on about how happy Fuji would be and how he missed Oishi.
--
Unlocking the door to his apartment, Fuji smiled, calling out softly, "Eiji!"
Yukimura had explained the situation to him and the weight on his chest seemed to have been lifted.
"Tezuka only dated me out of convenience. I reminded him of you and he was lonely, it was never me he wanted to see, only you. He's never kissed me or touched be before tonight. Tonight, Tezuka kissed me goodbye," Yukimura said, voice soft and delicate smile in place.
Despite everything, Fuji found himself hurting for the blue haired boy, and he found himself whispering, "I'm sorry."
Yukimura smiled at him hauntingly, "You and I, we are much alike. I hurt for you when I was holding Tezuka away from you, and you hurt from me because you think you are taking Tezuka away from me. Truth is, I loved Tezuka, I still do, but it is more like how you love Kikumaru Eiji, or Atobe Keigo, possibly. That bond that is deeper than friendship but is not love like between you and Tezuka. It is a delicate balance of things, and to be honest, I am glad I can finally start looking for what you and Tezuka have, now."
"Besides," said the ex-captain, happy smile in place, "We are alike, geniuses, so they call us. You and I, we will be good friends, no?"
Fuji smiled at the memory, thanking the Gods that the person Tezuka had temporarily chosen had been someone kind, like Yukimura. "Eiji?" He called out again, waiting for the familiar 'nya!' accompanied glomp. What he received instead was even better.
A quiet, simple, "Fuji," from the corner of the room.
The minute he saw Tezuka, curled up on his couch, looking slightly embarassed, Fuji tackled his former captain even as said captain was rising to his feet. The two of them collapsed to the floor in a messy bundle. By the time Tezuka had managed to sit up, Fuji had his arms wrapped around Tezuka's neck, sitting prettily in between Tezuka's legs and hugging the life out of the taller man.
"Fu-ji!" he managed to rasp out, and Fuji immediately released his hold a little bit.
Looking regretfully at the blossoming bruise on Tezuka's cheek, Fuji touched it softly, wincing in place for Tezuka, "I'm sorry," murmured the prodigy, burrying his face in Tezuka neck. Tezuka breathed in Fuji scent, sighing in pleasure as the familiar scent swallowed him. He pressed his lips to Fuji's hair, kissing it tenderly.
"Hn... I-I'm sorry, too." he pulled back, holding Fuji at arm's length and staring into sweet blue eyes, "We have to fix this, you know. Neither of us were willing to reach out to the other even when we wanted to, we have to-"
"Mhm." was Fuji short reply, before catching Tezuka' face with his hands and pressing his lips to Tezuka, tasting, exploring.
Tezuka sighed into Fuji's mouth, arms wrapping around Fuji's face as he surrendered himself to the warmth and leap of his heart. It had been four years since he had last really talked to Fuji, but as he melted into Fuji's tender kisses, Tezuka realized the threads of Fuji's and his own fate had always been intertwined, no matter how hard they had tried to cut them apart in the past.
"I'd always wanted to reach out for you, Fuji," he whispered, "But sometimes... sometimes you'd just seemed so far out of reach."
"But I'm here now," came the equally hushed reply.
Try to Forgive, teach me to live, and give me the strength to try;
Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again - Phantom of the Opera
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Failed? Good? I-should-never-write-again? Feel free to leave your comments in a review. (: And it wasn't EXACTLY a triangle like originally intended, but I COULDN'T make Yukimura a bad person! I just COULDN'T! He's so lovable! (:
I AM LOOKING FOR A BETA-READER! If anyone would like to beta for my stories, feel free to PM me, and I will message you back. (:
--x.lithium;