What it Truly Means to be Random
Warning! This one-shot may cause head sickness, drowsiness, explosive diarrhea, and implosive diarrhea. Two-year-olds should not drive or operate machinery after reading this story. Ask your doctor if humor is right for you.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXMisty was peacefully walking in the Sahara desert when she spotted the Sea of Japan. She whipped out her "Little Misty" bobber and tied it to the line, wondering what she would catch. She threw her line in the water when she heard a voice.
"Misty…it is your destiny…"
Misty thought for a second. "Destiny sucks. I'm fishing, for darn's sake."
"Holy cheese, Misty, I knew you had an anger problem but…"
"Shush! You're going to scare my dinner…I mean, the water pokemon away! Who are you, anyway?"
"I'm the ghost of Tarzan."
"Oh. That makes perfect sense."
When the voice cursed under it's breath and went away, Misty got a tug at her line. "Yes! Lunch! I mean, a new friend!" Misty pulled sharply at the line. It snapped in two as she did so.
However, none of that matters. Magic powers connected them again, and Misty kept pulling. A Charmander emerged from the water.
"A Charmander in the water! This isn't weird at all!" Misty shouted, not sarcastic at all. "C'mon, I'll show you what my oven feels like!"
The Charmander got pissed and aimed a Frenzy Plant at Misty. Misty fired a Gunk Shot back. Misty had been practicing that move, and it came to her easily. The Charmander evolved into a Raichu, using the Stare at Tree attack. Misty fell to the floor, defeated.
"No! Stare at Tree attack is too strong!"
All of a sudden, Misty felt a warm feeling rush through her. Her eyes turned a deep blue and she grinned, realizing what was happening.
Back in the real world…"Yes!" a kid shouted, a black DS in his hands. "My Misty is evolving into Chuck Norris!"
"Lucky!"
"So what? I have three Chuck Norris."
"Oh, please trade me one! I'll give you my Bedtime Bear pokemon!"
"Not worth it at all!"
Back with Misty…
Misty was engulfed with a blue light, replacing her body with a man's.
Nothing had changed.
Chuck Norris used Crouch Kick!
Critical hit!
Raichu fainted!
Chuck Norris received 1,000,000 dollars in prize money!
The Raichu's eyes turned red. "It's over NINE-THOUSAND!!!!" it shouted, beating Chuck Norris with a gummy worm.
"Wah! I thought I had already beat you!"
The Raichu glared. "Chuck Norris, we have known each other for a fair amount of seconds. It is time I show you my real identity. Under this gummy worm, I am really… KATY PERRY!!!"
Raichu pulled off its costume to reveal that he… or she… was actually Katy Perry. She sung Hot 'N Cold without any music, basically doing everything she does in the music video.
"Shoot," Chuck Norris muttered. "I hate this song."
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So…did your doctor let you read it? If not, I'm not taking any lawsuits.
I think the moral of the story really is… If you're walking in the Sahara desert and find the Sea of Japan, run. Run away and don't ever come back. ~Furyfur