"Vyvyan!" Came the disembodied cry of a spotty anarchist. The door banged open and Rick furiously entered the other boy's room. He held an obscenely dirty sock in each hand, both were dripping ominously. "What the rrrwuddy hell did you put in my socks? And don't bother telling me you didn't do it because I know it was you! You-"

Rick suddenly went quiet. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He backed as quietly as he could out of the room and ran all the way downstairs to the kitchen, yelling: "Mike! Mike!"

"I know I'm exciting, Rick, but you're going to have to contain yourself." Mike said smoothly from behind his morning paper. He glanced over it at Rick, who stood wide-eyed and panting slightly, struggling to put into words what he had seen. "What are you doing with those socks?"

"What?" He looked at the dripping socks and threw them onto the sofa. "Oh, nevermind that! Listen, I was just in Vyvyan's room-"

"Careful, Rick! Did you check yourself with the Geiger counter?"

"No, listen, Mike! He was still in bed!"

"Well, maybe he's tired. If he's had anything like the night I had, I wouldn't expect to see him up till Judgment Day."

"That's just the point!" Rick leaned in very close to Mike and spoke very slowly. "He… wasn't…. alone!"

"Of course not! You were in the room, too."

"No! No, no! I mean- wait, are you implying…?"

"Rick, do you know the astronomer with the gold nose and the exploding bladder who spent every night recording the positions of the stars for twenty years?"

"That was… That was Brahe, wasn't it?"

"I don't know, but I'm not him and I haven't got twenty years, so get to the point, Rick."

"Oh, rwight. Well, you see, Mike-"

"Mike! Guys! I just saw something you're not going to believe!" Someone came thundering down the stairs and Neil suddenly turned into the kitchen.

"Neil, you've got to stop turning into the kitchen," complained Rick with his hands on his waist, thumbs forward, "you know we've already got one, we don't need two."

"Oh. Right." said Neil, turning back into himself.

"I'm glad that's settled then, I can go back to reading my paper," said Mike, and he did.

Rick sat down at the table and started pouring himself a bowl of cornflakes and Neil went to the cabinet to get started on the lentils.

"I think I'll make chocolate lentils today."

"Goodness, they're certainly making cornflakes tougher and zestier than they did back in the day." Contemplated Rick, after a few spoonfuls.

"That's because those aren't cornflakes, Rick."

"Oh really? Is it a new brand?" Rick picked up the box and inspected it in confusion. "But it says Cornflakes on the box, Mike." He took another bite and chewed analytically.

"I know, but that's not what's in it. That's just where Vyvyan keeps his toenail sample collection."

Rick swallowed in surprise. "What?"

Neil turned away from the stove. "Aw, Mike, I wish you'd told me that before I had breakfast."

"Vyvyan!" Rick hissed venomously under his breath, then suddenly remembering, "Vyvyan! Mike, I just remembered…"