One of The Boys

Chapter One: A Boy Named Sandy

Doo doo doo

Doo doo doo doo da-doo

Doo doo doo…

I saw a spider

I didn't scream

'Cause I can belch the alphabet

Just, double dog dare me, and

I chose guitar over ballet

And I take these suckers down

'Cause they just get in my way…

Sandy hummed along to the song blaring on the radio and tapped her dingy sneakered foot to the rickety floor of Boss' unattractively dusty pick-up. The upbeat tune wasn't what made her so happy, nor was it the fact that their baseball team had shut out her twin brother's in their scrimmage (though it was a major factor nonetheless). The sheer pleasure she got from beating the others to the truck and earning herself shot gun was what did it for her. She pulled the lever back to recline her seat and show off all the space she had up there to the boys crowded in the back and bed of the vehicle. The normal hooting and hollering carried on as always after a victory and the girl closed her eyes with a content smile.

When Sandy was dropped off at home, though, the sound of a boy's yelling was not so amusing to her anymore. Stan had greeted her with a scowl and a soft punch to the arm, the knuckles of his paw still covered with sand from the field. Sandy simply ignored the poor sport as she walked upstairs, and swung her odorous bag into the corner of her closet, continuing on to the bathroom. Stan followed her, stomping all the while.

"You guys are such cheaters! I can't believe you! Oh man, is the ump going to hear it from me next time! What cheap calls! Sis, you guys mighta won this time, but we'll get you back when it counts! And hey! Aren't you breaking the rules by playing on a boys team anyway, since you're a girl?"

Sandy wanted to smack the sly grin off her brother's face as he stood, leaning against the doorway , but she hesitantly chose to wash off her face and paws instead.

"Mom and Dad like, got me permission. So hah, snot face!"

"Don't call me that! I have a cute face." Stan crossed his arms, turning his nose up to the air.

"If by 'cute', you totally mean 'ugly'!" Sandy snickered as she wiped the water from her chin.

"You're the ugly one! Sometimes I can't even tell you're a girl! Haha," he retorted, glaring at her.

"Well, maybe I like, don't wanna be a girl…" snarled she. "You're more of a girl than me, anyway!"

"Hey!" Stan went in for a head-lock, creasing his forehead in resentment.

"Kids…! Dinner's ready!" the twin's mother called from the other side of the house. They groaned, disappointed there would be no fight.

"We'll settle this there, then." Stan narrowed his eyes. Sandy's mimicked his.

"Fine. Whoever eats the most fried squash wins."

"Guys, that's an awful lot of squash you put on your plates…" Sandy and Stan's father commented with an odd and surprised expression on his face.

"Oh, they're just growing children," their mother said, dismissing that the two had only spared about half a dozen pieces.

"Yeah, Dad! We're totally growing kids!" Sandy agreed with a laugh, wiping the grease from her mouth with her striped sleeve.

"Well, just be sure to not only eat the breading," her father replied, having not noticed what they girl had just done.

"Okay!" Sandy spit a few chunks of food as she said this, her mouth full to capacity. Her mother gasped, pulling at her own whiskers in dismay at her daughter's feat .

"Sandy! I just watched you do two very big dinner table no-nos in a row! Sweetheart, we do have napkins. Please don't use your shirt. And… Remember to chew and swallow before you speak. Nobody wants to see your food."

"Ha! 'See food'!" Stan coughed, opening his filled mouth so only Sandy could look.

"Like, Stan! You're such a dweeb! You sooo need to get a life!" she hollered, trying to reach across the table to slap him.

"Twins, settle down," their father scolded unsuccessfully as the two young teens ran off and around the corner. His wife sighed, slumping in her chair and hitting her foot against something under the table. She bent down to grab it and emerged with an even bigger frown, presenting a shoe which resembled Swiss cheese in between two fingers.

"Oi… She really needs to get rid of these things," the woman said, indicating the tattered red skateboarding shoes. She sighed again heavily. "You would think she lived with only you and Stan with the way she acts sometimes…" Her husband didn't know if he should have been insulted by this or not.

The ruckus from upstairs got louder as Sandy and Stan returned to the dining room.

"Uh-oh! Here they come again!" their father chuckled. The siblings sat down. "So did you get it all out of your systems?"

Sandy beamed. "Yup."

"Yeah…" Stan answered, rubbing the back of his head and sulking as he bit his lip.

"Well, good. Let's have a nice family dinner now," he proposed, flashing a reassuring smile at his wife, who wearily returned it.

They all picked up their forks and ate in pleasant silence. An occasional question was asked about one's day or a comment uttered about how good the meal was had been made, but for the most part everyone busied themselves with munching.

As Sandy and Stan's mother began to clear the table, Sandy chugged down the last of her water and let out a long, grotesque belch which struck both her parents faces with a look of horror. This caused her father to nearly choke and her mother to drop a plate. Both glowered in the direction of the source. Stan, still placed at his chair, laughed so hard his drink spluttered out of his nose.

"Oh, dude! Nice!" he said between wheezes, holding up his paw for a hi-five. Sandy leaned over and clapped paws together with him, the sound echoed off the walls.

Their father glared at them.

"Stanley, don't praise your sister for such impolite things. And please don't call her 'dude'…"

It was another lazy summer day and the first thing that Sandy did that mid morning upon waking up was go to the bathroom. She stepped through the hall and took a whiff of the sweet July air pouring into the house from the big window at the end of the hallway. It was a great change for her nose after having to smell dirt and sweat and possibly an old pizza crust she could not find for the life of her all night long. She didn't take the time to notice the beautiful teal curtains fluttering around, trying to rub off the goop that had accumulated on her eyelashes as she'd slept on her way to the bathroom.

While she pulled her boxers down and sat, Stan happened to walk by and jumped as usual at seeing his sister relieving herself. It was an unfortunate occurrence that the two always seemed to wake up around the same time. Their parents diagnosed the phenomenon to it just being a "twin thing".

Stan averted his eyes, grumbling in the same anger and shock he felt every time this happened, which was often enough he should have known by now it was to befall on him.

"Augh! Geez, Sandy! Would ya close the door for once?"

His snarl got a laugh out of her.

"Umm… Chill out, dude! I'm just your sister. And I'm like, sitting down, so you totally can't see anything."

Stan reddened from embarrassment and rage. "Same diff! I got enough of this anatomy crap in health class last year!"

Sandy raised an eyebrow, weaving her arms atop each other over her chest.

"Again. I'm like, your sister. You so totally shouldn't be looking at me like that."

"But, I'm not!" Stan cried out, puffing his cheeks and glaring at her for a moment, forgetting she was still on the toilet.

"Oh, really?" Sandy smirked, opening her mouth wide to yell. "MOM! Stan's watching me while I'm trying to take a leak!"

Once she'd said that, she remembered that her mother had to work that day and her father's voice was proof of this.

"Stan, don't look at your sister when she's using the bathroom. It's unnatural. And Sandy, young ladies don't talk like that, not in this house. Please shut the door next time."

Stan retreated to his room and Sandy scoffed, quoting her father snottily.

" 'Young lady'. Puh!"

-.-.-