Goodbye, a tales of symphonia fanfic

Eh, he heh … well, second oneshot for this pairing … *sweatdrops*
Kratos: …
Yuan: *listens to song playing in background* … Kratos … I think she's going to be an evil bitch this time around …
Bad YUn-yun! Just for that, I WILL be an evil bitch!
Kratos: Yuan, you just had to condemn us …
Yuan: *blushes in embarrassment and hides beneath cape*
… okay then … I … own nothing …

氷・愛・来航 Goodbye

氷・愛・来航

"You're lying." The cobalt stated harshly, his emerald eyes snapping as he stared at the auburn human before him. "You … you HAVE to be lying. Why … why the hell do you want to go back to that damned place, Kratos?" Kratos sighed heavily to himself and looked away from his friend's face, mentally cursing Lloyd, who had made him do this.

"One of us has to leave, Yuan …" He began, only to be cut off as Yuan shook his head vigorously.

"No, one of us does NOT have to leave, Kratos!" He stated adamantly, although the taller man could see the hurt look in his eyes. "The only one of us that has ANY duty left with that place is dead!" Kratos winced; he knew who Yuan meant, and while it was the truth, the auburn still felt like he was responsible for taking care of the city as well.

"But I was Mithos' teacher, Yuan … I let him get away with all of this for far longer than you did …" He stated, trying to make Yuan see his reasoning. Drawing a deep breath, he went on with, "Besides, with Martel alive once again … I figured that you would want –" To Kratos' utter shock and surprise, Yuan reached out and slapped him silent, his emerald eyes darkened.

"It's not the same Martel, Kratos!" He snapped, voice far more dangerous than Kratos had ever heard it; not even when he had blackmailed Kratos with Lloyd's life had the cobalt sounded this angry. "My Martel died, and I moved on, but you still seem to be stuck in the past! Get your head out of your ass and THINK FOR A MOMENT! You have a SON that needs to have his father around him!"

"Lloyd is an adult, Yuan! He no longer needs me to baby him or support him!" Kratos retorted, voice rising slightly. The spot where Yuan had slapped him still stung, but he was not going to back down. "And all I have ever done for Lloyd is cause him pain and agony … what kind of child would want a father like that around!?"

"One who CARES!" Yuan responded, stepping up so that he stood in Kratos' face. "Lloyd doesn't give a flying rat's ass about what all you've done, he just wants to spend time with you! You're the only family member he has left! … Besides … I know you want to be there for the wedding we know will happen."

"He and Colette aren't even engaged yet!" Kratos retorted instantly, wondering if there was something wrong with Yuan. "They probably won't be married for at least five years, perhaps longer." Crossing his arms over his chest, Kratos glared back at Yuan, wine and emerald locked in a battle for supremacy. Yuan looked away first, his eyes starting to sting.

"Why are you so stubborn about this, Kratos!?" He finally demanded, turning to face Kratos again. "You act like this is all your fault, and yet the only thing you want to do is run away from this and hi –" Kratos finally lost himself, and before he could stop himself, his hand lashed out, striking Yuan backhanded across the face. Yuan stumbled and nearly fell, and his eyes went wide from shock and pain. Kratos had never smacked him before, not even when they had been enemies; slowly raising a hand up to the forming bruise, Yuan finally sighed and asked softly, "Kratos … why do you do this?"

Kratos was still trying to recover from the shock of his sudden action, the rage draining from him as quickly as it had arrived, guilt replacing him. "Yuan … I'm no longer needed here …It would be best if I was no longer here." He stated, and was about to turn and leave when Yuan's next words made him freeze.

"I need you here …" Stopping in his tracks, Kratos turned back to look at Yuan; the cobalt was looking at him wearing the saddest expression Kratos had ever seen on the half-elf's face. He even swore that he saw tears building in the corner of Yuan's sad emerald eyes, and the bruise that Kratos had just left on his face showed up a sickly green color against the pale alabaster of Yuan's skin. Not quite comprehending what Yuan had said, Kratos asked softly, "… Excuse me?"

"… I need you still, Kratos." Yuan said again, speaking slightly louder as he stepped towards the older seraph. Slowly, haltingly, he extended his arms and wrapped them about Kratos' shoulders, leaning against Kratos as he said softly, "You're the only person that's been constant for my life … you're the only one who's always been there … I just …" A sob escaped Yuan's tight control, and he felt the first tear run down his face as he finished softly, "I don't want you to go, Kratos; I don't feel like I would be … me without you …" another tear fell, and soon Yuan had his face buried in Kratos' shirt to hide his pain.

Kratos, startled, wrapped his arms around Yuan in an attempt to shush him, but felt himself wanting to smack himself inside; had he become Yuan's constant? But if that was the case, what about Martel … no, Martel had only been in the cobalt's life for a short time, and while she had meant a lot to them both, she didn't seem to have the impact that this was causing. Still not willing to comprehend this, Kratos sighed and tried to detach Yuan. "You'll be fine without me, Yuan …" He stated, only to find that Yuan gripped his shoulders tighter and clung to him in a vice grip.

"Kratos, please!" Yuan exclaimed, a sob punctuating his words. Looking up at Kratos' face, the cobalt whispered softly, ignoring the tears running down his face, "Please, can't you just stay … if only for now … Please, stay, dammit …!" Yuan wrapped his arms around Kratos' shoulders again and buried his face in the groove of the auburn's neck, drenching the fabric of Kratos' cape in seconds. Kratos stood still for a moment, but eventually sighed and stepped back a pace. Lightly grabbing under Yuan's chin, he tilted the wet face up to look at his.

Could he honestly do this? A part of him wondered quietly. Could he honestly stay for the night … and break both of them even more than they already were? Looking deep into Yuan's blurry, deep emerald eyes, Kratos saw all the pain, longing, and pleading in them, and a part of his heart twisted even more. Even if it would hurt the next morning, leaving Yuan as he was now would be even worse. Sighing softly, Kratos gave in, and he pulled Yuan into a kiss, instantly tasting the salt from the cobalt's tears.

Yuan's response was immediate; pressing back into Kratos' mouth, he opened his lips slightly, wanting to make sure that there was no going back from that point. Kratos obliged to the unspoken demand and thrust his tongue into the waiting cavern, feeling Yuan's vanilla-like taste blend with the salt from before. A shuddery moan escaped Yuan's mouth, and his hands reached up and buried themselves in Kratos' hair, pressing him in closer.

Breaking away to breathe after a moment, Kratos looked down at Yuan, and wasn't shocked to see that there were still tears flowing from his eyes. The cobalt looked up at Kratos and let out a soft sigh. "Please …" Kratos nodded and hushed Yuan with another kiss, and lifted the smaller man into his arms as he carried them to the bedroom, shutting the door behind them. Depositing Yuan gently on top of the bed, Kratos looked down at his face. "Are you … certain …?" He asked softly, only for Yuan's slim hand to cover his mouth. Nodding to show his understanding, the auburn pulled off their shoes before proceeding to kiss Yuan again, feeling his own heart breaking slowly and steadily with each gasp and moan he heard.

Neither one of them said a word the entire time, the feeling in the air bittersweet. Every kiss, every caress both soothed and hurt Kratos, and he knew that the moans and sighs he was hearing weren't just out of arousal. The pleasure that coursed through their bodies was both hot and cold, freezing their insides while it made their blood boil with lust and a need to copulate, if only for a moment in time. Yuan's fingers dug into the wild auburn locks of Kratos' hair, pressing them together not just for the pleasure that ensued when their arousals brushed against one another, but for the reassurance that Kratos was still there.

And when Kratos finally gave into his instincts and thrust inside his best friend, the tears that fell were of pain, but not just from the physical pain of being penetrated. The pained sob that reached Kratos' ears made the auburn wince in pain; why was he still doing this to his friend? Why was he watching him, making him break? About to pull out, Kratos stopped when Yuan glanced at him over his shoulder, his emerald eyes pleading and wet. Unable to deny neither the look nor the need in his body, Kratos sighed and continued to pierce Yuan, listening as the cries of pain slowly subsided, replaced by softer, forced moans of nothing but pleasure.

When reality came crashing down on them at the height of the moment, Kratos cried out in both pain and fulfillment as his climax passed through him, taking what was left of his heart with it. Beneath him, Yuan let out a long, low noise that sounded somewhere between a sob and a moan, his arms giving out on him, Kratos falling atop. They laid like that for a moment, both of them making sure that the evening was engraved into their minds. Once Kratos pulled out and laid beside him, Yuan turned around and looked at him sadly, the trails left by his tears standing out against the pale skin and the bruise on his cheek. After a moment's consideration, Kratos reached out to use First Aid on it, only to stop as Yuan's hand caught his. Before the auburn could move, Yuan had snuggled up close to him, wrapping an arm tightly about him and pinning him close. Kratos sighed in defeat and embraced Yuan as well, feeling a tear of his own fall past his face.

氷・愛・来航

The next morning, Kratos rose slowly, blinking blearily at the sun. It was time he left … looking down at Yuan again, he sighed and untangled the cobalt's thin arm from around his waist, letting it gently drop back to the mattress. Silently, he dressed, never once looking at the sleeping half-elf. Upon dressing, he turned and looked slowly, tears burning up his own eyes as he slowly knelt back onto the mattress and placed a kiss to Yuan's lips, soft, brief, and sad. "Goodbye …" He murmured, voice strangled. Before he could completely lose his resolve and stay, Kratos rose and walked to the door. Opening it, he hesitated, wanting to look back over his shoulder but stopped, shaking his head; he couldn't look.

"Goodbye … Yuan." He murmured again, allowing the first tear to slip past his iron façade and streak down his face. Before he hesitated any longer, Kratos stepped out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him. Hurrying out of the small house, Kratos refused to look back at it until he was too far away from it for him to give in and run back in there. And even as he stood there, staring at the lonely building, the auburn knew that no matter what happened now, that had been the last time he would ever see Yuan until the next life, and there was no going back to their experience the night before. "Yuan …" Kratos whispered again, voice almost too soft for him to hear. Turning around once his vision of the house became blurry again, Kratos walked away slowly, not even bothering to rub away the tears that were still falling.

Inside the house, unbeknownst to Kratos, Yuan had awoken the moment the auburn had said goodbye. And although he wanted nothing more than to grab Kratos and keep him there, he let him go, acting like he was asleep. The moment the door had shut, Yuan sat up and stared at it, lost and bewildered and in a pain that was too sharp to be imaginary; Kratos had just … left … for good. The pain stabbed at Yuan again, and the cobalt slowly laid back down and rested his hand on the place where Kratos had been laying; it was almost completely cool again. Sobbing faintly, Yuan shifted so that he laid partially on top of the spot, burying his face into the pillow that the auburn had used last night. Amidst the sharp smell of bleach and laundry detergent, Yuan smelt the crisp, spicy scent that was Kratos', and he sobbed again as pain from his sore rear finally registered in his mind, mostly numbed by the other pain. Closing his eyes as the pain in his body jabbed at his back and heart, Yuan let himself cry.

"Goodbye … Kratos …"

氷・愛・来航

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

(You've gone away …)
(You don't feel me here, anymore …)

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone

(You've gone away …)
(You don't feel me here, anymore …)
-"Broken" By Seether and Amy Lee

氷・愛・来航

Yuan: BITCH!! *Attacks Li*
*hides* I'm so sorry!! This got stuck in my head and wouldn't leave! * continues to apologize as she runs from a pissed off Yuan*