*Note: this chapter contains bashing for almost every girl that Ash ever met who wasn't Misty . . . well not every girl, but a large portion of them.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Pokémon. I do not own Dracula's (which are totally awesome by the way – I've been twice!). Um, I'm not sure what else I don't own in this yet.

I consider this a twist on a typical fanfic – the one where a guy (or girl) pretends to date someone in order to make another person jealous and in the midst of this finds they have feelings for their pretend date. Hope you like.

Game-Set-Match

I. The Set Up . . .

"Misty, I need a date," Brock Slate pleaded desperately to one of his closest friends. He looked at her almost longingly, praying she would comply.

"No," Misty Waterflower replied bluntly, her response carefully practiced. Ash Ketchum, who was lazed languidly on the couch near by, scoffed as he briefly looked up from the TV to attend to the interaction.

"Misty it's not what you think . . ." Brock began, but Misty cut him off before he could continue.

"Brock it's exactly what I think," the redhead replied. "I wouldn't even subject you to my worst enemy, let alone one of my friends."

"But it's not like it would be a 'date' date," Brock tried to explain, immediately receiving an incredulous look from the redhead. "It just has to look like a date. That way, if other people see me with a girl, they'll think that someone else is interested in me and then - abracadabra presto – I'm eligible.

"Girls always want what they can't have," he finished wisely.

Ash winced for Brock's sake. He could just imagine what Misty had in store for him after a comment like that.

Misty sighed, feeling sorry for her older companion who was now twenty-one years old and completely incapable of nabbing himself a date. "Who is it you're trying to impress this time?" she asked ruefully, glaring at Ash from the corner of her eye. The dark haired teen seemed taken aback by her reaction and logically assumed his girlfriend would get her revenge later.

"Suzy," Brock replied with a sigh of his own. "She says I'm not 'boyfriend material' – like I'm even supposed to know what that means! It's not like I'm psychic," he explained sadly, his shoulders drooping as he thought of his business partner and friend who was constantly rebuking his attempts to take their relationship that little step further.

"I just thought that if she were to see me with someone else in a boyfriend type situation, then she would know she was wrong about me," he said with a weak smile. "I just need someone to pretend that we're on a date with me. I promise I won't even think of it as a real date. I won't even think of her as a girl. I'll even pay for dinner."

"You can take Misty if you like," Ash suggested, generously offering his own girlfriend from the couch. He probably would've considered reprising the role of Ashley for a free meal, but this seemed the safer option. "It'd be easy then because you already don't think of Misty as a girl." This earned him another less-than-playful glare from his girlfriend, making it even clearer that he was in for some serious pain later.

"It wouldn't work," Brock replied. "Everyone already knows that you two are going out."

"Not for much longer," Misty muttered looking at her boyfriend in a very threatening manner.

"Aww c'mon Myst, you know I love ya," the boy replied with a sly grin that warmed her heart. He always knew just what to say to avoid punishment from her mallet, and she really did mean the world to him in ways he couldn't even begin to describe.

"So, Misty? What do you say?" Brock said, bringing them back to original purpose of the conversation.

Misty sighed, shaking her head at herself. She couldn't believe she was agreeing to this, but what choice did she have. Brock was one of her best friends and she owed him. Not to mention the extent of blackmail material he had to laud over her head.

"When do you need her by?" she asked, his displeasure more than evident.

"This Friday," Brock replied. "Suzy is going to this weird restaurant/cabaret thing for one of her friend's hens night. I need someone whose really going to impress given that all her friends will be there too."

"Cabaret? What's the name of the place?" Misty asked, suddenly intrigued and sounding almost enthusiastic.

"Dracula's or something," Brock said absently, not really caring what the place was called or why Misty was interested. "It's supposed to be a 'Haunting Macabre of Comedy, Music and Food'," he added sarcastically as if reading directly from the advertisement.

"You throw in a couple of tickets Brock-o," Misty said enthusiastically, holding out her hand, "and you've got yourself a deal."

Brock smiled, taking her outstretched hand in his own. "It's a date."

Misty sighed as she tried to determine three important factors. The first was which of her friends would actually be available for dates, that is, single. The second factor was concerned with which of her friends would be willing to date Brock – we shall call these the undiscerning. The third was which of her friends would impress Suzy and her lot when she showed up Dracula's, dragging Brock along like the lovesick puppy he was. It was vitally important the person of choice was able to meet all three of these categories.

Take May and Dawn, for example. The two of them could be impressive date's for Brock to drag along – May for her high rank as a co-ordinator and Dawn on an almost purely looks basis. However, they both failed on criteria two and May also on criteria one. There's no way either girl would even consider dating Brock, especially May who was currently dating either Drew or Brendan (Misty found it impossible to keep up with that girls love life).

She doubted that anybody who had ever spent an extended period of time with Brock would ever consider spending an evening with him in a date type situation. This led her inevitably to her next port of call – who among her girlfriends had Brock never met and therefore never had the opportunity to completely ruin his chances with already?

Casey was an immediate thought – Misty suspected that the misguided baseball fan was just desperate enough to consider Brock a suitable prospect. All that was required was for Misty to tell Casey that one of Brock's siblings trained with her beloved Electabuzz. Brock had so many siblings it could potentially be true.

Of course, Casey failed almost magnificently when it came to criteria three. She wasn't much to look at in the way Dawn could be impressive without actually doing anything. And she wasn't talented in the way May was that made her impressive to deal with, although they could be equally annoying. Casey certainly left an impression on people, but not necessarily in a good way.

Suzy would see right through that one.

The fact that Brock had left them in the Orange Islands for the skirt did open things up to her. She'd made a few good friends on her journey, and a couple of acquaintances that might even consider the prospect of a blind date fun.

Melody might have been a good choice if not for the fact that in spite of outward appearances, Misty really and truly did despise the overly friendly musician with every fibre in her being and would rather poke her own eyes out with forks then spend an evening with her. The girls voice was too high. Her eyes were the wrong shade of something. And she always insisted on wearing the most ridiculous low cut tops that could be called into existence.

Misty suspected that Melody felt exactly the same way about Misty as Misty felt about her and that all this was intentional – especially the bit about the low cut tops. She reckoned the Orange Islands native still had her eyes set on Ash and would take every opportunity to one-up Misty around her boyfriend of two years.

While no dud in the looks department and having a unique talent with regards to the shell thing, which Misty had never bothered to discover the name of due to her dislike (thus satisfying criteria three), the girl bombed out in the single and undiscerning categories. Given that she clearly harboured UNREQUITED feelings for MISTY'S BOYFRIEND she was neither in a position that made her available to date Brock, nor made her a willing participant.

The fact that Misty hated the girl with the fire of a million suns barely had to play a part in her decision making here.

But thinking about Melody was handy in its own way, because it led her to Prima. A lot of Suzy's friends were Pokémon trainers, and they were sure to be impressed by a gym leader – especially one that was part of the Orange Crew . . . provided that they had heard of her. For the life of her Misty couldn't remember whether or not Prima was currently single given her rocky relationship with Lance of all people.

There was one further aspect of Prima that might make her a poor choice, that is, certain "assets" of Prima's that would undoubtedly send any man into a similar state to Brock's girl crazy mode. There was no way that Suzy would consider Brock boyfriend material, no matter how impressive Prima's "assets", if she came across him drooling over Prima in a rather unflattering fashion.

But gym leaders were definitely the way to go, Misty had determined, using the logic of Prima as a starting point. The female gym leaders in Kanto especially had a reputation for discerning tastes – they only dated the best. Misty herself fell into that discerning category, what with her boyfriend being the youngest Pokémon Master along with various other impressive titles. Her sisters only dated other gym leaders, bar Daisy who had unfathomably gotten her sights set on a certain Pokémon watcher cum leading researcher cum now famous artist – in spite of her strange preference, Daisy still hadn't diverged from the rule.

But who? That was the question now.

Her sisters were out of the question. Violet was currently dating Lieutenant Surge (which Misty thought was an even stranger combination that Daisy and Tracy) and although Lily was currently single (having recently called it quits with Danny, and Misty still having no idea how the two had even met) it was most unlikely she would agree. Yes, Brock was a gym leader and therefore Lily's type, but Lily had also had the unfortunate providence of meeting Brock on several occasions. Even with the years worth of useful blackmail Misty had stored up, this was not something that Lily – or any of her sisters – would agree to.

Erika was still single, but Misty didn't think it was a particularly good match. Even though she knew this wasn't a real date, she felt inclined to make a good match. Brock and Erika had nothing in common other than the fact that they were both gym leaders.

Erika definitely wasn't Brock's type – years of pulling the boy off anything in a skirt had taught her a thing or two. The first was that it had taught her to perfect her crabby like grip and had given her extra upper body strength. The second was that Brock had a marked preference for older woman. Ivy, Brock's most successful relationship to date, was close to twenty years his senior; where as Suzy, the current object of his affections, was eight years older than Brock (and a helluva lot more mature).

And that's when she knew she had it. A slightly older gym leader (five years Brock's senior) who was pretty, intelligent and fun and even more impressive than most gym leaders you could come across given that she was the also the most powerful human psychic in the known world.

A gym leader who, although having met Brock in the past, was unlikely to recall their initial meeting. Furthermore Brock was so scared shitless at the time (what with being turned into a doll) that it didn't even occur to him to try and persuade her to spend the rest of her life with him.

A gym leader who was almost as terminally single as Brock himself.

She was perfect.

Misty dialed the number for the Saffron Gym with relish, applauding herself for coming to this foregone conclusion. Sabrina was perfect. Not only did Sabrina meet all three of Misty's criteria, she was someone that Misty actually liked (her, Sabrina and Erika had become quite close on her return to Cerulean uniting as the only female gym leaders in Kanto), she was clearly Brock's type, and as the only two gym leaders to show an interest in Pokémon outside of their type that gave them more than enough to talk about.

That of course wasn't the only thing they had in common, but this was only a pretend date meaning Misty was allowed to think about it at a superficial level – although how that differed from her reasons for disregarding Brock and Erika is beyond me.

"Misty," Sabrina said, answering the phone before it had even let out a single ring and identifying the caller without the aid of video screen. Misty didn't think she would ever get used to that – it had to be one of Sabrina's coolest party tricks. The coolest party trick was undoubtedly the ability to make all of the host/hostess' undergarments spontaneously switch places with their outer garments.

Good times. It wasn't a good party unless Sabrina was around to play a few telepathic pranks.

"Forget it Misty," Sabrina said, reading her friends surface thoughts. Sabrina never delved further than that unless it was completely necessary. It was not difficult to shield one's surface thoughts and so Sabrina concluded that leaving your surface thoughts unshielded was just asking for them to be read.

"You could at least give me a moment to prepare myself first," Misty pouted, glaring playfully at her friend. Of course, she had no intention of shielding the thoughts – she didn't think it was fair to subject anybody to Brock without proper warning.

"And that Misty, was mean," Sabrina added. "Isn't Brock one of your best friends or something?"

"Which means I know exactly what he's like," Misty replied quickly. "Once he goes into his girl crazy mode he's actually kind of scary."

"You mean where he starts spurting random pick up lines?" Sabrina asked, her blue eyes seeming to fill with glee as she laughed to herself. "I thought that was the funniest thing. He has a new one every time I see him, and they are so corny I almost die with laughter."

"Wait, what?" Misty asked, her eyes narrowing with confusion. "When did he hit on you? I thought you guys only met the one time."

"He's breeding my Kadabra," the psychic replied, rolling her eyes at Misty. "I visit Kadabra on weekends so we don't lose the link.

"What was the one he said?" she continued, taking a moment to herself to try and recall. "How did it go? Um . . . it was something like . . . 'I think I have amnesia. Do I come here often?' You had to be there."

"How long has this been going on and why was I not informed?" Misty asked indignantly, blinking wide-eyed at her friend.

"I told you I was breeding Kadabra," Sabrina said. She sensed Misty's thoughts and continued. "He's the top breeder in Kanto, who else would I take my Pokémon to?"

"I guess it never occurred to me," Misty said finally, still frowning. "I always just think of him as Brock, you know? I like, grew up with him and it's hard to see him sometimes as this uber successful business type breeder person."

Sabrina shook her head at her, looking like a mother scolding a naughty child. "You don't give him enough credit," she said, a playful look in her eyes.

Misty looked hopeful for a moment, but Sabrina quickly cut her off before she could finish formulating that thought. "I'm still not doing it," Sabrina said. "Not because it's Brock, but because it's cruel to try and manipulate someone into liking you by using another person."

"But you're the most perfect person for it," the redhead whined. "Especially now that I know Brock's breeding your Pokémon. Because you guys have been hanging out at the breeding centre, it'll look like an actual date."

Sabrina blushed as she tried to find the words to protest. Misty's eyes widened upon seeing this and she immediately shielded her thoughts, even going so far as to shield the fact that she was shielding her thoughts so Sabrina wouldn't pick up on it.

Clearly the psychic was refusing on the grounds Misty assumed, but for completely different reasons.

Misty was surprised by what she had just discovered. Her serious, intelligent and mature friend had a thing for her goofy, girl-crazy best friend. In fact, now that she thought about it, it made complete sense that Sabrina could be the only person who could fall for Brock – she was so serious herself that she hardly took anything seriously, including a desperate plea from Brock that he marry her on the spot or die trying.

And once you got past that, Brock wasn't so bad.

Misty briefly recalled sleeping over at Sabrina's gym with her and Erika, and playing all the stupid kids games you play at sleepovers. There had been a round of truth or dare and upon choosing 'truth' (because Sabrina was able to make calculated choices and avoid all the worst dares) was asked to describe her perfect guy – he was tall, dark and handsome; funny; a good cook; great with kids and Pokémon; and a hard worker. In light of her newfound knowledge, Misty was not surprised to find that the description fitted Brock perfectly.

She could not believe that Brock Slate was Sabrina LaFay's perfect man.

So Misty quickly formulated a plan.

"It's not really about making her jealous," Misty explained. "It's not even showing her what she's missing."

"Oh sure," the psychic replied, rolling her eyes once again.

"'Really," Misty continued. "Suzy reckons he's not 'boyfriend material," Misty explained, rolling her own eyes at the expression. She knew it was a ridiculous excuse. Ash certainly wasn't what anybody would call 'boyfriend material' by a long stretch, but they were able to make do somehow. She guessed they sort of complemented each other and that's what was important.

Sabrina did not look convinced, even as Misty's thoughts on Suzy seemed to bubble to the surface. Feeling quite protective of Brock even though she viewed him as an older brother or sorts, Misty had grown quite suspicious of Suzy ever since they had gotten into business together. She felt as though Suzy had Brock doing all the work, while she took all the glory, and he wouldn't do a thing about it because he would do whatever the pretty girl told him.

She reckoned that was why Suzy always had a handy excuse for turning him down rather than outright telling him that she wasn't interested. Suzy was probably worried her power over Brock would not hold if she was to make it clear what his chances were.

"It's just about showing her that she was wrong about him," Misty said with a sad smile. "And I kind of want if for him too. I know even I've been guilty of thinking of Brock as too much of a goofball for someone to think of him romantically, but Suzy took it too far with that comment."

Sabrina sighed. Misty had her with that one and they both knew it. Compassion and sympathy was a bitch, and sometimes she wished that her emotions were still locked in that doll so that she could avoid being led by them.

"Ok," she said ruefully. "I'll make the arrangements."

Misty smiled. "We're all going to Dracula's on Friday so it won't be so bad," Misty said happily. "Ash and I will be there, and I know you've been dying to see it for ages. It's all I've heard you talk about since it opened and now you've finally got someone to go with."

"Yeah, yeah, Misty," Sabrina said blandly, her eyes narrowing. "Stop gloating before I go delve a little deeper, alright?"

The redhead was silenced. Sabrina was always serious about her threats, and her threats were always serious. She smiled sheepishly as she said farewell to her friend and made some intricate plans of her own.

~ to be continued ~

Only two parts to this one - it's short a sweet. My favourite line in the whole thing is that one about Dawn, that she could be impressive without actually doing anything. Sorry if I've offended your favourite characters in Misty's speal there, but Misty doesn't play well with others and is brutally honest in some ways. I hold no ill-will towards the Misty-clones (in spite of the fact that I refer to them as Misty-clones) I just find them handy targets every now and then and Casey was so asking for it.

Please review. Parts of this story were inspired by a deleted scene of Doctor Who (Tenth doctor 1st season) which might give a hint or two towards the twist. I feel quite pleased with myself for even thinking of it.