A/N: It's back! :-) I was torn between working on this, Backbone, LN or the upcoming one and this one just started to flow for me, so I went with it. Ryan gets two songs in this chapter, which brings the song tally up to 31 if I'm not mistaken. This chapter is kind of random and gives you a look into my maybe not so sane mind. Kelsi's hormones get the best of her in this and Ryan digs himself into a little hole and Jason...well I adore Jason's part in this, I have to admit. The visual of his part is so strong it just gets me giggling. Actually there's one whole patch of this (it starts off with Ryan getting a mental picture) that amuses me far too much than it should (just ask Jenn ;)). No idea where the inspiration came from, but go with it. In other story news, I have a feeling I might be doing a lot of writing over the next couple of days since I'm currently snowed in thanks to the storm that attacked the Mid-Atlantic in the US - we got just over 32 inches over yesterday and today! It's crazy and it's already getting to me, but this may mean good things for my stories, since there's not much else to do. That said, no promises. If you're a praying person, please pray that our power/heat stays on. Thanks! Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think!
For a long time, neither one of them said anything; they just sat there on the couch, cuddled up next to each other and lost in their thoughts and dreams for and about the little baby currently growing inside Kelsi. Ryan was back to making plans, finding more and more things to add to his mental to-do list. There seemed to be so many things that he and Kelsi would need to take care of and as far as he was concerned, the sooner they got started, the better. Everything would seem less overwhelming that way...at least he hoped so.
That was where his thoughts had seemed to stay for the most part, but every once in a while they would shift. Mental plans would be shoved aside in favor of musings about what kind of father he would be. He hoped with everything inside of him that he'd be a good one. He knew that he'd make mistakes, but he had meant it when he'd said that he'd never stop trying to be the perfect father. A faint smile spread across his face as it occurred to him that he'd probably be spending a lot of time talking to Vance and Kelsi's dad, Keith, about fatherhood, not to mention all his friends. He would study them, he decided, observe the way they were with their own children. Of course, with that in mind, Ryan imagined that no amount of observation could fully prepare him for the reality.
He'd do his best, however. For the sake of his baby and for the sake of his wife. Ryan snuck a glance at Kelsi, who appeared to be deep in concentration. Her brow was crinkled ever so slightly and her lips were curled down in a small pout. It was the same look she got when she was struggling with one of her compositions, and as such, a look Ryan was very familiar with. He watched her gaze drop to her stomach and felt his own brow wrinkle when she stuck her hand out a few inches away from her stomach, her head tilting and her eyes squinting a bit as she studied it.
"Kelsi?" he asked quietly.
"Hmm?"
"What are you doing?" he wanted to know.
"Thinking," she replied, sounding distracted. He watched her gaze flicker between her hand and her stomach and was baffled to see her beginning to get upset.
"What's wrong?"
"Do you ever think about your feet?" she asked, rather unexpectedly.
"Do I ever think about my feet?" Ryan paraphrased, giving her an odd look.
"Yeah," she nodded. "Probably not all that much, right? I mean, there's usually no reason to think about your feet. Maybe when you're putting on your shoes...maybe when you can't find your shoes, for that matter. And then if they were hurting for some reason, you'd think about them then, right?"
"Um...right," he said slowly, wondering where she was going with this.
"That's so sad," she declared. "I mean...do you realize how important feet are? Right up there with hands. They're really, really important and yet...we never think about them. How sad would it be if you couldn't use them?" she challenged him. "I feel so bad for people who can't, you know?"
"Um, yeah," he nodded.
"Feet are important," she said softly, lifting up one of her legs to inspect her foot. "I like my feet," she decided. "Even if they are a little small." Kelsi waved her foot in his direction. "What do you think?"
"About your feet?" he asked, feeling more confused by the second.
"Yeah," she replied. "Do you think they're kind of small?"
"Maybe a little, I guess, but...but, well, you're a pretty small person," he shrugged.
"That's true," she agreed.
"Um, Kelsi?" he asked.
"Hmm?"
"Is there any particular reason why you're rambling about feet?" he wanted to know.
"Oh Ryan." She surprised him by sniffling. "I'm pregnant."
"And that relates to your feet, how exactly?"
"Because I'm going to start getting bigger and bigger and at some point I won't be able to see my feet anymore." She glanced back at him and he was amazed to see she had tears in her eyes. "Ryan, I'm not going to be able to see my feet! I'm going to get all big and fat and gross and I won't be able to see my feet anymore!" Another sniffle. "I'm going to miss my feet."
"Well...it's not like they're going anywhere," he offered lamely, unsure of what he should say to make her feel better. "I mean, okay, so you might not be able to see them anymore...you'll still be able to feel them."
"But it won't be the same," she retorted, alarming him by bursting into tears. "Oh Ryan...are you still going to love me when I gain all that weight?"
"Aw, baby, of course I will," he said softly.
"What if it's a lot? What if I just keep piling it on and on, getting bigger and bigger until I turn into a great big whale of a person?" she asked.
"You won't turn into a whale," he said calmly.
"You...you didn't answer the question," she sniffled.
"Of course I'll still love you," he said gently. "How could I not?"
"Because I'll be so big you won't be able to put your arms around me anymore," she answered tearfully. "Not like you can now."
"It'll be different for a little while," he acknowledged. "But I'll still be able to put my arms around you. And I would still love you even if I couldn't."
"What if I start to waddle?" she asked. For a few seconds Ryan could only stare blankly at her while he tried to process the question.
"Excuse me?" he asked finally.
"What if I start to waddle?" she repeated. "Which I probably will. I mean, let's face it; I'm going to be huge! I'll have to waddle so I can move. Oh Ryan." She let her head flop back to rest on the arm he had wrapped around her shoulders. "I don't want to waddle! I'll...I'll look like a duck! A gigantic, enormous, waddling duck!"
"Kelsi, he began, though he stopped when she gasped.
"My God, Ryan, I'll be as big as a whale and I'll be waddling like a duck. I'll be...I'll be a whale duck!" she sobbed.
"A whale duck," he repeated, his lip quivering ever so slightly as a rather amusing picture popped into his head.
"Oh Ryan, I don't wanna be a whale duck!" she cried. A snicker escaped from Ryan before he could hold it back and now Kelsi turned her attention back to him, her eyes narrowing as she lifted her head back up. "Are you...are you laughing at me?"
"No," he answered quickly, valiantly fighting against the smile that was dying to break out across his face. "Of course not," he managed, even as another laugh escaped.
"You are." Just like that Kelsi's mood changed from being distraught over her impending future as a whale duck to anger at her husband. "I'm sitting here crying my eyes out and you're...you're laughing at me!?"
"No! I'm not...I'm not laughing at you," he snickered, feeling his grip on his control slipping even more. "It just...I just got a funny mental picture, is all."
"Nice. That's real nice, Ryan," she shook her head. "I'm happy that the image of me all big and huge and waddling amuses you."
"That's not…that's not what amuses me," he said, struggling to speak at that point. "I got an image of a whale with a beak." She lifted an eyebrow as he kept laughing, her anger increasing with every passing second. "It's funny!"
"Unbelievable," she muttered, getting to her feet.
"Oh, come on, don't get mad," he pleaded. "You gotta admit, it's pretty funny."
"Humph," she grumbled.
"You're actually mad," he realized, astonished. "I can't believe it. Those hormones pack quite a punch, huh?"
"As a matter of fact, they do," she answered, her eyes narrowing in irritation. "Thanks for that, by the way. It's bad enough that I'm going to turn into a whale duck because you knocked me up. Now I'm going crazy, too. I'll be a great, big, gigantic, crazy whale duck." Ryan had been starting to regain control, but her words sent him over the edge again. "Stop laughing at me!" she demanded.
"I'm sorry," he managed. "I can't…I can't help it!" Several seconds passed with Ryan taking a few deep breaths to try and get a grip while Kelsi just gaped at him in silence.
"I hope you like that couch," she said finally.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because you'll be sleeping on it tonight," she informed him, amusing him by turning on her heels and storming out of the room.
"Kelsi!" he called, hopping to his feet and following her into the kitchen where some of the other adults were working on dinner. "Come on, baby, don't be mad. It's funny."
"What's funny?" Zeke asked, surprised to see Kelsi looking so annoyed.
"Kelsi's mad at me," Ryan told him.
"Why?" Zeke wanted to know.
"Tell Ryan he's an idiot," Kelsi said in response.
"Ryan, you're an idiot," Zeke echoed obediently.
"You don't even know why she's mad!" Ryan protested.
"Good point." Zeke turned his attention back to Kelsi. "Why are you mad?"
"Well, I started thinking about all the weight I'm going to put on," Kelsi began, taking a deliberate step away from Ryan when he tried to move closer to her. "And how fat I'm going to get."
"Aw, you won't be fat, Kelsi," Zeke cut in. "You're pregnant. It's not the same thing and I bet you'll be beautiful."
"Now, you see?" Kelsi directed the question to her husband. "That's what you should have said." She looked back at Zeke. "So there I am, crying about how big I'm going to get, how I'm going to turn into a great, big whale which would mean that I'd eventually start waddling like a duck," she continued. "And how that meant that I'd turn into a whale duck and you know what he did? He laughed at me!"
"Aw, now that's not cool, man. You can't laugh at your pregnant wife when she's crying..." Zeke trailed off, thinking back to what she'd just said. "A whale duck?"
"Yes," Kelsi nodded. "A whale duck." A low growl sounded in her throat as Ryan snickered again. "Stop laughing at me!" She slapped Zeke's arm. "Tell him to stop laughing at me!"
"Stop laughing at her," Zeke said, though Ryan could tell he was fighting the urge to laugh himself. "It's not nice."
"Thank you," Kelsi said with a nod, shooting Ryan another dirty look as she headed towards the refrigerator to get something to drink.
"A whale duck?" Zeke snickered to Ryan, trying to keep his voice down so Kelsi couldn't hear him.
"I wasn't laughing at her," Ryan grinned. "Just think about a whale with a beak..."
Kelsi glared over at Ryan and Zeke at the sound of Zeke's laughter, though he quickly covered it up with coughing. "Totally unrelated to what we were just talking about," Zeke offered, giving Kelsi what he hoped was a charming smile.
"Humph," she mumbled.
"Hey guys," Jason smiled at his friends as he came into the kitchen. "I think the kids are getting restless. Any idea when dinner will be ready?"
"Soon," Zeke answered. Another snicker escaped as something occurred to him. "Hey Ryan...what kind of sound do you think a whale duck would make?"
"Hmm...interesting question," Ryan said thoughtfully.
"Do I even want to know what you guys are talking about?" Jason asked, confused.
"Kelsi thinks she's going to gain all this weight and be a whale," Zeke explained.
"And start waddling like a duck because of it," Ryan continued.
"And she thinks she's going to be a whale duck," Zeke finished.
"A whale duck?" Jason laughed as Kelsi wandered back over to them.
"Oh for crying out loud," Kelsi grumbled. "Don't tell me you're laughing at me now too? Thanks a lot, guys."
"We're not laughing at you," Ryan assured her. "Just the idea of a whale duck. Come on, just picture it," he began, sneaking an arm around her waist to keep her from storming away again. "A regular old whale...with a beak. We were wondering what kind of sound a creature like that would make."
"Probably something like this," Jason said, fixing his mouth in an 'o' shape. "Aroooo." He sang, holding the note as long as he could while alternating between high and low pitches. He then amused them by launching into a series of quacks before launching into another "aroooo" sound and finishing with more quacks, making Zeke and Ryan laugh. Kelsi pressed a fist to her mouth to try to hide the smile she was fighting. "There...the sound of a whale duck," Jason grinned at them.
"You're such a dork," Kelsi managed.
"Oh, hey, what's that?" Ryan asked, letting out a dramatic gasp. "Was that a smile?"
"No," Kelsi said quickly.
"Yes, it was. It totally was," Ryan teased her. "See?" He wiggled his fingers against her side, amused when she let a sound that was somewhere between a giggle and a yelp. "It was funny."
"Stop," she protested, giggling as he kept tickling her.
"Do I still have to sleep on the couch?" he asked, bringing his other hand to her stomach. "Huh?"
"Ryan, please." She tried to squirm her way away from him, but ended up being trapped against the counter instead.
"Do I still have to sleep on the couch?" he asked again, grinning at her.
"Okay, okay, okay," she laughed. "No, you...you don't...stop...please stop." She grabbed his hands and pressed them against either side of her waist, relieved when he let her.
"I really wasn't laughing at you. I promise," he told her. "But I'm sorry anyway."
"Yeah, me too." She lifted her hands to his shoulders. "I overreacted. It's just the hormones...I can't help it."
"I know," he assured her. "It's okay."
"So does that mean that you're still going to love me even if I turn into that great big, gigantic, crazy whale duck?" she asked.
"Of course I will," he smiled at her. "After all, you'll be my whale duck."
"Aww, that's sweet," she smiled. "In an odd kind of way." She tugged him a little closer so she could kiss him.
"Hey, put a lid on it would ya?" Zeke rolled his eyes, though he was smiling. "There's kids present."
"Hmm." Ryan's eyes softened as he studied his wife. "You know, this time next year, one of those kids present will be ours."
"I can't wait," she said softly, beaming at him.
"Me either," he agreed, leaning in for another tender kiss, though he kept this one short.
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"Hey Ry, will you help me put the twins down?" Sharpay asked shortly after dinner, flashing Kelsi a quick smile while she waited for him to respond.
"Uh sure," he answered, sounding a little surprised.
"Great. I'll take Phillip," she said. "You take James."
"Okay," Ryan agreed, moving to pick up his nephew. "Come here, little man." He followed his sister up the stairs and into her bedroom. They then got their respective twin ready for bed, changing their diapers and putting them into their pajamas.
"You're good at this," Sharpay smiled as she watched Ryan pick James back up.
"You think?" he asked, gently bouncing James when he began to fuss.
"I do. You're a natural," Sharpay nodded. "You're going to make such a wonderful father."
"I hope so," Ryan responded.
"You know why I wanted you to help me with the twins tonight?" Sharpay asked.
"No," Ryan answered softly.
"To give you your next song," Sharpay answered. "Kelsi asked me too."
"Ah-ha," Ryan smiled. "What song is it?"
"Well, Kelsi asked me if there were any special songs that our parents used to sing to us when we were growing up," Sharpay began. "You know how much family means to Kelsi. She wants to take some things from her childhood and some thing from yours to give to your baby. Carry on some of the traditions you both have in your families and all that." She smiled at him. "When she asked me about that, a few songs came to mind, but there was one in particular that Mom used to sing to us all the time."
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow," Ryan said, a knowing smile on his face. "Because The Wizard of Oz is her favorite movie of all time," he added.
"And that's her favorite song of all time," Sharpay said. "Do you remember our middle school production of that?"
"Of course," he grinned. "You were cast as Glinda and you were so mad about it at first because you wanted to be Dorothy. But then Grandma spent an entire week making that dress for you to wear and you got over it."
"I don't know about that," Sharpay admitted. "I still wanted to be Dorothy, but I loved that dress."
"Sure, you did," he laughed. "It was sparkly and pink, how could you not love it?"
"Don't forget the tiara," she reminded him. "That made it all worthwhile…of course, after the show ended, I remember vowing that I would only get leads from there on out. Glinda was fun and all, but I wanted to be the star."
"That was the beginning of the end," he teased her. "You were a great Glinda, you know."
"Tell me something I don't know," she joked. "And you were great as the Cowardly Lion." She burst into giggles. "Hey, I wonder if your wife has ever seen the pictures from that show."
"She has not," he shook his head. "And she won't if I have anything to say about it."
"Aw, why not, Ry? You were a cute lion. Even if your tail was all sparkly."
"Yeah." His eyes narrowed at her. "And why was my tail all sparkly again?" he asked, pretending to think about it for a few seconds. "Oh wait, now I remember. It was because my sister decided to dip it in glue and cover it with glitter about an hour before the show and it was the only tail they had."
"That was an accident," she said innocently.
"Yeah, I might believe that…if all the glitter used hadn't been bright pink," he said, giving her a pointed look.
"You were a great lion, though," she said honestly. "And hey, it takes a great actor to pull off a lion with a pink tail. Your numbers got the most applause, you know."
"It was a fun show," he nodded.
"It was," she agreed. "But yeah…Mom always sang us Somewhere Over the Rainbow and now I sing it to my boys and Angel."
"You do?" Ryan asked, smiling at her.
"I do," she confirmed. "Usually when I'm putting them down for the night. It helps them fall asleep…and I hope…and Kelsi hopes, for that matter, that you'll sing it to your baby, too."
"I think I will," Ryan said thoughtfully. "I like that. Mom sang it to us and you sing it to your kids…seems to be an Evans tradition, huh?"
"Apparently so," Sharpay nodded, kissing Phillip on the top of his head before setting him down in his crib.
"Guess I better start practicing, huh?" Ryan asked, following suit and carefully laying James down in his crib. "What do you think, little man? Little men," he corrected, smiling over at Phillip. He exchanged a smile with Sharpay and then began to sing. "'Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high. There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby'."
"'Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue'," Sharpay chimed in, adding harmony to his melody. "'And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true'…"
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Ryan was smiling as he headed down the stairs to find his wife once the twins had fallen asleep. Sharpay had told him that Kelsi would be in the room with the piano to give him the song that her parents had sung to her when she was little. He was greeted by the sound of the piano playing as he headed down the hallway, his smile softening when he entered the room and found Kelsi sitting in there alone, a slightly dreamy expression on her face while she played. Her eyes were closed and she appeared to be lost in the song she was playing – Moon River, which had been performed by more artists than Ryan could think of.
He quietly made his way to the piano, not wanting to disturb her while she played. "Hi," she softy, surprising him.
"Hi," he replied. "How'd you know I was here? You have your eyes closed."
"The same way I always know when you're close," she answered, finally opening her eyes and looking at him. "It's my Ryan intuition," she smiled. "Come here. Sit by me." He obeyed, sitting beside her on the piano bench while she continued to play. "My mom always used to sing this to me at bedtime," she told him, a soft chuckle escaping. "That's pretty much the only time she ever sang. She's pretty self-conscious about her voice and it's true, she's not a fantastic singer, but...but that didn't matter. I think it made her singing more special to me because she loved me enough to do it, even if she hated the way her voice sounded."
"She used to sit on the edge of my bed and stroke my hair as she sang and she always sang with such love," she continued quietly. "She told me that she'd always sing the entire song, even though I usually fell asleep sometime in the middle of it. I love this song...it's so peaceful, you know? This was probably the first song I ever really loved...and it's what got me interested in playing the piano."
"Really?" he asked.
"Yep," she nodded. "I loved that song so much that I wanted to learn how to play it. Especially once I heard it on the piano...it sounded so beautiful." She trailed off as she reached the end of the song, immediately going back to the beginning. "You don't really need the words...I mean, they're beautiful too, but the music itself..." She shook her head. "I was pretty young the first time I heard it on the piano, but that didn't matter. It just...it made me feel something, you know? And so, I wanted to learn how to play it because I wanted to be able to make other people feel the same way. So I begged my parents for lessons and that was it. I fell in love the first time my fingers hit the keys."
"I don't think you've ever told me that before," he said softly, smiling at her.
"I have this dream," she began. "Where I'm in our nursery...I know we don't have one yet, but that's okay. I can see it...sometimes I see it all in shades of blue and sometimes I see it in shades of pink, but it's basically the same. I see our nursery and I imagine holding our little baby in my arms and singing him or her to sleep just like how my mom used to sing me to sleep. I dream about playing this for him or her while you hold onto them, gently rocking them like I know you will. I see us taking turns, maybe. Me singing or playing one night and you singing the next. I can see it so clearly, Ryan." She looked back at him, a radiant smile on her face. "I can't wait. I just...I can't wait."
"Me either," he managed, taken aback by the swell of emotion he was feeling at her words.
"'Moon river, wider than a mile'," she began singing softly while she continued to play, singing just loud enough for him to be able to hear her. "'I'm crossing you in style some day.'"
"'Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker'," he joined in, causing another smile to spread across her face. "'Wherever you're going I'm going your way'..."