Author's Note: Um, hi. It's been... several years since I posted to this story. I doubt anyone is still reading but if you are, I wanted to post this chapter. I've had it kind of sitting on my computer for awhile and tonight seemed like a good as time as any to finish and post it so, here it is. :) Thank you as always to those who have read over the years and left me the most amazing feedback. Rockstars, all of you. THANK YOU. And also, sorry, the story is still not complete. We're getting there.
Chapter Twenty-One
Renesmee POV
I was going to see my parents again. Parents I hadn't seen in almost 16 years. Parents I had believed to be dead. And I didn't know how to feel about it.
On one hand, I was still slightly pissed off that they hadn't continued to search for me. That they had given up on me just because the stupid Volturi said I was dead. On the other hand, I understood. We had never searched for anyone because Jake couldn't hear the wolves anymore. No further evidence needed. And we were very wrong about that.
I was also happy. The family I had missed and wanted my entire life was back. No one was dead. Our entire family, from Jake's Quileute family, to my vampire family, to Charlie and even Marnie… we were all alive and well and complete.
However, I was also nervous. For nearly my entire life it had been Jake and I against the world. Sure, we had let Marnie into our world, but it was still just us. We called the shots. We made the decisions that shaped our lives. If I had to answer to anyone, it was just Jake. Even with foster parents, I always knew that if I didn't want to be there or if I screwed it up somehow, we could run.
But these were my real parents; the ones who had conceived me and birthed me and loved me. Who were willing to die to keep me safe if that is what it would take. I couldn't run from them if we had a disagreement. I couldn't walk away if this didn't work out the way I wanted it to. Once they found out I was alive, I would be stuck with them for the rest of my eternal life. I had adored them when I was a child, but I had no idea what I was going to think of them now that I was fully grown. Or what they were going to think of me.
"What's going through that pretty head of yours?" Jacob leaned over and placed a soft kiss on my forehead, smoothing my hair from my face and watching me closely for any visible clues as to my thoughts. He knew me too well.
I wanted to tell him the truth of all the worries and doubts running through my mind, but we were sitting in the back of a sedan with my Uncle Emmett at the wheel and Aunt Rosalie in the passenger seat. With one look towards the front seat, Jacob understood that I didn't feel comfortable talking in front of anyone else.
He smiled and lifted my hand to his face. "Then show me."
It was difficult to show him the confusion that I was feeling through a vision, but I had a feeling he would understand, simply because he knew me better than anyone in the world. When the vision was over he took my hand from his cheek and placed it to his lips, kissing my palm and then the inside of my wrist. He sighed.
"I feel the same way." Jacob admitted quietly. "But we can't turn back now."
"No, we can't." I sighed and leaned into him, placing my head on his shoulder. I looked up and met Emmett's gaze in the rearview mirror. "And I wouldn't want to anyway. There's just a lot to think about."
I must have fallen asleep shortly after that, as the next thing I knew, we had arrived in Elkins, West Virginia; the most recent Cullen home town. It was a very small city, maybe twice the population of Forks, but not by much. There was little to no sun when we arrived, which I was sure was a deciding factor when my family had decided to move there. Several inches of snow covered the ground and it crunched beneath our feet as we stepped out of the car and onto the driveway, or at least what I would consider a driveway. The house was miles from civilization and surrounded by nothing but woods, another factor I'm sure played a part in deciding to move here.
I only had a couple seconds to take in the grandness of the newest Cullen mansion, what appeared to be a remodeled lavish two-story cabin, before Esme had rushed outside to greet me. Carlisle had sped back from Forks to tell her the news in person and it was clear she was excited. She pulled me into a strong embrace before I even had a chance to understand what was happening.
"Oh my sweet girl, you're finally home, after all this time."
It was kind of funny that I knew my family was immortal and wouldn't have changed after all this time, yet it still sort of amazed me that they all looked and smelled exactly the way I remembered them from my childhood. I inhaled Esme's fragrance. To me she had always smelled of oranges and fresh cut grass. She made me feel safe.
"Any word from Alice and Jasper yet? Did they find Edward and Bella?" I could hear Rosalie questioning Carlisle a few feet away.
"Not yet, but they said they would call as soon as they did. And Alice always keeps her promises." Carlisle responded calmly.
"Let's get you inside. It was quite a long journey." If there was one thing that could be said for Esme, it was her never-ending kindness and compassion for others. She kept me close at her side, kissing the top of my head as she steered me for the front door. "Have you eaten? Are you hungry?"
"I…" I looked around to make sure Jacob had followed us inside before I attempted to answer the question on my hunger level. As soon as my eyes met his inside the foyer of the enormous house, he shot me a reassuring smile. "I could definitely eat."
"What are you eating these days?" Esme glanced from me to Jacob to Carlisle and then back to me, smiling but obviously a little nervous. "Human, animal, or something that requires our kitchen?"
I couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped my lips. Her question was just another reminder that my family was the farthest thing from normal you could get.
"I'm not that picky." I glanced over at Jacob, before I continued to assess the house visually.
The main living space was bright and open with natural light pouring through the open windows despite the lack of sunshine outside. Where there weren't windows, there was richly stained Oak, orange hued light fixtures and natural stone; a fireplace that took up an entire wall, a winding staircase to the upstairs, a huge dome shaped chandelier. While our home in Forks had been stark, modern and white, this house seemed to be the exact opposite. Everything about it said it was rustic, warm and inviting.
"Well, I don't think I have human on hand but Carlisle could probably run up to the hospital and borrow a bag or two." Esme glanced over at her husband who shrugged and nodded.
"No, that's okay. Not necessary." I didn't want Carlisle to have to leave, nor did I want him to take blood from patients at the hospital just for me. "It's been like 5 years since I had human blood anyway. Our last Christmas in Belgrade right Jake?"
"Belgrade, Montana?" Rosalie questioned me immediately, her eyes going wide as if I had just spoken words she couldn't believe.
"Uh, yeah." I nodded and waited for her to respond, but all she did was look to Carlisle, Esme and Emmett with wide eyes. "Anyone gonna tell me why that's such a big deal? We lived there with Marnie. That's where we met her and where we told her the truth about us."
The vampires in the room continued to share furtive glances but no one spoke up so all I could do was look over at Jacob and frown. Finally, Esme spoke up.
"We went to Belgrade, looking for you, several years ago. It was probably the end of April, just after that Christmas you spent there. A friend of ours had told us she saw you there so we went as fast as we could but when we got there, there was no trace of you."
My mouth dropped open in disbelief and the look I gave Jacob probably would have killed him if my special power was laser beams from my eyes instead of visions from my fingers.
"Your friend Bonnie?" I spoke slowly so the rage that was bubbling beneath the surface of my skin had time to fester. "Vampire? Tall, blonde and gorgeous?"
"That's her. You were actually there?" Rosalie seemed less angry and more confused than anything else. "If you were there we would have been able to smell you. We would have found you."
"We were there." My eyes connected with Jacob's and he scowled under the scrutiny. "We were at prom and Bonnie interrupted. She recognized me but I didn't have a chance to ask her how because a certain WOLF chased her away and tried to kill her. And then the same wolf whisked me out of that city and away from Marnie because he thought we were in danger, even though I told him that I didn't think we were."
"Ness, we've moved past this." Jacob held up his hands in front of his chest as if he were trying to protect himself and it was only then that I realized I'd been slowly advancing towards him with murder in my eyes. "I said I was sorry."
"Marnie burnt her house down and moved so there would be no trace of us. Apparently she did a really good job because there was no trace of us when MY FAMILY arrived to find us!" I slammed my hands into Jacob's chest and he grimaced but didn't fall before I found myself being pulled across the room and lightly restrained by Carlisle.
"We're together now." Carlisle spoke calmly and held me close as my chest rose and fell in anger. "We're together now. It's not Jacob's fault. He was protecting you as your parents asked him to do. Bonnie could have been a threat. He did the right thing."
Slowly my rage subsided and I felt my body relax. When it was clear I had calmed, Carlisle gently released me from his embrace and set me back on my own two feet. Across the room, Jacob was still clutching his chest where I had struck him. I couldn't tell if the look in his eyes was fear or anguish.
"I'm sorry Jake." The words hardly seemed adequate given the fact that I'd just completely lost my temper and took it out on him moments before. "Not that it's an excuse but Belgrade's still a sore spot. More so now that I know my family actually did come there looking for me. You know I didn't want to leave."
"I can't take it back Renesmee. I would if I could, but I can't. And I thought you had forgiven me." Jacob averted his eyes from my gaze. I could see he was in pain but I couldn't tell if it was emotional or physical. He looked towards the front door. "I'm gonna go get some air."
I wanted to follow him and spend as much time as necessary apologizing, but when I took a step forward, he waved me off and sped for the door, slamming it behind him as he escaped outside. I knew he wouldn't go far, but that knowledge didn't keep the panic from threatening to creep up my throat any less.
"We didn't speak for four years after he took me from Belgrade." I couldn't help but chew on my lower lip, ashamed of the way I had acted towards Jacob, especially in front of my family who were just getting a chance to know me again. "I'm sorry I overreacted. It's just… you could have found me back then if we had stayed. We could have had more time together."
There was utter silence in the room for what seemed like forever. No one in the room moved an inch. Surprisingly, it was Rosalie who spoke first. She moved from her spot a few feet from me and pulled me into her arms for a hug. "We have an eternity together and we're never gonna let you go again. Forgive the dog."
I let Rosalie hold me for a few more seconds before I pulled slowly from her arms and smiled at her. "Thank you." With a sigh, I turned towards the door. "I should go find Jacob."
"I don't think you'll have to go far." Rosalie grinned as if she knew something I didn't know.
She was right. I opened the front door and Jacob was sitting on the steps of the front porch.
"Hey." I stood behind Jacob's shoulder and waited a second for him to glance up at me, but he didn't. "Jake? Can I sit with you?"
He shrugged but didn't say a word so cautiously; I sat down next to him. For a few moments, there was silence.
"I'm sorry Jake." I spoke first. "I know I overreacted. I…" Did I have a real explanation for why I'd behaved the way I did? "There's really no excuse Jake. I was wrong. We have moved past Belgrade and we're with my family now, at least part of them. Please don't be mad at me."
"I'm not mad." Jacob muttered softly while keeping his gaze on the tree line. "You're right. If I hadn't taken you from there, you'd have had so much extra time with them. And yeah, you have eternity, but even in eternity, extra years mean something." He sighed. "Those four years after, they were the worst years of my life. I hated myself for making you so miserable. You being miserable physically makes me miserable as well. Your emotions affect my emotions. It was horrific. And I thought you'd never speak to me again. And honestly, if I'd come to you on that graduation day and you'd rejected speaking to me again, I don't know what I would have done."
"But we're here now, right? Like you said, we're past all that. And I just overreacted. It won't happen again."
"It might. And hell, what if your parents come back and they kill me for it? Or for not finding them sooner? Or for dating you? I mean, they could blame me, the same way you do, for all the lost time."
"I don't blame you Jake." I reached out for his hand and forced him to entwine it with mine. "I don't blame you and they won't either. And if they do, they'll have to deal with me, cause I love you and I will defend you to the death."
We both knew I would lose in a fight against my parents, so we laughed. After a few minutes, the mood turned subdued again. Jacob untangled our hands and instead wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side for an embrace. He placed a kiss on top of my head.
"I need you to promise me something Ness." He spoke so softly that I could barely hear him. I knew that meant he was trying to keep our conversation private from the prying ears of my family inside. "If it comes to choosing me or choosing your parents, I want you to choose them okay?"
"It won't come to that." I refused the idea immediately. "They are the ones who forced you to run away with me Jake. It won't come to that. They're not gonna be mad at you."
"But if they are and they don't want me around, I want you to choose them. You've lost so much time with them and I guess it didn't really hit me until we were here. Until we got to this place and you got so angry finding out that you really had lost time with them because of me. But it is my fault they couldn't find you. I was thorough and ruthless. So there's a chance they're gonna come back and hate me. You get that right?"
"They won't." I insisted, but part of me deep down knew he was right. I hadn't seen my parents in 16 years. I had no idea how they were going to respond. And there was definitely a chance that they took it out on Jacob, even though he only did what they asked.
"But if they do…" Jacob kissed my forehead again and sighed, deep in thought. "You choose them."