Prettyinpinkgal: If any of you have read my story "Destiny", this oneshot may be reminiscent of the events that occur in one chapter. Still, I hope you enjoy this story. It sort of just occurred to me a few minutes ago: In "Destiny", Sophie was introduced to movies through chick flicks. But what if Sophie had watched a horror film? Most likely, nothing good will come of it.

Note: This takes place after the novel and is not connected to "Destiny". Also, I've not seen "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" so please bear with me. ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. =( The title comes from HMC.

DESPAIR, ANGUISH, AND HORROR

"Come on, Sophie," Howl was whining.

"Howl, I said no!"

They were in front of a cinema in Wales. Howl had insisted on taking her there, and Sophie decided it was as interesting a place as any for their first outing together as a couple. However, things, of course, were not going as well as she had expected.

She did not feel comfortable in the clothes she was wearing: Howl had changed her dress into a blouse with a skirt which was scandalously short--why, it was almost to her knees! She was surprised to find that she was actually showing less leg than many of the other women her age.

She did not feel comfortable with the strange Welsh slang. Apparently, she was on a "date", as a waitress had asked and Howl had replied in the affirmative. Sophie was sure she would be asked something and Howl would be gone somewhere and she'd reply incorrectly.

She did not feel comfortable with Howl's attention. Ever since the Witch of the Waste had been defeated a few weeks ago, he had been busy attending meetings with Wizard Suliman and the king, and he rarely had any time left over in his own home, let alone time to spend alone with Sophie. They would find time to argue, naturally, but this was natural for them. If this was their happily ever after, they had anticipated there would be times when they would butt heads, but it was fun, and it would not be them if they did not argue.

There would be times, however, when Howl and Sophie would be in very good moods--or neither had done anything to provoke the irritation of the other--they would smile at each other a secret smile which no one else could replicate unless they themselves were so deeply in love.

Today was a Saturday, and yesterday Howl had declared he had plenty of free time this weekend. "Sophie, we should go somewhere, just the two of us," he announced when they were alone. Michael had gone out to see Martha (whom he still occasionally called Lettie) and Calcifer went outside to explore the world. Sophie had blushed and nodded, scrubbing the floor with vigor. Howl left to attend to the flower shop, and seemed very pleased.

She had not thought their outing would be in Wales, where everything was so different from what she was used to. Sophie refused to argue with Howl about it, however; she was determined to enjoy this brief time alone with him.

And she wouldn't have been able to argue with him, anyway. He hardly kept his eyes off her, and when some men passed them and whistled, Howl wrapped his arm possessively around Sophie's waist. It was terribly sweet, and Sophie could not help but enjoy this. For once, he was not being overly dramatic, nor was he teasing her...much.

But she would not enter this building called a "cinema", even if she was possibly starting a row between them by refusing to go in.

"It's haunted," Sophie now explained, shivering. "And look what they do to people who go in!" She pointed a quivering finger towards several large pictures, which contained people frozen in time, but looked far too realistic to be a painting or portrait. "How could you possibly want to go into such a place?!"

Howl laughed. "My dear Sophie, they're only photographs. They're not real people. And people do come out!"

"I haven't seen any," Sophie replied reproachfully.

"Because they're inside watching a film. They're like plays, but on a large screen and you're not watching it live. You'll understand what I mean if you watch one."

"No!"

"Please Sophie?" He got down on his knees in front of Sophie and everyone passing by, who watched the scene with amusement. "Please, please, pleeeeaasse?"

"Howl!" Sophie whispered fiercely, embarrassed. "Get up this moment!"

"Please, please--"

"Oh, fine, for pity's sake. Just get up!"

Howl got up promptly and dusted himself off, an annoying grin on his face. "Thank you, Sophie!"

"Why do you want to go to one of those 'films' so badly, anyway?"

Howl shrugged. "It's what you do on dates, and I want to give you a taste of dating in my world." He was now looking far too pleased, which bothered Sophie greatly. If Howl wanted to do something this badly, Sophie reasoned, it could not lead to any good.

"Sophie, look!" He pulled her over to one of the posters. "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre's playing again! My first R-rated movie," he said nostalgically.

"I don't know what you mean by 'R-rated', but I don't think the name sounds very promising. It has the word 'massacre' in it. And this is a play?"

"Something like it. Do you want to watch it?"

Sophie sighed. "Fine." After all, if it was a play, how bad could it be?

Howl sat with excitement as he sat beside Sophie, introducing her to the concept of popcorn, perhaps the greatest invention in his world. As she cheerfully ate, he felt very pleased indeed. He finally had some alone time with Sophie, and he was about to play the classic move: comforting a girl when she's frightened at the movies to make yourself look good and spend time holding her without her slapping you. Ah, yes, it would be very nice.

Besides, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre was one of his favorite films.

The movie started, and Howl anxiously awaited the moment when Sophie would scream and cling to him desperately. Some frightening bits at last came, and he did the also-classic move: stretching, then wrapping an arm around the girl. Sophie was much too occupied with the film to notice, however, although she did initially jump before mentally noting, "It's just Howl."

While Howl sat, anticipating the time when Sophie would throw herself nervously at him, the girl sat stiffly, watching the scenes. The scenes look far too real. The blood... This is just a play, Sophie, so snap out of it! Unfortunately, Sophie was very ill-prepared for such a film. Plays were one thing; films were something else entirely. The effects were disconcertingly realistic, scenes looked very close-up, and Sophie felt as though she was in the movie, while in a theatre in Ingary you almost always were aware that the play was fake.

At several points, she was so tense that she screamed bloody murder along with the characters. Howl seemed amused, but Sophie paid little mind. She was far too engrossed in the film than the man beside her. Oh, she hoped the murderer didn't get them! However, he kept coming back.

She was very tempted to scream and grab onto Howl for dear life, but her pride kept her from doing so. He'll only tease me. Just be brave, Sophie! Have courage! You faced the Witch on your own, didn't you? And this is merely a play!

It did not work. Sophie felt terribly dizzy. "Get ahold of yourself, Sophie," she whispered to herself, but the screams coming from the screen drowned out her words.

Howl seemed antsy beside her, tapping his foot occasionally. "Are you afraid, Howl?" she asked him, thinking that to be the cause of his restless movement.

"Me? No, I'm not. But if you ever need some comfort, you can, you know, lean over my way a bit," Howl replied in a very nonchalant voice.

"That's all right. I'm just fine." Which was a complete lie. But there was no way she would give Howl that satisfaction of knowing she was frightened.

And she did not reveal that she was frightened until the end of the film, when Howl stood and turned, disappointed, to Sophie, and was alarmed to find her passed out.

When Sophie came to, the sun was just starting to sink beneath the land. She felt something soft under her head. Sitting up on the bench, she took it in her hands and realized it was Howl's rugby jacket, folded to be used as a pillow. Sophie realized its wearer was beside her, holding her hand.

"Good, you're awake," he said, relief and guilt intermingling in his voice.

"How long have we been out of that...cinema thing?"

"About two hours."

"Oh." She felt horribly guilty. "I'm sorry."

Howl glared at her fearsomely. "Don't you dare apologize! I'm the one who selfishly took you there! When did you pass out?"

"What? Oh, about...." She filled him in on the last scene she remembered, shuddering.

"That was halfway through the film." Howl groaned. "Drat it all! I'm so sorry, Sophie. You can hit me if you like. I didn't even realize... Do you forgive me?"

Sophie blushed when she realized his hand was still wrapped around her own. "Of course. You didn't realize I had a horrible fear of blood. And I've never seen a...play quite so violent."

"A fear of blood?" he repeated. Then he cursed. "I'm scum, absolute rubbish! Sophie, you have my complete permission to do whatever you like to me."

"I just said I forgave you. I was the one who was too proud to say I was frightened."

"Still, I purposely took you to one of the most frightening movies ever made!"

Sophie stared at him, then burst into laughter. "When do we ever argue like this?" she asked in between giggles. "We always blame each other for things, not argue about it being our own fault!"

He could not help but smile as well. "I suppose you're right," he chuckled.

"And you're being terribly honest right now. It's strange."

"All the more reason for you not to complain when I'm my normal, dishonest self."

Sophie grinned, as did Howl. But the latter's smile faded as he said, "In all seriousness, you deserve to punish me. I made this a miserable experience for you." He closed his eyes, and decided he would allow himself to be good and honest until Sophie sufficiently slapped him enough.

However, when he felt a featherlight brush of lips on his cheek, his eyes shot open.

Sophie blushed terribly as she stood carefully, still terribly lightheaded. "You've been sweet lately," she explained bashfully. "I didn't think you deserved a punishment."

Howl stared blankly at her, then a smile broke through on his stunned face. This, he thought, was far better than any comforting in a movie theatre! He picked her up and spun her round and round, causing her to squeek like the mouse she was and demand to be put down, but laughing all the same.

And they hopped into his car and drove off into the sunset, just like in the movies.