CATEGORY: Missing scene for Window of Opportunity. Humor.

SPOILERS: Window of Opportunity

SEASON / SEQUEL: 4

RATING: G / K

CONTENT WARNINGS: none

SUMMARY: Teal'c takes a loop off.

ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, Stargatefan. Chez Corine. .

DISCLAIMER: This story is written entirely for entertainment and is not intended as an infringement against the copy written material that belongs solely to Showtime, MGM/UA, Gekko Films, et al. I'm only playing with their characters and will return them as soon as the story is finished. The following story is the property of the author and is not to be copied, or published without the express, written consent of the author.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the first in a series of three. The next is: Jack's loop off, and the third will be: The next day. Hope you like them all. Let me know!!!

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"You could do anything for as long as you want, without having to worry about the consequences."

The words spoken by Daniel Jackson remained fresh in Teal'c's mind. The translating job had been boring and the slow progress was frustrating. Teal'c decided to take a loop off. It had not taken him long to decide what to do.

BANG

"Sorry, Sir. I didn't realize you were there..."

Teal'c grabbed the airman before the man could finish his sentence. Without hesitating, Teal'c lifted the man high up in the air and with one move, he threw him into a closet close by. He closed the door and locked it securely.

That taken care of, he headed straight for the infirmary. He searched for Dr. Fraiser, and soon found her in one of the exam rooms. She appeared to be searching for something in one of the closets.

Fraiser looked up, surprised to see him. "Hi, Teal'c. What can I do for you?"

The Jaffa said nothing, but picked the small female doctor up and placed her solidly on an examination table. He opened one of the drawers, drew out a digital thermometer and resolutely stuck it in the stunned doctor's mouth.

Without listening to her protest, Teal'c stamped through the corridors of the SGC. His next destination was the locker room. He stepped in front of O'Neill's locker and swung his arm backwards, then slammed his fist hard against the lock. It gave away instantly under the brute force and Teal'c wrung the door open with both hands. He was unaware of Sgt. Siler, who approached him, frowning at the Jaffa's strange behavior.

"Uh, Mr. Teal'c, what are you doing?"

Teal'c, disrupted from his actions, glared at the man. "This does not concern you, Sgt. Siler. Please step out of my way." He had found O'Neill's car keys and shoved the stunned man aside.

He had some things to do. Something he had wanted for so long, but had been unable to. He left the mountain without covering his head. Today, he was going to see the Tau'ri's world, without going in disguise. Today, he was going to tell the Tau'ri who he really was, and nobody was going to stop him.

He easily found O'Neill's black pick-up truck. He had seen him drive it many times, so he was certain he could also maneuver the vehicle. He could fly death gliders; tel'nac's and he knew how to control a Goa'uld mother ship. How hard could driving a truck be? It should be easy for a Jaffa.

He got in and started the vehicle. He threw it in reverse and the truck moved, too fast, smashing against another car that was parked behind it. Kree. After hitting the breaks, Teal'c looked over his shoulder to the car he had run into. He frowned. It appeared to be General Hammond's limousine.

Shrugging his shoulders, the Jaffa drove off. It did not matter.

He first drove to O'Neill's house. He failed to open the garage door, but drove straight through it instead. Not paying any attention to the mess he had made, the big man stepped out of the vehicle and soon found what he was looking for. In one corner, neatly organized, stood O'Neill's fishing gear. The fishing rods were all positioned against the wall, all lined up.

Teal'c smiled evilly. How the Tau'ri elicited great pleasure with this way of wasting time was beyond his belief. He did not like it at all. He slowly took one of the rods, turning it around in his hands, as if looking at it for a last time. He bent his knee and then broke the rod on it. Teal'c looked with satisfaction at the two parts before throwing them on the ground. He picked up the second rod and destroyed it as well. The third quickly followed, and the fourth. Ten minutes later, the satisfied Jaffa was finished, a pile of broken fishing rods at his feet. He now took O'Neill's boxes of equipment and turned them upside down, tossing the whole inventory over the floor.

There.

That definitely felt good. Nodding at his handiwork, Teal'c got back in the truck and drove off.

His next target was the park. It was a nice, small park, just outside of town. There were always people around, wandering or feeding the ducks in the small pond. There were kids riding those strange wooden boards on wheels, or running around with huge balls, attempting to throw them into a net. After parking the truck, Teal'c put on a long dark coat and started his trek through the park, smiling brightly at people who couldn't keep their eyes off the tattoo on his forehead.

One kid approached him, fast, he appeared to have wheels under his shoes. Teal'c frowned. He had never seen anything like this. The boy stopped in front of him, pointing at his head.

"Wow," he said. "What is that sign?"

"It is the mark of my former God, Apophis. I am a Jaffa, and I used to be his First Prime."

The kid raised his brows, not understanding a bit of what just had been said. "Very nice," he stammered, and left.

Teal'c was disappointed. He had hoped for a much longer conversation. He had wanted to explain a lot more, but apparently the human was not interested. He decided to take a different approach. He had read something about some sort of behavior somewhere, and although he did not understand the meaning of it, he figured it was worth a try.

He positioned himself behind some bush and waited.

Soon, two young female Tau'ri came heading his way, talking to each other, both carrying bags stuffed with groceries in their hands.

When they were close enough, Teal'c suddenly made his appearance and opened his raincoat. 'Junior' lunged forward, hissing loudly.

The women screamed, both dropping their bags and running off.

Frowning in surprise, Teal'c stared after them. He did not understand their behavior. According to the articles, some humans found great joy in this little game, but it had not proven to be entertaining at all. Maybe he should try again. He hid himself behind the bushes again and waited for the next person to arrive.

The next human approaching was a man, probably in his twenties. He wore a set of dark blue jeans, along with a dark stained sweater.

Teal'c stepped forward, repeating the process by opening his raincoat, showing his symbiote.

The young man looked stunned at first, and then burst out laughing. "Wow!!! That's really cool, man! Where did you buy that?" He was still laughing while he walked away, leaving Teal'c wondering why the man thought that his symbiote was cool. As a matter of fact, it was very warm.

Had he already suspected the humans to be a strange race, now his suspicions were confirmed. He did not understand them one bit.

It was time for his next mission. He found the truck and drove it through town, looking for a store that carried what he needed. It took him a while, and somehow the cars behind him had managed to crash at the last intersection he passed. Finally, he found a large store, selling all kinds of equipment for home building, carpenters and construction.

He parked the truck and walked inside.

A young man stepped forward." How are you today?" the man asked politely.

"The same as I was yesterday," Teal'c answered shortly.

"Uhm... can I help you?" the man dared to ask.

"Indeed, you can," nodded the Jaffa. "I am looking for a saw."

"What kind of saw, Sir? A handheld saw, an electrical saw, a circular saw?"

Teal'c arched his brows. He did not know what kind of saw he actually needed.

"What kind of material is it meant for?" the man asked, seeing his hesitation.

"Metal. Very thick and heavy metal."

"Okay. I think I can show you something. Follow me, Sir." The man walked ahead, looking over his shoulder to see if his client was coming.

Teal'c followed and soon, the man was showing him the different kinds of saws he had to offer. Teal'c held a huge one in his hand, an electrical circular saw, testing it.

"I think this one is sufficient. I will take this one."

"Okay. Let me wrap it up for you," offered the man.

"That will not be necessary," Teal'c said shortly and marched away with the saw in his hands, without paying attention to the protesting man that was running behind him.

"Sir! You can't just walk out of here!" the man called.

Teal'c turned around, pushing the saw forward. "I will take this. It shall be returned to you shortly. Do not attempt to stop me."

The man jumped backwards, scared off. Teal'c left the store and drove back to the Mountain. With the saw still in his arms, he entered the elevator and pushed the button for the correct level. When the elevator stopped, he stepped out.

O'Neill came walking around the corner. "Yo! Teal'c! Where have you been? What have you done?"

Teal'c did not answer and passed O'Neill, walking straight towards a certain door. He plugged the saw in. He was unaware of the personnel who were jumping backwards in surprise as the giant saw started rotating.

Without hesitating, the Jaffa patiently started sawing through the door. He was not bothered by the pieces of debris that were flying around and unperturbedly continued until the whole door fell out of its frame. He smiled, satisfied at his achievement, and turned to unplug the saw...

BANG

"Sorry, Sir. I didn't realize you were there..."

*** THE END ***

Coming up soon: Jack's loop off. Excited? Curious what he will do? Mwahaha....