A/N: This is my first story for this fandom...So I guess we'll see how it goes. This is just some stuff that happened at my school's rehearsals of Oliver! this past winter. It's basically just us goofing around, and none of the stuff is that serious. Our Dodger and Mr/Mrs. Brownlow were both played by girls. I was a Londoner with two extra lines.
Scene 1: In Which the Music People are a Bit Late With Their Cue
Everybody: WHEN THEY HEAR OOM..PAH..PAH!
(Everybody begins cheering loudly and swinging their plastic mugs around wildly.)
Bill Sykes: -barges through door-
Random Drunk Lady: Bill Sykes!
(The techies seem to be off today, so Bill stands around waiting for the music for My Name to start. After about five seconds, he gets bored, and starts doing some random dance.)
Director: No! Bill, wait for the music to start BEFORE coming in!
Bill: Sorry! -turns around and walks back out the door-
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Scene 2: In Which Nancy Doesn't Get to Finish Her Line
Bill: -grabs Nancy-
Nancy: No! I swear I -
Bill: -throws Nancy on ground-
Director: Let her finish her line BEFORE you kill her!
Nancy: Can I start writhing around on the ground in the pit? -starts twitching uncontrollably-
Director: NO.
---
Scene 3: In Which Dodger Has Some Gender Issues (I would like to point out that our Dodger was played by a girl)
Dodger: -getting dressed- I'm ready for my close-up! -starts to walk out of the room-
Mrs. Bedwin: Your earrings are still in.
Thief: Cross-dressing Artful Dodger!
Dodger: -takes earrings out hastily- You never saw anything!
(Dodger then proceeds to run out of the dressing room, until she realizes that she's only got one shoe on)
Dodger: -hops back into room-
Me: Forget something? -holds up other shoe-
Dodger: Thank you!
(Dodger grabs the shoe, shoves her foot into it, and then runs out of the room...again.)
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Scene 4: In Which Bill Has a Memory Lapse
(Right before London Bridge, I'm waiting for my cue, and Bill is playing with the props on the table)
Me: Bill! Don't you have a murder to commit?
Bill: Oh, right! -straightens coat-
Me: Oh, god. Just go!
Bill: Alright, alright! -pauses- Break a leg.
Me: Ditto
Bill and I: -high five each other-
---
Scene 5: In Which the Orphans Are Unable to do a Kick-line
Director: Alright! All orphans, go outside into the lobby until you can get your kick-line right!
(The orphans go out in the hall, but instead of practicing, they spend the next ten minutes running around)
Widow Corney: STOP! You guys! We open in a WEEK! Get it together!
One of the orphans (Sean): Dang...Calm down woman.
Widow Corney: Don't tell me to calm down! You're the sorry lot who needs to get it together!
(The orphans proceed to practice the kick line until it's stuck in their heads for the rest of their lives.)
---
Scene 5: In Which One of the Tables in the Workhouse is Broken
Director: Alright, the table on the left is broken. Derek, when you run across, be careful, kay?
Derek (featured dancer): Sure!
(The orphans march down the aisle and begin to sing and dance to Food, Glorious Food. Soon it is time for Derek to run across the table)
Derek: -begins running-
(The table begins to fold upwards, and Derek is only halfway across)
Derek: AHH! -sprints across the rest of the table)
Director: We are so going to need to fix that.
----
Scene 6: In Which the Dinner at Rehearsal Results in a Grape War
(Everyone is eating dinner out in the hall. Dinner consists of pizza and grapes.)
Nancy: Hey, Bet! Catch! -throws grape-
Bet: -opens mouth-
(The grape misses and hits Mr. Bumble)
Mr. Bumble: Hey! -looks around- Who did that! -picks up grape and throws it at Widow Corney-
Widow Corney: Aghh! -throws grape at Mrs. Bedwin-
Mrs. Bedwin: STOP! -throws grape at Dodger-
Dodger: What've you got against me? -throws grape at Oliver-
Oliver: DODGER! -throws grape back at Dodger-
(A large grape war begins. Grapes end up all over the hallway floor, and most are squished. In the middle of this grape throwing, one of them hits Bill right in the eye.)
Bill: HEY! Which one of you threw that?
Everyone: -points at someone else-
Bill: Fine. Be that way. But I am NOT cleaning this mess up!
----
Scene 7: In Which the Locket That Widow Corney Needs is Gone
Mrs. Brownlow (ours was a girl): I forgot my locket!
Director: Oh great...Well, find something else to replace it!
Mrs. Brownlow: Alright! We need to find something to replace my locket before 7:00!
(Everyone begins searching the backstage area for any necklaces or lockets to use)
Rose seller: I found a clip on locket!
Mrs. Brownlow: It'll have to do! Thanks!
Bill: I've got a gun. -holds plastic gun up-
Me: Put the gun down!
---
Scene 8: In Which Bill Gets Really Mad at One of the Techies
Bill: Jen is so stupid!
Me: What happened?
Bill: She was running behind the curtain hitting it with Old Sally's cane!
Me: Oh god.
Bill: -puts head in hands- I don't know what to do!
Me: Well, for one, stand up taller. Now, go out there and give the audience a performance they'll never forget!
Bill: Alrighty, then. -walks off-
Me: -quietly- Love you too.
----
Scene 9: In Which Bill Sykes and I Have an Interesting Meeting in the Dark, and I Finally Realize Something (this happened at the rehearsal right before the one mentioned above)
(Walking backstage behind the curtain, I bump into something, or rather, someone)
Me: Bill?
Bill: Kayla?
Me: You scared me!
Bill: It's what I do best!
Me: In your dreams!
Bill: Oh really?
(Bill grabs my arms and forces me against the back wall)
Bill: Are you scared now?
Me: No.
Bill: Well, I'll keep trying. -walks off-
Me: Oh my god. I think I'm falling in love.