Maximum Ride SPOOF!
A/N: THis is probably going to be the longest authors note your ever going to read! The other day I was sitting in school and suddenly I was like. WOAH has any ever done just a HUGE spoof on MR? Like starting with the Angel Experiment and continuing? So after thinking it over I realized I'd never seen one here! OMG so i decided to start one! Hopefully I'll be able to post often, but school really interferes with these things! So I'll try my best and (hopefully) I'll have a few chapters ready in advance, just incase school gets crazy! Don't steal my idea sorry if any of you have something similar I didn't try to copy it!! And please remember this is a spoof and everything is either in the extreme or not true. (And the real books are waaaaay better then this!) Oh and if no one likes this I won't continue onto the next books. So read and enjoy! :)
DISCLAIMER~ I'm not nor will I ever be James Patterson!!
The Angel Experiment~
Chapter One~ Contains MR chapters: prologue to 12.
Somewhere?
Max: Congrats! Since your reading this it means you could survive till your next birthday!
Fang: Or not...
Max: *glares at Fang* This is a story of me my family an-
Angel: *Bambi eyes* Can we go to Sea World?
Nudge: I LOVE SEA WORLD! IT'S GOT SEA STUFF, AND IT'S ALL BLUE AND THEY HAVE FISHIES THERE AND DOLPHINS, WHALE-
Gazzy: *holds dead thing up* LOOK A WEASEL, MAX!!
Max: ARGHHH! That's it never mind I'll skip the prologue!
THE E- HOUSE Colorado
(Max is asleep having a nightmare, while the Flock sleeps.)
~In Max's dream~
Max: AHHH! STOP CHASING ME!
Eraser: But we're playing tag. Isn't that the point?
Max: Ohhh
Eraser: *pulls out gun* See if I hit you with this then you're it.
Max: *jumps off cliff and flies away*
~In the real world~
Max: *wakes up screaming* I have to give my subconscious a pep talk!
(Anyways the flock lives in this perilously dangerous E shaped house that hangs off a cliff! They're all so daring! Anyways lets catch up with Max who is in the kitchen now! Trying to cook. *Gasp* Is she crazy!)
Max: Morning Gazzy!
Gazzy: *looks over at Max* Are YOU cooking.
Max: Possibly
Gazzy: *Gags and falls over*
Iggy: *Walks in and plops onto couch, which breaks under his immense weight*
Max: Hey Ig rise and shine!
Iggy: BITE ME!
Max: FINE MISS MY WONDERFULLY PREPARED BREAKFAST MEAL!!
Fang: *appears out of nowhere behind Max*
Max: *jumps and smashes head on ceiling* QUIT THAT!
Fang: Quit what, breathing?
Max: *uses sarcasm* Yes Fang breathing.
Fang: Okay. *Fang stops breathing*
Max: *goes to wake up the rest of this dysfunctional and insane family* OKAY GUYS WAKEY, WAKEY!
Nudge: ... *walks out of room*
Angel: Hey Max! What are we doing today?
Max: Uhhh... Living?
Angel: Okay! That sounds like fun! *runs off to kitchen*
~At the kitchen table~
Angel: *using her cute abilities* I want to pick strawberries today!
Gazzy: *frowns* Today's the day me and Iggy shoot squirrels out of trees, and blow up the forest with our bomb, called DSAEE! It stands for Destroy Squirrels and Everything Else!
Iggy: Gaz that was a secret.
Gazzy: Oh
Max: A WHAT!
Nudge: Well I agree with Angel we should go pick strawberries! Because we could make a cake and then we could eat it or we could make strawberry smoothies or yogurt, or maybe that other strawberry stuff. Like strawberry syrup! I mean how do they make that stuff? Do they squeeze strawberries till they explode and it makes syrup? Or is it one of those funny things were they use chemically induced toxins to make a yummy tasting drink?
Iggy: ... I think it's the second one.
A Strawberry Field!
(The flock is picking some strawberries for toxic products!)
Nudge: See isn't this fun! It's not like some big hairy mutant bear things are going to attack the five of us anytime soon!
Erasers: *Jump in from behind a bush* AHHAAA SO YOU KNEW OF OUR EVIL PLOT!
Gazzy: WOAH! How did you all fit behind that bush?! THAT WAS SO COOL!
Erasers: O_o Well we're going to put that behind us. WE'VE COME TO STEAL THE SMALL BLOND GIRL!
Angel: Well you'd better have some strawberries with you!
Erasers: Uhhh...Why.
Angel: Cause I'm making a cake!
Erasers: Well DUH! We have plenty of strawberries don't worry little girl!
Angel: Okay! *Jumps onto helicopter with Erasers*
Max: *falls to knees* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Gazzy: *overdramatic* THEY TOOK MY SISTER!
The E-House
Max: We need a plan!
Iggy: Where's Fang?
Gazzy: OH! I saw him on the floor before! He was turning blue it was really cool!
Max: Okay then CPR time! Iggy go take care of that!
Iggy: WAIT WHAT! *dragged off by Gazzy*
Max: WEll Nudge when Fang wakes up we're going to make a break for it! So grab all your stuff because we're going to ditch the blind kid and Mr. Farts A-Lot!
Nudge: Okay, I'll got pack away my designer clothes in my backpack!
Max: NUDGE FANG'S UP, RUN!
(Nudge, Max and Fang ditch Iggy and Gazzy to go save Angel!)
NEXT TIME! FANG, NUGDE AND MAX JOURNEY INTO THE UNKNOWN!
Hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter maybe a little late my health teacher is giving me a robot baby for the weekend.....
~Gabby