My Safe Harbor

This version of the story takes place after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. What if Bella discovers that the more intimate she is with Jacob , the more her heart heals? How far will she go? Does she hurt her best friend in the process? Will she loose them both forever? Will Edward come back to reclaim his lost love? If so, who will she choose?

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Chapter 1-Permanent Residence

BPOV

The rain pelted my bedroom window mimicking the tears falling from my eyes, hitting my pillow. Forks constant gray skies seemed to mirror my mood these days since he left. It has been close to four months now, and the pain never seems to cease. When sleep takes me each night, my nightmare, the same nightmare, brings an onslaught of painful memories. Each torturous time rips the gaping hole that has set up permanent residence in my heart. It is a constant reminder that he left me, shattered and broken beyond repair.

My unselfish nature keeps me from taking my own life, even though the thoughts of ending my sad existence has crossed my mind daily. I would never do that to Charlie. Lately he has worried about me, slightly hovering at times. I have to give him credit for trying. He invites my friends over regularly, hoping that someday I will give in and accept their company. My only fear with seeing my friends is the questions that will come with them. I cannot handle playing twenty questions. I might loose it, and that is not fair, nobody deserves that. In fact, "what did I do to deserve this?" To have my world crumble around me, no wait, on me would be a better description. The thing is, Charlie doesn't understand that I do not want anything from anyone, except for one. But he is never coming back.

"Enough psychobabble Bella", I thought to myself. Deciding to take a shower which was more of a chore these days, the simple day to day things have become a mountain to climb. Necessities like breathing is laborous. As I let the hot water run over my skin, letting my guard down for a fraction of a second, the thoughts of my second family, the Cullens, started to creep up on me. The ones that said that I was like family to them, the ones that claimed to love me like a daughter......................The ones that have forgotten about me and not even attempted to make contact with me in almost four months. It is true what Edward told me "It will be as if I never existed" Sometimes I think I am going a little crazy, like I conjured them all up in my head. Did they really exist? Did he really exist? The answer to that is yes, because something as perfect and god-like as Edward, could not have been imagined. My mind is not that creative!!

The water in the shower was beginning to turn cold when I realized that I had been in there to long. It seemed to help my overall numb feeling. Climbing out of the shower, I scraped my leg on the shower door runner. "Shit" I screamed to the top of my lungs as the blood from my cut covered the floor. I began to feel nauseated and the room started to spin. I clamped my hand over my mouth and nose to stifle the smell. Slamming my eyes shut so they were tightly closed. Good, now I couldn't see the blood, or smell the blood. I couln't even taste the blood in the air. With all of these senses cut off, my hearing became pronounced. I could hear familiar voices downstairs. "Probably one of Charlies ploys to get me to be around friends". But as I listened closely, I recognized the voices it was Billy and Jacob Black. Hopefully they are only here to watch the game with Charlie.

Slowly creeking open the door to the bathroom, hoping that nobody would hear me up moving around. That is almost like permission to invade my privacy. Charlie has learned to not bother me when I am locked in my room. Tiptoeing down the hall to my room, laying my hand on the doorknob ready to enter, I felt a very large, warm hand entwine around my shoulder.

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