A/N: Finally, I give you, The Sequel! Enjoy :)
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She's shaking.
Her entire body is trembling, and she's sweating and there's this incredible pain in her chest, and she feels like she's going to be sick any second now.
She takes a deep breath and tries to calm her nerves, but it somehow makes her feel even worse, every breath she takes like ice in her throat.
She's an idiot.
A stupid, selfish, hypocritical idiot.
There is no other word for it.
"It was just sex, Lily. Nothing more."
Her own words being thrown back at her.
She can't breathe, and the lump is back in her throat and she shudders, wrapping her arms around herself and rocking back and forth.
A pathetic sob escapes her mouth.
The tears finally come.
-&-
He doesn't show up for breakfast the next day, and she's grateful for it. She doesn't think she can face the music this soon.
His friends are sitting a few seats down, and Sirius keeps glancing down at her, with a sort of apologetic look in his eyes.
She thinks he should be apologizing, seeing as this whole idea was his idea in the first place.
She gulps down her pumpkin juice, feeling her dry throat burn and the liquid icy in her chest.
She was pathetic.
She can't believe she let herself get so involved with him.
Alice is sitting across from her, respecting her silence, only glancing worriedly at her from time to time, and mutely coaxing her into eating her toast by pushing her plate towards her.
She's not hungry. Her stomach is heavy and she feels nauseous.
She excuses herself and leaves the table.
-&-
She's the first one to arrive to Potions and the cold damp air in the dungeons feels good on her heated skin and flushed face.
She takes a seat in the middle of the room and presses her palms to her eyes, blue and yellow spots quickly blotting her vision.
She hears the door open, and steps halt in the doorway.
She doesn't have to look up to see who it is.
His presence is so thick in the room it's almost tangible.
Then the steps pick up again and slowly fade out.
She looks up to see his retreating back in the doorway.
She takes in a shaky sigh, tears burning her eyes again.
Students start to fill in soon enough, with the exception of him, and she finds herself without a partner. Slughorn tuts and tells her she can work by herself for today, and she's happy about that because she doesn't think she can stand anyone's company.
The door of the class suddenly opens again, a couple of minutes after the class started, and she feels her heart drop in her stomach.
Slughorn grins jubilantly and tells her she doesn't have to work by herself after all.
Potter would be glad to help.
-&-
It was horrible.
The most horrible two hours of her life.
The most awkward, uncomfortable, silent two hours of her life.
He had spoken four words to her:
Sorry. Excuse me. Bye.
And not one other syllable.
He had accidently bumped into her hand while adding ingredients to the potion and their eyes had locked for half a millisecond, and it was the most horrific millisecond in her life, because her palms were sweaty and her hair was frizzy and she was a second away from bursting out in tears.
When the bell rang announcing the end of the period, he was out of his seat faster than she could say 'sorry', with a quick 'bye' thrown at her back, and she had dawdled behind, waiting for everyone to fill out before slipping out of class and joining Alice in front of the Charms classroom.
She avoids her eyes throughout the entire period and she could practically feel annoyance and curiosity radiating from her.
She doesn't tell her a thing and she doesn't know why.
-&-
He's staring at her.
She's shaking and avoiding his gaze, trying desperately to focus on her homework, in vain.
Why is he staring at her?
He hasn't spoken a word to her since Potions, and that was two weeks ago.
So why is he staring at her?
"He's staring at you, again," Alice helpfully points out and she huffs, pulling her bangs behind her ears and rubbing tiredly at her eyes.
"Thank you for the obvious observation," She sighs, staring at the empty parchment in her lap.
"Do you want me to tell him to stop?" Alice asks, humor placidly obvious in her voice.
She shakes her head.
"Tell him to drop dead."
-&-
She usually loves studying in the Library on Saturday.
Usually, it would be empty, because every normal student would be spending their afternoons lounging by the lake or the Commons.
It's not empty today.
He's following her, she's sure of it.
He's sitting right across the room from her, not even opening his book as a pretext.
She laughs inwardly, yet tries to maintain a calm apathetic demeanor on the outside, while she's screaming and shaking and crying on the inside.
She wishes she could say she hates him.
She tries to focus on the book in front of her and rereads the same line for the fourteenth time in two minutes, when a paper airplane suddenly lands on her table.
She spares a glance at him, and sees him writing something on a parchment in front of him.
Two words are written on the paper, and she feels her heart constrict painfully when she reads it, and her mouth is parched and her fingers are numb.
I'm sorry.
She looks up to his table.
He was gone.
-&-
(A/N: you have no idea how tempted I am to just end this story right here, but I'm pretty sure you guys will throw rotten tomatoes at me if I don't give you the ending you're craving.
So I'm giving you a choice: if you're not satisfied with this ending, well, then keep on reading. If you are, stop reading here (which I'm sure you won't, either way). )
-&-
She takes a deep breath and stares intently at the wooden door in front of her, as if it might combust just by her staring at it.
Her heart is beating a thousand times faster and she has a hard time trying to keep breathing.
Her hand is on the knob but she can't seem to get herself to turn it.
She closes her eyes tightly, takes several harsh breaths and slips quietly inside the room.
It hasn't changed one bit since she's last been here, three weeks ago.
It seems like it's been a decade.
She automatically walks towards his bed, to find his form visible under the blankets.
He's sleeping, and it takes an immense amount of will power for her not to slip next to him and cuddle up against him.
"James, wake up," She whispers, shaking him slightly, and she's surprised by how quickly he does.
"Lily," He croaks, squinting his eyes at her. "What –what are you doing here?" He asks, putting on his glasses and sitting up straight.
She takes a shaky breath. "Sirius said you would be alone tonight," She states and he blinks groggily.
He licks his lips and stares and stares and stares and she can't look away from him.
"I'm sorry," He whispers, brushing his fingers against hers. She looks down at their hands and he slowly links them together, and she's hoping he doesn't feel how sweaty her palms are.
"I don't – I don't know why…" He mutters, pulling her against him and running a hand through her hair and brushing his nose against her, and she feels like her heart is going to explode. "I was such an idiot, I don't know why I did this to you, I can't-" He's panting and his lips are pressing against hers and he's speaking into her mouth, nonsense to her ears, and she's trembling and kissing him back, climbing into his lap and wrapping her arms around him. "I can't believe how stupid—" She keeps cutting him off and she doesn't care what he has to say anymore, she just wants to feel him, touch him, kiss him.
Her hands are on his face and his are in her hair and her breaths are coming out in small gasps against his skin, and his smell, oh my god, his smell, it's filling her nose and rendering her hopeless.
His fingers are dancing down her back, kneading her mound and pressing her against his erection, and the friction is sending chills down her spine, and Merlin does she need him.
"I've missed you," He whispers in her ear, before nipping at it and she shudders, moaning deep in her throat, her hands tugging at his shirt, pressing him closer to her, and she feels like he's still too far away.
It somehow feels like the end, when he rids her of her undergarments and his body is suddenly so close and heavy and suffocating, and she feels like she's drowning in fire.
"I've missed you," He whispers again, this time against her lips, the slow torturous movements of his hips against hers causing her to gasp in response. "So much…"
She feels a sob in her throat and when he kisses her again, deeply and languidly, she feels the world closing up on her and that same suffocating feeling takes hold of her, and she thinks, it will always be him.
-&-
-fin-
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A/N: I really, really preferred the 1st ending, but well, I guess it's all about pleasing the public. I hope you guys liked this chapter better than the one before it, because I surely did. Let me know your thoughts, please.
Also, I was thinking of writing this story from James' point of view, just so you guys would know exactly what was going through his head. So leave me your opinions on that as well :)