Final verdict: nobody dies. That will come in another fanfic. :D The answers to my questions are: 1. Agent Rigsby. 2. Read and you'll find out.

Chapter Nine

Agent Rigsby was standing guard outside of a hospital room. Minelli had given him the task after he explained the situation. Turns out Jane pissed off the wrong people. Again. Christ, couldn't Jane piss off nice, sane people, like paper-pushing cubicle dwellers. And maybe skip the druggies, Rigsby thought. He heard a groan from the room's occupant. "Jane?" he called softly.

"Last time I checked, that is my name. Don't wear it out, okay?"

Rigsby laughed at this reply. "You're loopy as hell. Do you remember anything?"

"Unfortunately, everything. How is Lisbon?"

"I can't tell you."

"Rigsby!" A pained expression replaced his usual smile. "I wasn't trying to shoot her! Please, let me explain…" he pleaded.

"No, I can't tell you because I don't know how she's doing. I've been guarding your room. Besides, I know everything. Minelli brought me up to speed."

"Oh. Good. Could you do the same for me?"

"What do you mean?"

"For starters, how am I doing?"

"Well, you're probably the luckiest man on earth. The first bullet from Cho was embedded in your rib. Didn't hit anything, but it's probably making breathing hard."

"Kind of."

"The second miraculously wedged itself between folds of your small intestine; no major damage. They just had to sew up a few things," Rigsby explained.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I think I got that right," Rigsby disclosed with a grin.

"I can handle that. Next question: what were you guys doing there? One moment I'm talking a drug boss out of unknowingly killing me, the next I'm taking potshots at my boss. I mean, that's pretty drastic."

"Your guy was our guy too."

"Huh? I missed something…"

"Just get some rest. You're wasted on painkillers, and I don't feel like explaining everything twenty times."

"Okay." He closed his eyes and Rigsby reassumed his guard duty.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [a week later]

"All right, you look good to go!" the doctor told Lisbon.

"Thanks. I feel a lot better. Is there anything I need to do for a follow up?"

"Yeah: Don't get shot again!" Lisbon just laughed.

"I'll try, but I am a cop. I can't make any promises," she joked.

"You can leave whenever you're ready."

"Thanks." Lisbon wasn't quite ready to leave yet. She had to do something first. Rigsby told her Jane was in room 204, and she wanted to pay a visit.

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"Lisbon! You're all right!" Jane nearly leaped out of the bed greeting her, much to the vexation of the attending nurse.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you took a bullet to the hip?"

"You took two, and you seem to be full of energy!" Lisbon teased.

"Oh, don't I know it," grumbled the nurse as she bustled out of the room. The two were alone in the room for a little bit.

"Hey, Lisbon?"

"Yeah, Jane?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what? Following orders for once?" This conversation was taking a very dark turn, and Lisbon was trying to add a bit of levity. Laughter is the best medicine, right?

"No, for being stupid. I should have shot Tileppo instead. If not something else.

I could have killed you." He looked genuinely distressed.

"Let me guess. You've been replaying the night over and over with different courses of events."

"Yeah."

Lisbon sighed. "Jane, you're acting like I'm dead. Besides," she continued, "what were you trying to achieve with the whole shooting at me thing?"

"Well, Tileppo urged me to shoot you, and I tried to stall. It didn't work, and he said he was going to take the shot. I knew he'd shoot to kill, so I tried to intentionally miss."

"And then I tripped. I am such a klutz."

"Don't blame yourself. I took the shot."

"You were doing your job! I swear, you can be infuriating sometimes. You are your own worst critic."

"Minelli is going to kick my butt for the second time this week," Jane groaned.

"Actually, you're being cited. 'Bravery above the call of duty,' I think."

"In other words, I did something risky that had a good outcome."

"That too." She had to smile at that blunt interpretation. "I personally think you did the right thing," she reassured the consultant.

"Define 'right thing.'"

"What I would do. You almost single-handedly took down two major California drug rings, and you're criticizing yourself. Unbelievable!"

"It wasn't single-handed. The Vice Squad helped a lot."

There was a pause.

"How come Cho and Van Pelt haven't been here? Do they still think I was dirty?" Jane asked.

"No, they haven't been allowed. They shot you, so they don't get to visit." The look on Jane's face could only be described as incensement.

"Find a way to get them in here. I want to talk to them."

"Okay. I'll see what I can do." She leaned over the bed. "Get better. California never stays peaceful for long, and we need you."

"Okay. I'll see what I can do," Jane mimicked. Lisbon just smiled and left.

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"Hey, man. Sorry about the whole… you know," Cho mumbled.

"The shooting thing? Actually, I just have one thing to say."

"What's that, Jane?" Van Pelt asked.

"Superb shots, both of you! What are you guys, snipers? You had milliseconds to react, yet you took two shots each, with two hits! It was pure poetry in motion." Not an ounce of sarcasm could be heard in his voice.

"You're not mad."

"Hell, no. I would've done the same thing if the situation had been reversed. Except I would've aimed for the head. I know I can do it!"

"Then how come you hit Lisbon, if you're such a good shot?" Cho asked.

"She slipped and fell at the worst possible moment. It's no good being a sharpshooter if your target falls into your shot."

"I see."

"I shouldn't have taken the shot."

"Lisbon was right, you are beating yourself up," Van Pelt responded.

"She told you that?" he asked her incredulously.

"We do talk to each other, Jane!"

Jane just frowned. "Besides, I'm not beating myself up; I'm just stating a fact."

"Anyway, Tileppo is getting slammed. He's facing at least 40 years," Van Pelt informed him, quickly changing the subject.

"Good. He's a nasty one. I hated being his little servant."

"You know something? You probably have some good stories to tell," Cho remarked.

"I'd rather not tell them. I did some things I am not proud of during this assignment." There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Uh, Cho? I think we need to leave. We're really not supposed to be here. Lisbon pulled some major strings to let us in," Van Pelt fretted.

"All right. Feel better, man."

"I'll try, but the nurses here seem to hate me! They shoot me glares that would scare pro wrestlers!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [four weeks later]

Jane was lying on his couch, waiting for the stinging to reside in his nose. He had taken a right wallop from some woman's husband. Turns out that he was abusing her, and Jane noticed it. Jane called him out for it, and the husband confessed. However, not before trying to put a dent in Jane's face first.

"Jane! In my office," Minelli called.

"Am I in trouble?"

"Do you have to ask? You just insulted the attorney general!" Oh, yeah. The husband was the attorney general… Still, there's no excuse for what he did. If given the chance, he'd do it again. Except maybe, he'd duck the second time around.

"Good," Jane told Minelli. "I don't think I have enough in me for another undercover assignment."

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Finished! *does happy dance* Hope you all liked it. Feel free to build off my idea; just don't be a copycat. ^_^

This story is dedicated to Catherine, my mother. :D