Detective Conan/Case Closed- Dr. Phil!

Character Pairing: Kogoro Mouri and Eri Kisaki (and some Shinichi and Ran)

Genre: Romance/Drama

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan, it's all Gosho Aoyama's............................

Summary: It's Shinichi and Ran's wedding, and Kogoro and Eri can stop fighting. Shinichi and Ran have had enough. Before the couple heads off on their honeymoon, they call for marital help for Ran's parents from none other than... DR. PHIL!?!?!

Dr. Phil!

Chapter 2: The Idea...

"Humph! I really HATE you, Kogoro!" Eri hissed, glowering at her husband.

"Not as much as I hate YOU, Eri! {HIC}" Kogoro mumbled.

"... {SIGH} Let's at least pretend to get along for the rest of the reception. Ran's right. We both acted like kids... though your form of a kid is ALWAYS DRUNK!!!" Eri shouted.

"{HIC} Yah, yah, yah... I'm only going to act because Ran will never forgive me if I ruin the rest of her wedding. Besides... why were you so mad about me putting my head on your lap!? That ain't the first time that I've done that..." Kogoro mumbled, blushing.

"WHY DO YOU THINK!?!?! Th-that was so embarrassing!!! We were in room filled with people, and you just sexually harassed me!?!" Eri whined, blushing.

"Yah, but I'm your husband!" Kogoro growled.

"... {INHALE} YOU STUPID, INCONSIDERATE, WOMENIZING, DRUNKARD!!!!!!" Eri screamed at Kogoro.

Back inside the reception, Ran sighed. Shinichi sighed as well. They could hear Eri screaming at Kogoro from inside the noisy church recreational hall.

"We have to do something about this! It's getting really old!" Ran whined.

"What can we do!? They're adults, and we aren't allowed to boss them around. Those two are not fixable... I'm sorry, Ran, but you got to start taking it into consideration that those two will always be like this..." Shinichi sighed, looking at his new wife.

"NO! I will not accept that! They can't hate each other! If they did then they should be divorced, but they aren't! I think they still love each other, but they are too stubborn to admit it... Please, Shinichi! I want to help them, but... I don't know how!" Ran whimpered, hugging Shinichi.

"Wait! I have an idea... it may be strange, but I saw it advertised on TV!" Shinichi started.

"What's that?" Ran asked.

"The international marriage counseling episode of Dr. Phil... It's scheduled in a few weeks... I don't know if they'll make it on, but maybe he could help your parents. He has helped many people in many ways. I've never been a HUGE fan, but I've seen a few episodes and who knows... It might allow them to talk things out instead of screaming at each other, seeing as an audience will be there. Just as long as Kogoro doesn't flirt with a girl in the audience..." Shinichi suggested.

"... How do you sign up?" Ran asked.

"They have a website were you post an application and if he finds you as an eligible couple, he'll have an interview with the couple, and if they get past the interview stage, they'll be on the show." Shinichi explained.

"...When we get home... before we head on our honeymoon can we fill out an application for my parents?" Ran asked.

"Yep... now forget about that. Let's just have fun. This is our day, not theirs, so let's make it the most memorable one!" Shinichi said, kissing Ran's forehead.

Eri and Kogoro were allowed back into the reception when they agreed to stop fighting during the wedding. They stayed away from each other so they wouldn't be tempted to scream at each other.

After the reception, Ran and Shinichi headed home. Shinichi and Ran looked at the website. It was designed where you could pick different languages for your fill-in sheet. The fill-in sheet looked something like this when Ran and Shinichi were done:

Welcome to the Dr. Phil official website! If you think you are eligible or someone close to you is eligible for the special international episode of Dr. Phil for marriage (and in some cases, soon-to-be-married) counseling, please fill in the questionnaire below for the couple this applies to.

The Person Responsible for Filling this Out: Kudo Ran (daughter of the couple)

Language of the Couple: Japanese

Will we/they need a translator: Yes, unless my husband (Kudo Shinichi can translate for them)

Names of the Couple: Mouri Kogoro and Kisaki Eri

Status in our/their Marriage (check all that apply): Fiancés ( ), Newlyweds ( ), Married More than a Year(X), Married More than Ten Years (X), Separated (X), Divorced ( ).

Write a short summary of what is our/their main reason(s) causing our/their need on the show: They have been separated for 10 years. Neither of them have divorced though Ms. Kisaki (my mother) refuses to go by Mrs. Mouri. Mom's reasons for leaving Kogoro (my father) is his addiction to smoking, drinking, gambling, and his actions of womanizing... Also she was feed up with his bad, ungrateful attitude towards her. My father's reasons for never getting back with her is every chance he gets, he messes up by doing something immature, and he acts like he can't stand her even though I believe he actually still loves her (vise versa for her). They crossed the line to this point by continue to fight and act immature at me and my husband's wedding.

How did we/they meet: They're childhood friends. They met back in grade school.

If we/they had any children, list he/she/their info. Below:

Number of children: 1

Name(s): Mouri (Now: Kudo) Ran

Age(s): 19

Who is this/these child/children living with: The Father ( ), The Mother ( ), Both ( ), Other (X): I was living with my father, but I moved into my husband's home once we were married

Occupation of Father: Private Investigator

Occupation of Mother: Lawyer

Is there anyone else living with either of these individuals: No, but a boy named Edogawa Conan used to live with Dad and me. He was a 7 year old who's parents got in an accident and couldn't care for him. We cared for him for about a year. (A/N: Shinichi and Ran decided to mention this just in case Eri or Kogoro mentioned it)

Any other comments/questions you'd like to add: My mother and father don't like my husband because he is a detective like my father. My mother doesn't like him because she thinks he'll break my heart because he's a detective and my childhood friend just like my father was with my mother. My father doesn't like him because he thinks Kudo Shinichi (my husband) is stealing all my father's cases.

Email Address for Contact: (A/N: I made that up...)

Home Phone for Contact: (909) 451-6342 (A/N: Again made that up so DON'T TRY IT!!!)

Ran hit the submit button and it was sent. Shinichi and Ran finally were at peace. They made love that night for the first time as husband and wife and finished their packing for their honeymoon to Hawaii.

Shinichi and Ran went to Hawaii the next day and spent a week there. They had so much fun and really got to connect during the trip. They got back after the trip and had gotten an e-mail from Dr. Phil's website. It said that they would like to have an interview with Kogoro Mouri and Eri Kisaki (They pronounced it in the standard English way).The spokesperson who sent the reply email said that a scout which was already in Japan would have the interview with Ran's parents on a scheduled day at a scheduled place and time. The hard part was convincing Kogoro and Eri to show up for the interview. Dr. Phil would be asking them some questions as well through an advanced web cam. Shinichi agreed to act as their translator.

The day of the interview was quite interesting... Shinichi had translated word for word back and forth for them as Kogoro and Eri were asked questions. The two of them had only come because Ran had threatened them with karate again and said that they owed her one for messing up part of her and Shinichi's wedding. The two of them did their interview and were selected for the show. Kogoro, Eri, Shinichi, and Ran were given airplane tickets to the USA to do the show in the official studio. This is word for word what their show segment sounded like...

Dr. Phil: Hi, welcome. These two are Mouri Kogoro and Kisaki Eri from Japan. I will ask them the questions in English. Shinichi will repeat the question in Japanese. They will reply, and then, Shinichi will tell me their reply in English. Please, Mr. Mouri and Ms. Kisaki get yourselves comfortable.

(A/N: Shinichi did his job the rest of the time. I'm not going to re-write it though)

Kogoro: Hai, arigato (Shinichi: Yes, thank you), I'm Mouri Kogoro, THE Mouri Kogoro. I'm a famous Meitantei (Shinichi: Great detective... Though, I don't fully agree with that, but I'll hold my opinion because I have to translate correctly...).

Eri: Arigato, I'm Kisaki Eri, Kogoro's wife, but we're separated. I'm a lawyer.

Dr. Phil: Yes, anyway, why do you think you are here? We'll start with Ms. Kisaki.

Eri: I don't really know the details. Ran told me if I didn't go, she'd hold a grudge against me for ruining part of her wedding. I was told its some sort of international version of your show for marriage counseling. Why I'm here, I don't know, though...

Kogoro: Me neither. Ran's been trying to set us back up for a long time, but she's never went this far before. I only came because she punched a hole in my desk again and threatened to do the same to me.

Dr. Phil: Um... Is your daughter abusive?

Kogoro: Oh, no. She's a really nice daughter, but she's a black belt in karate. She also was the captain of her team in high school, and the city championship winner... Yah, she does threatened me sometimes, Kudo-kun as well, but half the time I actually deserve it.

Dr. Phil: On average, how much do you two fight?

Kogoro: Probably every time we see each other which is almost always because Ran set us up again. But isn't fight common of separated couples?

Dr. Phil: Quite the opposite. Yes, couples that are separated do often fight, but this video we put in your office (It has subtitles) is proof that you two have some serious communication issues.

Eri: EH!?! Video! When did you tape us!?!

Kogoro: Come to think of it... Ran said that someone was coming to install something... I was drunk at the time and wasn't really paying attention.

Dr. Phil: Well, let's run the video. This is segment when Eri-chan came over because Ran-chan requested you two go to dinner again as a double date.

VIDEO RUNS

Kogoro: Oi, oi! Eri, what the hell are you doing here!?!

Eri: Ran invited me over because she wanted us to have dinner together with her and Kudo-kun...

Kogoro: Jeez, she doesn't even live here anymore, and she's inviting people to my house.

Eri: Where is Ran and that detective anyway.

Kogoro: They never told me they were coming over so I have no clue. Well, I guess you can leave then.

Eri: Baka! What kind of hospitality is that!?

Kogoro: Oi! I didn't invite you over! Ran did, so I don't have to do a thing for you!

Eri: Such bad manners! You can't even offer me a drink!?

Kogoro: Fine, do you want a drink?

Eri: No...

Kogoro: THEN WHY DID YOU NAG ME ABOUT IT!?!

Eri: Because it's common courtesy! BAKA!

Kogoro: Don't call me a 'baka'! You may be this high class snutty queen of lawyers, but you don't have to rub it in!

Eri: What that your an ahou!?!!!!

Kogoro: Eri, what are you even still doing here!

Eri: I don't even know. I'm calling Ran, right now and telling her that I am not 'double dating' with her with this baka tantei! Mr. Meitantei, yah, right! It was Kudo-kun who got you that title! If it weren't for him, you would've still be considered an BAKA!!!!!!!

Kogoro: That punk simply finished what I was going to say before I could say it.

Eri: Only about 5 of those case you solved were solved with you awake! Even then 'Conan-kun' gave you hints the whole way through! You wouldn't have solved a single one of them if 'Conan-kun' hadn't been there to string you hint after hint! That's why you can't solve a case now, ahou, baka, you insensitive jerk!!!!

Dr. Phil: Okay, clearly you two have some issues. Mrs. Kudo, said that she was tired of your fighting. She said that you were even fighting at her wedding. You were fighting and causing a scene at your own daughter's wedding!

Audience: Ooh!!! (shaking there heads at both Eri and Kogoro)

Dr. Phil: That is unacceptable. Also, you've been separated for 10 years and never gotten divorced. Why do you think that is? With Eri being a lawyer, I think divorce papers would be easy to get a hold of.

Shinichi: (In English) Um, I know in America people aren't addressed with "Kun", "San", "Chan", etc., but in Japan it is only polite to address someone you don't know well with one of them. For Eri I suggest you call her Eri-san or Eri-chan. Kogoro would be Kogoro-kun or Kogoro-san.

Dr. Phil: Oh, thank you, Shinichi... I mean, Shinichi-kun, right?

Shinichi: Yes, perfect.

Eri: Anyway... I don't honestly know why we waited 10 years to get actually divorce papers which we still haven't gotten. I guess it seems a nuisance to fill out the legal information when the current system we have established property-wise is fine as it is. Why does it matter, Phil-kun? There are American couples who never divorce but remain separated their whole life.

Kogoro: I couldn't agree more... for once.

Dr. Phil: True as that may be, if this was a normal relationship you two have then you won't be on this show. First of all, who's decision was it for the split.

Eri: Well, I was the one to walk out on him, but it was more of a mutual decision over time.

Kogoro: Exactly...

Dr. Phil: Eri...chan. What is the main reason you left Kogoro?

Eri: (Slightly annoyed) Because he's an egotistical, smoking-addict, womanizing, gambling-addict, drunkard! Also, he was so selfish and ungrateful of me.

The Audience: Ooh... (shaking their head at Kogoro)

Kogoro: Look, yes, I'm a heavy smoker. I do gamble a bit more then I probably should, and I admit I'm male so I do act sort of perverted at times, but I'm not a drunkard nor am I egotistical, selfish, and ungrateful. I'm not an alcoholic (Shinichi breaks into laughter and earns a glare from Kogoro).

Dr. Phil: Shinichi-kun, what is so funny about that statement?

Shinichi: I'm sorry, but Kogoro, no offense but I went through a year of you smacking me on the head during cases as Conan. Talk about child abuse, and you've put Ran in situations where she had to act like Kisaki-san because you almost put yourself into millions and millions of yen in debt. I remember correctly, you did get yourself into a situation where you would've been millions of yen in debt, and Kisaki-san and my mother bailed you out of it... You don't know the value of yen, well, because this has happened more than once and either Kisaki-san, Ran, or I have had to bail you out of it...

Kogoro: Brat... fine, I have issues with money, but I've gotten better, and I'm not an alcoholic. (Shinichi stifled another chuckle)

Dr. Phil: How many alcoholic drinks do you consume on an average day?

Kogoro: I don't know 4-6 beers in cans...

Dr. Phil: You're an alcoholic!

Kogoro: B-but, wait a minute.

Dr. Phil: You are an alcoholic. Now, Kogoro, why didn't you want Eri to come back?

Kogoro: …............... I-I never said I didn't want Eri to come back... {BLUSH}

Eri: {BLUSH} K-Kogoro...

Kogoro: And for your information Eri, I didn't become a heavy smoker or an alcoholic till... till you left. I admit I do act like a pervert, and I play mahjong and bet on horse racing too much, but I didn't become such a high consumer of alcohol and cigarettes till after you left. So stop saying I was like that before you left because I wasn't! I admit I did say some mean stuff about your cooking b-but it was kind of... well it was pretty bad! Also, I know I was the main cause of half our arguments, but Eri, we were exactly the same when we were in middle school and high school and probably grade school too... Yes, we were like that ever since we met, but I loved that about you, Eri. I wouldn't have married you if I didn't love you! Eri... I still love you, but... with the way I treated you... I did think I was worthy enough to be your husband. I still couldn't bring myself to make it official, though, because I didn't want it to be official. Eri, I don't want us to divorce! {BLUSH}

(Shinichi is in shock as he translates)

Eri:... K-Kogoro, I- NO! You think you can sugarcoat me and this audience with this sudden act of kindness! I won't fall for it! If I fall for it, tomorrow you'll be yelling at me for another beer and bossing me around like I'm Ran. I HATE YOU, KOGORO! Stop b-breaking my heart! {SNIFFLE} I-I can't take all those broke promises and all those lies! I can't forgive you, you detectives and childhood friends! It's all too good to be true! (Staring at both Kogoro and Shinichi)

Kogoro: Eri, don't bring Shinichi into this... Shinichi isn't me. I know Shinichi would never do to Ran what I have done to you. Eri, nothing I said before about my love for you is a lie! Eri, I didn't fight for you to come back because you deserve so much more than me. What I did to you was mean, and for that I-I'm sorry.

Eri: Why can't I bring Shinichi into this? Shinichi is like you! Kudo Shinichi hurt my daughter for almost a year!

Kogoro: ERI!

Eri: NO!!! I can't forgive Shinichi for hurting Ran, for using you as a puppet, and for taking advantage of you two.

Kogoro: HE DIDN'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF US!!! Eri, I... I know I have a hard time getting over the whole Sleeping Kogoro thing, but I forgave Shinichi a while ago because he did what he did to protect Ran and me. If he had told us, we could've been targeted and killed! Shinichi did what he did to save us so I forgave him.

Shinichi: YOU DID!?!?! Then, why are you always glaring at me when I get to close to Ran!?

Kogoro: Because Ran's my little girl, and I have fatherly instincts to protect her when it comes to boys... I'm getting over it now since you're married now, but it takes adjusting. Now, Eri, I don't care if you hate my guts, but please... would you leave Kudo-kun alone. He has done nothing wrong.

Eri:......Fine, and K-K-Goro...

Kogoro: {BLUSH} Wow, you haven't called me that in a while. Yes, dear?

Eri: K-Kogoro if you promise, and I mean REALLY promise, to cut down on the smoking, gambling, drink, and perverted actions... I... I think I can forgive you.

Kogoro: (Shocked) Oh, Eri... ok, I'll do it but only if you promise me one thing... (Looking serious)

Eri: What's that, dear?

Kogoro: You have to either move back in with me and never leave again or divorce me... because I can't take this separation thing any longer...

Everyone in the Place Except Kogoro and Eri looked at the two of them shocked, especially Shinichi and Ran. Eri made a sneaky smile which she quickly hid.

Eri: I guess I won't mind moving back in but what would we do with my apartment?

Kogoro smiled.

Kogoro: Who cares about that! We'll figure that out later!

Kogoro then stood up and pulled Eri up in a hug, a single tear fell from his eyes. 'Finally!' He thought to himself.

Dr. Phil looked at the couple.

Dr. Phil: I guess I wasn't need that much actually, but you two have been extremely nice and cooperative. I'd like to help you guys out with one thing. Kogoro-kun and Eri-chan, I'm going to give you 2 tickets for a trip to Hawaii sort of like a second honeymoon or something. It's 7 days, 6 nights in Maui, Hawaii. Hotel accommodations are included with the package.

Kogoro and Eri: W-WHAT!?!

Kogoro and Eri looked at each other, shocked, a little nervous, and happy all at the same time.

Shinichi and Ran smiled as the couple hugged once again. Kogoro and Eri thanked Dr. Phil and sat down. The show continued ,and when it was over, Kogoro, Eri, Shinichi, and Ran were headed back to Japan.

A week later, Kogoro and Eri were on a plane to Hawaii. Throughout the week before they left it consisted mainly of them figuring everything out. They did fight, but they ended up laughing over it in the end. Shinichi and Ran were both very happy to see the Mouri's back together and yes, Eri was officially, legally, technically, etc. Mouri Eri again. They were even to the pointed where Eri and Kogoro shared the same bed again. Also, they had managed to get to the pointed where they were kissing again. Even though, they sometimes acted like nothing had changed, both of them were much more happier. Kogoro quit smoking and only drank a beer a day. Eri made sure he kept his word on the gambling at least to the point where he wasn't spending enough to put them in debt or spend money for expenses. Kogoro somehow noticed that with Eri back and being so wonderfully sweet to him, he didn't feel attracted to too many women anymore. When he was attracted, he'd simply kiss Eri to remind himself who actually mattered to him. He stopped be such a jerk to Eri, but he did still get on Shinichi's nerves sometimes. Also, when Shinichi and Ran announced that Ran was pregnant with a boy, Kogoro couldn't resist giving Shinichi "The Eye", but Shinichi had to admit, he didn't really want it any other way because it would be plain creepy having Kogoro be nice to him.

A/N: I might add one last chapter as a side story, but I'm not sure. We'll see. Thanks for waiting patiently. Please, Review! Ok, I changed my mind. This was supposed to be a comedy, but it turned out to be drama instead...