The sun was shining and, for once, the miserable Bullworth campus was bathed in that certain golden afternoon light that was the stuff of dreams.

At least, Gary's dreams. The dreams that were somehow delirious, too colourful, too vivid to be real. The kind he only got when he didn't take his medication.

It made him feel dizzy.

Jimmy stopped him abruptly when they reached the arch that served as the entrance to the Boys' Dorm, grabbing him by the shoulders gently.

"Look, Gary, I know you like Pete..."

"How do you know that?!"

"Let me finish."

"Hmph."

"As I was saying... I know you like Pete, but... I... Like you too....?"

In the end, Jimmy's voice came out as a question. He'd shoved his hands in the pockets of his oversized Bullworth hoodie, and he was perplexed by his feet. He stared at his boots as if daring them to contradict him.

It was almost the same thing Petey did when he was embarrassed.

No, don't think about Pete!

"Uh... Jimmy..."

Gary was suddenly protective, even... Piteous?

This boy, who he'd always written off as just another hetero, had gone out of his way to... Tell him he liked him?

Just a normal boy.

Not tortured like Petey was. Not shallow like Trent. Not closeted like Kirby.

And maybe Gary could learn to love him? The freckled cheeks and the red nose, the cute squinty eyes and fuzzy buzz-cut. Maybe... Instead of constantly pursuing a lost cause like Petey, he could settle with Jimmy?

Maybe, in time, he could learn not to see Petey's shy rabbit look behind his eyelids every time he closed his eyes? Maybe, in time, he'd see Jimmy?

And maybe, if Gary just couldn't be with Petey, like in the fairytale ending he'd always envisiged... He could make Jimmy happy?

He remembered the messaged scrawled by his mother on the back of a phone bill before she'd died...

You're never going to be happy. You're never going to be a perfect soul. You're just a tool, like me, only missed when you're gone.

Live in full knowledge of these facts. If you can't, just try to cause as little misery as possible before you eventually wear away.

He'd made the mistake of trying to be happy.

So he'd cause as little misery as possible.

"I... Like you too, Jimmy."

And suddenly, shocking, remorsefully, he realized there'd been a figure on the steps behind them.

No, no, no, no, no!!

He turned to look.

Petey's face was twisted with pain and dread. The beautiful hazel eyes that Gary had loved so much filled with exquisite tears, and his lip rolled out, quivering.

The air in Gary's lungs rushed out in a kind of gasp.

Oh god...

What have I done?