A/N: I was initially just going to make this a oneshot, because I saw the massive crossover update and had to be a whore for it. But now, I think I shall have to continue. Pretty sure I'm the first to hit this pairing, so I'll have to hit it right. Critique welcome, but somewhat silly, don't you think?

Fun Fact: I'm presently sending a request to have Chu added to the Yu Yu Hakusho character list. Poor Chu. So underloved.

Warnings: Nudity, language. No sex yet. X3

Paper, Scissors, Rock

by Hillary E. G. Brown

(Various other usernames)

Once upon a time, a young girl from the future released a half-demon boy from an enchanted sleep.

They journeyed together, far and wide, to collect pieces of a powerful jewel and stop a nefarious enemy, forging new and powerful friendships along the way.

The whole thing was a virtual recipe for romance--except, well, that half-demon wasn't exactly Mr. Right.

Nor was he Mr. Wrong.

In fact, he was what Kagome liked to regard as 'Mr. Wrong With A Severe Case of Schizophrenia and a 2x4.'

His eventual wife disagreed with her, of course, but the woman had, after all, been only recently un-undead.

Courtesy of Kagome herself, as a matter of fact.

Hey, she told the others, brushing off concerned sentiments, she's been to Hell. She can deal with him a lot better than I can.

And that was that, because everyone loved and trusted Kagome.

She was a sweet, self-sacrificing girl who could do no wrong.

It was that kind of thinking that drove her fucking crazy.

So she'd finally decided to spend some time in her world—the blessed world of automobiles, telecommunications, and indoor plumbing.

She thought it would be a welcome reprieve from dealing with snarky half-demons and clingy wolf princes.

In fact, it had only taken about a day for Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi to 'Poor Kagome' her into near-nervous breakdown.

Because, unfortunately, Hojou had a girlfriend.

A new and beautiful girlfriend to shower with orthopedic sandals and dead lizards.

And they wondered why she started laughing.

They had told her she was being entirely too laid back.

…That she absolutely had to find a boyfriend to validate her existence. (Though not in such reasonable terms.)

And when she did find one, they wanted to be the first to know, naturally!

When they finally left, Souta had taken all of three seconds to look over at his beloved sister, gather his imaginary cape around him, and begin chanting, 'Bleah! Bleah! We want you to suck someone oooooofff!'

Kagome nearly suffocated.

And so, at the enthusiastic urging of her brother, and a bit of help from the all-powerful Google, Kagome was off to one of the seediest bars they could find in the area, in hopes of finding someone to hire as her "New Boyfriend".

And now, somehow, here she was:

Naked and wrapped loosely in soft sheets and what felt like two very soft, very warm tree trunks.

She found herself wondering blearily if she'd slept with an ox last night.

An attempt at opening her eyes offered two more helpful pieces of information: The light burned, and she had been drinking.

She groaned at the pounding in her head, but cut herself off at the responding chuckle, "You too, eh, sheila?"

The light still hurt, but she opened her eyes anyway, looking up at her bed partner with narrowed eyes, "Mrph."

He was a big guy, all right, though that had been pretty obvious when she'd woken up that sore. He was scruffy, with a line of green across a tanned nose and big, friendly blue eyes. And a bright blue Mohawk. Couldn't overlook that.

She let her forehead fall back onto his chest.

"Ah, not a big talker?" He sounded a little disappointed, if still playful.

Suddenly, she felt guilty.

"Not a big drinker." She offered quietly, "Or very 'experienced', at all."

She added the last bit with some embarrassment.

"Ahhh," He rubbed her back gently in a way that she, surprisingly, did not mind at all, "'F it helps, I thought ya were just fine."

Her eyes widened comically before snapping shut at the assailing lights, "Unh! Turn off the sun, please!"

Another deep chuckle.

She liked that, she decided. It felt nice.

"Got a cure or two might help with that."

"Mmmmm." She mumbled lazily as he shifted out from under her.

She curled into his vacated spot, basking in the warmth and peeking out from under the comforter to sneak a peek at his retreating backside.

Damn.

For a first-timer, she'd done damn well for herself.

His name was Chu.

He was a demon, and a master of something he called the "Drunken Fighter" technique.

He had a cute accent, a great sense of humor, and he held her hair back while she worshipped the porcelain god.

And, for once, there was someone displaying interest in her that actually looked male.

Fortunately, this did not prevent a healthy dose of post-wretch cuddling…which he didn't seem to mind at all.

A/N: Please bear in mind that this was not undertaken as a serious project, but it is something I have enjoyed and hope to continue. Do avoid nastiness.

Soon to come:

-Yuka, Eri, Ayumi, and Hojou.

-The Higurashis. (And Grandpa's near-seizure)

-The Shard-hunting gang.

-The Spirit Detectives, et al.

-*Mystery* :3