I survived the Seireitei game show!

by espeon16

Yes, this is a spoof of 'I survived a Japanese Game Show'. No, I didn't exactly watch the show but a friend of mine (who shall be referred to as Soifon-chan) pestered me with this idea, so here I am, giving it a shot! In this fic, I pretend that the whole Aizen-is-a-traitor thing never happened. So the espadas are not featured, and Gin, Aizen, and Tousen may make appearances.

Characters are Kubo Tite's. Not mine. If I owned Bleach, the drawings would be very crappy.

Read and review!

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Chapter One

How To Kill Some Time

Another peaceful day in Karakura Town. Renji, Matsumoto, Hitsugaya, Ikkaku, and Yumichika were lounging around at Ichigo's house, enjoying a short break from shinigami duties, having stockpiled enough vacation days to last a month. (Or in Hitsugaya's case, several centuries' worth of vacation days, seeing as he never took breaks.)

"I still can't believe you dragged me all the way here, just to sit on the floor and slowly burn up, Matsumoto."

"But taichou…"

Matsumoto's whine was cut off by Renji.

"Hey Ichigo, what's that?"

Ichigo blinked and stared at the screen.

"Oh, that's I Survived A Japanese Game Show."

"Please, elaborate."

"Basically, there are two groups of people competing against each other in challenges. For each challenge, the winning team gets a reward, and the losing team gets a punishment. The challenges are really whacky and strange, too. The losing team then has to choose two people from their team to enter the elimination round."

"And then…?"

"The two people then play a game against each other, and whoever gets more points on the game gets to stay on, and the one with less points leaves the show."

"But why would they want to stay on? I mean, look at that."

Yumichika pointed at the screen, where two people were running around, shooting each other with paint.

"That's not beautiful at all."

Ichigo sighed.

"They stay on in hope of winning the grand prize."

"Which is?"

Ichigo paused for dramatic effect before replying.

"About…a quarter of a million US dollars."

At this announcement, Ikkaku accidentally swallowed his fries all at once and started coughing and hacking violently. Renji, out of shock, inhaled his juice up his nose, and started jumping around, screaming that his nose hurt. Hitsugaya sighed and shook his head at their reactions, but he didn't blame them. After all, even if they used the yen, US dollars were known to them. And a quarter of a million was a huge number.

Suddenly, Matsumoto's eyes lit up with a mischievous sparkle.

"Why don't we try that in Seireitei? After all, we do have a lot of free time."

"That's because you don't do the paperwork," Hitsugaya grumbled.

Matsumoto ignored this.

"What do you say?"

Ikkaku, recovered from his coughing fit, banged his fist on the table.

"I think it's a SPLENDID idea!"

"Yeah!"

Hitsugaya sighed.

"And what about the prize?"

There was a pause.

Then,

"Oh! What about an all-expenses-pain trip around the world for the winner, and one friend of choice?"

Everyone stared at Matsumoto.

She stared back.

"What? It's a great idea! It's about a year or so of pure vacation!"

Renji and Ikkaku stared at her, openmouthed. Yumichika shot Matsumoto a bemused look. (Because staring with your mouth open is just way too ugly.)

It was Hitsugaya who broke the silence.

"That sounds plausible. I can ask Yamamoto-soutaichou, if you want."

"Great!"

Ichigo sighed.

"Then I'll go find Ishida and the others, and get them to help me out in the challenges."

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Yamamoto Shigekuni Genryuusai cleared his throat.

"You are suggesting that we hold a…what do you call that?"

"A game show, sir."

"Yes, that, in Seireitei?"

Hitsugaya bowed his head respectfully. He'd already explained the whole concept to the soutaichou, he knew that this questioning was just to stall for time while the soutaichou made up his mind.

"All right. I can get you the air tickets for the trip, no problem."

Hitsugaya nodded, although inside of him he felt like hollering and jumping for joy. That kind of behaviour was improper, after all.

"All right, you may leave."

Hitsugaya left the first division headquarters, and flash-stepped back to his office, to break the news to the four shinigamis eagerly awaiting the answer there.

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"Let me get this straight. We are to organize a game show for the shinigamis."

"That's right. The non-participants will watch the show live, which greatly saves us the trouble of taping and editing it, and also prevents spoilers from escaping."

Ishida hesitated. It did sound quite fun, but he did promise never to help a shinigami again…

"Come on, Ishida-kun, it will be fun!"

Ishida sighed. He knew he could never resist that puppy-dog look.

"All right."

"Okay guys, here's the plan. Ishida, you come up with the rules and stuff. Inoue and Chad, start planning the challenges. I'll be the host."

"Okay."

"Let's get started!

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And thus, the Seireitei Game Show was born.

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There! How did ya like it?

Next chapter: Ichigo explains the rules of the game, and applicants surge forward. Who will be accepted, and who denied?