NOTES: Some spoilers for the end of season 4. Also willful disregarding of one very important spoiler, because it didn't fit with my plot :) So, you know the recent small explosion of awesome Emily stories? The sound you hear would be me, jumping on the bandwagon :) Though, in my defence, Emily is awesome. Anyway, I'm sure everyone has read said awesome stories, but in case you haven't, they would be -

'What You Call Winter' - WhenLighteningStrikes

'one revolution around the sun' - ninja butterfliie

'A Garden For Wallflowers' - snappleducated

(I hope these people don't mind my mentioning them!).

First time writing Emily, so comments and criticism much appreciated :)

DISCLAIMER: Done for fun, not profit.

FILE UNDER: ex-boyfriends (Sheldon Shlepper), top ten romantic moments ever (#1)

"But I'll come back for you, Emily – I will. Just as soon as I graduate. And get a car. And a job. Of course, I'll need a driver's license before the car...And I'll need a job first to get the car..."

She knows it's goodbye from the second he says 'Newfoundland'. All his talk of coming back for her doesn't sway that belief for a moment. It's a romantic idea, sure – but just like she knows marriages between sixteen year olds don't last, she doesn't believe for one second that Sheldon will be back. It's still the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to her. Just because there's no hope of it ever happening doesn't make it any less romantic.

So, she kisses him, and enjoys the rest of her Prom night as best she can, and says goodbye when Sheldon leaves. And then...she gets on with the rest of her life. She dates other guys (she dates Derek – and who would ever have seen that one coming?), she tries to talk Casey down from whatever crazy ledges she finds herself on, she starts thinking about college. And she tucks Sheldon Shlepper away as a sweet, crazy memory.

That's how real life works.

FILE UNDER: crushes, hot guys (college)

At college, Emily is just Emily, instead of 'Casey McDonald's best friend.' And that's okay. It's actually kind of relaxing.

The girls she's sharing with are nice. They go out together to the movies, and to bars, and Sandra (who is like Casey-lite) pressures Emily to join the drama society with her. They're putting on a play called Idiot Strings. Emily goes anyway. This is where she sees Him.

He's tall, gorgeous and popular – the star of the production. Jarrod Jackson. Derek mark two. Sandra and Emily spend ice-cream filled evenings drooling over him, and arguing over who has the better job – Sandra's in costume design, and she gets to take his measurements, and Emily is prompter, and gets to spend quality time gazing at his profile as he declaims poetic speeches.

Of course, Emily's job isn't totally perfect – there are a lot of late evenings and sometimes her staring time is interrupted when the director says –

"Prompt-girl, we're waiting," and Emily becomes aware that everyone on stage is staring at her.

"Oh. Sorry," she inevitably says, and fumbles with her playscript. "Um – could I have the last line again?"

But these embarrassments fade away when Emily looks at Him.

"He's like...ice-cream for the eyes," Sandra says, and Emily has to agree. Mint-chocolate-chip, she thinks.

And then, one evening – a totally ordinary, not at all your-life-is-going-to-change-forever kind of evening, rehearsal ends, and Emily leaves. As she's walking, she hears a "Hey – prompt-girl!"

She turns, and it's Him. He jogs up after her and says, "Mind if I walk with you?"

His words are almost drowned out by the fact that he's speaking to her. It's so completely unexpected that all Emily can do for a while is blink at him, before saying, "Of course! Yeah! Of course!"

They walk slowly. Emily's mind is completely blank.

"So..." he says. "Prompt-girl...do you have another name?"

Emily is ninety per cent sure that she does, so she says, "Yes!"

"Um – would you mind telling it to me?"

"Oh! Sure!" she says. "Just...as soon as I remember it."

He stops and smiles at her – a smile that lights up his eyes, and suddenly, they're both laughing.

FILE UNDER: disastrous first dates with hot guys (Derek Venturi, Jarrod Jackson)

He asks her out for coffee, and Emily thinks she says yes – though it's hard to be sure with the pounding in her ears.

"Oh my God!" Sandra shrieks when Emily tells her, and they spend hours picking out the perfect outfit for her date.

It's a total disaster. She faithfully follows the script from her very first date with Derek (the one where he was using her to get back at Casey…though, honestly, that doesn't narrow it down as much as it should) – the awkward silence, the snorting, the uncontrollable babbling. The only difference is – he asks her out again.

And again.

And again.

On opening night, when the play is over, the cast come onstage to take their bows. They bow once, twice, three times. Before the curtain closes, Jarrod looks stage right, into the wings, right at her, and smiles.

And Emily starts to think that maybe this is going to last.

FILE UNDER: current boyfriend (Jarrod Jackson), top ten romantic moments (#2)

Two months later, and Emily trudges home after a late evening. She turns the key in the lock, walks into the living room, and stops, amazed.

There are candles on the table, and boxes of Chinese food. Jarrod is standing with a pink rose in his hand. "Surprise!" he says.

"It's not my birthday," is the first thing she blurts out.

"I know," he says, grinning.

Emily thinks frantically, but nothing comes to mind. "Is it our...three-month-a-versary?" she hazards – though she's never known anyone but Casey who celebrates those kinds of things.

"Nope," he shakes his head.

Emily stares at him, and at the kitchen, bathed in candle-glow. "Then what..."

"Just because," he says. "Now come on – the food's getting cold."

For a 'just because' he's put an awful lot of thought into it. They have the place to themselves – Sandra and June are at the cinema – and he's even thought of dessert.

"Mint-chocolate-chip," he says, proffering the ice-cream.

All Emily can do is look at him. "This – this is...amazing," she says finally, inadequately.

"So – is it the most romantic thing any guy has ever done for you?" he teases, with a hint of pride.

Emily wants this moment to be perfect, but she can't help herself. "Almost," she says softly, remembering her Prom, and a marriage proposal.

He doesn't get offended, just smiles a beautiful wide smile at her and says, "Emily Davis, you've been holding out on me," and he looks at her like he wants to discover every single one of her secrets.

That's the exact moment when she falls in love with him.

FILE UNDER: ex-boyfriends (Derek Venturi) and ex-boyfriends' ongoing issues (Casey McDonald)

It's not that it's always easy. But to her surprise, most of the time it is. Emily spends Spring Break with his family. That's easy too, and she doesn't even worry when summer vacation begins, and her parents want to meet Jarrod. She waits out the first week (which is 'just family'), and kills time until Jarrod can travel down.

It's weird, how things have changed. Casey's too involved with some project to make it down this summer, and Emily has a lot of free time on her hands.

It's also weird how things haven't changed. She drops into Smelly Nelly's, and is surprised to see Derek there, in the familiar brown t-shirt.

Eventually, he comes over to take her order – the place is pretty busy.

"How are things going?" she asks, curious. Casey's phone conversations are conspicuously Derek-free lately.

"Okay," he says, and produces a small white card.

"'Say it with a Derek Production'," she reads.

It turns out Derek's started a business – taping 'special moments' and messages – video-d Valentines, birthday wishes...and apparently doing quite well. He's saving up for new equipment, which is where Smelly Nelly's comes in.

"Wow," Emily says. Derek sounds...motivated.

"They're seriously short staffed at the moment," he says, "and it's money. And an easy way to meet girls."

Emily smiles. "Good to know that some things don't change," she says.

He brings her a chocolate milkshake, and while he sets it down on the table, he asks, carefully casual, "So, heard anything from everyone's least favourite super-freak lately?"

He focuses intently on wiping some drops of milkshake off the table. Emily frowns and says, "Casey? Not recently, sorry."

"That's a reason to be thankful, not sorry," he says, but he doesn't meet her eyes before walking off to another customer. Emily watches his back as he strides away, and she thinks that Derek has his own problems.

Still.

FILE UNDER: ex-boyfriends (Sheldon Shlepper), and awkward meetings

And then Jarrod comes down and it's exactly like Emily imagined it would be. Her parents love him, and he instantly becomes her brother's favourite person ever. It's the total polar opposite of Sheldon's first visit to her house, where he succeeded in breaking three plates from their best set, and accidentally squashed Dimi.

Even though it's going well, Jarrod is quieter than normal – nervous, he tells her, and every chance he gets, he holds her hand, or throws an arm around her shoulders, like he's looking for reassurance. Emily finds it completely adorable.

That first evening, they go for a walk, and Emily brings him to Smelly Nelly's, still busy. While Jarrod bags a table, she makes her way to the counter, only to stop as a familiar figure walks past.

"Sheldon?!"

There's a crash as he drops the tray of hot chocolates he's holding, and turns to face her.

"Emily?"

They stare at one another.

"What – are you doing here?" Emily asks.

"Oh – um," he begins.

"Everything okay, Em?" Jarrod calls from the table.

"...yeah," she calls back, then looks at Sheldon again. She blinks at the brown t-shirt he's wearing.

"Are you...working here?" she asks, completely confused. This isn't Newfoundland.

"Only temporarily," he says. Just then, Derek hustles by with a brush, which he holds out to Sheldon. Sheldon looks at the brush for a moment, before seeming to realise that he's standing ankle deep in hot-chocolate and broken mugs.

"Why don't I wait at our table?" Emily suggests.

Sheldon comes by a few minutes later to take their orders. She introduces him to Jarrod, and then, unable to contain herself any longer, she asks again –

"So, what brings you back here, Sheldon? It's a pretty long way from Newfoundland."

He stares at her, and for an awful, stomach-dropping moment, she's sure he's going to say, "You," and remind her of his completely crazy plan to return for her. She actually feels sick, because she doesn't know how to handle something like that without breaking Sheldon's heart.

But he blinks and says, "It's part of my campaign."

"Your campaign?" Jarrod asks.

"For student council," he confirms. "I'm running next year, and Derek's going to help me shoot my campaign video."

The words refuse to make any sense in Emily's brain.

"Aren't you starting a little early?" Jarrod asks. "I mean, elections won't be held until" –

"Preparation is the key to success," Sheldon interrupts him, almost knocking a woman off her feet as he swings his arm in a grand gesture.

"You came all the way from Newfoundland for Derek to shoot a campaign video for you?" Emily asks.

"It's all part of my strategy," he says enthusiastically. "Coming back to my hometown...it shows the student body who Sheldon Shlepper really is. And that," he holds up his index fingers, "gives Sheldon Shlepper an advantage in the elections."

It sounds utterly insane...and completely Sheldon.

"Well – good luck," Emily manages.

There's an awkward pause until Derek passes, and stage-whispers, "This is the part where you get their orders, Shlepper."

"Oh, right," Sheldon says, and hurries off to the kitchens.

"Interesting guy," Jarrod says, and raises his eyebrows.

Before Emily can jump in with, "He's really sweet," two things happen. Jarrod's cell phone starts ringing, and there's a spectacular crash from the kitchens. Emily, along with most of the other customers, turns around in her seat, while Jarrod slips out the door for some privacy.

Sheldon's back moments later with the order (wrong – but Emily doesn't say anything).

"So ...how are you?" he asks.

"Good," she says, and smiles encouragingly.

"Good. Good," he repeats, and nods. Suddenly he sits down in Jarrod's place, and leans across the table to her. "Emily," he begins in a very serious voice. Then stops.

"Yes?" she says.

"I don't – suppose that you..." he stares at her.

"That I...what?" She leans closer, caught by his intensity.

His mouth opens and closes a few times before he spits out, "Would you consider being a part of my campaign video?"

She blinks. Always expect the unexpected, she reminds herself, and shakes her head a little. "Um...sure, I guess."

"Great. Great!" he says. "I mean – Sheldon Shlepper...so great even his ex-girlfriend would vote for him!" He smiles at her, then up at Jarrod, who has returned and is standing in front of the table.

There's a long moment where Jarrod just looks at him, waiting for him to realise that –

"Right! This is your seat. Sorry." He gets up, and Jarrod slides into the seat. He reaches out immediately and takes hold of Emily's hand – the new, needy Jarrod, though she doesn't see what he has to be nervous of here.

"So, Emily...I guess I'll see you around," Sheldon says, almost uncertainly.

"Sure," she smiles.

FILE UNDER: ex-boyfriends (Sheldon Shlepper) and ongoing issues (Shlepper-ness)

The next few days, they do see a lot of Sheldon. The front of the Venturis' house seems to be his base of operations, and every time they walk by Derek is filming something new and weird. Jarrod is totally captivated by the whole thing, and they spend a lot of time on the sidewalk, watching girls in cheerleading outfits, mimes and a truly bewildering assortment of animals slowly wreak havoc on the Venturi front lawn. Marti and Dimi set up a lemonade stand, and rely on their combined cuteness factor to sell an astonishing quantity of watered down lemonade.

"How much is he paying you for this?" Emily asks Derek one day.

Derek stares at the dogs wearing 'Vote Sheldon' around their necks, and refusing to remain still no matter how Sheldon tries to bribe them.

"Not enough," he says.

A few days later, they're watching an astonishing number of kids with pan-pipes set up camp around Sheldon. The lemonade stand has broken up due to a dispute over division of labour versus division of profits.

"Say what you want – that guy is not boring," Jarrod says, slinging an arm around Emily's neck.

"No," she agrees, with a small smile. "He never was."

When Sheldon passes by with a clipboard, Jarrod calls out, "Hey, dude –what's with all the instruments?"

Sheldon stops, and says, "They're a new band – the P-Pipes...I've been working on getting them some exposure. It's all part of the campaign...Sheldon Shlepper – supporter of the Arts."

Jarrod's phone rings, and he moves away to answer it. She watches him go with a frown before turning back to Sheldon and asking, "The P-Pipes?"

"Yeah – and they're pretty rockin', if I do say so myself." He stops. "Hey – Emily, you could record your piece now, if you want. One of the mimes has laryngitis, so he's out of the frame for today."

"I couldn't," she says quickly. "I mean, I haven't learned my lines" –

"There aren't any lines," Sheldon interrupts. He catches hold of her arm and pulls her towards Derek. "This is going to be a totally unrehearsed look at the kind of people who support Sheldon Shlepper."

"Except for the fire-throwers," Derek interrupts.

"Well, yeah, but that's a safety issue. You can't have spontaneous fire-throwing. That's just irresponsible," Sheldon pauses. "And the pan-pipe tribute. You have to rehearse that. And the mimes" –

"So maybe it would be better if I had a script to follow," Emily says, trying to turn back.

"No! No! Just...share your thoughts on – me."

Suddenly, Emily is blinking in front of the camera.

"Okay –go!"

"Um...I..." she looks at Sheldon for help.

"Just tell everyone – how you feel about me," he advises.

"But keep it clean," Derek says. "I've had to edit out almost all of mime ten's speech."

Emily stares into the camera. "Um. Well. Sheldon Shlepper. What...can I say?" The question isn't rhetorical, but Sheldon just makes a 'go on' gesture when Emily looks helplessly off to the side.

"Sheldon's...a great guy," she says finally, then jumps when someone's arm snakes around her waist.

"He sure is," Jarrod says, looking straight at the camera. "I'd vote for him – and I've just met him. Vote Shlepper, everybody!"

"How was that?" he asks Derek, then turns to Sheldon.

"Yeah. That was – okay," he says, a bit stiffly. "I mean, I can't guarantee anything. There are lighting and sound considerations. We may not be able to use it. Right, Derek?"

"Yeah. If you say so," Derek says, fiddling with the camera.

"Okay," Jarrod says easily. "Well, if you need us for any re-shoots, we're there. But right now, we've got to go, or we'll be late for the movies. Right, Em?"

"Right," she agrees, but turns back to say, "Hey – good luck with the P-Pipes!"

The look on Derek's face is priceless.

FILE UNDER: ex-boyfriends (Jarrod Jackson), worst breakups ever (#1)

A few evenings later and Emily and Jarrod are curled up on her couch, making the most of the weekly McDonald-Venturi & Davis book club/playdate, sharing a bowl of popcorn and watching TV, when his cell phone rings. Emily frowns, because that's been happening a lot.

Jarrod pulls the phone out of his pocket, looks at the screen for a second, then pushes a button. The ringing stops.

"Why didn't you answer it?" Emily asks. There's a weird feeling in her stomach.

He shrugs. "I didn't recognise the number." He doesn't meet her eyes.

"Jarrod – what's wrong?" she asks. "You've been acting really weird lately, and you're always on your phone" –

"It's nothing," he interrupts. "Can we just watch this?" He runs a hand through his hair. He still won't look at her.

The sick feeling in Emily's stomach grows. "No," she says. "Something's wrong. Tell me."

Finally, he does look at her, this awful scared expression on his face, and it all drops into place.

"It's another girl," she says suddenly. Her body knows it's true, but she just sits there, waiting for him to deny it.

"Em, I am so sorry," he says, and he catches her hand.

All she can think of to say is, "Oh." It takes her a second to realize that she shouldn't let him hold her hand. She pushes herself to her feet, away from him. There's pounding in her ears...it's like the first time he asked her out – she can see his lips moving, but she can't understand a single word he says.

"Who…um – who is she?" she chokes out.

"Emily…"

She just looks at him.

"Just someone I used to…an ex. But Em – Em, listen to me…she doesn't matter."

She stares at him in incomprehension.

"Emily," he says, "Em – just, please… listen to me. She doesn't matter to me, she's no-one – it was a mistake. I don't – you're the one I want."

That doesn't make any sense. If she's the one he wants, why would he…

"No," she says. "Go away."

She turns and runs, wrenching the door open, slamming it behind her, and she's running down the sidewalk, taking big gulps of air that hurt her throat and chest.

"Emily! Emily!" suddenly, he's in front of her, his hands on her shoulders, holding her in place. "Please – please listen to me, Em, just listen, okay?"

She pushes at his chest, but he's still holding on to her. "I did a stupid thing, okay? I made a terrible mistake – I know. And I have been so scared, Em – I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry, please" –

The words don't mean anything, they just make the pain in her chest worse. "Go away," she says again. "I don't want you here."

Suddenly, there's another voice, and someone is pushing himself between the two of them. Derek. He glances between the two of them and says, "Hey."

He sounds so normal it makes Emily blink. Neither of them say anything.

Derek sighs and says, "Okay. Let's try again. I'm going to Smelly Nelly's." Then, with a completely fake 'I've just had an idea' voice, "Hey, Em, you wanna come?"

Emily really doesn't want to know what this scene looks like for Derek to make the offer. She can't speak. She just nods at him.

"Emily...please..." Jarrod says, unsteadily. He sounds like he's just holding himself together, he sounds like he's going to cry. She's shocked to realise that she isn't.

"I can't," she says, swallowing down the ache in her throat. It's crazy, but it's hurting her even more to see him so upset.

"Hey, Jarrod – we'll see you later, huh?" Derek says in that same slow speaking-English-to-foreigners-voice. Not threatening, more...like a director, clueing in his actors. Derek puts a hand on her shoulder, and steers her away. They walk quietly, and Emily is grateful that Derek doesn't try to make her talk about it. Derek acting like nothing special has happened allows her to pretend that nothing has. The pain in her chest lessens a bit. She thinks, vaguely, that she must tell Casey about Derek, next time she phones. Of course, Casey will find some way to make Derek's behaviour seem insensitive. But right now, it's exactly what Emily wants.

Soon, they're in front of Smelly Nelly's, and Derek directs her inside, and deposits her at a table by the wall.

"Sit," he instructs, and she does. "Look – it's my shift, so..." he trails off. "Just..." He blows out a breath in frustration. He shakes his head and wheels off. Moments later he returns and puts a mug of coffee in front of her. Her chin wobbles a bit, and she stares at the table until she has it under control.

Emily sits there and watches her coffee get cold and concentrates on not crying.

She doesn't know how long she's been sitting there, but all of a sudden, Sheldon is looking down at her.

"-okay?" he says.

"Hi Sheldon," she says quietly. "Are you working this evening too?" Everything seems far away, like she's watching it happen from Mars.

"Oh –no. No. Just...hanging out," he says. He hesitates. "Are you okay?"

She catches his eye for a moment, and has to look away quickly. She shakes her head.

He slides in next to her. "Can I help? Can I get you anything? More coffee? Ice-cream? Do you want ice-cream? What kind? Strawberry? Chocolate? Vanilla? Just name the flavour, and I will get it for you, Emily." The set of his shoulders is determined, and he tenses like he's ready to move on her word. He's clutching a red binder in his hands. Her knight in dorky armour, Emily thinks.

"No. Thanks," she interrupts. "Just..." she doesn't know whether she wants him to go, or to stay, so she doesn't finish the sentence.

"Okay," he says slowly. He doesn't move, though, just stays sitting next to her. He's quiet except for the sound of his fingers drumming on the red binder. But it's Sheldon. It's inevitable that -

"So..." he says finally.

"Don't," Emily mumbles.

She turns her face into his shoulder and closes her eyes. After a second, his arm hesitantly wraps around her.

FILE UNDER: done. Finished. Over. The end.

She goes home eventually. Sheldon walks with her, and when they get near her house she can see the front light is on and Jarrod is sitting on her front step, head bowed and hands dangling between his knees. She slows and Sheldon stops.

"It's okay, Sheldon. I can take it from here," she says, and tries to smile.

"I can stay," he says awkwardly. "If you want."

"No," she shakes her head. "I should – I should do this." She looks at him for a long moment, delaying the inevitable, and says, "Thanks."

"Anytime," he assures her, before seeming to consider what he just said. "I mean – I'm not saying that I enjoy" –

"It's okay, Sheldon," she says, because it is. Sheldon's heart is in the right place, even if his words usually aren't. She manages a slightly better smile this time, and after a sympathetic hand squeeze, he nods and turns away. Emily watches him go for a second, before walking slowly forward.

Jarrod doesn't look up until she's right in front of him. When he does meet her eyes, the miserable look on his face makes her want to hold him and make him feel better.

But she knows how this movie ends, courtesy of her front row seat during Casey and Truman; One Last Last Chance. He even uses some of the same lines –

"Em – I swear, it was one dumb mistake. This – us – it got so serious, so fast, and I got scared, I got stupid…but I love you, okay? I love you and I would never, ever do anything to hurt you."

"But you did," she says steadily. "And…I think you should go."

It doesn't come out angry – it's a simple statement of fact. The second she said 'It's another girl', she knew it was over. Nothing's going to change that.

He drives back to Toronto, even though it's late.

She has to squash the urge to call and make sure he got home safe.

Her mom makes her hot chocolate and defrosts a slice of her special triple fudge cake. Her dad gives her one of his long hugs and rocks her from side to side, one hand cradled behind her head, which makes her feel like she's seven again. Dimi even stops being his obnoxious ten year old self and gives her unrestricted access to the television.

And that's it. The end of Emily Davis' first real love affair. She thinks she's handled it pretty well, all things considered. She didn't even cry.

That is, until four am the next morning, when she wakes up and realizes that her heart's broken into a million sharp pieces and they're scraping her insides painfully every time she breathes.

Then she cries.

She doesn't think she's ever going to stop.