Title: The Mello Sheep
Disclaimar:I don't own Death Note, it's characters, or anything that the rightful owners created.
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Incredible. Simply incredible. Near, of all people, was showing emotion! It wasn't anger, or frustration that his grades somehow dropped to an "A". Or happiness that he has won the lottery by making a fake ID. Or even excitement that the newest version of Megatron was coming out next month. But it was of longing. And provocation. As his parents had died only a few years earlier, it didn't help that Mello kept on cracking 'your mom' jokes...But Mello stopped when Near destroyed all of his chocolate in an inexplicably insane explosion.
"Mello and Matt, would you please come to my office. Immediately!" Roger's voice crackled on the intercom.
"Crap..." Mello muttered, "Come on Matt, better do as he say's. Let's not make him even angrier..."
Matt followed the blonde as he put away his Gameboy and wondered if he should be remorseful of the pranks he had pulled.
"Mello?"
"What?"
"Do you still think it was a good idea to coat Near's toys in itching powder?"
"Well, yes. But it would have been better if we had been able to buy some laxatives...Or some food coloring."
"Yeah, well, it's not like Roger is going to let us go out by ourselves after that one little incident." Matt snickered.
"When are you going to shut up about that? I didn't know that Molotov cocktails were that explosive. Really, I didn't mean to blow up the poor guy's Porsche."
"Think about it...Gasoline plus fire equals 'boom', no?"
"SHUT UP!"
0o0o0o0o0o0o
About three minutes and seven bruises received on Matt's part later, they arrived at Roger's office. Mello peeked through the door at Roger's desk. 'Strange, he thought, he isn't here.' Matt, somehow tripping on his own feet, hit the door, forcing it open. They immediately realized they were in the wrong room.
Mello got up on his feet, punched Matt in the leg, and muttered something about Mapquest.
0o0o0o0o0o0o
Twenty seconds later they were at the real "Roger's office". As evidenced by the sign that said "Roger's office".
So they walked inside, using the usual drill of looking in to see what his face was leaking in emotion. Nothing, except that he had finally mastered his Gendo Ikari impression.
"Mello and Matt, I called you here, for a number of reasons. First, I want to know why the maps of the campus were made by Mapquest. I believe I told you two to use . Second, I want to know why Near's toy's were coated with itching powder. Don't worry, he didn't come into contact with it, the maid did." At that statement, both Mello and Matt broke out into a cold sweat. Easily disguised by the summer heat. "Third, I want you to go and apologize to Near for making numerous 'your mom' jokes, especially on topic's that he remembers so vividly. Including, but not limited to, cliff diving, pine trees, Coca-Cola, and purple teddy bears. Fourth, I want you to come up with a way for him to cope with the loss of his parents, since it only happened about three years ago. You don't have to comfort him personally, just find a way. And finally, number five; please shower, you smell like the thing you hid under Near's bed. Dismissed!"
0o0o0o0o0o0o
"Near?" Mello asked, concerned, as he knocked on the playroom door for the nineteenth time.
"Baaaaaaaaa!" Came the answering...sound?
"Gah...Frickin' sheep," Mello mumbled. Then the idea struck him, why not send Near to New Zealand to cheer him up? Mello thought it was the most brilliant thing since Einstein's theory of Relativity. So he walked into the room, and was met by a sight he will never forget. Matt, dressed as Megatron (or some other Transformer, they all looked alike to Mello), was knitting some pajamas for Near, while trying to sound like a sheep.
Mello facepalmed, as his free hand went to his vest pocket to get his chocolate bar. Only to realized that Near had destroyed it in his fit of rage. He looked up, his eyes filled with malice at the thought of his anti-drug/anti-depressant gone! Or at least until he got to the store. He then started to cry. Because Near was seemingly taunting him as he pulled out a bar of chocolate. A bar of white chocolate, just like Near, oh how he hated white chocolate. As he fell to his knee's sobbing, even if it were not the real thing, he wanted, he needed that chocolate.
"N-n-near?" Mello stuttered, "Can I have that chocolate?"
"You said 'give that chocolate to Matt' right?" Near said calmly as he tossed it to Matt, who promptly took a bite out of it.
"Look, I'm really sorry for the constant 'your mom' jokes, the pranks, and causing the mental breakdown..." Mello said as he looked down at the floor.
"Prove it."
"I will, Near, Believe It!"
"Good thing I didn't give you that chocolate...I have some Ramen in the cupboard?"
"Urk," came the sound from Mello's throat as he truly cried in front of his rival.
"Heh, sucker." Matt snickered as Mello left brokenhearted."Can I take off this ridiculous suit now?"
"If you hand me that lego."
0o0o0o0o0o0o
"So, Matt, what was up with the whole 'I'm going to become Near's slave and dress like a robot' thing?" Mello inquired, as he took a bite of his newly bought hoard of chocolate.
"It was my way of saying I was sorry. How are you going to do yours? Since you didn't seem even the least bit sincere."
"Well, it's something I need help with..."
"You're cutting down on your chocolate?? I am so proud!" Matt declared sarcastically.
"What? I could never do that! And besides, it might take more than that to show him I'm sorry. I truly am. I mean, the last time I actually felt guilty, was when I was out of money for chocolate, so I stole some of your mo-" He stopped as Matt sent him his patented death glare.
"If it involves making some money, I expect some you to cover the two hundred you apparently stole from me, back with interest."
"Well," Mello fumbled,"when you were baaing like a stupid sheep, I thought it was Near. Because he does resemble one, does he not? You know, white curly wool, I mean 'hair', he only wears white socks and pajamas..."
"..."
"And I thought, 'why not send him to New Zealand? So he can be united with his lost brethren in the pastures!'"
"..."
"...Well?"
"...You can't send him alone, you know he's never been on a plane by himself before. Who would you send with him? Roger wouldn't have time. The other kids would die to go to New Zealand, but would rather live in a slum than go somewhere with Near."
"Ummm," Mello pondered for a second, "I know! Have a drawing! Like a raffle ticket! And that would help collect more money!"
"..." Matt stared, "Yeah, sure, anything you say boss. I know you would just draw yourself."
"I would not!"
"Pssh, you keep saying that."
0o0o0o0o0o0o
"Well? Can I do it?" Mello cheerfully asked Roger.
"Fine, but on one condition, you have to enter yourself into the drawing."
"You're kidding me, right?"
"Nope."
"Fine," Mello sighed.
"Good boy. Now run along now and tell Near of your plans."
"Seriously?"
"Mmhmm."
0o0o0o0o0o0o
"Hey, Near!" Mello hollered from across the grounds, still perplexed by the fact that he was wearing brand new white socks in mud season. "Roger told me to talk to you about something."
"Well make it quick, I have to meet the mailman to get my new action figures and socks."
"Well, it might take a little bit longer than that. So can I walk with you?"
"If it has to do with sheep, I will not forgive you. Ever."
'Not a good sign,' Mello thought. "Well, I thought it would be cool if you could see other parts of the world, and also as a way for me to apologize to you sincerely."
"..."
"I figured you would enjoy New Zealand, because it is nice and green, and has good food, and sheep..."
"I told you that if you brought up sheep, I would kill you, didn't I?"
"B-but that's not the reason!"
"Oh? Than what is this 'reason'?"
"Taking a break from Wammy's would be good for you, and you would be able to get your grades back up. And if you really want, I could help you with that instead."
"Suck up."
"And someone else would go with you, because I heard that you have never been on a plane by yourself before."
"..."
"I would hold a raffle thingy, to determine who goes..."
"...Please don't enter yourself."
"Roger told me too."
"Stalker," sighed Near.
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First chapter: done.
Please R&R