A/N: This is my first time actually publishing a story on here, although I have been an avid reader for quite some time! I've been in the process of writing somewhat of a Liley "epic", but don't want to start posting until I'm somewhere near being done since I tend to suffer from long bouts of writer's block. In the meanwhile I thought I'd publish this one-shot that I actually wrote back around Christmas. There has been such a drought in terms of Liley fics lately, I'm hoping it will be welcome around here! I'm still not completely satisfied with it, as I feel there is just something missing. Feedback welcomed!
Disclaimer: The characters in this story are, sadly, not owned by me.
Your Heart
Robbie Ray Stewart leaned back on the sofa and smiled in contentment as he took in the scene before him. Next to him sat his eldest, his son Jackson with his wife Julie. Across from them, sitting by the fire and strumming on her guitar, was his baby girl. His Miley. Lending vocal accompaniment was a cluster of children – four to be exact, ranging in age from twelve to four and all with the same chocolate brown hair save the youngest, who was a fiery little girl with a shocking mess of blonde locks.
"Oh what fun it is to riding in a one horse open sleigh!" They belted out the last line of the song to a round of applause from the adults. Miley grinned and put her guitar down.
"Great job y'all! I think that was even better than last year! What do you think Dad?"
"Yeah Grandpa, what did you think?! Were we the best ever?" The little blonde bounced up and down excitedly.
"Well come here darlin'" Robbie Ray motioned to his granddaughter and drew her into his lap. "Rosie, I do believe that was the best Christmas singin' I've heard yet."
Julie smiled from the end of the couch, "I think Grandpa's right. And I also think it's time to get some of ya'll into bed."
"Aww mom!" The oldest complained, "You and dad said I could stay up this year!"
"You're right Jack. I was talking about the rest of the kids. Susie, Norah –"
"Mommy, please can we stay up a little longer?" Norah, the second youngest, begged.
"Yeah, just for one story?" Susie chimed in. "Aunt Miley can tell it!"
"Well…" Julie looked doubtfully at her sister-in-law, "Whaddya say Aunt Miley?"
Miley just smiled at the expectant children, "Should I go and get The Night Before Christmas?"
Jack rolled his eyes, "That's lame."
"Jackson, Jr., you be nice to your aunt." Jackson warned his oldest son.
"Sorry Aunt Miles, I meant to say, you should tell us your own story."
Now it was Miley's turn to look doubtful, "My own story? I'm not sure Jack-o, I don't really have anything planned out."
"Come on Aunt Miley! Tell us a love story!" Susie suggested.
"A story about love, huh?"
"Yeah and Christmas!" Norah added.
"Love and Christmas…" Miley sighed. Rosie, the baby of the group, left her Grandfather's lap and moved into Miley's. "Come on Mommy," she whispered. "You can do it."
"Alright," Miley consented, at the feel of her daughter's warm little body curled up against her own. She kissed the top of Rose's head. "This is a story about a Christmas that happened many years ago. Almost before any of you were born. And it takes place right here, in Tennessee!"
"Right here?" Norah asked. The kids were again all clustered on the floor, around Miley, now listening attentively.
"Yup, right here. I was on winter break, in my second year of college at UCLA and Jackson and Julie had just had little Jack and invited everyone out here to stay with them for Christmas. My best friend Lilly's mom and her new husband were spending the holidays on a cruise in the Caribbean, so I invited her to come along."
Twelve years earlier
"Miley, are you sure I'm not imposing? I feel like I'm imposing." Lilly asked as she tossed her suitcase onto the security scanner.
Miley rolled her eyes and turned to her friend, "Lilly, for the hundredth time, you are not imposing! I asked you, remember?"
"Yeah, but, maybe you were just asking because you felt sorry for me or whatever … And I would totally understand if –"
"Lilly!" Miley cut her off as they continued through security and headed towards their boarding gate. "Okay, yeah, I felt bad about you having to spend Christmas with your dad and that evil stepmother of yours."
"Ha! I knew it!" Lilly interrupted, pointing an accusatory finger at Miley, "You did feel sorry for me!"
"Would ya let me finish?"
"Sorry! Go on, go on."
"But I wanted you to come. Besides, you're my family too, Lills."
"Aww," Lilly turned to Miley, "Miley, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
Miley grinned and patted Lilly's shoulder, "Don't cry."
Lilly sniffed, "Right. Not crying."
"Anyway, now that Jackson and Julie are playing house, I could use the company."
"Yeah, I can't believe that Jackson's a dad!"
"Now there's a scary thought!" The two girls giggled and continued on towards the plane that would take them cross country.
* * * *
The two girls were lying side by side in a large double bed. The lights were all off, the entire house silent.
"It's cold in Tennessee!" Lilly commented. "I mean I knew it wasn't Malibu, but there's real snow on the ground!"
Miley laughed, "Do you want another blanket? I think I remember Julie saying there were some down the hall in the linen closet."
Lilly shook her head, "No, I'm alright." She glanced at Miley. "Are you cold?"
"A little bit. Maybe you could, uh, move a little closer?"
"Wanna steal my body heat?"
Miley turned on her side and grinned at the other girl, somewhat flirtatiously, "Just share."
Lilly smiled back, but was surprised to feel her heart beat a little faster. She scooted closer to her friend, then rolled her eyes, "Okay, turn around, come here!"
Miley grinned yet again, flipping herself around so that her back was to Lilly. The girls moved even closer to each other, and Miley found herself fitting in perfectly alongside her friend. Lilly wrapped an arm around the brunette's waist. Their movements were natural; if it seemed that they had been doing things like this for years, it was because they had.
"This is really why I brought you, you know," Miley commented.
"Hm? What's that?" Lilly raised herself up a bit, propping her chin up against the other girl's shoulder.
"Who else would I have to spoon with?" Miley whispered contentedly.
"Well," Lilly replied thoughtfully, "There's always the dog."
Miley laughed. "Yeah. I can't believe that. Jackson's really living the quintessential American dream now."
"Who would have guessed, huh?"
"Well, he lucked out. Guy gets his girlfriend pregnant, doesn't always work out so well. But Mr. Music Executive dad steps in, buys them a house, gives big bro a cushy job … But they seem happy don't they?"
"Yeah, they do," Lilly answered thoughtfully. "Is that what you want?"
"What, for Jackson to be happy? Of course, I –"
"No," Lilly interrupted, "That's not what I meant. I mean, is this the life that you want? Nice house in the suburbs, husband working a nine to five job, a dog, a baby …"
"I – I don't know," Miley answered honestly. "Do you?"
Lilly was silent for a minute. "I guess not really. I always wanted to do things differently, you know. Unconventional."
"Well, do you want to get married someday?"
"If I found the right person, I guess so. I don't know if I can imagine it though, spending my whole life with just one person."
"Sometimes I can," Miley said quietly. "What about kids? "
"Well, babies kind of scare me. But, besides that, yeah, kids are awesome."
Miley laughed, "Yeah, I saw the look of terror cross your face when Julie handed you the baby earlier."
Lilly tried defending herself, "He was just so tiny! I was worried I was gonna drop him or break him or something!"
"It's okay, Lil, lots of people feel that way."
"Not you though. You were a natural."
"Ya think so?"
"Yeah. It was cool to watch." Lilly snuggled closer, and opened her mouth in a wide yawn.
"Yeah?" Miley put her own arm around Lilly's, placing her hand on top of her friend's.
"Yeah …" Lilly confirmed, finishing off her yawn. She gave Miley a squeeze and began her descent into sleep.
* * * *
"Thanks for staying behind to keep me company," Julie had come into the living room with baby Jack and sat down in the big easy chair across from the sofa where her new sister-in-law was curled up with a book. "I actually really love skiing, but with the baby …"
"It was no problem," Miley set down her book.
"Have you been to Gatlinburg? It's so beautiful, right in the Smoky Mountains …"
Miley shook her head, "I'm not really one for winter sports, but Lilly really wanted to try
snowboarding. There's not much opportunity for it in Malibu, as you can imagine."
"Well, it's not just a ski town you know. You should see it in the summer, there's hiking and rafting and horseback riding. It's right at the entrance to the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. When I was a kid, my family went out there every summer. You know, you and Lilly should come back this summer. Stay as long as you like…"
"Me and Lilly?" Miley looked surprised.
"Yeah, why not?" Julie adjusted the baby, who was beginning to fuss. "Does it make you uncomfortable if I nurse?"
Miley waved her hand, "No, go ahead."
"Miley," Julie placed a blanket over her shoulder to conceal her exposed chest. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, go ahead. We're family now, right?"
"Yeah. Well, I was just wondering, you and Lilly …when are you finally going to admit how you feel about her?"
Miley's face turned crimson, "I – What do you – I mean, I don't …"
"Oh come on, who do you think you're kidding? I see the way that you look at her. Like no one else in the world could possibly come close to being as perfect."
Miley put her face in her hands, "Oh my god!"
Julie just smiled. "So I'm right?"
"Am I really that obvious? Does everyone know?" Miley looked up, her face still flushed.
"Probably not. I think everyone else is too close to the situation. They're used to the two of you. It takes an outsider's perspective. Jackson thought I was crazy when I asked him if there was something going on between you two."
"You asked him that?!"
"Calm down! Like I said, he thought I was certifiable," Julie assured her, laughing.
"Wow, you don't know how it feels to be able to talk to someone about this."
"Been holding it in a long time, huh?"
Miley nodded, "Yeah …"
"When was it? That you realized how you felt about her?" Julie shifted the baby to her other side, waiting for Miley's response.
"I guess … I guess it was right after my last long-term relationship ended. Our senior year in high school. I should have been a mess, we were together for almost two years. But Lilly came over right after it happened, and it's not like we did anything different from the usual – we just watched movies and talked, hung out. But I realized then that when I was with her, I didn't care about anything else. I didn't even think once about my relationship that had just ended. I didn't want to be anywhere else, but right there with her."
Julie smiled dreamily, "I know that feeling. Have you thought of telling her? How you feel?"
"No, absolutely not!" Miley shook her head emphatically. "Lilly's my best friend. I know that we're probably closer than most best friends. Sometimes I think that the way we act around each other isn't really normal, but if I cross that line … There's no going back from there."
"But maybe she feels the same way."
"It's better not to take that risk. I can get over this."
"How's that working out for you?"
Miley sighed and fell back against the sofa, "Horribly."
Julie removed the blanket from her shoulder and stood up with a now sleeping Jack. She went over and placed him gently down in the bassinet, then came over and sat down next to her sister-in-law. "Miley. I want to tell you something that I learned first-hand. The heart loves who it loves; it isn't interested in rules or geographies or all that other crap that we think is so important. When I met your brother, I was 27 years old, finishing my graduate thesis. Do you think I was looking to fall for a 22-year-old kid from Malibu, still only halfway through undergrad? My parents, my friends, everyone thought I was crazy. Hell, I thought I was crazy! He's not what I ever would have picked for myself, but now I wouldn't have it any other way."
Miley shook her head, "But it's so hard."
"It's supposed to be hard. Otherwise we wouldn't realize how important it is."
* * * *
"I'm so glad we decided to exchange presents tonight! I don't want to wait until the morning to give you mine!" Lilly was bouncing on the bed in excitement, holding a brightly wrapped gift in her hands.
Miley, who was rummaging through her suitcase in search of her present for Lilly, turned and laughed at her friend. "Lilly, are you five? Chill out!"
"I'm sorry, I just love Christmas! And I'm super excited for you to open my present!"
"Yeah, me too." Miley was holding a small gift-wrapped box in her hand. She sat down across from Lilly on the bed.
"Okay, me first!" Lilly thrust her gift at the other girl.
"Okay then!" Miley slowly started to unwrap the box.
"Hurry up!" The blonde girl complained, still bouncing in anticipation.
Miley shot her a glare, but unwrapped the rest quickly. "Oh my god. Lilly!" She opened the box and looked at her friend in amazement. Lilly just smiled at her happily. "Lilly, these earrings are just like the ones –"
"That your mom wore at her wedding? The ones that got lost on your move to California?"
"How did you – Where –" Miley's eyes were starting to fill with tears, as she held up two small, vintage-style chandelier earrings, inlaid with pearl and aquamarine.
"Umm, lots of hours on EBay, a photo that your dad lent me and a little help from Oliver. I know that it's not the same because they aren't the actual ones, but I remembered you saying how much your mom loved them and that you wished you could wear them when you got married, so…"
"Lilly, this is the best present I've ever gotten," Miley said seriously, looking right into her best friend's eyes.
Lilly blushed. "Oh come here!" She said, playing it off. She pulled Miley into a hug.
The brunette pulled away after a moment and wiped her eye with her sleeve. "Well, my present probably won't seem like much compared to that. But … here." She handed the small box to Lilly, who enthusiastically ripped the small amount of paper off.
She opened the box to reveal a silver chain with a heart pendant carved in jade. "Miles, this is beautiful! And it's green, my favorite color! Thank you so much!"
"You like it?" Miley asked nervously.
"Are you crazy? Of course. I love it! Give me another hug!"
Miley let herself be enveloped into Lilly's arms, but pulled away quickly.
"What's wrong?" Lilly furrowed her brow in concern.
"Lilly, I …" she took a deep breath, then continued, "I wanted to give you this necklace because …" Her voice trailed off. She was losing her nerve.
Lilly was frowning, "Because? What is it Miley? Are you okay?" She took her friend's hand, running her thumb gently over it. "Are you crying?"
Sure enough, there were tears starting to form in the other girl's eyes, but she shook her head. "Lilly, I want you to know that you'll always have my heart. I love you. I love you so much. I think I always have, but I – I just didn't realize it, and now I have and I just wanted you to know." She looked up into the clear blue of Lilly's eyes, but she couldn't read the other girl's expression. "I'm sorry, excuse me." Miley got up from the bed and ran out of the room.
* * * *
"Miley? Miley, what are you doing out here? I was looking everywhere for you! You're going to freeze!" Lilly stepped out onto the covered porch, where Miley was curled up on the swing with a blanket wrapped around her.
"I have a blanket," Miley said quietly, stating the obvious.
"I made some hot chocolate." Lilly came and sat down next to her, handing her a mug.
"Thanks." Miley took it, but didn't look at the other girl, preferring to continue to stare off into the night.
"Miley, I think we should talk."
"Just go ahead and say it." Lilly was taken back by the bitterness in Miley's voice. "You love me, but just like a friend. I told Julie it was a mistake to tell you."
"You talked to Julie about us?" Lilly asked in surprise. "Never mind, it doesn't matter. What matters is, how do you know what I'm going to say? You didn't even give me a chance to react. You just ran out of the room."
Miley finally looked over at Lilly, but she didn't say anything. So Lilly continued. "The truth is, Miley … I was just, I was in shock."
"I knew it," Miley whispered and looked away again.
"No, Miles, look at me." Lilly set her mug down on the small porch table then reached over and turned the other girl's face so that she was looking right into her eyes. In the moonlight the steel-gray of the brunette's eyes was luminous. Lilly ran her thumb alongside Miley's face. "I was in shock because I was finally hearing come out of your mouth the words that for so many years I had hoped to hear."
"What?" Miley whispered, staring hard at her friend.
"I never dreamed that you could feel the same way."
"The same way?"
"What were the chances that two girls like us could fall for each other?"
"One in a million?" Miley offered, a small smile coming across her face now.
Lilly rolled her eyes, "Thank you Miss Montana. Seriously though, I never thought that happy endings like that could happen in real life."
Miley set her mug down too and turned so that she was facing Lilly completely. "So maybe you were wrong. Maybe they do."
Lilly looked down, "I lied to you, you know."
"When?"
"The other night. When you asked me about getting married and all that. I said that it was hard to imagine spending my life with just one person." She looked up at Miley. "Well, I lied. The truth is, there's only ever been one person that I could imagine spending the rest of my life with." Her lip started to quiver. "Darn it, I didn't think I was going to cry."
Miley reached over to wipe a tear from Lilly's cheek, but the blonde took her hand before it got there. She held it tightly within her own. "Miley …" There were so many words to say, years worth of feelings, but right then nothing seemed like enough. Then she remembered something. "I carry your heart …" she whispered.
A smile broke out across Miley's face. Her favorite poem. Those four words were all that she needed. Reaching over, she placed her hand gently on the back of Lilly's neck. With her other hand, she pushed back a strand of blonde hair. She leaned forward, slowly … Lilly's eyes were closing in anticipation. Miley tilted her head ever so slightly, holding her breath as she finally came into contact with the lips that she had dreamed of kissing for so long. It only lasted for a second before they pulled apart, mouths hovering mere centimeters from each other. They were both breathing deeply. This time it was Lilly who went for it, her lips crashing into the other girl's. Their mouths moved together in perfect synchrony, the kiss deepening. Miley moaned slightly as Lilly's tongue found its way into her mouth.
Finally, Miley pulled away, gasping, "Oh my god, we better stop before I'm tempted to move out of PG-13 on my brother's front porch."
Lilly grinned playfully, "That might be kind of hot."
"Lilly Truscott!" Miley gasped in mock astonishment, "My father's right inside you know."
"I know," Lilly laughed. "You know what, it is freezing out here!"
"Well, I guess you'll just need to move a little closer!" Miley held open the blanket and Lilly leaned back into her arms, snuggling up closely.
"Ughh, you don't know what torture it was for me, all those nights spooned up next to you!"
Miley looked down at the girl in her arms, "You're kidding, right? Ya think I don't know that?"
Lilly yawned, "We wasted so much time…"
"Yeah, but now we have all the time in the world."
"What are we gonna tell everyone? Do you think your Dad is gonna be mad? My dad's gonna freak. He's a total homophobe. Doesn't matter, he's a jerk. He can go have a bunch of straight kids with Candy or whatever her name is. My mom should be cool though. I just hate the thought of your Dad not accepting us. You know, we don't have to tell people right away. We can wait. If that's what you want." She paused and looked up at Miley, a sheepish look on her face. "I'm rambling, aren't I?"
"Just a little."
"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a little nervous. I want to do this right."
Miley sighed, "Me too. But let's not think about all of it right now. Right now it's just you and me. Nobody else matters. Let's just have tonight, okay?"
"Hmm, yeah …" Lilly closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "Hey, look!" She exclaimed, upon opening them again. "It's snowing!"
Miley looked out to the yard at the soft, glistening flakes falling gently from the sky. "Looks like it's gonna be a white Christmas."
Lilly squeezed Miley's hand, "The best Christmas."
"Definitely the best Christmas," Miley echoed.
* * * *
Twelve years later:
Miley was picking up torn pieces of wrapping paper and other remnants from the evening's present-opening session, stuffing them into a recycling bag. She sighed, pushing a strand of hair away from her face.
"You didn't say how it ended," A voice came from behind her.
Miley turned around to face the woman standing in the doorway. She smiled and walked towards her. "Mmmm," she put her arms around the other woman's waist and pulled her in for a kiss. "Why don't you tell me?"
"Well, I don't think the story's finished yet."
Miley kissed her again, "I think you're right. You heard that, huh?"
"Only some of it. The vents carry the sound pretty well."
"I'm sorry that you had to miss the singing. Did you get Nicky to sleep alright?"
"Yes, but he had trouble taking the bottle. I think he wanted it from the source."
Miley shook her head, grinning, "He was missing the breast, huh?"
"I know how he feels."
"You do, do you?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well, I think that can be taken care of," Miley whispered seductively into the blonde woman's ear, running a hand down the length of her body.
"Oh, God – Twelve years, Miles, and you still make me feel like I did when we were twenty," she gasped.
The brunette woman kissed the crook of her neck and whispered again in her ear, "Come on Lilly, let's go to bed."
"Okay baby, let's go to bed."
* * * *
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate ,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
[e.e. cummings]