"Jack, I have this secret I need to tell you," Ianto said, standing in front of me and shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. I raised an eyebrow and smiled at him, indicating the chair in front of my desk, which he took hurriedly and sighed as he sat down.

"Is it sex, drugs or rock and roll?" I asked, and he laughed uneasily and picked a thread on his trousers. My mind wandered somewhere underneath said trousers, but I collared it back and gave him an encouraging smile.

"No, it's not that," he started, and I nodded understandingly. He gulped and went white. "I have... A... Well, I guess you could call it..." I tried desperately not to sigh in exasperation. "A paperclip stuck somewhere important." I took a deep breath and prayed that the laugh bubbling through my chest would remain quiet. "Could you... Get it out for me?" This was one form of seduction I had never considered before, and I stood up and went over to him. "It's right down here," Ianto said quietly, looking at me like a deer in the headlamps before leading me into the main Hub.

"Hmm, a public place, Ianto you are getting more adventurous," I said under my breath, following him and noticing his bum wiggling in his tight slacks. I snuck up behind him and pinned him to the desk, flipping him so he faced me so I could kiss him, my hands dancing down the front of his shirt, tugging it out of his trousers and working on his belt. He pulled back sharply. "What?"

"No, sir- I mean, Jack. The paperclip is stuck in my rubber," he said quietly, lifting the eraser up from his desk where it was impaled by a paperclip.

"Oh."