*Note: I don't know how the hell L and Light un/dress with the chain on. I tried to write it in, but just try to ignore physics for once.

Being chained to L wasn't as easy to deal with as I had thought. As the black haired detective sucked on his third lollipop that first morning, all I wanted to do was rip it out of his mouth and poke him in the eyes with it. Even though I tried to distract myself by focusing on my computer, I could still see L sucking the lollipop in the corner of my eye, making little noises. I couldn't be sure if he was sort of humming to himself, or making little noises of pleasure at the lollipop, but it sure as hell was annoying. My fists clenched on the key board. No, instead, I'd shove that stupid lollipop down his throat and make him choke on it. It had only been a few hours. How the hell was I supposed to last a day, let alone the amount of time it would take to convince L I wasn't Kira?
"Are you okay, Light? You seem a little frustrated," L commented, eyebrows raised. "You're not cracking under the pressure are you? Just confess you're Kira and get it over with." There we go again. "I'm not Kira!" I cried angrily, ready to launch myself at him.

I wish he'd stop saying it. I was sick of the whole Kira topic. I just wanted it to go away. The sooner I discovered who Kira was, the sooner all suspicion would leave me and I could carry on with my life...but trying to catch Kira was unbelievably difficult. Failing at this was making me irritable, and L was only rubbing it in further. What would he know? He hadn't come any closer to finding Kira, either.

"Watari, could I have some chocolate, please?" L called. How could he eat so much sugar and not get sick? I watched as the old man gave L a bar of chocolate, watching as L bit into it, savouring the taste in his mouth, before sucking on the lollipop again. "Would you like some chocolate too, Light-kun?" he asked me. "No," I grimaced, turning back to my computer. "Unlike you, eating too much junk food makes me sick. And fat." "I've never had that problem," L mused, tapping his lip with a finger. "Perhaps I should see a doctor. But then again, I've got no problem with enjoying a good chocolate and still being completely healthy."

"A good chocolate? You ate two bowls of ice cream for breakfast, you've been munching on lollipops, candy and chocolate all day. Don't forget those truffles you ate before. It's all you ever eat!"
"Are you jealous, Light-kun?" he asked me, a smile twisting his lips. I grimaced and turned back to the computer. What was I supposed to be jealous about? L was a freak of nature. A brain that lived on sugar. I eyed the cup of tea he'd had earlier. I'd lost count after he'd put in the sixth sugar cube. I pondered briefly if all the sugar he ate made him taste sweet. As soon as the thought entered my mind, I dismissed it with horror. Ugh. How could I even think that? It was getting stuffy in here, I could use some fresh air and clear my head. This place was driving me crazy.

"I'm tired of being stuck in this place," I complained. "I want to go out and get some fresh air for once." "I'm working," L replied, typing something into his computer. I wished he was playing solitaire or some other game on the computer instead of actually working, just so I had a reason to vent my frustration and yell at him. I stood up and tugged on the chain. "Too bad. I'm going for a walk." L's obsidian gaze turned to me. "I say we're saying here," he replied coolly. I yanked on the chain again. "Forget it!" I snapped. "I've been locked in this place for too long. If being chained to you was supposed to give me a little more freedom than before, I'd say it's worse. I'd rather be in solitary confinement again!"

Matsuda looked up from his files. He gave L a guilty look. "Maybe you should take him out, L. He's been trapped in here for ages." L's lips pursed tightly before he stood up. I began to walk to the elevator, but he tugged the chain back. "Not yet. I need supplies." "What? Like sunglasses and a black cape? What are you, a vampire?" I grimaced. Watari handed L a bag full of lollies, two bars of chocolate, a bag of chips and another lollipop. "Thank you, Watari," L bid the old man, shoving the food into his pockets and opening the chips. He turned to me. "Alright, I'm ready to go."
I rolled my eyes and led him to the elevator. As we travelled down, he leaned apathetically against the wall, eating the chips. "What's so good about the outside?" he asked me. "How about a breeze?" I suggested. "Or more important, the sun." "I would have thought you would prefer to stay inside and put every spare second into trying to catch Kira. Isn't that what you want, Light? To prove you aren't Kira?" "Kira isn't the easiest person to track down," I shrugged, glaring at my reflection in the door. L nodded, his own emotionless features rearranging into frustration. "I've been trying to find him from the start, and you're the closest I've gotten." "Well, you haven't gotten very far then," I scowled. "Besides, if I'm going to work at full capacity, I need to feel some sun, not artifical light. It's unhealthy to stay indoors so much." L merely averted his eyes, not even bothering to remark.

When the doors opened, I began a brisk pace, but L wanted to walk slowly. I yanked on the chain, knocking a chip out of his hand. His eyes narrowed at me. "Hurry up," I snapped. He gestured to our surroundings. "It's not going to all disappear any time soon," he pointed out. I forced myself to a slow walk, and we found a nice garden to walk through, filled with children playing and people generally enjoying the nice weather. I kept my hands stuffed into my pockets, but it didn't quite hide the fact I was chained to L. I ignored the stares and pointing, trying to make the most of the outing. L finished his chips and moved onto the bag of lollies. "You should take off your shoes," he suggested. "The grass feels nice." "For all I know, there could be a hypodermic needle on the ground. You should wear shoes more often." "You don't know what you're missing out on," L murmured, offering me a lolly. Reluctantly, I took one.
The air felt wonderful on my skin, the sun warming me. I noticed how pale L really was, his skin nearly glowing. His hair shone in the light. He was quite attractive, especially in the light of the sun, surrounded by grass and trees, so how could he not enjoy the outside? My thoughts caught up to me, and I berated myself. How could I be thinking of L as attractive? What the hell was wrong with me? I tore my eyes away from him and tried to relax.

"I'm tired," L told me after a while. "I want to go back." "No way," I replied, wrinkling my nose at the idea of having to go back to Headquarters so soon. "If you're tired, we can have a rest." I led him to a shady tree and we sat underneath it. Under my fingers, the grass was soft and silky. It would probably feel good between my toes, but I didn't want to try it and prove L right.

L offered me more lollies and I absently ate them, trying to think about anything other than Kira. A girl jogged past, and I watched her, reminded of Misa. I stifled a groan. My self-proclaimed girlfriend. I played along, only to keep her happy. "She's not that pretty," L murmured. I jumped in shock, having momentarily forgotten he was beside me. "What?" I managed. He gestured to the girl I'd just been watching. "Her. She's not that pretty." "Oh. I don't know," I shrugged, not really caring. His eyebrows drew together minutely. "What about Misa?" "She's so possessive," I chuckled, "but she's adorable." L seemed to think about this before he unwrapped the lollipop, putting it to his lips. I gave him a curious look. "What about you, L? Have you got a girlfriend?"

Perhaps I didn't really need to ask. Sure, he was attractive, in an odd way, but his pale skin only proved he didn't get out much. But hey, there was the internet. Maybe he had a girlfriend online? Looking at L, I didn't really think so. He didn't strike me as the kind of person to be in any kind of a relationship.

"A girlfriend? No," L shrugged. "I have never had a girlfriend." "Oh. I guess you spend so much time working..." I trailed off, not wanting to embarrass him. Later on, if he annoyed me, it would make excellent ammunition. L simply shrugged again, eyes apathetic. He sucked on the lollipop, stirring a tight feeling within me. I quickly looked away, trying to ignore it. I swallowed the small lump in my throat, not even daring to wonder what was wrong with me.
"Do you want some?" L asked. I turned to see him offering the lollipop. I shook my head quickly and lay back, closing my eyes. There. With my eyes shut, nothing could capture my attention.

"Light, can we go back now?"
I groaned. "No."

"Do you recall what I said to you in the elevator? Wouldn't you want to clear your name? Your lack of effort into not wanting to find Kira only makes you more suspicious."

"Can we just forget Kira for a while?" I asked, scowling with my eyes still shut tight. "I'm taking all I can bear."

"Light?" His voice was slightly strained.

"What?"

"Get up."
"Why?" I asked, opening my eyes. L was staring at something across the park. "Look! Hotdogs!"

I spotted a street vendor and groaned. L got to his feet and tugged on the chain. "We have to go get one. Get up." "Why?" I asked, closing my eyes again and trying to stifle a grin. He nudged me with his foot. "I'm hungry. I want a hotdog. Get up, now."

"I don't think so," I teased, resting my head on my arms. "I'd rather stay here. Maybe if you call out, the hotdog man will come over here."

"Hey! Hey! You!" My eyes flew open in surprise. L was actually shouting at the vendor. I'd meant it as a joke, to embarrass him, yet he was not modest. "Yes! You! I want a hotdog!" L called. I sat up, wondering if L was going to start jumping up and down in excitement, too. The vendor took his cart and brought it over, giving L a hotdog. L turned to me. "Can I have some money, please?" he asked innocently. I groaned and reached into my pocket, pulling out my wallet. "You owe me," I told him, handing him some money. How could someone as rich as L require money? He paid for the hotdog, passing me back the change, then dug into his pockets, pulling out a handful of sachets containing sugar. I groaned. Expect him to be prepared. L then added pieces of his chocolate to the hotdog before eagerly eating it.

"Alright, let's go back," I sighed, getting off the ground. He was the one to trail behind, eating his hotdog. Even though he seemed emotionless, I could see in the set of his eyes he was happy, as well as from the small noises he made as he ate. What a weird guy. When we got back to Headquarters, I got back to work, but L sat on his chair, finishing off his meal.
"How was your trip?" Matsuda asked, bringing over some reports. "Light bought me a hotdog," L told him, taking the last bite. I could hardly believe my eyes when he reached for the rest of his chocolate bar. I groaned and buried myself in work.

When my father arrived, I could see his disapproval of the chain. I was grateful to him, always standing up for me, believing me. Unlike L. It was annoying when L had to use the bathroom. I had to put down my work and follow him, standing there, waiting. I had to stifle a grin when L began to whistle as he undid his fly. He washed his hands twice and I splashed water on my face before leading him back to the computers.

Over a lunch of marshmallows and fruit dipped in chocolate, L challenged me to a game of chess. I ate only the fruit, not bothering to dip it in the chocolate, frowning. L made no facial expressions as we played. It was one of the hardest games I'd ever had to play. In the end, I won, but L didn't react to my gloating, which made me feel stupid. After the game, we went back to work, but nothing new came up.

It became late, and I struggled to keep my head up. L was still as alert as ever, eyes trained on the screen of his computer. "L, I want to go to bed," I complained. His lips twitched, but otherwise gave no other indication he'd heard me. "L," I pressed. "I'm tired." L gave a sigh and turned his eyes to me. "Tired? There is still much work to be done. How can you sleep at a time like this, when Kira is still active?" "Easy," I growled. I got up and tugged on the chain. He grimaced, very unlike him, and scooped up papers and his laptop. "Alright," he told me, voice hard. I gave him a sceptical look. "You're not bringing that to bed, too, are you?" "Of course I am. I'm not tired. If you wish to sleep, that is your choice." "Whatever," I grumbled, entering L's bedroom. It was unfurnished, the large bed plain with white sheets. My bag of things was in the corner where Watari had put it. Knowing L, I'd be chained up for a few months, so I wondered if I could convince L to empty one of the drawers of his things so I could keep my clothes in it. Probably not.

I spotted a door, and entered it, relieved at having discovered a shower. "Can't you have one in the morning?" L asked, reluctantly being tugged behind me. "No," I snapped. He turned and put his things on the bed, retrieved one set of papers before following me back into the bathroom. He opened a cupboard and threw me a towel, before sitting down on the tiles, beginning to read the document. I felt uncomfortable undressing in front of him, despite the fact he wasn't paying any attention to me. I stepped into the shower, turning on the water. I let out a sigh as the spray hit my face, soaking me. I found the soap and began to lather myself, feeling much better.

"You're getting water on me," L complained. "Have a cry," I replied, uncaring, washing my chest. L didn't reply. I wondered if he was going to have a shower, imagining him taking off his clothes. I caught myself, before my thoughts could go any further. What the hell was I thinking? L? I'd been thinking like this all day. I glanced at the chain, wondering if there was some way that it could be influencing me. I was looking for any excuse, no matter how far fetched, to explain why I was thinking of L in ways I shouldn't have been.

I turned off the water and reached for the towel, drying myself before wrapping it around my waist. I stepped out of the shower and spotted L taking off his shirt. My eyes drank in the sight of the bare skin of his back, before his eyes caught me in the mirror. I quickly looked away, forcing myself to act normal. "There's some interesting things in that paper," L commented, pointing to it on the floor. I picked it up and flicked through the pages, examining figures. I found one particularly odd calculation, and looked up at L to ask him about it, instantly flushing. He was pulling down his jeans, revealing no underwear. I cleared my throat. "Ah, L, are you sure this is right?" I asked, looking straight at his face. His eyebrows drew together slightly as he bent down beside me to read over my shoulder. "I didn't think so before, but I did the sums. Twenty-three hours, not twenty-four like I expected," he explained, before getting into the shower. I shut my eyes and leaned against the wall. Aliens, maybe? Or maybe it was Kira. He could manipulate the actions before death, right? So, Kira made me attracted to L before killing me off. Any excuse. I didn't want to admit the truth.

I heard L give a strange chuckle, and I gave a guilty start. "What is it?" I asked. "Nothing," he replied. "Just an errant thought. Irrelevant."

He spent forever in the shower, and it annoyed me further, I'd already been angry at myself. "Will you hurry up?" I complained. L turned off the water. "Can you hand me a towel, please?" he asked. I got up to reach the cupboard, but the chain was too short. I tugged on it, and L stepped out of the shower to give me more chain. I got out a towel, and averted my eyes when I handed it to him. I could have sworn I heard him give a snort, but his expression was clear, and L didn't snort. I strode back into the bedroom and rummaged through my bag, pulling out some boxers and quickly changing into them. When I turned around, L had put on his own boxers. I collapsed gratefully onto the bed, and I saw L's eyes flash possessively. I grinned at him. "Nice bed."
"Move over," he demanded, reaching for his work. I scooted over and he sat up beside me, turning on the laptop. I hoped I would be able to get to sleep with the clacking of the keys and the noise of the paper as L flicked through the documents he held. I lay quietly for a while, watching him work out of the corner of my eye. His hair was still wet and dripped onto his pale chest. I wanted to run my fingers along his skin, remove the droplets, but I quickly rid myself of these thoughts. I sighed inwardly and tried to get to sleep. It was hard, with L's knee touching me, his breathing filling my ears, but slowly, I managed.

I opened my eyes slowly, feeling refreshed. I felt very warm, in fact, quite comfortable. Then I realised why. L had his arm around me, one of his legs between mine. I could feel his chest on my back, the feel of his nipples, his slow breathing against my neck. I gave a cry of surprise and scrambled away, only meaning to sit up but falling off the bed, yanking the chain and waking L up. "Light?" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. I got up quickly. "C'mon, we've got work to do," I told him, ears red, trying to stay cool. L's eyes quickly reviewed the scene. "Did I push you out of the bed?" he asked. I nodded, pretending to be annoyed instead of extremely flustered. He shrugged and got up. We dressed, and headed downstairs. Watari was there, and had prepared breakfast. I ate cereal gratefully as L ate a bowl of chocolate pudding.

Matsuda arrived shortly, and began to talk to L about some research he'd done. I watched them talk, something bothering me. There was something about Matsuda I hadn't noticed before. It was the way he held himself in front of L, the way he moved. As I watched the way Matsuda giggled, L smiling slightly, I realised what it was. Matsuda fancied L!

My mouth nearly flew open with the shock. It wasn't obvious, quite subtle, but it made perfect sense. I stared at my computer, unseeing. Matsuda liked L. He liked the detective. Annoying, perfect, smart, frustrating, odd L. I snuck a glance at L, wondering what L thought. The detective seemed oblivious, but then that was part of L's charm. He had an excellent poker face.

I bit my lip. I had to do something. Maybe I could confront Matsuda. No, not with the chain connecting me to L. Or maybe I could embarrass Matsuda in front of L. Wait! Why would I even want to do such a thing? Why was I even thinking about trying to make a fool of Matsuda? Why did I even care? I bit my lip harder. Was it because of...what I'd been scolding myself for? Because...I liked L too? I blushed, just thinking about it.

"Are you feeling okay?" L asked me. "Your cheeks just went red." "I'm fine," I told him quickly, scared of giving myself away. "It's just hot in here." L simply shrugged and turned back to Matsuda. I felt a pang of jealousy. What was I going to do? No, what was I thinking? I didn't need to do anything. I shouldn't like L. That was just stupid. I was supposed to hate him. I did, in the way that he was annoying, but I couldn't help but find myself attracted to him. I bit back a groan.

I was quiet for the rest of the day, trying to come to terms with how I felt. I would have to say something. Wouldn't I? It took a lot of effort not to turn a bright red when L had to follow me to the toilet. "You're very quiet today," L commented. "Am I?" I replied, throat tight. "Yes, you haven't complained once today," he continued. "Matsuda even mentioned how odd it was." My head jerked up at the name. "Matsuda?" "Mmmn."

"You haven't...noticed that...Matsuda likes you?"

"Excuse me?" L asked, unconcerned. "Matsuda," I told him. "He likes you."
"Unlike you," L sighed. "A lot of people like me, Light. Though your father is another matter. He respects me, but dislikes me strongly. I am fortunate for the friends I do have, of which I can count on one hand."

"No...I meant, he really likes you," I told him, glad he couldn't see my face. I felt relieved and guilty at the same time. "Can't you tell?"
"Oh, really?" L replied, still sounding a little bored. "What should I do?"

"I don't know," I said with a fake snort. Ditch him. Come to me, instead. I zipped up my fly and flushed the toilet. As I washed my hands, I noticed L watching me closely in the mirror. "Tell me, Light. Does it matter to you, Matsuda's sexual preferences towards men?"

"Oh...Not really." Yes. I wish he'd stick to girls and leave you alone. So I can have you all for myself. L scratched his chin thoughtfully. Right. I had to scratch Matsuda's face off and knock him out of the competition. I wanted L for myself. But with L chained to me, I had no chance at getting away with anything. I would have to just have to put on my charm and hope L liked me more.

That night, I was a bundle of nerves, sleeping next to the man I liked. He seemed oblivious, absorbed in his laptop. Like last night, it took me a while to get to sleep.

I didn't open my eyes. What had woken me? There it was again. That sound, that hiss of breath. I listened closely. A tiny, muffled whimper...a soft sigh...a muffled moan, as if the person was biting a pillow. The only person it could be was L. I slowly opened my eyes, waiting for them to adjust in the dark. I could see the outline of L beside me, oddly shaking, arm moving slowly and rythmetically. "...Light..." he whimpered into the pillow. I stiffened. How did he know I was awake? His back was turned to me. Then it dawned on me. He was masturbating! He was thinking of me! I nearly gasped in shock, then almost giggled. I bit my pillow like he did, trying to muffle the noises that escaped my throat, nearly choking on a laugh. "...Light..." L sighed softly. I grinned into the darkness. "Yes, L?" I asked, amusement obvious in my voice. He froze, sucking in a breath.

"Was there something you wanted?" I pressed. "No," L murmured. "I thought you were asleep." "I was," I smirked. "But there was these weird noises that woke me up. You wouldn't have happened to hear them?" "No, I'm afraid not," L replied shortly. I bit back a grin. "You didn't? It sounded a lot like you. Anyway, get up. I want a shower." I would have to turn on the light in the bathroom, and he would be revealed. L slowly got up and I led him to the bathroom, flipping on the light. He turned away. I tugged hard on the chain, forcing him to jerk back. I laughed, seeing his erection pressing through his boxers. He turned his large eyes to me. "Is there something funny, Light Yagami?" "No, no, just an erratic thought," I teased, before a real thought came crashing down on me. I couldn't just say I didn't want a shower any more. It was late, and he hadn't even complained when I said I wanted a shower. To have a shower, I had to undress...in front of him...when he'd just been jerking off while saying my name. Darn it.
"I've changed my mind," I told him quickly. "I'll have a shower later. I'm tired."

"No. You got me out of bed, now hurry up."

I eyed his body hungrily. Why was I so nervous? I wanted this. "Fine." I took off my boxers in front of him and stepped into the shower, turning on the water. L stepped in after me, and pulled me to him, bringing his lips to mine forcefully. I kissed him back eagerly, running my fingers along his skin. His erection pressed through his boxers to my thigh, and I felt my own stirring. He cupped my cheeks with his hands, and looked deeply into my eyes. "Light...are you really sure?"

I kissed his hand in reply. "Tell me you want me," I whispered against his lips. L's large eyes were worlds that I could lose myself in. "I want you," he murmured, running his tongue along my bottom lip. His hands found my rear and pulled me closer, grinding our hips together. "L," I gasped, grinning. He kissed me deeply. I was right. He tasted unbelievably sweet, the most delicious thing I had ever tasted. I simply couldn't get enough. The water still fell onto us.

"Do you remember when I said I never had a girlfriend?" L asked, kissing my neck hungrily, nipping the skin with his teeth. "I didn't say I hadn't had boyfriends before." He caressed my chest lightly, rubbing a nipple until I shivered, making it harden between his fingers. I gasped, hot pleasures pooling between my legs. Lightning raced down my spine at the smallest brush of his skin against mine. L kissed my throat, my collar bone, my abdomen, until he was on his knees. My breath was coming in quick pants, my hands tangled in his hair, urging him lower. He took me in his mouth, and I shuddered, falling back into the cold tiled wall as the hot wet tongue of his caressed me. "L..." I moaned. "Oh, L...."

He broke into a rhythm; drawing me in as far as he could, making me cry out. "...Hah...hah....Oh, L...Hah...hah...So...good...Hah...hah..." His hands pinned my hips against the wall so I couldn't thrust forward like I wanted to, it was a pleasurable torture. The world was spinning, and I was afraid I'd fall over. "More! More! More!" I cried. L complied, his fingers finding my entrance. I moaned happily, closing my eyes. He slipped in a finger, gently massaging, before adding another, all the while still ministrating the best oral sex I had ever received. He timed the movements of his fingers to that of his suckling, making me want to scream. Instead, I bit a finger, crying out into the falling water until I came. L swallowed my seed, then got to his feet and hugged me. I clutched onto him, nearly spent. "Thank you," I smiled, gasping for breath. I felt his throbbing member against my thigh, and I saw the restrained need in his eyes, the strain in his tight jaw. "L...I want you," I whispered. I was unsure, a little scared, but I knew he would be gentle and considerate. He kissed my forehead. "Are you sure?" he asked again. I nodded, and he turned off the water before scooping me into his arms and carrying me to the bed, both of us dripping wet. L rummaged through the bedside drawer before pulling out lubricant. I got into all fours, and then just left my rear in the air, resting my head on a pillow, wondering if I could go through with it. Would it hurt a lot? Would I bleed? L reached down and kissed my temple. "Just relax," he whispered. I nodded, trusting him, my heart racing. I was terrified, but I couldn't say no to him. I had to do this for him. I wouldn't forgive myself if I chickened out. I was curious as to how it would feel. Was it pleasurable?

I felt him move behind me, and he kissed my bottom, before nipping at the soft skin with his teeth. Two fingers, covered in the lube entered me, and I took in a deep breath as they massaged me like before. It was wonderful but I was still scared. Perhaps terrified was a more accurate word. L kissed my lower back. "Just relax, Light."

"Will it hurt?" I asked in a tiny voice. L was quiet for a minute. "That's just a part of it," he said finally. "Relax, Light. I'll go slow." I let him continue with his fingers, unconsciously drawing back to get them in deeper. Finally, his fingers retreated, and he kissed my back again. "Are you ready?" he asked. I wasn't sure. "Yes," I whispered. I felt him guide himself in, and I clenched fistfuls of the pillow, forcing myself to relax. His hands gripped my hips, and I gasped. It burned slightly as my skin stretched, but it was bearable. I felt full, in a pleasant way. L slowly withdrew, then plunged slowly back in. I breathed heavily, the slow pace hard to take after a few thrusts. "L...can you go...faster...?"
L began to do so, still being as gentle as he could, his breathing coming in quick pants. I began to forget to relax, it seemed unnecessary. I was enjoying it, feeling new kinds of pleasures. I urged L to go harder, and he did so. I winced against the pain, but I soon grew used to it, panting harder. "...Hah...Hah...Hah!" I moaned, meeting him on every thrust eagerly. "L! L! L!" I cried out.

He moaned passionately, fingers reaching down to stroke my limp but slightly firm member. We reached a peak together, and he cried out my name in his orgasm, his hot seed filling me. He shuddered, before pulling out of me and falling back onto the bed, gasping for breath. I crawled into his arms, and he clutched at me tightly, as if he'd never let go.

"L?" I asked tentatively, breathing hard. "Yes?" he replied, breathing slowing down. He gently began to caress my cheek. I bit my lip. Was it a mistake to give him my heart?

"I've been wanting to do that for a long time," L admitted. I gazed into his eyes, filled with wonder. "Really?" I asked, filled with disbelief. He nodded, a smile playing on his lips. He sat up with me, and hugged me, pulling me under the blankets with him. "Will you fall asleep with me?" he breathed in my ear. I kissed his throat and snuggled into his arms. "I want nothing more, L."

"Hmmm...."

"What is it?" I asked. L frowned down at me, a twinkle in his eye. "How am I supposed to tell Matsuda I'm taken?"

I woke up, aching. I felt fingers squeeze my nipple gently, making me gasp. L! I rolled quickly over to face him, unbelieving. Could last night really have happened? Was he really mine? L was smiling at me, and he brought his fingers to my neck to stroke it lovingly. "Good morning," he greeted me. I beamed in reply and kissed him hungrily. He pulled me on top of him, fingers at my entrance, rubbing in that wonderful, torturous way. I moaned, burying my face into his chest. I could feel the rumbling as he chuckled. L chuckling? It was amazing, such a wonderful sound.

My breathing became harsher to my own ears, and I took his nipple in my mouth, suckling gently. L arched up to me, his fingers rubbing harder. I smiled, wanting more. I released him and looked down at his lustful eyes. "L? I want you…inside me again," I blushed. He reached up to kiss me, hard and demanding. I kissed him hungrily back, bringing my hand down to stroke his member, wanting him now.
It was pure bliss when he rolled me onto my back and ravaged my skin, his tongue sucking, teeth nipping, nails raking my hot flesh. I wanted him so badly, it was like an itch only he could scratch. "Light," he murmured against my skin. I moaned, pulling him closer. "L," I pleaded, voice strained. "L, I want you."

L's eyes fixed on me, aware. They half-closed again with lust as he rolled onto his back, pulling me up onto him. He reached onto the bedside table for the lubricant and flicked it open with his thumb before applying it to his swollen and throbbing member. He finally grabbed my hips, positioning me over himself, then let me guide myself the rest of the way. Gingerly, I did so, gasping with satisfaction at the familiar burning and tearing, but the throbbing heat within me, full and delicious. I shifted forward, then back, working into a pattern which left me gasping for breath, cries tearing from my throat, filled with unexplainable unbelievable feelings. L pushed forward, sitting up to ravage my neck. I continued to ride him, hands hooked around his neck, eyes closed.

I reached my peak, exploding between us, feeling him release inside of me, his wild gasps filling my ears. "Oh, L," I moaned, slumping, resting on him. He fell back against the bed slowly, cradling me. He nuzzled the top of my head, panting before settling back to rest.

"L?" I asked after a while, running my fingers along his chest. He made a noise. "Have you ever been with a girl?" I asked. He pushed away the hair from my neck and stroked the skin softly. "No. I have felt no need to." "Oh." "Why do you ask? Wasn't I satisfactory enough for you?"

"No, you were perfect," I assured him hastily. "I just wondered."

"Well, in that case, now you know," he replied, apathetic. He continued to stroke my neck, occasionally twisting a strand of my hair around his finger. After a while, he stopped. "Light, you're going to have to get off of me. We've got to go and do some real work. Unless, being Kira, it was your plan to seduce me, therefore try and occupy as much time as possible to slow down the job…?"

"I am not Kira," I scowled, sitting up and pushing him away. I strode to the bathroom, disgruntled, face burning when I heard his quiet chuckle when the chain refused to let me lose him completely. How could he even think that I was Kira? I'd have to be a pretty dedicated Kira to make myself sleep with him. Couldn't he see how much I wanted him, despite my nerves? I'd never been penetrated by a guy before, let alone kissed one. It was too much in one night to be able to comprehend. We'd gone straight to fucking. And I liked it.

I washed my stomach, wishing I could erase every feeling he left me with. Would Matsuda be able to tell what I had done last night and this morning? If he could tell, would he care? Probably, I mused.

"What are you thinking about?" L asked, surprising me. I'd almost forgotten he was in the bathroom with me. He stepped into the shower, took the soap from my hands and proceeded to wash my back. I shrugged, leaning into his touch. "Just thinking about how you're the biggest jerk in the world." "You're going to have to wear a collared shirt today." "Huh?" "I rather left my mark on your neck." His fingers trailed gently along the skin there, making me want to groan and lean into him further.

"L?"
"Yes, Light?"

"You said last night…that you didn't know how to tell Matsuda you were taken…."

"I am not the kind of man to go and sleep with multiple men. Maybe in your case, boy. But I enjoyed our encounter and wish to repeat it…provided you wish to also. A purely physical relationship, mind you…."

I shrugged moodily, my heart racing. He enjoyed having sex with me? "I'm not a boy," I said instead, turning around to glare at him. He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. "That's entirely debatable," he teased, his fingers tracing the hairline leading between my legs. "You're very immature."

"So are you," I breathed heavily, unable to believe the way his simple touch had hot blood pooling in my belly yet again. "You're childish and you still owe me money."

L smiled and gave me the soap, putting his hands over my shoulders so he was almost pinning me to the wall. "Well, I won't argue with that," he murmured against my lips. I washed his chest, working slowly lower, listening to the sound of his breathing, his eyes closed, lips curved upwards.

"L, we have to get to work, remember?" I teased, wondering what would happen if I 'accidentally' dropped the soap. He raised a brow. "Hoping to prove you aren't Kira? That's a change."

I gave him a frosty look and shoved the soap in his hands. I rinsed myself quickly then stepped out of the shower, reaching for my towel. L wasn't too far behind, and I took his advice, putting on a collared shirt to hide the marks he'd littered on my neck. If worse came to worse, I could just say Misa came for a late night visit. I didn't think L would really care, after all, he only wanted a 'physical' relationship. I wasn't going to argue with that.

Matsuda, Father and two other detectives were already at Headquarters when we arrived. We behaved no differently, the chain a tool we could use to irritate the other. But there was one difference.
L sat at his computer, sucking on a lollipop. I almost wouldn't care, if he hadn't been gently caressing it with his tongue, making a rather suggestive show of it. I wanted to groan, rip my pants off and hit his head with a keyboard all at once. Instead, I slyly yanked on the chain, making his hand jerk and drop the candy. He gave me a disgruntled look, but I could see the glimmer of amusement there.

At lunch, I tucked into a healthy meal of rice and nicely cooked vegetables, watching with Matsuda as L ate a sponge cake dripping with cream and chocolate. It would have made anyone sick, yet L ate on, displaying his immunity to large doses of sugar. "How does he do it?" Matsuda asked me, eyes filled with awe. "He just keeps eating sugar."

"Hey, L, as a kid, did you ever just have a bowl full of sugar for breakfast and forget the cereal?" I teased. L looked up, face serious. "Yes." Matsuda and I exchanged looks. When we got back to work, I wondered if Matsuda was curious as to whether L tasted sweet. I hid a smirk. Yeah, he did, and wouldn't Matsuda be jealous if he knew that I had been given a taste!

I was impatient for the day to end, working thoroughly so L wouldn't accuse me of not doing my work because I was Kira. Stupid Kira. When Kira was caught, he'd have some answering to do for this suffering I was going under. But when Headquarters was empty, it appeared that L, like always, had no intention of stopping work. I sat disgruntled at my computer, half-heartedly working now. All day I'd been in anticipation of when we'd be alone together, and now, L didn't seem to be interested. I grit my teeth. There was no way I was letting L get away with this. I got up and spun L's chair around to face me before getting on my knees and hurriedly undoing his jeans.

"Light," he sighed, running his fingers through my hair. "You are so demanding."

"I know, and I'm demanding sex," I growled, pulling his pants down a little, gaining access to the thing I wanted most. I kissed his skin, watching him grow slightly. At first I thought he was going to say no and continue working, but then he sighed and leaned back, closing his eyes. I proceeded to suckle the tip of his member, swirling my tongue around it before taking him in a little further, then drawing back. I had no experience doing such a thing before, but I applied the knowledge I did know, giving him what I liked myself. He writhed beneath me, his hands pressing me closer. I had planned to stop before he came and sit back down at my computer, taunting him for the inattention he'd given me, but I couldn't stop. I wanted to taste him.

I drew him in as far as I could before gagging, and felt him bubbling at the surface, ready to meet his climax. He came, filling my mouth with his metallic spice, the hint of sweetness in the taste. A strange, new, delicious, addictive taste that was distinctively L.

I heard a whimper, and I looked up, grinning at L. He was looking across the room. It hadn't been his lips to utter the sound, but someone fleeing, tears in their eyes. Matsuda! L stood up and did up his pants before walking quickly over to the security centre of the room, turning on the microphone. "Matsuda, perhaps we should talk about this," he said softly into it, voice slightly tinged with urgency. Matsuda stopped running in the cameras, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. He looked so small and hurt. I gazed at L, who had no emotion on his face. "Please, Matsuda. Turn around and come back here. I owe you an explanation."

I watched as Matsuda hesitated, then slowly came back. I flushed, and sat in my seat, nervously neatening my hair. What was L going to say? L leaned against the security console as Matsuda entered timidly. I didn't turn around to watch him, instead, I used the reflection on the dark window. Matsuda stayed close to the door, wiping his eyes. L didn't comfort him as I expected, instead, he stayed by the console, arms folded naturally, obsidian eyes firm. "Matsuda, what you just witnessed was inappropriate and I apologise. I was unaware anyone was still in the building."

"I just came back to get some folders I forgot," Matsuda sniffed, trying to sound uncaring, but his voice wavered. L's lips twitched, out of which emotion I couldn't detect. "Matsuda, I know it is rude to ask you to keep this to yourself, but I'm asking you as a colleague, perhaps even a friend in the time I have come to know you. I understand if you refuse, but I would appreciate if you never mention this incident to anyone."
Matsuda was quiet for a while, then he spoke in something akin to a whisper. "Are you with him?"
I saw L's eyes flash to me before turning back to Matsuda. "No. Our relationship is purely work-related. This was an incident I should not have allowed. I knew better, and again, I apologise."

Matsuda nodded slowly, then he stumbled out, L letting him. I sighed and rested my forehead on the desk, feeling like a kid who just escaped punishment, but I also felt incredibly guilty. Poor Matsuda. What would it be like to come across the one you admire being pleasured by someone else? He probably felt miserable.

L returned to his work as if nothing had happened at all. I did so as well, trying to distract myself. Finally, I couldn't stand the silence. "L?" He turned his head to me, eyes still locked on his computer. "Can you say something? Please?" I asked, biting my lip. His eyes shifted to my face, trying to read my expression. "What would you like me to say, Light? I can recite some poetry if you like," he said sarcastically. His mood made me angry. "You weren't that nice to Matsuda. You could have at least given him a hug or something, he looked really upset. You realise he likes you right? So he's probably going to jump off a skyscraper now or something."

"Do you honestly care about Matsuda? Or are you just trying to mould me into someone who cares?" L snapped. "Matsuda saw something he should not have, and I regret it. Matsuda's personal feelings are of little importance."

I gritted my teeth. He regretted me making him moan and writhe beneath me? I turned off my computer and got to my feet, tugging the chain. "Get up. I'm going to bed," I growled. L glared at me. "I'm staying here. You can sleep on the floor." I tugged on the chain roughly. "Forget it," I snapped. He bared his teeth angrily as he got to his feet. I stared in surprise as he took the steps between us and sprung into me, wrapping his arms around me and pushing me to the floor. I hit the ground hard, L on top of me. He pressed his lips roughly to mine, hands pushing up my shirt. "I hate you," I scowled against his lips. He ravaged my neck, drawing a gasp from me, my fingers twisting in his hair, legs wrapping around him. "I hate you," I repeated, kissing his cheek, pulling him closer. L's lips moved hungrily along my jaw, down my neck, to my collarbone before he stilled. I kissed the top of his head to encourage him further, but he simply shut down, lying on me tiredly.

"Didn't we learn our lesson, Light? Only an hour ago Matsuda just left this building after witnessing our activities," he murmured, head resting on my chest. I stroked his head, relaxing. "You could have been nicer to him. You were pretty formal about it all."

"I already told you; Matsuda's personal feelings don't mean anything to me."
"Then what does?"

"I can think of a few people," L chuckled, hand tracing patterns along my stomach. "Me?" I asked, trying to refrain from sounding too hopeful. L raised his head to look at me properly. "Would you like me to care?" he asked carefully. I shrugged and looked away. Yes. I'd like it very much, but I wasn't going to embarrass myself and tell him that.

"Light, please look at me," he murmured. I turned my eyes to him, feeling very small. "Light, you are incredibly annoying, irritating and yet so thought-provoking and intelligent. I can't bring myself to feel any affection for Matsuda as his mind doesn't relate to mine. Yours, however, is so alike to mine…How can one genius not admire another? Light, I don't have the patience to care about people, but there are some that I am limitless with. It is up to you where you wish to be. I can't promise myself to someone without a promise in return."

I was silent, thinking about his words. Timidly, I stroked his cheek with a finger. "How much of a promise do you want? Eternal, for as long as we both shall live? Or something along the lines of 'let's just be friends' or 'friends that fuck'?"

"Well, for now, I think I can handle friends that fuck," he smiled. "Consider yourself lucky. Not many people can claim they know the great L, let alone are friends with him."
"Forget being friends, I've screwed him," I laughed. He laughed with me and helped pull me to my feet. "Let's just leave things and see where things take us," he suggested. I bit my lip hopefully. "Can we start off with some sex then?"

Over the next few days, I could see the strain on Matsuda. He knew the signs that L and I were still fucking around, the way we'd both 'accidentally' brush each other all the time, the stolen glances…I was sure Matsuda hadn't told anyone, but I was expecting him to any day now. It filled me with a nerves, the only time I wasn't engulfed in nervous wait was when I was in the throes of passion with L. In his arms was the only place I wanted to be, I wanted to never leave the places he took me during our love making. I never wanted his lips to leave my skin, never wanted to fall asleep afterward, never wanted to stop. He was the only thing I desired. I couldn't get enough of his sweet addictive taste.

One morning, in the shower trying to wash off the evidence of our most recent coupling, L wrapped his arms around me and murmured gently in my ear. "Light, you know as well as I do that one day Matsuda will tell someone. Why did you never tell your father?"

I leaned into him, wanting him to hold me tighter. "I never figured I'd ever…sleep with a guy. Let alone you, of all men. They were just feelings that I repressed. I never found many guys attractive, I didn't let myself think about it."

"Would you rather tell your father yourself, before Matsuda does?"
I sighed happily as he nibbled gently on my ear. "To be honest, I don't really care anymore. Father can't stop me from doing what I want." "What is it you want?" "Mmm…I've got quite a list," I teased. He kissed my temple. "We've got all day."

"Well…What I want…is you."

"You already have me."

I stroked the back of his hand, relishing his words. "Do I?" "Yes. Until I prove you're Kira, that is," he smirked in my ear. I kissed whatever skin of his I could reach. "Fine by me, because I'm not Kira." "I'm hoping you're not, too," he breathed, "as much as I want to finally catch him."

"L…Even if I was Kira…would it matter to you? Would you still care for me? Just a…just a little bit?"

"Is this a confession, Light-kun?" he smiled. I shook my head slowly. "No, just reassurances. I want to know how much you want me."

"I want you in a million different ways," he breathed, kissing my neck. I didn't respond. "What am I to you?" I whispered. He froze, then ran his fingers through my hair. "Do you want me to say that I love you?" he asked, voice scornful. I flushed, looking at the floor. "No," I lied. "We talked about it before, right? Friends that fuck? Am I a friend? Or a…boyfriend…?"

L's finger traced down my spine. "You want something official then?"
I gritted my teeth. "Just forget it." If he didn't love me, that was okay, I could pretend he did when we were entwined…yet it still hurt that he didn't love me the way I loved him. Of course, I wasn't sure how much I loved him. I'd grown terribly attached to him.

"Light-kun…I simply cannot ignore something like this that you have just brought up. I can see you've been thinking about this for a while now. Is it possible…that Kira has fallen for the great L?"

"You wish," I tried to snort, getting out of the shower. He pulled me back with the chain. "It's an entertaining idea," he smiled, as I slipped, falling into his arms. I grimaced. I was angry and upset, and with both emotions, tears usually sprang to my eyes. I looked up purposely into the shower to rid myself of them. L kissed my forehead. "Light…It's not in anyone's best interests for me to be infatuated with anyone. The same should go for you."

"I didn't say I loved you," I pointed out, the words cutting me.

"You didn't have to say it," he murmured, kissing the tip of my nose. I felt like such an idiot. I wanted to run from him, never see him again, yet the idea of never seeing him again frightened me. "We've got to work," I told him pointedly, pushing him away. His eyes seemed troubled. When we got to the computers, I made sure there was no way I could possibly work any better or harder. I threw myself into it, determined to find Kira and prove myself innocent so I wouldn't have to stay chained to L any longer. Everyone seemed to notice my determination, but L was the only one who knew why. He knew it was because I wanted to get away from him, because I was hurting from unrequited love. For being rejected.

I felt guilty, watching the way Light ignored breakfast, lunch and then dinner, buried in his work. He'd uncovered a lead that his father was now investigating, as much as I was glad we had something on Kira, a new breakthrough, I was disturbed to know that I also cursed Light's determination. I knew as well as he did that the moment he caught Kira he would be free of me. We would no longer be chained together, nor have any reason for further contact. Of course, with Light's increased attention to the job, it proved that he was not Kira. I was losing reasons to still remain with him, and I knew if Light wanted, he could point this out. The others would agree with him. This chain was something Light had agreed to. If he wanted to get rid of it, he would only have to gain the support of the others. Light's father would only be too happy to get an axe and cut off my arm if I lost the key in an attempt to keep Light with me.
There was no way to keep him. Light was going to go and I couldn't stop him…unless I admitted to myself that I loved him. There was no way I could do that. I couldn't…No….

Of course, Light filled my head, my dreams. He tasted like honey, smelled like it, his hair the same golden colour. My honey, I wanted to declare. The sweetest thing I had ever tasted.

I sucked on a teaspoon loaded with sugar. It was nowhere near as sweet as Light. My Light. My golden Light who tasted better than anything. Why couldn't I just tell him I loved him? No. He was Kira. I had no doubt about it. He was Kira, he just didn't know it, somehow he had forgotten…He was going to catch himself…unless he had created something to happen before he forgot…a trap, framing someone else….

Was there some way I could frame Light? Put more suspicion on him to make everyone agree with me that he should be chained up longer? It would have to be carefully planned, to ensure he wasn't charged with being Kira, just enough to make the others feel more comfortable with him being chained to me, and not enough for the others to want Light to be under stronger surveillance, like a cell, instead of chained to me. Now, how could I do it?

"Yagami-kun," I called to Light's father. He looked up, inquisitive. "I have some information here that makes me suspect that Kira could possibly be gay. I would make it…seventy-eight percent likely." Just like expected, I saw Matsuda's head jerk up, frowning, staring at Light. I wanted to smile, but I kept my expression plain. "Matsuda, you look as if you have something to say," I pointed out. Everyone looked at Matsuda, who reddened. "No," he said quickly, burying himself into his work. I saw Light glaring at me. "Evidence, huh? Where?"

"If you've noticed, Light-kun, ninety-seven percent of the victims have been men, isn't that evidence enough?" I smiled sweetly. He rolled his eyes, jaw tight, turning back to his computer. I had to provoke Matsuda further. He had to be the one to raise suspicion, if I did it, Light could accuse me of being unfair. "Matsuda, I rather forgot to ask, did you get those folders?" I called. He looked up. "What folders?" he asked nervously. "You said you had returned to get some folders that night," I prompted, thumb pressed to my lips. He flushed, again remembering all the details of that night. "Um…no," he admitted. "I forgot to grab them." "You went back here to get some folders then forgot them?" one of the detectives asked, amused. "How did you manage that?"

"I…I…" Matsuda gave me a helpless look. He was a poor liar anyway. "No reason," I said pointedly, pretending to be flustered. I saw the way Light's jaw was tensed, shaking slightly. I knew he was nervous.

These signs made Mogi curious, as well as Soichiro Yagami, but Light's father wasn't sure he wanted to know. "What is it?" Mogi asked at the same time as Aizawa. I shook my head, pressing my thumb tighter to my lips. "It's nothing," I assured them, arousing their curiosity further. I didn't care about my reputation, my sexual orientation was nothing important to me. Of course, I was willing to let Light interrupt and lie, to save his own ass, after all, he didn't want anyone to know, he knew what I was doing. He knew I didn't want him to go, or at least, perhaps he thought I was doing it to annoy him. I had to admit, annoying Light Yagami was on my list of top ten things to do in my spare time, the only drawback to it was that Light wouldn't sleep with me when I did.

"What night was it?" Mogi asked, a sly smile on his face. "Last week," Matsuda answered. Well, this wasn't what I expected. "What night?" Mogi pressed. "Wednesday," Matsuda told him, ears burning. Matsuda had no idea what Mogi wanted, yet I did. I wondered if I should stop him. The idea of deleting the videos had not occurred to me, I had completely forgotten about the cameras installed in this particular room, where Light had given me oral sex.

Mogi gave a laugh, leaping for the security console, bringing up Wednesday night's film, skipping to when everyone had left. Everyone's eyes were now on the screens presenting different angles of the night. The room was empty except for Light and I. Light was shooting me impatient looks as I worked. I knew what would happen next. Light got off of his chair, and spun mine around so I faced him, his face annoyed with a thrilled look of anticipation. He fell to his knees, undoing my jeans. Mogi had put on the sound, so my voice filled the room. "Light…You are so demanding."

"I know, and I'm demanding sex," Light replied, in a voice that dared me to argue. I watched as I leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes, running my fingers through his hair as he began to suck me.
I examined the faces of the people in the room. Matsuda was watching, eyes filled with memory, cheeks red, Mogi and Aizawa's mouths hanging open with shock and amusement. Soichiro Yagami's face was hard as he watched his son make love to a man he respected and detested. Finally, I turned to Light. He wasn't staring at the cameras, he was staring down at his lap, tears streaming down his face. I felt shame well up within me. Didn't he understand? I was doing this to make him stay with me. He'd wanted that this morning, hadn't he?

"I'm going to go home," Matsuda murmured, breaking the shocked silence. He gathered up his things and left, eyes filling with tears of embarressment. Soichiro went to the security console and deleted the video. "Light," he said hoarsely. "You're coming home."

"I'm afraid I cannot allow that," I answered coolly. "New evidence suggests that Kira is a homosexual, now that profile matches Light perfectly. I will not allow him out of my sight."

"Forget it, L!" Soichiro bellowed, pointing a finger at me. "I've put up with your bullshit for too long, and now I'm putting a stop to this! I'm not going to let you anywhere near my son!"

"I understand, Yagami-kun, but I'm afraid Light leaving Headquarters is out of the question. I'm positive the others would agree with me. Of course, did the thought of your son sleeping with me to take advantage of me ever cross your mind? He is Kira, it is impossible to deny. All we need is a confession, but I'm sure we will never get one. My theories may appear to be far-fetched to you, but I assure you, I have never been wrong before."
Soichiro glared at me. "I'll have him chained to me instead then! Or Matsuda! For fuck's sake, Aizawa or Mogi! Anyone but you!"

"I believe Light's opinion is important. Why don't we ask him who he'd prefer to be chained to?"

I was taking a chance here. If he loved me, he would choose me. He had to. Light's tears had stopped, and now his eyes were hard. "Anyone but you, L," he whispered.

My eyes widened, before they became empty. I kept my expression dead, not because I didn't want him to see the pain he caused me, but because that was how I felt. Dead. Empty. He didn't want me. So I had been right. I loved him more. Hadn't he understood me that day?

"Light, I don't have the patience to care about people, but there are some that I am limitless with. It is up to you where you wish to be. I can't promise myself to someone without a promise in return."

I'd been so scared of rejection. I hadn't thought it was too cryptic. I was simply telling him that if he promised to love me first, then I'd match it. He hadn't said it, so neither had I, and there was no way I was going to first. I couldn't say it, it was wrong. I wasn't supposed to love Kira. But I did.

I reached into my pocket and produced the key. I unlocked Light's wrist, then slumped in my chair moodily. Soichiro took his son by the shoulder and steered him out of the building, muttering something about Mogi. Mogi, Aizawa, Ukita and Sanami soon quietly left, Watari retreating to his kitchen. I had seriously miscalculated my plan. I had let desperation cloud my judgement, I had acted too soon, had not thought out my plan enough.
My thoughts turned bitter. Would Light fuck Mogi too? I closed my eyes, filled with pain. I let the chain dangle, not wanting to take it off. He was gone.

I lay in my own bed for the first time in ages. I had dreamed of home so many times, now that I was here, I wanted to be back at Headquarters with L, pretending nothing had happened. Oh, L. Why had he done that? I choked back a sob. I'd never been so ashamed and angry. I hated L to the bottom of my heart, I'd never felt so betrayed. How could he do that? Show everyone, my father of all people, my sexual nature? Something like that was private. It wouldn't have hurt like this had Matsuda revealed it, instead L had betrayed my trust, had provoked the easily manipulated Matsuda and played on everyone's curiousity, had displayed my act of shame on screen. My words echoed painfully in my head. "I know, and I'm demanding sex."

I had sounded like such a little whore. A slut. A cock-hungry little...I was sick with myself. I buried my face into my pillow even further, hot tears spilling from my eyes. I had never been so embaressed.