Fishing in the stream of ideas is very hard. I've been ditching fan fiction writing a lot to write an original fiction and read books.

But no fear, this one's special.

It doesn't have the usual A and B title format. It's just plain A. And for those who haven't figured it out, it's about Lavi.

Disclaimer: -man is owned by Hoshino Katsura.

WARNING: Possible Out-Of-Character behaviour due to a show of emotions (Lavi being serious, for example). A possible (very slight) one-sided Lavi x Lenalee. You'd have to really read the subtle signs to find the one-sided Allen x Lenalee.

Enjoy this special chapter dedicated to Lavi. Mostly because I've run out of ideas...

Bookman

The Bookman Junior: he was smart, young, full of potential, and above all, a wonderful actor.

That is why no one, except his own kind knows who, or what he really is. Of course, that's not the case when it comes to the opposite.

Bookman Junior walked down a corridor. This would seem as a normal act to do, walking, but it was by far the strangest thing his 49th self had ever done.

That part of him does this.

Half-dragging a young, white-haired boy and carrying a small black hammer whilst running for his life. And on his tail was a murderous samurai with an unsheathed sword in his hands, deep frown on his face, screaming Murder (as in he's the murderer). And furthermore, a young girl with shoulder-length hair blocked his passageway, tapping her right feet in annoyance.

No, walking down the corridor was not a normal thing to do.

He held a diary – or rather, a notebook – in his right hand, flipping and reading its contents every moment or so. Two simple strides left were all it took for him to reach a large wooden door. With one free hand, he grasped the handle in front of him and pushed it open, observing the same background he always visited every single day.

An old man sat on a chair. With dozens of books stacked precariously around him, it was a wonder that anyone could spot his long, vertical hair jutting from his head. He glared at Lavi and threw a black book (20 cm thick, leather-bound) and continued reading.

"Ow! What the hell was that for, Panda!?"

A kick (50 kg, right foot, silk shoe) landed on the red-haired man's head, flinging him across the room.

That was what people observing the regular scene would say.

This is what it really meant.

Bookman Junior entered the library and looked at Bookman Senior, a sad look etched on his face. He couldn't take it any longer. He wanted to leave. The sight of his friends was painful. They trusted him. But did he deserve that trust?

Bookman Senior agreed. But his disciple had to keep going, for the sake of history and war. Call it a bashing or a pep talk, at least it worked on him.

That is why Lavi reviewed, rewrote, and jotted down for the 100th time, important information about the three most important members of the Order.

Bookman Junior looked at his own notes. Oh look, an anniversary-worthy number.

Things to remember: Poker demon, overly-heroic, somewhat reckless.

Personality: Innocent, naïve, hero-complex, etc.

To Lavi: Kid, Moyashi, Allen-chan –

"Hey, Lavi!" a figure waved at him, smiling his ever-charming smile of goodness. A person of pure innocence – no pun intended – and cherubic glory. Ironic: the boy was cursed.

"Yo, Moyashi! How's life?" Lavi mentally thought: 'It's crap', but all that came out from the younger boy's mouth was –

"It's fine, but please don't call me Moyashi!" How formal. Bookman Junior noted it down with his photographic memory.

They both walked down the corridor towards the cafeteria, chatting constantly; talking about the most trivial things (can PMS apply to men as well) to serious problems (recent Akuma attacks). As Lavi opened the cafeteria's doors, Allen barged in and ran straight towards the order counter.

Glutton, Lavi added to his observation notes.

He strolled calmly past the yellow? Orange? Vested people, and ordered for himself a nice, juicy steak accompanied by mashed potatoes. A simple meal. Carefully balancing his only tray, he walked towards a nearly full table (Allen's) and placed his own food on it. He observed from the corner of his left eye a marvellous sight of the boy's speedy munching and crunching. Shudder.

Wait, a Bookman does not shudder. He puts on a mask and laughs.

"Lavi." Well. He stopped eating. "Can I…ask you something?"

"Ask away, Allen-chan!"

"It's…not that important," Allen stuttered and fiddled with the red ribbon around his neck. "But I wanted to say this to someone." He shook his head and smiled sadly. "You probably wouldn't care, anyway."

Fire at will, his mind said. The mask said, "You never know!"

And fire he did. "What do you think would happen if the war is over?"

Lavi scratched his head and shrugged cheerfully. "We'll probably get on with out lives."

"No, I mean…how about our friends? Will Kanda go back to Japan? Will Lenalee and Komui live together again? Will you leave and become a Bookman?" Allen stopped talking and asked a last question, more to himself. "Will I still be…me?"

Bookman Junior decided to take off his mask and put on another one.

"We don't know what's going to happen, Allen," Lavi started. "We might die, they might die. We might lose." He took a deep breath and stopped. Is this what 'Lavi' was supposed to say? "But don't worry; we'll all be there for you in the end."

Allen took a chance to look at the older man's face. It was not his usual cheeky grin. It wasn't even a frown of concern.

Lavi touched his own face unconsciously. Replacing the laugh, or grin, or smirk he had, there was a sincere smile, the first since – five months and twenty-one days.

"Thanks, Lavi."

"No problem –"

"I mean it. Thank you for everything." Allen smiled – not a poker face, mind you – and offered his left hand. Lavi looked at it questioningly and sighed. Without warning, he raised his right hand and ruffled the boy's hair affectionately.

"You're too formal, kid!" he said with his trademark grin. "C'mon, there's no need to be like an old man!" Seeing the boy's stunned face turn to that of annoyance made him speak again. "Or is your age as white as your hair, Moyashi?"

"DON'T CALL ME MOYASHI, IDIOT RABBIT!" From such a small stature, such a loud voice could be produced…Lavi closed his ears and groaned. He'll need a hearing aid if the boy keeps on shouting like that.

Bickering as if they were still children – as if they were – no, Bookman Junior cannot say it. It's not allowed.

"You know, Lavi…" Allen spoke in an airy tone, as if to no one but himself. "If I ever had an older brother, it'd probably be you."

Bookman Junior gaped and watched the white-haired boy leave his side without blinking his eye. He didn't imagine those words. Allen had said what he wanted to say.

He took out his notebook again and started to write a simple statement about Allen Walker. Then again, Bookman Senior would kill him if he ever did. He stopped at the last moment and instead etched the information deep within his mind.

Allen Walker is the brother I never had.

Info: Komui's sister. Beware of Komurins and brother. Painful past because of Levrier and Exorcist experiments.

Personality: Protective, kind, can be annoying – sometimes –

To Lavi: Komui's little sister, Lenalee-chan, coffee-maker, just another Exorcist –

Lenalee was bored.

On that very day, no one had asked her, 'let's go and prank someone', or 'do you want to have lunch with me', or even a simple complaint. Everyone was busy, minding their own business, or cowering from her brother's over-protectiveness, or just trying to get on her good side. Not that she's complaining, of course.

It'd be nice if someone came up and said what they really think of me, she mused to herself. Maybe Allen would. Then again, he's too kind to say anything bad about anyone. Except Kanda. Hmm. But the samurai's on a mission.

It'd be nicer if nothing ever happened. No Earl or Noah. No one would die. No Akumas would kill everyone. She thought again, this time with a grimace: why should we die? Is it because we are the enemies of the Earl?

While she was walking, lost in thought, Bookman Junior flipped open and read his notes. Time to gather more information, he thought with a sigh.

"Hey, Lenalee?" he started, waving frantically at the girl to grab her attention. "Why the long face?"

She turned around and greeted the man with a small smile. "Hi, Lavi."

"So, how's life?" Again with that question. It's starting to get in his head, he mused.

"It's…" she stopped and stared deep into the green eye, the solitary left one, and plastered her infamous smile on her face. "It's alright, I guess."

Any idiot could even pierce through that smile and see the truth, Bookman Junior thought. Even an idiot like Kanda – oops, hope he didn't hear that. "Are you sure? You don't seem certain at all."

"I…I'm…" Lenalee stumbled on her own words, until she managed out a small "I hate being an Exorcist."

Lavi blinked once, then twice. The girl that he knew after Komui's arrival as the new Supervisor rarely complained. Who is she and what has she done with Lenalee Lee?

"I'm afraid, Lavi. Afraid of everyone being hurt and – dying. I'm not strong enough to protect everyone…"

Slap.

The girl paused. It was only a simple hit on her right cheek which didn't hurt at all. Not even a red mark was in sight. But something in that slap stopped her from speaking.

"Stop it, Lenalee. Just stop it."

She shook her head and spoke again. "I can't even protect myself –"

"LENALEE! Can't you see!?" Lavi shouted, very unlike himself. "If you keep on saying that, you'll really never be able to protect anyone! Everyone's depending on you – depending on us all!" He clenched his fist and spoke again, controlling his anger. "No one wanted to be in this war. But we're the only ones who might be able to win it!"

"I know, Lavi…" Lenalee whispered softly. "I know."

Bookman Junior stepped forward and hesitated. He couldn't have any feelings, wouldn't. Shouldn't. She was right in front of him. Would he contain his true feelings again?

Just this once, Bookman Junior told himself. Once.

Here he was, opening his arms and embracing the crying girl, in silence, as she wept bitter tears of – regret? Fear? Shame? Even the trained eyes of the Bookman Junior could only pick up fragments of what those emotions were.

Lenalee was surprised. She didn't expect anyone, especially Lavi to hug her out of nowhere. Of all people, why Lavi? Now that was just weird.

She sniffed once and faced the man with a small smile. "Who are you and what have you done with the cheerful Lavi?" she said playfully, hugging back the red-haired man.

"Hey, I can be emotional too, you know!" Lavi quickly replied, being his old self again.

The girl nodded and stepped back, rubbing the tears from her cheeks. She dashed away, leaving a final smile and a single sentence that made Bookman Junior stop.

"You're a good friend, Lavi."

Of course it was a simple sentence, but he thought long and hard about it. Until one Finder knocked him away from the middle of the corridor, that is. Bookman Junior felt something warm light up inside him – not because of spontaneous combustion – and it wasn't something that he had ever felt before.

Oh, no, he muttered. Oh, damn. And a string of curse words followed soon after as he realised what was starting to happen.

"No butterflies, please!" he shouted out loud, ignoring the strange stares from the people passing by. Instead, he muttered the two words over and over again, all the while punching his stomach. Hard.

Even though the official side of him didn't want to know it, a part of him remembered Lenalee Lee as something more.

Lenalee Lee – I don't have a crush on her – do I?

Imminent danger throughout. Anger management problems? Depressed? Strange curse…

Personality: Anything but showing kindness and compassion.

To Lavi: Yuu-chan, Kanda (serious), call names that make him angry

"YUU-CHAN! WELCOME BACK!" Lavi rushed past the unfortunate spectators he trampled through and flung himself, literally, into the dark figure of a very dark and angry samurai.

No surprise that all he got was a beating and a lashing.

At any rate, Bookman Junior had to keep his Lavi mask on again. At least around Kanda. He's an idiot –

"Atchoo!" Kanda rubbed his nose, somehow managing to retain his elegant and calm composure.

– but hopefully not superstitious.

"So, Yuu-chan! What did you do in the mission – eek."

"Don't. Call. Me. That." A sword was lodged exactly 3 millimetres from Lavi's left ear, piercing through a metal wall. Behind the wall was one man with thick glasses and a cup of coffee, silently praying for safety as he eyed his useless robot. So much for Komurin's extra security systems.

Does Lavi really accept Kanda Yuu as a friend? Bookman Junior wondered for awhile before asking the question he had asked twice.

"So, how's life, then?"

"Why the hell are you asking, Baka Usagi?" Kanda replied menacingly, grasping and pulling out his sword as if it was a butter knife in, well, butter. "It's crap as always."

Predictable of a not-so-sociable and compatible person to provide a similar answer as mine, thought Bookman Junior with a hidden smirk. "Aw, don't say that, Yuu-chan! Aren't you happy – eh."

"I TOLD YOU, DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

A series of battle scenes occur before Lavi was left lying in a forgotten heap, saved only by a kind passer-by. Kanda made his favourite 'tch' before rounding a corner swiftly. No, Lavi would not lose him. Not before he gathered enough info for the 100th time.

"Wait for me!" he shouted, running, despite his bloodied and bruised form towards Kanda. Time to get serious. "Are you alright, Yuu? Was the mission hard?"

"Don't call me that," Kanda replied again, this time a bit bored. And was that exhaustion in his voice? "What, hoping I would lose and die?"

"Of course not –"

"Damn right, I never lose against worthless scum like Akuma." But clearly, you're limping a bit, thought Bookman Junior. That's why it was easier to keep up with you. "They weren't even worth the time to…kill…"

"Alright, quit the act," Bookman Junior intervened, steadying the samurai's posture. "You're obviously hurt, Baka."

"BAKA!?" Kanda started, unsheathing his sword, before his companion cut his words and action short.

"It's not that hard to see that you didn't come out of the mission unharmed. Damn it, Yuu, why can't you just admit that you're as weak as some of us as well!?" he raised his voice as far as he could go without alarming the other people that were walking around. "We're all human! We can bleed and die! And if you keep on thinking that you're invincible, you'll probably lose everything in the end!"

Kanda could do nothing but stare at the suddenly serious Usagi with an apathetic expression.

"You have the others behind you. We got your back, so you've got to keep yours steady so we can watch over it!" Lavi finished with an exultant grin.

"Tch, what the hell are you blabbing on about, Baka Usagi?"

At least I tried, Bookman Junior thought. Too much, he added with a frown that could easily be passed off as disappointment.

"I'm going to the Medical Ward. Don't. Follow. Me." The samurai made a perfect 180-degree spin and walked away, leaving the Rabbit with a shocked face.

Kanda Yuu actually took his (hidden) advice, albeit in a simpler form.

"Now it's Kanda?" he muttered with a small smile. Now he had something else to say about him. Which cannot, under any circumstances, be seen by Bookman Senior.

Kanda Yuu is my best friend. A stubborn one, that is. Or possibly an enemy. Best Frenemy. Nice word.

Reckless, annoying, may be obnoxious, overly-emotional, gets carried away in trivial matters, etc.

"Reporting for duty."

"Well? Did you get any important information on those three main ones?"

"Sort of –"

" – is not a valid answer, Lavi."

"Ow!"

"Think about what you obtained today. Anything important that caught your mind?"

Bookman Junior rubbed the side of his aching head and nodded after a short moment. He smiled.

"Yes. Yes, there were."

After all, what good is a book without a soul, a story, and a rebellious heart?

Not up to your expectations? Feel free to comment on it.

Footnotes for the foolish (or just plain bored).

Baka Usagi: Stupid Rabbit. Japanese.

Moyashi: Beansprout. Japanese.

The number 100: Anniversary-worthy, because people seem to love associating it with special things. Like the 100th year that this magazine was published or something like that.

After all quote: Inspired by - something only vaguely remembered.

Sneezing: Japanese people have a belief. Sneeze once: someone's talking about you. More than thrice: you're sick. Something like that. I think.

Frenemy: Portmanteau (blended word) of 'friend' and 'enemy'.

Read and review. Cheers.

31/7/09