Mrs Hill

Oh, that silly girl has made the tea too strong again. The mistress couldn't stand it at any time, and surely not just now. If I don't see to everything myself, nothing would ever be done properly. I'll add some hot water and take the tray upstairs myself. At least I know how to soothe the mistress when she's in such a way.

And she is in a fair way! No wonder, what with Miss Lydia run off with that officer. Not that I'm supposed to know anything about it, but how could I not know? All the shouting and the hysterics, and Miss Kitty being scolded and Mrs Phillips talking at the top of her voice all the way up the staircase. Next thing we know, the master is off to London to do what he can do, the mistress is laid up in bed with the nerves, and the girls left to mill about the house like headless chickens. Well, Miss Jane, she keeps her head well enough, I admit, and still manages to look after the little ones, and little enough help she gets from either Miss Mary or Miss Kitty! Would that the mistress had a bit more command over herself and get some order into the household. Not much method in it at the best of times, but right now the place is like an upturned beehive. The master will have a more comfortable time wherever he is in London than he would have had here. Small wonder it is that he always locks himself up in that library of his.

Not that I hold him blameless, not at all. Teasing her wherever he can, he does. It's not a pretty way for a husband to behave. A bit of kindness from him would cure much of her nerves and her other weird ways, I wager. But he just winds her up, winds her up whenever he gets the chance. Shameful, that's what it is, and cruel. The girls don't notice, apart from one. Miss Jane is too kind-hearted to see a fault in anyone, and the younger girls never pay attention. But Miss Lizzy, now, she knows this fine well. She's got a right shrewd head on her pretty shoulders, and I've seen her look at her father and blush and frown. She's not fond of her mother, that much I know, certainly doesn't care for her the way I do! But she can't help understanding that the mistress is quite right, however much she makes too much of a fuss. The girls must marry and they must marry well. Otherwise, what's to become of them? It's all very well for the master to laugh about it, for he won't live to see the day when that Mr Collins turns them out of the house.

Aye, much as she might be flattered by his fancy for her, Miss Lizzy knows as well as I do that her father is letting them down. It is his duty to look after his family, and what is he doing about it? Just think how the mistress must have felt when she found out. She'd have thought she'd reached the safe haven of marriage, only to be told that at any time she might be cast out again into a stormy sea! Such a strange thing, that entail. Well, I'm not supposed to know about that either, but how often have the girls explained it over and over?

I wonder how Miss Lizzy thinks it's all going to work out for her. She turned down that Mr Collins, well, he was a tedious young man, but still. Who else is going to offer for her? I know she's got a right good opinion of herself, and not without reason, but the young men don't just look at a pretty face and listen to clever talk. They'll look for the money, too, and come to think of it, it was quite noble of Mr Collins that he didn't. Did Miss Lizzy even consider that? With all her cleverness, I think she's fooling herself.

Well, she might be on her way back home by now, and what a welcome she's going to have! A bit of a nasty awakening, I dare say, from her pleasures of travelling, for I can't see much going on in the way of balls and dinner parties after what's happened. Miss Jane will be so glad to see her, but I don't think anyone else is going to pay her much heed. Oh, well, such is the way of things. What was I thinking? Oh, yes, some butter for the buns. There now, that's the tray ready. I'll take it up to the mistress, poor dear, and give Miss Jane a bit of a rest. When Miss Lizzy is back, she can do it herself and see if she can talk some sense into her mother, but really, I don't know what's to become of them all.