"That's Mister Hot Bitch to You, The Contest"

Title: The Big Four - OHHHHHH!

Rating: M

Pairing: Carlisle/Esme

Vampire or Human: Human

For more information please see contest details on kittenmischief's profile

AN: I don't own Twilight. But I do own this contest entry as well as my own Hot Bitch Husband who builds fences for a living and inspired this nasty little ditty.

As always thanks to my super beta mischief-maker1

I gingerly opened one eye to the sunlight streaming through my bedroom window. Beautiful…it just had to be beautiful today, didn't it? It was supposed to be damp and dark and all around crappy, just like my mood. Forty. Today was my fucking fortieth birthday and I did not want it to be all sunshine and roses. I pulled the covers back over my head in hopes that I could just sleep until the next day came.

The phone beside the bed rang shrill and loud and I internally cursed because I knew who it was and I knew she would let it ring all day if she had to. So I did the only thing I could...I picked it up and pulled it under the covers with me awaiting the assault on my ear drum.

"Good morning you sexy bitch. How is my oldest and dearest friend on her birthday?"

"Shut the fuck up, Nina. Do you have to remind me that I am your oldest friend? Can't we just forget what today is?"

"We most certainly can not. Now get your ass out of bed and get dressed. I am sending your present over at nine and you need to be presentable."

"Nina," I whined. "I told you it was too extravagant. All I got you for your birthday was a bottle of Dom Perignon and that skanky bustier set that you picked out from Fredrick's of Hollywood, and here you are giving me a fence for my flower garden."

"I happen to have loved my presents. I got quite a bit of use out of them with that diamond broker I was seeing. Not to mention, I got an extremely nice bauble after the gifts had been destroyed. So please let me spend some of hubby number three's hard earned money on you a fence to go around your fucking gorgeous flowers or I swear I am going to give you the gift I had picked out first."

"You wouldn't."

"I would. So unless you want a nice little birthday spanking from a true Dom, and Esme that is what I really meant when I told you I wanted a Dom for my birthday, then you will get your ass out of those fucking duck pajamas, wash your hair, brush your teeth and put on something that shows you are one damn sexy mother fucking forty year old or I will send someone over to make you. Capice?"

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips. How I fucking loved that woman. We had been friends since the crib. We had seen each other through adolescence, high school drama, failed marriages - one for me, three for her, everything. I let out an exasperated sigh to let her know she had won the battle.

"Fine, fine, fine, bitch. I'm up. Now what am I supposed to do when the fence company shows up?"

"Not a thing. I already gave them the details. Short white picket fence around the garden- just like you talked about. You may have to tell them where you want the gate, but besides that everything is taken care of. And Esme, you will love these guys. They did an excellent job around my pool. Just make sure you are ready to go by seven tonight. You and I, plus a bottle of grey goose have got a date tonight."

"I'll be ready. Love you, Nina."

"Love you too, birthday girl. Have fun today." And with that she clicked off leaving me to wonder what exactly she meant. I had a full day of getting the sorority house ready for the new term. How much fun could you have scrubbing and cleaning all day?

I took a quick shower dressing in a peasant skirt and cami top, pulling my shoulder length hair into a loose pile on top of my head. I surveyed myself in the mirror. Decent. I didn't look forty, but of course I didn't look twenty like the girls I lived with. I sucked in my stomach, lifting my boobs to their teenage placement. Gravity is a bitch. No wonder they say it is all downhill when you hit thirty. I just hope my tits don't sag anymore or Nina is going to be giving me the number for that plastic surgeon she dated last year.

I made my way down to the kitchen to find my other three favorite people already in the throes of cleaning. All seniors this year, they were as different in personalities as looks but I loved them equally. Being a house mother, I tried to not get attached to the girls who passed through. It hurt too much when they left. It was like losing a child-again. But I couldn't help the connection I felt with Alice, Rose and Bella. They were my family now, along with Nina. I gave them each a warm smile as I entered the room.

"Morning, Esme, happy birthday. We made your favorite muffins for breakfast even though you said…"

"Ali, shut the fuck up. You know she didn't want us to make a big deal about her birthday." Rose said popping her butt with the dishtowel in her hand.

"It's just muffins, Rose and well a few presents. Please Esme, don't be mad. We couldn't help ourselves."

I walked around the kitchen and gave Bella a tight hug. She was the sweetest of the three. Alice had the personality and Rose, well all you could say about Rose was she was beautiful, brash and bigger than life.

"I guess I can handle a few presents. Nina has a construction company coming over in an hour to build a fence around the garden and we have a lot of cleaning to do before the semester starts next week. How about we go ahead and open them now?"

The first was from Bella, two tickets to the ballet that was coming to town. I knew it had been sold out for weeks and I felt the tears start to form that she had put so much thought into her gift.

Alice's was a cocktail dress that was entirely too short and tight for a woman of my age. But she assured me that it would be perfect for some naughty, romantic date with a handsome stranger. Well no need to worry about the dress. I couldn't remember the last naughty date I had. Usually once I told the guy that I taught literature, had an aficionado for flowers and was a house mother to twenty college girls, they either spaced out in boredom or started questioning me on the shower rituals of the girls in my house.

"Well Esme, my gift is not quite as uh…ladylike as the others, but I bet you'll like it." Rose said as she pushed the brightly covered box towards me.

I tore it open, and my mouth fell open to the item inside. There nestled in the bright pink tissue paper was a bright purple dildo.

"Rose…I don't know what to say."

"You better say you like it because it is nonrefundable. Now it has three speeds and six different rotations and see that little bird, well when it flaps against your clit…"

"Enough Rose. I get the idea." I turned the package over in my hand placing it back in the box. "Thank you so much for the uh…Hot Bitch. I think I will go put my presents away so we can get busy on the house."

I was elbows deep in a bucket of grimy water when I heard the giggles coming from the kitchen. I stripped off the gloves and peaked around the corner, wondering what all the commotion was about.

"Look at that fucking head of hair. I just want to dig my fingers into it while I wrap my legs around his waist." I heard Bella say. Funny, she never talked like that; she was always the shy one.

"I want the beach bum. I am going to use my tongue to lick all over that Texas flag tattoo on his back." Alice squealed.

"Well the big one is fucking mine. So don't you bitches even think about it!" Rose said as she pressed her head against the window.

I scooted into the kitchen to see what was going on. There in the back yard where three of the best looking young men I had ever seen. Being the third week of August, the temperature had already soared and all three guys had stripped off their shirts while they set about planting posts for the fence.

"I think I will make them a snack." Bella said as she hurried to the fridge.

'I'm going to get some drinks." Alice added while pulling out a large pitcher from under the sink.

"Well, I am going upstairs, putting on my tiniest bikini, lathering my skin down in coconut oil and getting a tan." Rose stated as she headed for the stairs.

"Girls, you said you were going to help me today. We have so much to get done." I hated sounding like a nagging mother but everything in the house needed to be scrubbed and washed before the other girls came back from summer break.

"Please, Esme. We'll do double the work tomorrow. I just have to meet that guy out there. I promise we will make it up to you." Alice pleaded, looking at me through her puppy dog eyes. I let out a small sigh. I ought to have SUCKER stamped across my forehead.

"Go on, all three of you. Have fun." I stated as they each took off for their respective tasks.

Two hours later I had quite a bit accomplished. I strolled to the kitchen window to see how the fence was progressing. Three posts in the ground and nothing else. Bella and her copper haired guy were under a tree listening to music, sharing a set of ear buds. Alice and the blonde were just sitting, talking, in a chaise lounge; however she was snuggled up in his lap despite the heat. And Rose, well Rose was getting oiled up very well by the large one with dimples. Ahhh…to be young again. What a pity we have to grow old. I thought as I surveyed the sight in front of me.

That was when I saw him. Blonde hair, deep tan, muscled forearms. I felt my knees start to weaken as I watched him walk across the lawn. Fucking shit he is hot! I stared in amusement as all three guys jumped up upon his arrival. I couldn't hear what he was saying but it looked like they were getting quite an earful. I held in a chuckle as my three girls slipped silently back inside and the guys went back to work.

"Who is that? " I asked.

"That's Carlisle Cullen. He's Edward's father, the guy I was sitting with. He owns the construction company. I don't think he was too happy with what they had accomplished." Bella said as she joined me beside the picture window.

The other two girls gathered round as we all crammed together staring out the window. It was mesmerizing to watch their bodies as they dug holes and lifted posts. Much to my surprise after chastising the guys, Carlisle grabbed a pair of posts hole diggers and went right to work. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his strong arms and how his calf muscles bulged as he squatted down to make sure the holes were deep enough.

I was brought out of my reverie to the sounds of giggling.

"See something you like Esme?" Alice asked.

My cheeks flamed a bright pink at being caught ogling the man in the backyard.

"I …uh…well." My brain could not form a coherent sentence.

"It's okay to drool, Esme. He is one hot bitch." Rose said, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, referring to her earlier birthday present.

I watched intently as Carlisle turned from the task at hand and began walking towards the patio door. A few seconds later I heard a tentative knock and to my surprise I was alone in the kitchen. I smoothed my skirt and shirt, hoping to make a somewhat presentable appearance as I opened the back door. I was accosted by the most brilliant ice blue eyes I had ever seen.

"Good morning, uh… Esme, right? I'm Carlisle Cullen, I own the fence company. I just wanted to apologize for the boys' lack of work this morning. It seems they got a little preoccupied." He flashed a warm smile and I could feel my heart beat intensify.

"It's not a problem. I should probably be apologizing to you for my girls. They seem to be quite taken with them. Can I offer you something? Tea, lemonade?" Me naked underneath you?

"No thank you. I did want to make sure it was alright if we used your hose pipe to mix the cement."

"Of course, feel free to use anything you need." And I do mean – anything.

"Can I ask you something? Did you grow all these flowers? I have never seen such beautiful hydrangeas. And I noticed you also have some Cherry Pie Plants. I haven't seen those in years."

I was sure my mouth fell open in shock. Here was my own personal god in front of me and he had a distinct knowledge of flowers.

"My flowers are sort of my babies. I just love the vanilla/almond scent the Cherry Pie Plants produce. I'm shocked that you knew what they were."

"My wife grew them as well. They were some of her favorites."

I felt a small twinge of sadness at the mention of a wife. It should have been no surprise that a man like this was unavailable. At the least though, it was nice to have someone who appreciated the hard work.

"That's nice. What other kinds of flowers does she grow?"

I saw a faint shadow of sorrow pass across his face. It was gone as fast as it had appeared as he looked deep in to my eyes, a smile now upon his lips.

"She actually passed away five years ago. Cancer. I just couldn't bring myself to work in the garden after she passed. Seeing your beautiful blooms just made me realize what I have been missing."

The look in his eyes seemed to convey that he was talking about more than the flowers. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as he slowly raked his eyes up and down my body.

We stood with our eyes locked for several moments until I heard the large one with dimples clearing his throat.

"Umm…Carlisle, can we use the hose or not?"

I felt a small twinge of sadness as he tore his eyes from mine.

"Yes, Emmett. Go ahead and I'll be right there. Excuse me, Esme; I guess I should get back to work."

I watched as he walked back to the other men, all of whom seemed to be quite pleased with the exchange they had witnessed. He turned and gave me a bright smile and then headed around the house to grab a wheelbarrow.

"Ohhh, Esme. You have to ask him out. He is so interested in you." Alice said coming up behind me.

"Alice, all he did was ask to use the hose pipe."

"He also commented on your blooms. And you know he wasn't talking about your begonias. Besides when was the last time you got laid?" Rose said as she walked back into the kitchen.

"Rose please…"

"What, Esme? You are a gorgeous woman and he was so hitting on you. Live a little."

"I…I don't think so. I don't even know him."

"If he is anything like Edward than he is fabulous." Bella replied dreamily. "What would it hurt to ask him out? The six of us are going out tonight. Why not let him be your little birthday treat?"

I silently shook my head. These girls seemed to forget I wasn't twenty anymore. I went back to looking out the window only to have the most fantastic sight meet my eyes.

Carlisle had removed his shirt and was letting the water from the hose cascade over his head. He then proceeded to fill the wheelbarrow with water and concrete mix. I watched in fascination as the tiny rivulets of water cascaded down his face and neck, slowly making their way down his sculpted back, disappearing somewhere into the band of his khaki shorts.

I felt the wetness start to pool between my legs as I followed one single drop from his hairline all the way down his chiseled chest. I imagined myself sucking that single bead of water into my mouth as I lavished his torso with hot open mouthed kisses, slowly sinking to my knees as I filled my mouth with his pulsing cock.

I snapped back to my senses realizing that all three girls were staring at me.

"You know, I think I'll go up to my room for a while. Nina and I have plans for tonight and knowing her, I will probably need a little rest." I knew they had caught me fantasizing and I really did not feel like enduring the Spanish Inquisition from them.

"Sure Esme. We'll hold down the fort. Just go upstairs and relax for a while." Rose stated, never taking her eyes off the window.

I made my way upstairs and quietly shut the door. I felt dirty from earlier and decided to jump in and take a quick shower. Ten minutes later I was cuddled up in my fuzzy robe, trying to sleep, to no avail.

I just couldn't get that man out of my mind. It had been quite a while since I had enjoyed any type of intimate contact and the thought of Carlisle was bringing all my naughty fantasies to the forefront.

Slowly, I leaned over and picked up Rose's gift from the night stand. Embarrassment coursed through my body as I removed it from the package, turning it over in my hands, inspecting it.

I couldn't - could I?

Just then I noticed the small bottle of lubricant, tucked inside the box. Leave it to Rose to think of everything. I squeezed a small amount of the scented lube into my hands and liberally coated the head of the sex toy in my hand. Vanilla- just like the flowers Carlisle had mentioned.

Propping my legs apart on the bed, I closed my eyes and slowly inserted the dildo into my pussy. Taking a few minutes to adjust to the size, I felt my body start to warm as the juices began to flow down my legs.

My fingers found the button at the base as the dildo started to twist and turn in various directions. I moved the cock in and out, reveling in the feelings coursing through my body. Faster and faster I moved it, soft grunts and sighs falling from my lips. My fingers once again found the buttons and the tiny hummingbird on the side started moving its wings up and down, hitting the most sensitive spot on my clit, causing my cries to grow louder.

"Carlisle…ugh…oh shit…Carlisle, there right there."

The movements inside of me, along with the images of the hot sweaty man in my backyard sped me towards my release. Over and over I chanted his name as the sensations swept through me.

"Oh God…don't stop!" I cried out.

I squeezed my legs together and in one final thrust I felt myself fall over the edge.

Never opening my eyes, I removed my new favorite gift and curled up into a ball on the bed. My eyes popped open to the sound of a throat clearing.

Carlisle - standing inside my room. His eyes dark and full of lust as he gazed upon my form. I felt my stomach churn, knowing that he had caught me masturbating.

"I'm sorry Esme. I needed to know where to set the gate posts and… uhh… the girls told me to come on up. I did knock and then I heard my name…so I just came on in."

What was I supposed to say? My fantasy man had walked in and caught me getting off with a bright purple dildo while screaming his name. I felt the heat burn my cheeks as I buried my head in the pillow in absolute mortification.

I felt the beg sag as a rough hand pulled my chin so that my gaze met his.

"Esme that was the single most erotic thing I have ever seen. But it is such as waste to let all your delectable juices go to waste. May I?"

I stared into his eyes and gave my head a gentle nod as he scooted down between my legs plunging his tongue deep into my core.

"Please…don't …stop!" I screamed as his tempo increased.

Harder and deeper he fucked me with his tongue, pushing my robe away to palm my breasts with his callused hands. I buried my hands into his hair, roughly pushing him farther into my wet pussy.

His teeth found my clit and with one gentle nip, I found my release, gushing into his waiting mouth.

I looked down to see his piercing blue eyes staring back at me from between my legs. A bright smile graced his face as he made his way back up my body stopping to bestow hot kisses upon various parts of my body finally ending with us face to face.

"You are the most exquisite creature I have ever seen." He said as his lips met mine. He let his tongue gently sweep across my lips and then enter my mouth allowing me to taste my own flavor mixed with his.

My hands began to roam his body- my fingertips trailing down his muscled arms, circling his nipples and across his flat stomach, up and down his back.

Nimbly, my fingers undid the button and zipper on his shorts as I slipped my hands in the waist band of his boxers, my hand encircling his hard warmth.

"God, Esme…feels so good."

That was all I needed to hear as I moved myself on top of him, pulling his clothes the rest of the way off not even bothering with his work boots.

I climbed on top of him and lowered myself onto his awaiting cock. A small hiss escaped his lips as his eyes rolled back, finally closing.

He placed both his hands on each of my hips, helping to set the pace as I rocked against him.

"Fuck, Esme…fuck me. Just like that baby, don't stop."

I increased my tempo, bracing my feet against the bed for more leverage. Each word and grunt coming from his mouth fueling my desire even more.

In one swift motion, he flipped us so that he was on top, never losing a single stroke. The change in position allowed his cock to hit my most sensitive spot as I cried out in ecstasy.

"Shit…harder, Carlisle. Please…I'm going to cum."

He grabbed both wrists with one hand, placing then above my head. With one final thrust he buried himself to the hilt inside my pussy as we fell over the edge together.

He collapsed on top of me as I wrapped my arms around him, inhaling the mixed aroma of our combined sweat and sex. I placed a tender kiss on his shoulder as he nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck.

Slowly he rolled off, propping himself up one elbow, flashing me a bright grin.

"You would think it was my birthday after that gift you just gave me."

I couldn't help but laugh at the mention of my dreaded day.

"How did you know it was my birthday?"

"Your friend, Nina, told me the fence was a birthday present. Plus the girls might have mentioned it. I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out tonight? Perhaps a little birthday celebration."

The question caught me off guard, as I was still in the aftershocks of the best sex I had ever experienced.

"Umm...No."

I saw the hurt flash across his face as he quickly bent down to retrieve his clothes.

"Um…okay. I just thought… I'm sure I'm not what you are looking for…" I felt terrible that he had taken it the wrong way.

"No Carlisle, I didn't mean it like that. I have plans with Nina tonight. But I did get tickets to the ballet for next weekend. If you would be interested in going?"

He gave a quick glance to the dress Alice had given me, hanging on the closet door. "Only if you agree to wear that." He said pointing to the outfit. "And you can bring this along too, for afterwards." He said picking up the dildo that had fallen off the bed. "I think I would rather like to use this on you again."

I felt the blush rise again at the gorgeous man in front of me.

"Are you sure you want me to bring it with me? I think you do rather fine on your own. I mean you could just be my hot bitch from now on."

"Oh most definitely. And it's MR. HOT BITCH to you." He said swooping in for one last kiss.

He strolled from the room, leaving me to relive my post coital glow alone. So I did the best thing I knew to do.

I grabbed the phone from the bed side table and punched in the number. She answered on the first ring.

"Nina, this has been the best birthday ever."

AN2: Oh yeah…who wouldn't wish for a Hot Bitch Carlisle for their birthday? Better than cake and icecream anyday- unless of course, Carslile was wearing it!!!!