Timeline for If Not Wisely
Just to clarify when and where things are.
Kiss #0: Warehouse scene in Fragments
Kiss #1: The day after that.
Kiss #2: Undefined brief period after #1, at most a week.
Kiss #3: Undefined after #2, most likely around two weeks or so.
Kiss #4: Christmas before Gwen arrived, the one Tosh references in Countrycide as the night she kissed Owen.
Kiss #5: Cyberwoman. Nuff said.
Kiss #6: Some time during Ianto's suspension, so between Cyberwoman and Small Worlds
Kiss #7: After Countrycide
Kiss #8: After They Keep Killing Suzie
Kiss #9: After Captain Jack Harkness
Kiss #10: During End of Days
Intermission: While Jack is away, obviously, between S1 and S2
Kisses #11-#14: A day after Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Kiss #15: To the Last Man
Kiss #16: Between TtLM and Meat
Kiss #17: After Meat
Kiss #18: Behind the scenes during Reset
Kiss #19: Unspecified, before Dead Man Walking
Kisses #20-#27: Also unspecified, but during the first half of S2
Kiss #28: After A Day in the Death
Kiss #38: After Something Borrowed
Kiss #46: Between Something Borrowed and From Out of the Rain
And the last kiss in the fic happens just after Adrift.
References in If Not Wisely
I use a lot of strange metaphors and random references in If Not Wisely. It's something to do with the way I'm trying to get into Ianto's brain- the human tendency to connect things at random or have particular triggers for rhymes or references…
So anyway, if you're at all interested, here's a list of the stuff I referenced.
If Not Wisely
The title itself actually belongs to Joss Whedon. It turns up in the Season 5 Episode of Buffy "Crush"- Buffy accuses Spike of being incapable of love, due to not having a soul, and Drusilla says, "Oh, we can, you know. We can love quite well... if not wisely."
As with so many remarks on Buffy, it struck me as rather poignant.
1999
Little side note of interest here- I figure, since Alex and the others died at the very end of 1999, Jack probably wouldn't have updated the tourist office since then. Let's face it, he's pretty incapable when it comes to bureaucracy.
"Reginald fucking Jeeves"
Reasonably certain everyone has heard of Jeeves and Wooster. If not, shame on you. Go inform yourself.
Eight for the April Rainers
I'll sing you twelve, oh
Green grow the rushes, oh
What are your twelve, oh?
Twelve for the twelve Apostles
Eleven for the eleven who went to heaven,
Ten for the ten commandments,
Nine for the nine bright shiners,
Eight for the April Rainers,
Seven for the seven stars in the sky,
Six for the six proud walkers,
Five for the symbols at your door,
Four for the Gospel makers,
Three, three, the rivals,
Two, two, the lily-white boys,
Clothèd all in green, oh
One is one and all alone
And evermore shall be so.
I figure Ianto to have a fairly large stock of useless common knowledge.
Henry the Eighth
English King, lots of wives, introduced the C of E, only on this list for the sake of completion, because who hasn't heard of him?
An Agony in Eight Fits
Lewis Carroll's very long poem, The Hunting of the Snark, is subtitled An Agony in Eight Fits.
They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care,
They pursued it with forks and hope
They threatened its life with a railway share,
They charmed it with smiles and soap.
Lewis Carroll is magnificent.
Mabel, Mabel, Set the Table
Ah, Jump rope rhymes….
Mabel, Mabel, set the table
Just as fast as you are able
Don't forget the SALT, PEPPER, VINEGAR, MUSTARD,
Miss Susie
One of my very favourite children's rhymes.
Miss Susie had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Susie went to heaven
The steamboat went to
Hello operator, please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me, I'll kick you from
Behind the refrigerator there was a piece of glass
Miss Susie sat upon it and cut her little
Ask me no more questions,
Tell me no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Zipping up their
Flies are in the meadow
The bees are in the park
Miss Susie and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the
Dark is like a movie
A movie's like a show
A show is like a TV screen and that is all
I know I know my ma
I know I know my pa
I know I know my sister with the 80 acre alligator bra
It is very, very silly. I know. I used to love these things. The Miss Susie theme has a few variations, there are also some that are in the same rhythm but with different words.
Aldous Huxley
Yeah, okay, that reference kinda drags on. Aldous Huxley wrote Brave New World, one of those creepy "Ooh, look how badly society will turn out" novels. There's this thing called hypnopaedia that brainwashes all the babies, and they spend the rest of their lives only saying and paraphrasing what they were taught. Among other things, "Was and will make me ill, I take a gramme and only am," which refers to Soma, the drug everyone takes to stay happy. Lenina, one of the main characters of the book, tends to say that and other completely useless things whenever life gets rough.
The Remedy
Sung by Jason Mraz.
.com/watch?v=5cM7g3GyeFw
Life, the Universe and Everything
Well, no duh, Douglas Adams. Although I think Jack is doomed to disappointment in this bit. Even if the steering wheel could talk, two-digit numbers aren't going to help him any more than it did the rest of the world ;)
Alison Krauss
Song is "That kind of love"
.com/watch?v=z5ow0XOp_WI
Where there's hardly no day
Where there's hardly no day
Nor hardly no night
There's things half in shadow
And halfway in light
Right. This. You will find this in Chim Chim Cheree from the immortal musical, Mary Poppins.
I shall Believe
Sung by Sheryl Crow
.com/watch?v=EW3Y3BtKqPs
(Er, yes, vid is not actually in a fandom I know. Couldn't find a decent one that was. Also, it's eleven thirty and I'm really tired…)
Gloria Estefan
…singing .com/watch?v=b4A50EHwCjY
What can I say? I wanted a positive note to end things on…