Disclaimer…well, I watched the credits at the end of the latest SVU episode just to be certain but still did not see my name…so, I'm assuming that means I still don't own anyone in this story except…well, you'll know who it is. " ) Bensler

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Needed a break from Matters and this idea came to me on the way home from work a couple of days ago. I thought it would be a one shot, but I ended up with three chapters. Yea, I know it's unbelieveable that I could write a story that is only three chapters, but I did. Not sure how it will be received, but here is the first chapter. Let me know if you think it is okay. I'll post the other two chapters very soon. " ) Bensler

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Chapter 1 ~ Visitor from the Past

SVU Squad Room – Thursday, March 12 – 10:21 a.m.

The moment the tall woman with long brunette hair walked through the double doors of the squad room, she knew who she was intuitively. And who she had been. She also understood that her life as she knew it was about to change. She wasn't blind nor was she stupid. She knew she would always come in second to the woman who held Elliot's whole heart. Even so, she knew he cared about her and they had a great time together. His kids had finally begun to accept her though they were not at all in favor of their relationship.

She and Elliot had even talked about getting married. Well, mostly she talked; he listened; but he never told her to back off, either. Just last night she had asked him if he wanted her to move to Queens or was he willing to move to Brooklyn? Now that she thought about it, he had not answered her. In fact, there were many questions he skirted around, never actually answering. And some that he simply ignored. Still, she held some hope.

The woman dressed in dark blue jeans, a yellow, cable-knit sweater with a scooped neck, brown boots and leather jacket, looked around the room, presumably for someone she knew. Not seeing anyone she headed straight for her desk.

"Hi. Is Captain Stabler here?" she smiled and what a bright smile it was. Straight, white teeth. Her warm, brown eyes smiled, too.

She was every bit as attractive as the few pictures she had seen.

Looking toward the Captain's office, she stood, "He was here just a moment ago. He should be right back. Perhaps, I can help you?"

The woman smiled again, "Thank you, but if you don't mind, I'll just wait for Elliot. Oh…uh…I mean Captain Stabler," she corrected herself.

As she turned to find a chair to sit in, Elliot rounded the corner from the file room with several folders in hand. When his eyes locked with hers, he abruptly came to a stop. He could not hide the color draining from his face, his eyes widening, or his mouth dropping open. They stared at each other, her smile tentative, but as brilliant as he remembered, and a guarded expression quickly replaced the shock on his face at seeing her standing there.

Finally breaking their gaze, he looked toward the other woman standing by her desk; fear clearly the emotion washing over her.

"Detective, if you will excuse us…" he was surprised to find he was able to form a coherent sentence and actually speak it.

"Of course," she sat back down at her desk and began typing on her keyboard.

"Uh…my office…" he nodded toward the office as he once again caught her eyes, giving her just a slight smile.

He had to remind himself to breathe. She was still just as beautiful as the last time he had seen her. How long had it been now? Three years. Almost to the day.

Office of Captain Elliot Stabler – Thursday, March 12 – 10:27 a.m.

That day was forever etched into his brain. He would never forget that day. Never forget how it felt as he watched the woman he loved, more than life itself walk, out the door. He didn't know it then, but she had walked out of his life that day, too. Out of his life. And he let her. He let her because he was so scared that if he told her how he really felt she would run. Run. Like she had before when things had gotten crazy between them.

Only by that time he and Kathy were divorced; there was no boyfriend hanging in the shadows; they were both free. Free to be together. They spent nearly every spare moment together. The kids loved her, especially Eli. After the weeks of being together turned to months and the months became nearly a year, she was the one who upped the ante and laid her cards on the table. The one who took the chance and went for broke. She told him how she felt. She told him she was tired of being alone. Tired of waiting. She wanted more out of their relationship. She told him she loved him and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. And he had stood there still unable to tell her how he felt. How could he ever make her understand this irrational fear he had of having her as his, only to lose her when she tired of him or found he was not what she really wanted? Paralyzed by the thought of her leaving him. By the thought of losing her. He had just stood there and looked at her. And in his silence, he had lost her anyway.

When she left, he simply could not believe it. For months he was in denial. He convinced himself she would come back. She always came back. Even when Cragen gave him a new permanent partner, he was in denial. Then the one year anniversary of her leaving forced him to realize she was not coming back. Devastation replaced denial. He lost so much weight Cragen put him on sick leave against his will and refused to let him return until he had permission from his family doctor and a clear psych eval from Huang. Elliot wished he could have a do over. Wished he could rewind time and do it all over so he could tell her how much he loved her. Tell her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. What he wouldn't do for a second chance.

After that night, she had taken some time off and he thought it was just to get over his inability to say what she needed, to do what she wanted. Time to cool off. But a week later, a week of not talking to her or seeing her, she had packed her apartment, put in her resignation papers, and was gone. Gone without a forwarding address or a note or a phone call or even a 'the heck with you'.

And just like when she had gone undercover with the FBI all those years ago, her phones had been disconnected, and every time he called her, day in and day out, hoping she would finally answer, he kept getting those asinine recordings: 'The number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please hang up and try your call again.' And the cell phone message: 'The cellular customer you have attempted to reach is no longer available.' No longer available. He laughed to himself at that. She made sure she was no longer available, at least to him.

Literally, he thought he would die. In some ways, he did.

And now…now here she was. Three years later. Sitting in front of him. His eyes briefly scanned her left hand and breathed a sigh of relief.

This had to be a dream, she told herself. She could not believe she was sitting in Elliot's office in the one-six in New York City. When she left three years ago, she told herself she would never come back. Never see him again. Never talk to him again. It was too painful. Too heart-wrenching. She had decided she didn't want to hurt anymore.

Well, that was a joke. She had never stopped hurting. Three years of distance; three years of not seeing or talking to him; three years of trying to convince herself she did not care anymore; three years of trying to forget. It clearly was not an option – forgetting. Elliot Stabler was a part of her. He was her blood; his touch was stamped upon her skin; his breath filled her lungs; his scent permeated the air around her; his laughter rang in her ears; the intensity of his blue eyes burned into the depths of her soul; his heart was enmeshed with hers; his whispered words engraved in her memory; and his grin still lit her darkest day.

Don't misunderstand…she had tried. She had tried desperately to forget him, to make a new life apart from him. She thought if she left New York, left the things familiar to her, she would be able to finally find a way to live without him. Atlanta was different. The southern culture was foreign to her, the weather much too hot, but the people were very friendly and she had finally begun to fit in.

She had made friends, settled into her new job with the Atlanta PD as a detective in their Special Victims Squad. At least that aspect of her life provided a bit of continuity. But more times than not when she was out on the streets, she thought of Elliot. Longed for the days when he was beside her. There was always a case that paralleled one that they had worked and it would always drag her back to the past.

Then two nights ago Grant had asked her to marry him. She liked him a lot. She would even venture to say she cared about him, and they did have a good time together. He was a great guy and he was in law enforcement so her job would not be an issue. He had twenty-three years with the APD, first in Narcotics and now in Vice. He was divorced and had a son and daughter in college. There was only one thing wrong with him in her mind. It was the same thing that had been wrong with all the men she tried to be with. He was not Elliot. At that moment, that moment when she could not answer Grant, she admitted to herself that she was still in love with Elliot. She still loved a man she had not seen or talked to in three years. Elliot. She would always love him. Suddenly, she was gripped with a need to see him that was so strong she could not resist it.

She told Grant she could not marry him. She left him sitting at the restaurant and caught a cab home. Within two hours she had called her captain, requested some time off and booked a flight to New York City the next day. And now she was here. Back in the city; back in the precinct; back in the SVU squad room sitting in front of Elliot. In Elliot's office.

Maybe she could fool others, but she could not fool herself. She still loved him just as much, maybe even more, as the day she left him. She would always love this man sitting here barely two feet from her. She had come back because she was not sure she could live the rest of her life without trying one more time; without making sure the decision he made three years ago was what he really wanted; without giving him another chance. Without asking him to give her another chance. A second chance.

Elliot was a devout Catholic. His faith was an important part of who he was and Olivia knew he prayed to God for guidance, comfort, help. Not being a religious woman, she was not sure what she thought about that particular ritual but was so desperate for things to work out with her and Elliot, she found herself praying to God to show favor on her just this one time.

Sitting on the corner of his desk, Elliot's right leg was swinging nervously, his left stretched straight to the floor. He could not quit staring at her as she took a seat in the chair directly in front of him. Of course, she was doing her share of staring, too. He had on a herring bone brown tweed jacket with a blue shirt, the color of his eyes. The brown and blue tie was paisley print. He looked good, she thought. The colors were identical to the suit he was wearing when she first met him.

Finally breaking the silence, she spoke softly, "It's good to see you again, El." She smiled up at him, her nervousness evidenced by the twisting of her watch over and over around her wrist.

He wanted to be angry, he was angry, but he would not let her know that, not yet.

Instead he smiled at her, "You look great, Liv."

She did. That yellow sweater against her tanned skin made her glow. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms, apologize for his inaction three years ago and beg her to let him have another chance.

"Thanks. You look pretty good yourself," she wanted to just jump in his arms and beg him to let her back in his life. Beg him to let her be with him on whatever terms he so desired. She was more than willing to do it his way. She just did not want to live without him anymore. Three years was all she could take and she didn't take it well at all.

"Your new life must agree with you," he was chewing on his bottom lip and she smiled at the nervous habit.

"It's okay," she said cautiously. "I've settled in, made some friends, learned the city."

She had not given much thought to what exactly she would say to him when she had made the decision to come back, and she failed to realize how difficult it would be for both of them. She could not handle the piercing gaze of his intensely blue eyes - they were beautiful – so she looked away.

"And what city is that?" Elliot asked, his anger beginning to rise at the renewed awareness that he had no idea where she now lived.

Her eyes snapped back to him, and her breath hitched, "Atlanta."

He paused, trying to picture her in the southern city. Trying to let himself get used to the idea that she had lived in Atlanta for three years and he never knew.

"Never figured you for a southern belle, Liv. So how is it?" he snorted.

His anger once again under control, he wanted to know everything that had happened to her the last three years.

"No…I'll always be a New York City girl…Atlanta's okay, but I miss the snow. It stays hot there almost year round and I'll never like grits," she laughed a little bit.

Without warning the atmosphere thickened, his anger was back, "So why'd you leave?"

Looking at him, his face filled with rage…and hurt, she opened her mouth, but her voice would not cooperate and no words fell from her lips.

"I asked you a question, Olivia. Why did you leave?" his eyes narrowed and his jaw was rigid, the muscle in it flexing, as he lowered his voice to a growl.

She tried again to speak, blinking rapidly, her mouth working but still no words would come.

He stood now, not even pretending to reign in his anger, his voice escalating into a yell. "Come on, Benson! It's a simple question! Why-did-you-leave? Huh?"

Hot tears pounded at her eyelids, but she was not about to cry. Not in front of Elliot.

"I…I didn't come back to fight with you, Elliot," she could barely whisper over the lump that settled in her throat.

He laughed, scraped his hands over his face, expelled a loud breath, and turned his head up toward the ceiling and laughed again.

She felt her blood run cold as she remembered the violent verbal warfare they were so adept at using against at each other. Now she wished she were anywhere but here, anywhere but this room with Elliot Stabler's mocking laughter rumbling in her ears.

"So, why did you come back?" he asked with such contempt, she wanted to catch the first flight back to Atlanta. Coming here was one big, bad idea.

Determination did little to hold her tears at bay, and they slid down her cheeks now. Wiping frantically at them, she raised her head to look him in the eyes, "Because…I…I thought…I hoped…I just couldn't…I hoped you would…you would…"

"What, Oliva? What could you possibly want from me after three years? Three years, Olivia! I never heard from you! I couldn't call you! You didn't leave a number! I never knew where you went! If you were okay! I never knew, Olivia! It's like you disappeared from the face of the earth! You made it more than clear that you didn't want me to be able to find you. So, please tell me! What could you possibly want from me after all this time?" he bellowed, unmoved by her tears, his face red, the vein in his neck pulsating with rage, his hands fisting at his sides.

Sniffling, she stood up and went to the door, her hand on the knob, "A…s-second chance."

Looking over her shoulder she met his eyes one more time. "That's all I wanted."

And then just like that she was gone. Again. And he was speechless and just as paralyzed as he had been three years ago.

~~~eoeoeoeoeo~~~