Warnings: Randomness and sexual reference.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Full Metal Alchemist or it's characters.

-Sexual Harassment Policy Overview, with Roy Mustang!

Roy looked around quickly nodding. Everyone was here, even Edward with a confused look upon his face.

"Okay everyone,, you all got a notice to be here today for a…um, presentation. I'm sure you are all wondering what this is all about so," He glanced around quickly. Even Riza looked confused. Roy was being uncharacteristically embarrassed.

"It's time for our annual Sexual Harassment Policy overview!" He said, a delighted smirk gracing his features. Havoc smack himself in the forehead, Hughes shook his head, Riza looked like she would fall over and Fuery looked flabbergasted. Edward looked like he was about to die from laughter.

"Uh, right," Roy moved turning on an old projector and dimming the lights. The film began, voiceless so he would read along."Ahem, Sexual Harassment is inexcusable. If you feel sexual harassment is happening to you, or your colleagues, you should inform your superior officer, me, immediately. Any questions?"They all raised their hands. Roy sighed, "Yes Um…Fuery?"
"Sir! I believe all the female officers have been s-sexually h-harassed!" He said, failing to stifle the laughter that then flooded through the room.

"Indeed they are, moving on! Sexual Harassment includes unwanted hugging or touching, discrimination due to sexual preference, or gender, sexual acts or requests or repeated threats. It can also include promises of promotion for sexual favours. Any real questions so far?" Again every hand went up. "Yes, Uhhh…..Hues?"

"Does showing pictures of my beautiful baby girl count?"
"Yes, yes it does now!" Roy said irritated.
"But she's sooo pretty! See, she just turned seven isn't she so perfect?" Maes Hughes had whipped out photo's of his daughter, promptly shoving them in everyone's face.

"Yes, moving on!" The other hands went down, "A person who finds themselves in an unwanted situation has the right to defend themselves using as much force as is necessary! This could include non-lethal and lethal force alike if necessary,"
"Colonel Mustang, does that mean I get to shoot you next time you tell me to wear a miniskirt and try to grab my ass?" Asked Riza.

"Uh, no, it doesn't Major Hawkeye," He said and she glared at him,
"Moving on!"
"Colonel?"
"Yes Edward?"
"Why are you giving the speech?"
"Because I'm your superior officer, it is my duty to ensure that I'm the only one sexually harassing anyone!"

Havoc rolled his eye's and raised his hand.
"Yes, Havoc?"
"Then…why are we here?"
"It's mandatory, don't worry when I become Fhurer I will make it so that we never attend this seminar again, and all female soldiers will wear miniskirts!"

Hawkeye shot past his head for the comment, the bullet cutting some of his hair.
"Why Hawkeye! I believe you just sexually harassed the colonel!" Someone shouted. Everyone laughed,
"Yeah! Let's sexually harass Mustang!" Edward shouted and everyone began advancing on him. Roy backed away slowly.
"Women okay, men no way!"
"But then it isn't sexual harassment Colonel Mustang!" Riza exclaimed cheerfully. Roy proceeded to run for his life.

And there it is! Sexual Harassment Seminar with Colonel Roy Mustang! Hope you liked it! Please review!