Nuki's Note:

Wrote this for a friend's birthday c: it's overly corny, but Kukai is a prince, so it's supposed to be that way. Yeah, it's not my best work; I'm not so good with crack.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not SC, and not any of the fairy tales used in the fic.

The Big Story Book

Once upon a time there was a sexy prince named Souma Kukai. Now Kukai was your typical sexy prince. He was charming, good looking, gifted with creative word play, and not to mention sexy. All the ladies digged him because he was a prince, of course. However, Kukai was dissatisfied with his relatively perfect life as a prince. In the deepest depths of his heart, he felt that there was something more waiting for him. One day, Kukai realized what he needed: a princess. How could he have not thought of it before? All his other prince friends had them.

And so, on a fine sunny morning, Prince Kukai set out on a journey to find his special princess. He hadn't wandered far from his castle when he came across a stone tower and an angelic melody that not even the cheerful, uplifting songs of the birds could compare to. Kukai looked left, right, down, and finally, up.

There at the top of the tower, in the single, curved window, sat a beautiful maiden stroking the bristles of a brush through her golden mane as music poured from her cherry lips. Prince Kukai swooned over this unblemished jewel far above his reach, and knew at that moment that this woman would be his princess. But her name? By what name did he address this breathtaking beauty?

A large yellow sign was plastered to the base of the tower. Under a huge red arrow that pointed upwards, the name UTAU was written. Ask and it shall be given Kukai thought with a nod to himself.

"Utau! Utau!" Kukai cried. "Let down your hair!"

Utau's music ceased and she leaned over the window to glare at the man below. "This isn't your fairy tale! Get out before I drop my nightstand on your head!"

Kukai stepped back a great distance and mulled over what Utau had shouted at him. Perhaps he and this gem were not meant to be. Well, there were plenty of other beauties in the world. Head held high, Kukai continued on his way. He wasn't quite sure where he was going, but he was confident that fate would lead him in the direction of the girl he was destined to call his one and only. Trusting the stone lined path he was walking on, Kukai hummed a little ditty to himself and marched forward.

Eventually the path brought him to a house. Outside of this home was a very small, adorable girl. She was sweeping the front porch, constantly brushing a honey coloured curl or two out of her rounded, doe eyes. Her clothes were dirty and old (and very out of fashion) but she was just as a perfect little doll. Surely this gorgeous girl was meant to be his princess!

"Excuse me, my dear," Kukai sauntered over to her and took a bow. "I couldn't help but notice you. Why is a fine young lady such as yourself doing chore work?"

The girl scowled at him, speaking as she continued to go about her business. "I'm cleaning the house while my step mother and step sisters are having a wonderful time at the ball."

A perfect opportunity indeed! Kukai held out his arm to her. "Well, what if you dropped that broomstick and you and I went to the ball ourselves? We c—."

"Are you kidding me? I can't just leave my work! Besides, this isn't your fairy tale. Get lost." With that, the girl whirled around and stomped inside the house, slamming the door behind her.

"Again?" Kukai mumbled to himself. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He wasn't very used to being rejected, but alas, the pretty ones must always play hard to get, mustn't they?

No matter! Destiny would in time reveal the woman meant for Kukai, he was sure of it. In a manly prance, he returned to the stone lined path and began walking once more. It was a fine day; he would walk all he needed if it meant happening upon his princess. She was out there somewhere. They would most definitely meet! . . . Eventually.

"Now what is this?" Kukai wondered aloud as he approached a giant shoe to the right of the path. Perhaps his princess was in here.

Kukai strayed from the stone to knock on the front door. Loud noises seemed to be coming from the inside. When the door opened, the noises revealed themselves to be crying and screaming, and they grew to glass shattering levels. The person who had answered the door was a lady who had bright pink hair and looked like she hadn't seen sleep in months. She held two babies in her arms while a screaming toddler was clinging to her leg.

"H- Hello there. You look like you could use a prince!" Kukai declared, although, he wasn't so sure about this one.

The girl growled at him, like a dog growls at the mailman. "Prince? PRINCE? It's because of a prince that I'm stuck with this!"

As if in response, the crying and screaming from inside grew louder and more painful. Another small child ran up to the woman's leg and began tugging on her apron.

"O- Oh. Well… children are a gift from God, mind you." Kukai was backing away slowly with his hands held up defensively.

"I don't need no damn prince! I need a BABYSITTER DAMMIT!"

Kukai was running as fast as he could. Even though he was handsome, charming, and very sexy, Kukai couldn't help but take a hit on his ego. He didn't think that finding a princess would be so hard. Bruised but not ready to give up yet, Kukai carried himself as confidently as he could, and continued on with his long, hard quest in search of the girl of his dreams.

Minutes turned to hours. The once warm sun was now beating on Kukai like a flickering fire he was too close to. Oh, why did princes have to where tights and long sleeves? There wasn't a well in sight. All Prince Kukai could see was grass, blue sky, the path, lots of trees, and a girl feeding a unicorn. If he didn't find water soon, he might collapse from thirst. Could he die? Impossible! Princes didn't die! Princes were supposed to— was that really a girl feeding a unicorn?

Kukai turned around and glanced to his left. Sure enough, there was a fair maiden handing oats to her dark blue unicorn. Her smile was sweet. Her clothes were simple but in style. Her amber locks were in pig tails. Was it possible? Was there even a chance that this girl was the one? Cautious but hopeful, Kukai stepped towards her.

The girl grinned at him when she saw him. "Hello!"

Prince Kukai's heart was racing. This was the first female all day that hadn't narrowed her brows at him. She was the one! She was most certainly the one! Oh how sweet fate was! He took her hand in his, only to find out that it had unicorn saliva all over it, but let that be for now.

"Hello, my beautiful lady. What would a goddess be doing out here, alone?"

"I was taking a walk with my unicorn, Ikuto!" The girl chirped and Ikuto whinnied in response to his name, expecting more oats.

"What is your name?" Kukai asked smoothly.

"It's Yaya!" Yaya replied. She looked from her hand, which was wrapped in both of Kukai's, to Prince Kukai's face. "Can I help you? Are you lost?"

Kukai hesitated before answering. "Dear Yaya, may I bless you with a kiss?"

Yaya blinked at him. "A kiss? Hmm, I've never had one of those before. I guess I wouldn't mind, b—."

Kukai waited for no more. He passionately pressed his lips to hers and kissed her as princely as a prince could. Behind their passionate and hot kiss, Ikuto flicked his tail about, angry that he had yet to receive his delicious oats. He considered kicking Kukai, but that was terribly un-unicorn like. Only horses kicked people. Unicorns such as Ikuto simply stabbed them to death with the horn atop their heads.

After long moments of bliss, Kukai pulled away, ecstatic. "Come, Yaya! Let us marry and together we shall be prince and princess! You and I will rule a kingdo—!"

Yaya interrupted him, laughing as she shook her head back and forth. "Marriage? I'm sorry, Sir, but I've decided to stay a nun the rest of my life after I saw my father turn into a frog. No marriage for me."

"Wha—?"

"Let's go, Ikuto. Staying out in the sun too long is bad for your health. Thank you, Sir. I had a nice time meeting you."

And with that Yaya hopped on Ikuto, who at first refused to move after Yaya had failed to give him the rest of his oats. But with gentle coaxing and promise of not only oats, buy hay as well, once they returned home, Yaya convinced Ikuto to finally move, and together they rode off into the sunset, leaving Kukai alone, heartbroken, and very confused.