Title: Chains of Rapture
Pairing: VincentxCloud, RenoxCloud, SephirothxCloud
Rating: R
Warnings: AU, OOC, angst, yaoi, non-con, self-mutilation, rape, abuse (physical/mental/emotional), language, violence
Summary: It's been three years since he saw those eyes and tasted those lips. Would life be kind enough to grant him this last chance?
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor do I own any of the music mentioned within this story. I do, however, own any and all OC's, so if you wish to use them then please ask for permission first before hand. Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 1

The gentle breeze ran through spiky blond tresses as cold blue eyes stared out at the rooftops in the late afternoon horizon, the blue sky now painted with hints of yellow and orange as clouds began their cover. There was a slight bite to the wind as it licked his flesh, coaxing the goosebumps to show themselves at the icy touch. Winter was coming once again, and Cloud despised it.

Slowly, the young man rose to his feet from his sitting position on the rooftop of the new apartment building he now resided in. The black sleeveless zippered shirt hugged his torso softly, the black long-sleeved undershirt's sleeves resting against his skin as the wind blew past again, flattening the front of his black cargo pants against his shapely legs. He felt numb as he walked through the rooftop door and down the passageways back into his living quarters.

When he slid through the front door, he peered around at his surroundings with those blank Mako blue eyes. New apartment, new environment. The front door opened into a small living room with three windows lined up on the far wall, covered with white mini-blinds. A dark blue couch with a matching love seat, sat in front of the middle window with two side-tables, a thin oak coffee table in front of it. A door stood to the left of the couch, while on the right of the room held a small card table serving as a dining table with two metal folding chairs and an open doorway that held the kitchen. Beside the doorway, a gaping hallway peered out in the shadows as nimble fingers found the light switch.

Cloud sighed heavily as the smell of sandalwood and leather filled his nostrils, closing the dark green door behind him. Sliding his shoes off, he padded his way over to the yellow linoleum kitchen and opened the off-white door to the refrigerator, peering at the lack of contents inside. I need to get food, he thought bitterly as he shut the door again, blue eyes looking around at the dark brown cabinets. An unlatching door stood to his left that lead to the hallway with the bathroom, laundry room, and spare bedroom. Shaking his head slightly, he walked back into the front room and stared down at the denim shaded carpet underneath his socked feet. In the distance, he could hear the faint sound of music.

Quickly, he moved towards the door by the couch and opened the dark wood to reveal the bedroom with its dark carpeting and almost white walls. Shifting to the oak nightstand that stood on the far side of the room next to the queen-sized bed, blue eyes fell on a small cellphone with its display screen flashing in time with the music that played, words screaming "All my complaints shrink to nothing, I'm ashamed of all my somethings." A hand grabbed the phone and flipped it open, "Hey, Reno." His cool voice seemed to fall flat in the bare surroundings of his room.

"Yo! Was hopin' I'd catch ya again, Cloudie-boy. Whatcha up to?" Slowly, he sat down on his bed and rested his elbows on his knees, looking ahead of him at the crimson cushioned window seat.

"I was about to go food shopping," he said with no enthusiasm in his voice.

"Oh, good. Glad you're gettin' out of the house now, yo. Me an' Rude were worried about ya." Lies, that dark voice spoke up in the back of his mind and he pushed it away easily. He seemed to be able to do it more and more often these days.

"I'm fine," he said flatly, as if to drop the subject. "You still comin' out with us tonight, yo?"

Cloud blinked a few times, trying to remember where he was supposed to be going. Oh, right. The Turks wanted to take him out for a drink or two, despite the fact that Cloud didn't—well, shouldn't consume alcohol. Well, might as well pick up a new hobby.

"Yeah," the blond said as he rose to his feet again. "I'll call you later, Reno." Closing his phone before the red-head could reply, he closed his eyes slowly as he tried to push the pain he felt in his chest. It's been three years, he thought as he looked towards a frame that sat on his nightstand next to the lamp. Seeing the raven-haired man that posed stoically, staring straight at the camera with his crimson eyes and pallid face. Red headband in place on his face, red cape billowing behind him as he leaned against the large oak with his shoulder.

Reminisce befell the blond, the pain not hiding itself anymore in his chest and he furrowed his brow slightly. Hands instinctively wrapped around wrists, almost as if they were hiding what lay underneath their touch. I love you, those words with that voice echoed through his mind and he shook his head roughly, pushing the thoughts away. "I've lasted this long on my own," his dark voice said to no one, "I can make it a little longer." Walking out to the front room, he slid his shoes back on while pocketing his phone. Grabbing his leather jacket, gloves, and keys, he took one longing look behind him to the living room before heading out of the door and locking it.

oOo

An hour passed until he walked back into the lone apartment once again, a few plastic bags hanging out of his hands filled with groceries. Closing the door with his foot, he walked into the makeshift kitchen and put things away slowly in cabinets and in the refrigerator. The familiar feeling of being watched ran down his spine, making the blond stand upright from his bent over position in the cooler, looking around the doorway and into the living room. No one was there and he furrowed his eyebrows, clearly confused. Shaking his head, he dismissed it as being in his head and he finished putting everything away before sliding his boots off of his feet and placing them next to the door.

Setting the leather jacket on the back of his chair, gloves on the table along with the keys to his bike, Cloud sighed softly as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the display screen out of habit. Why do I bother waiting for him to call? Placing his phone on the table, he sat down at the small card table with a 'huff' before closing his blue eyes while resting his forehead on his arms that crossed lazily over the table top. He felt so small in the barely furnished apartment, so alone. But yes, he really was alone, wasn't he? He'd been that way for three years now, and you'd think he'd be perfectly fine. The blond felt the familiar feeling of tears prickling behind his eyelids and he shook his head against his arms. No, he thought defiantly, I won't do this anymore.

Slowly, he brought his head up and gazed out of the windows across the room to see that it was dark outside. Rising to his feet, he flipped his phone open and dialed a familiar number and held it to his ear. "Yo!" a voice cheered after the third ring when Cloud entered his bedroom.

"What bar are we going to?" his indifferent voice said lowly as he rummaged through a dresser drawer.

"Clubbin', yo! Leather is a must, Cloudie-boy. So, bring it on!" With a grunt of reply, he closed his phone. He didn't hate the Turk, but his heart told him enough was enough and made him pull away.

I don't think that's the whole reason, that voice spoke up once more, almost teasingly with a chill that made the blond shudder while holding a black cloth in his hands. You're just worthless and useless, aren't you? Shaking his head, he pushed the voice back again. God, how that voice seemed to pop up more often now. Opening another drawer, he slid out black leather pants and sighed with annoyance. Just why did Reno insist on leather? Oh, that red-head owed him big time for this.

Ten minutes later, Cloud found himself tying up his normal riding boots that hid underneath flared boot-cut leather pants that hugged his now shapely thighs and taut backside. Straightening up, he adjusted the skin-tight button up silk black shirt that seemed to change into hues of green and purple with the light, the long sleeves caressing his skin as they were rolled up artistically, black cloth bands on his wrists.

Walking into the bathroom, he quickly ran a brush through his hair before realizing that the wind would just play with it again and he rolled his eyes. Blue eyes looked at the reflection in the black and white tiled bathroom, the wooden framed mirror showing him just who he really was.

Cloud's own pallid face stared back at him, quite gorgeous really, with a slightly hardened jawline and those piercing clear blue eyes that seemed to spill the pain he felt inside. Blinking a few times, he took a deep breath and closed them once more. No, he wouldn't let Reno see behind those defenses that took months to create.

Opening his eyes once more, he stared back at his reflection to see the quiet glint in them that showed nothing was wrong. With an internal nod, the blond walked out to the front room, shutting lights off as he went. Sliding his leather jacket on, he glided the gloves over his hands and flexed his fingers habitually before taking his motorcycle keys and leaving, locking the front door behind him as he left.

0o0

Well, that's chapter one for ya! I know it's unclear, but that's how I wanted to write it...make you keep guessing! :snicker: