--
Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.
Henry Rollins
--
Serena is golden.
She is perfect, she is sunshine, she is stunning.
She has hair the color of gold and a body that belongs on a magazine.
But she is not Rosalie, and that makes all the difference.
--
He's been everywhere in the world anyone would want to go (only the dark, never the sunshine) and he could've spotted the blonde tourist at the dingy bar in Alaska from a mile away.
Even if she didn't stick out like a sore thumb with the clothes and the hair and the smile, he would've looked up at her thoughts, which don't ever seem to stop and are so bubbly that he just wants to laugh.
I bought Blair the silk headband and Chuck a new scarf and- oh.
Blue meets black and the world keeps moving.
She doesn't sing to him like Bella or bite at his soul like Rosalie but she is beautiful and she is golden and he's done this all before anyways.
--
"So what brings you to Alaska, of all places? I'd expect you to be roaming the Faubourg Saint-Honoré en Paris, n'est-ce pas?"
She flinches a little –I should be, but I'm not. I'm here and I'm helping and it matters- but steels her eyes and looks at him with a challenge that he finds refreshing.
"Finding myself. Being rebellious. Trying to be Angelina Jolie. Take your pick."
He smirks a crooked smile and her train of thought goes from what an asshole, who does he think he is to wow but she never stops thinking and she always keeps breathing.
"My guess is trying to be Angelina Jolie."
She grins, white teeth and pink gums, obviously pleased with herself.
"I guess you could call it that. I'm volunteering at the Athabaskan reservation. Helping with kids, teaching them to read and stuff, y'know?"
The word reservation hits him in the face like he's been slapped and the back of his eyes burn and burn and burn but they won't stop because there are no tears to be shed. Not in this forever, at least.
She tilts her head to the left and worry creases her perfect brow, while her hair cascades in waves. Her scent is beautiful too.
He smoothes his marble face and puts his airs back on.
"Got a boyfriend?"
He already knows the answer.
No. But there's this boy, Nate, and I think he's even more beautiful than you but he can't make up his mind and I think I love him but I can't-
"No."
"Good."
--
He spends his days with Tanya and his nights with Serena.
Alice calls frantic with worry after the first night, with warnings rolling off her tongue.
"Be careful, Edward. This one isn't yours. She's different than Be-"
The snarl rips through his throat before he can stop it.
"I know."
He remembers how Serena wasn't dazzled by him, not like her and his voice softens.
"I know, Alice."
--
One night, with a glass of merlot in one hand and a Snickers bar in the other, Serena tells him everything.
The bar is the same and the weather is the same but she is different and he patiently listens as she tells him everything that he already knew.
He nods in the rights places, always sides with her over anyone else, and finally discovers how much of a miracle she is. She's so happy and bubbly and bright after everything that's happened to her. The girl practically shines.
(That's what he tells her, then. Of course, he's known about it since she walked in the door.)
She smiles, and for the first time it's sad.
He tries not to hear her thoughts when he leans in to kiss her. He's had enough of broken hearts.
--
He doesn't stop kissing her until she hits the bed in his hotel room and he grips the headboard so hard it breaks.
There's shock and awe and fear in her eyes but she's always loved danger, he knows that much.
And looking from the headboard to the fragile human girl lying underneath him, the ghosts creep into his eyes and Serena watches it all.
The curiosity in her voice wins over her fears, and he feels thankful.
"What happened to you?"
--
He tells her everything.
She doesn't run away.
"Maybe we should put you on the cover of a romance novel with a puffy shirt undone to your belly button. I could call you Fabio!"
Her thoughts are tinted with fear but she smiles through it and he exhales a breath he's been holding for too long.
He's become entirely too fond of this girl.
--
After a long night of horror-filled bedtime stories, she sleeps and he watches.
She wears a golden Buddha around her neck that settles in the hollow; he watches it rise and fall while contemplating enlightenment.
Bella would fight him, yes you have a soul, you could be enlightened, you could be anything, you are everything.
Rosalie would mock him, choke out bitter words on such pretty lips, enlightenment, Edward, really? Don't you know we're already stuck in hell?
Serena simply looked at him with big blue eyes and shrugged.
"You don't even have to worry about it, so I don't know why you are."
He found that so funny he laughed until his ears were ringing.
She giggles, and kisses him to make him shut up.
--
Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl" comes on over the jukebox, and Serena gasps while practically leaping out of her seat. Edward laughs because he knows that Ted, the balding man sitting at the corner booth, picked the song out especially for her.
She dances around like an idiot and doesn't trip over her own two feet.
She sings along loudly, "Uptown girlllll, she's been living in her uptown world," laughing through it all.
Everyone's eyes in the bar are glued to her and she beckons with one finger toward pale skin and tousled hair.
He fakes a sigh, and smiles when he follows her out onto the dance floor.
He pulls her close and sings, "I think I'll try for an uptown girl," into her ear and ignores the occasional pang of the word Nate in her mind.
It's nice to be asked to dance instead of the other way around for once.
--
It ends as quickly as it started.
He is at their bar, waiting for her to walk in when a handsome stranger does instead.
The stranger is beautiful, even Edward knows that, and after a few seconds he finds out that this is Nate.
Serena walks in shortly afterwards, guilt and joy and disappointment and happiness and longing etched into her face and in her mind.
He hears his conversation with Alice again.
"Be careful, Edward. This one isn't yours. She's different…"
"I know."
"Edward, this is Nate. Nate, this is Edward."
Her voice hitches at the word Nate, excitement lighting up her eyes and- I'm so sorry, but this is Nate and he's here and he wants me. How could I say no to everything I've ever wanted?
Nate's suspicion takes over his mind, turning all his thoughts an unpleasant green and Edward can't blame him.
Still, he puts on his manners and runs a hand through his bronze hair casually to challenge even the best of Nate's 'bro' act.
"Nice to meet you. Serena's told me so much about you."
"Wish I could say the same."
Serena throws an elbow into Nate's torso, rolls her eyes, and mutters an apology. But Nate grabs her elbow and swings her down into a dramatic kiss.
This is what the girl deserves. A living and breathing beautiful boy who loves her. So Edward watches Serena walk out of the building with Nate's hand entwined in hers.
She blows him one last big, showy kiss and laughs all the way out the door.
The sun sets behind her and it looks like her hair is on fire.
She only looks back once.
--
Edward spends his days with Tanya and his nights by himself.
Tanya purrs into his ear every morning, arches underneath his touch, and moans appreciatively with every flick of his tongue.
But still, Edward goes off into the night alone.
He buys himself a golden Buddha and sets it on his nightstand.
And that is all he has left.
--
Serena is alive.
She is breathing, she is giggling, she is blushing.
She smells delicious and washes him in her scent with every toss of her hair.
But she is not Bella, and that makes all the difference.
AN: So I hoped you liked my first crossover/twilight fanfic. Everyone is matching up Edward and Blair this days in crossovers, and I thought that Serena and Edward would be so much more fun. Thanks to .britt for being there! Anyways please review and I hope you enjoyed it!