A/D: I do not own Merlin. Period.

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Waking up every morning next to your prince had its upsides. Loads of it.

For instance, you could be awoken by the tight heat of their expert blow jobs. Which was what Merlin was waking up to this morning.

Moaning softly, he bucked his hips slightly. "Don't stop..." He could feel the smile on the older man's face. The brunette growled in protest as he felt a slight draft in his nether regions. Arthur crawled on top of him and planted butterfly kisses all over as he moved. As their lips met, he knew he couldn't stay mad at him at all.

"Good morning." He whispered huskily as he bit on playfully on Merlin's bottom lip. Merlin thought he whispered his reply in his lust-hazed mind. Lying back on his back, Arthur nudged Merlin into a position that gave him access to hold the slighter man tightly in his arms. Both laid there in the morning warmth, neither wanted to move. Finally, Merlin scooted out of his lover's arms and went over to find his clothing items. As he dressed, the blonde watched puzzled. "What are you doing Merlin?"

"What does it look like?" He replied, shimmying into his pants. "I'm going to get your breakfast."

Sighing deeply, blue eyes frowning, Arthur said softly, "You don't have to do it, you know. You could always pretend-"

"Pretend what? Pretend I'm not your manservant?" Merlin grinned in an amused way. "I am what I am, Arthur. There's no denying that." He bent down and picked up his shoes, rising only to meet stormy eyes. "What is it? Did I do something wrong again?"

Arthur shook his head as he pursed his lips and shuffled out of bed. Sitting by the window, draped only with a blood red sheet, he looked every inch a long lost pagan god. The sun caught in his hair and made every strand come alight like molten fire. The sight made Merlin swallow hard.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I did." His voice sounded sad. Looking over at him from his perch, he continued, "I should've never made you my manservant." The words stung. Hard. Not sensing the shift, Arthur went on, "I should've never kept you by my side, should've-"

Stunned, his own blue orbs betrayed his hurt. "You regret? Me?" His voice came out choked. Arthur's eyes widened in horror. "Does...does this mean you regret us as well?" Swiftly, the blonde went over to the door.

"No! No. It's no-" He was quickly silenced with an icy glare. Placing his hands on the same shoulders he'd kissed so tenderly earlier on, he said emphasized on each word. "It's not what you think. I-"

Brushing his hands off brusquely, he looked his master straight in the eyes. Merlin slowly hissed every word. "If it displeases you so. Then I quit., Your Highness." Turning around, he placed a hand on the doorknob. "I'll send someone up with your breakfast."

With a small click of the lock, he was gone.

His reputation was apparently more important than Merlin. Or so he's thought. Uther had left his heir a mountain of things to do while he was gone with delegates to neighbouring kingdoms. Around the later part of the evening, the Prince was called away to the borders of Albion where there'd been whispers of rebellion. The afternoon before he left, he came to the physician's quarters. The old man wisely stepped out of the room. There, alone and seeking the warmth of his lover behind the wooden door, Arthur begged him to come out. When the bell tolled for him to leave, he stood up and whispered through the crack in the door.

"When I come back," Arthur's voice betrayed his emotion. "When I do, please let me explain. Please?" No reply came and he continued. "I love you, Merlin. Even if you doubt that I do, I really love you."

With that, he was gone.

"You should've at least seen him off." Gaius said reproachfully a few days later. The two are in the woods gathering herbs.

Merlin gave him a look. "It's my life. He might be one side of the fudge'n coin, but I'm the other. So I do have a say in what I do and what I don't." He emphasized it by ripping a bellatroft too hard that its pus squirted over his hands. "Urgh!"

Gaius smiled, amused. "Oh yes. You have the say alright."

Walking back to Camelot, they saw a crowd gather at the gates. Looking at each other for a moment, they both sped up the path towards the source of the commotion.

"Out of the way! Out of the way! Court Physician!" Gaius cried out. Panic hit Merlin hard when he saw that the person lying down on the ground was none other than Sir Harment, one of Arthur's men. He had many injuries to his body and some of them were left open. Upon examination, Gauis looked grave and something in his eyes told Merlin that he wouldn't live to see tomorrow. Arthur would've never send an injured back all the way from the border. He would've never endanger someone's life like that. But if Harment had been the least injured, what does that say about Arthur and the rest?

"Merlin...." Harment called out. Cold hands desperately searching.

"Where's Arthur, Harment? Where is he??" Tears were falling like rain now. "Where is he?"

"This." He placed a parchment in Merlin's trembling hand. "Take it... Please... My mission was to give this to you." Gripping Merlin's hand, he drew him close and whispered. "He says...(cough) to tell you that he'll wait for you on the other side. Whether you want him to or not." Smiling, his grip slackened and his eyes slowly closed. Sir Harment was no more.

Merlin got up and ran. The only destination in mind was Arthur's room. Fuck the protocols, fuck the stupid rules. He needed a place that was Arthur. He wanted Arthur. Collapsing on the bed he unclenched his grip on the parchment. Tearing the seal open, he read. After that, he couldn't stop the broken sobs and heart wrenching cries.

Morgana found him there later asleep. Smiling sadly, she knew that soon he would awake from his slumber and be forced to face the bitter nightmare of reality. Kissing him softly on the forehead she whispered, "Good night, Merlin. May your dreams spare you of the horrors to come."

Merlin,

The reason I don't want you as my manservant is because I want you as my husband. I want you to never ever have to work another day in your life. I want to treat you well and lavish you with those things you call unnecessary luxuries. I want to show you the life you so richly deserve. I didn't want to keep you because I needed you, Merlin. Desperately needed you. You can't imagine the pain of having to go through a second without you by me. In many ways, you have assimilated yourself into every crevice of everything that makes me who I am. You are as much a part of me as the air I breathe. Funny isn't it? How it all turned out to this. I have written this letter when I sat outside your door. I planned to tell you these things myself, but then again, there are many things we can never foresee. If you are reading this now, it will be because I have perished. I have never regretted us. Not for one minute, nor for one second. I just hope you never did as well.

I love you Merlin. With all my heart, my soul and my every being. I'm yours.

Arthur

END

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If you liked this, please, please, please, please review so that I know that people actually care about this fic to want a sequel. (Audible gasp) Arthur might not be so dead as you think. –Wink wink-