(GS enters room with a ball of black energy behind him, looks around)
GS: WHERE THE FUCKING HELL IS EVERYBODY?!?
Energy ball: WOAH! Watch your language, punk!
GS: Punk? You sound like my mom… Anyway, this story starts at the Mizuki incident. Mesa no-no ownsy Naruto! Yousa kapiche tis? (Okay, so I'm running out of material.)
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Chapter 1:
IT TALKS?!?
Naruto stared in shock. Mizuki just killed Iruka-sensei!
- - Flashback - -
"Naruto, look out!" Iruka threw himself in the path of the demon shuriken Mizuki threw at Naruto. The shuriken lopped off his head, killing him instantly.
- - Flashback End - -
"Excellent! That removes the witness, so there's nobody to exonerate you, demon scum! Now DIE!" Mizuki stabbed Naruto in the heart with a kunai, killing him… or so he thought…
"What the…" Naruto looked around. It looked like he was is some kind of sewer. 'How the hell did I get here?!?'
/Kit… Come here…/ Naruto followed the voice, seeing as he had nothing else to do. He followed it to a cage and met the red eyes within.
Naruto, being smarter than he acted, merely said, "I'm judging from the fur and tails that this is my mind, and that you're Kyuubi."
Kyuubi chuckled weakly. /That's right kit. Now, that stab in the heart took all my energy to fix… I'm gonna meet the Shinigami… Don't bother, there's nothing you can do,/ he added, seeing Naruto about to speak, /so before I die, I'm going to give you five presents. The first is virtual invulnerability… the only way you'll be able to die is from drowning, old age, or having your head cut off… you'll even regenerate limbs. It'll still hurt like hell, though…
/The second gift is the summoning contract for the foxes…/ A scroll appeared. /Just sign your name in blood to seal the deal…/ Naruto did so, and the scroll vanished. /There. Here are the seals…/ A seal sequence flashed through Naruto's mind.
/The third gift is my vast knowledge…/ Countless information, including jutsus, flashed through Naruto's mind. /Just don't overdo it with the jutsus… and while you're at it, stop acting like a dobe and show them your true self… ditch the mask…
/The last two gifts involve chakra… first, your chakra and mine will become one… second, your chakra will gain a mind of its own, be able to use telepathy, and take a physical manifestation without jutsus… This'll feel like shit, heheheh…/
Suddenly Naruto felt intense pain, the whole room flashed black, and the very last thing Naruto would ever hear from Kyuubi was a gentle, /Goodbye, kit… goodbye and good luck, Naruto Uzumaki…/
In the real world, Mizuki smirked and turned to get the Forbidden Scroll…
Only for a wall of solid black chakra to appear in his path. "Now where do you think you're going?" asked Naruto coolly.
Mizuki whirled, and in his rage, cut off Naruto's arm. Naruto just grimaced. "Damn, when Kyuubi said losing a limb hurt like hell, he wasn't kidding!" he groaned.
Mizuki looked on in shock as an entire friggin' ARM grew back where the old one was cut off. "Well, that's three gifts from Kyuubi checked. Now let's check the other two…" He went through some handseals and cried out, "SUMMONING JUTSU!" A male five-tailed white fox about Akamaru's size appeared. The fox looked at Naruto and spoke. "Where the fucking damned hell did you get the contract, asshole?"
Naruto sweatdropped. "Uh… Kyuubi gave it to me right before he died healing me…"
The fox grinned. "So you're the asshole who held jii-san, huh? The name's Byakko. Whatcha need?"
Naruto smirked. "See that chunnin over there?" he asked, pointing at Mizuki.
"Lemme guess… you want me to maul the asshole, but leave him alive enough and willing enough to spill the beans, right?"
"Pretty much."
Byakko grinned. "This is gonna be fun." He pounced on the STILL-gaping Mizuki (but then again, you'd probably be gaping for a while, too, if you saw the dead last recover from a fatal blow, grow back an arm, and summon a fox) and mauled him.
Naruto smiled as the black chakra condensed into a ball. 'Anyone there?' he thought.
'Hiya, boss!" said a kid's voice. "I'm Seishou!"
Naruto's grin grew wider. Seishou had a personality just like his! 'Hi, I'm Naruto! Say, could you go get jii-san for me while I make sure Mizuki doesn't get away?'
'Sure thing, Naruto-senpai!' Seishou quickly floated off to the Hokage tower, while Naruto sat down and watched the show. This is the scene that the Third Hokage and his Anbu escort shunshined in on moments later. Naruto had Byakko release Mizuki, who was VERY willing to talk, and explained everything to the Third, including the false front of being an idiot. When Naruto was done, he merely said, "come on, Naruto-kun. The council's going to want to hear this."
Naruto just nodded and called, "Hey Byakko, you're free to go now, but come back and visit sometime!" Byakko grinned, replied, "Sure! If all goes well, I might even get to be your familiar!" and dispersed.
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GS: Well, that's that.
Byakko: Things are getting good.
Seishou: Tell me about it!
GS: R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-read und r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-review!