Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist or any of its characters. All I own is the poor OC in this story who will probably be barbequed later by Roy.

A Not So Perfect Date

"Out," Riza ordered, pointing towards the door. "You shouldn't be here." Black Hayate quickly scampered under the table but Roy stood his ground.

"Why not?" he asked, putting on his best puppy dog look.

"You know exactly why. My date will be arriving in a couple minutes."

"More of a reason for me to be here," he answered while he made himself comfortable on her couch. "I promised your father I'll look after you which includes making sure your dates don't have ulterior motives."

"Whatever," said Riza, turning away from him and headed towards the bathroom. "Not everybody is like you, you know," she added over her shoulder. He quickly got up and followed after her.

"So how did you meet this guy anyway?" he asked, leaning against the door.

"He's an acquaintance of Rebecca's," she answered as she pulled out her lipstick. "I met him at her birthday party a few weeks ago."

"Damn. I knew I should've gone to that," she heard him mutter under his breath.

"You weren't invited in the first place if I remember correctly," she replied while putting on her lipstick.

"Why did you agree to go out with this guy?"

She paused for a moment. "Rebecca apparently gave him my number and he's been asking me out on a date for weeks. I guess you could say I eventually ran out of excuses to not go out. "

"Hmph. And what does he do for a living?"

"He's a mechanic." Seeing the scowl on Roy's face she added, "He works at the auto plant on the other side of the river."

"So in other words he's a civilian."

"Yes, he is," she answered, turning around to face him. "Does that bother you?"

"Maybe."

Riza grinned. "Why?"

"I just don't think you should be going out on dates with men you aren't remotely interested in."

"And how is that different from what you do?"

"I only do it because I have a reputation to maintain. Besides, all of my girls know what I'm interested in them for so I'm not leading any of them on."

"And you don't think a few of them might have genuine crushes on you?"

Roy shrugged. "I wouldn't be surprised if two or three of them might seeing how incredibly sexy I am." Riza snorted at the remark. "But why are we talking about my dates when we're supposed to be talking about yours?"

Riza smirked while she brushed her hair. "If I didn't know better I'd think you're jealous."

Roy took two steps closer to her. "And what if I am?"

"In that case…" She wrapped her arms around his waist. Roy grinned and leaned slightly forward but she turned her head. "I better take these then just in case." She pulled out his spark gloves from his coat pocket.

"Hey! I need those!"

"You're not barbequing anyone tonight."

"What if he gropes you?"

"That's what my guns are for."

"You know, you'll scare away any male prospects if you keep waving them around."

"I doubt it. You're still here after all."

"I don't count."

"Why not? You're male aren't you?"

A knock on the door interrupted them.

"Shoot," Riza cursed. She rushed out of the bathroom, slamming the door in Roy's face before making her way to the front door. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door. Her date stood on the other side.

"Hello James,"

"Hey Riza. Ready for our date?" Riza nodded.

"Umm…could you just wait a moment? I need to get my coat and purse." She shut the door before he could reply and turned around. Roy was casually walking out of the bathroom towards her. He opened his mouth to say something but Riza quickly clamped her hand over his mouth.

"I'm going to go now and I expect you to leave my apartment right after. We'll continue this conversation later." Roy looked at her somewhat confused as she removed her hand from his mouth but she ignored it. Picking up her items, she dropped his gloves in her purse before slipping out the front door.

Riza sighed in boredom while she listened to James ramble on about some current event topic that she had long since forgotten. The date had started off well enough. He had taken her to a nice restaurant in an upscale part of town followed by a moonlit stroll through the park. She was been fairly impressed. Based on her first impression of him she had expected him to take her to some club. However, their conversations all evening had been (at least to her) rather awkward and she couldn't wait for the date to end.

Ugh. Why did I agree to this date?

Looking around, she noticed a few other people in the park including a man playing fetch with his dog off in the distance. Another couple was making out on a bench nearby, completely oblivious to their surroundings. Riza sighed again. Somehow, she couldn't help but think how much more enjoyable the date would be if a particular raven-haired man was with her instead.

I wonder what he's doing right now?

She quickly shook her head. What was she doing? Now was not the time to think about her commanding officer.

"Are you all right, Riza?"

"Huh?" She blinked and turned her head. James was looking at her, somewhat concerned,

"You were shaking your head."

"Oh, sorry. I was thinking about something work related."

James chuckled. "Life in the military must be quite busy if you have to constantly think about work even when you're not on duty."

"It can be tough at times but you get used to it."

"Your supervisor must be a real slave driver to be making you stay late at the office practically every night."

Riza smiled. "Actually he probably calls me that. He's not very fond of paperwork."

James smiled and stopped. "Did anyone ever tell you that you look really cute when you smile?"

Riza blushed slightly. She was not expecting that kind of compliment.

"I think I'm a little too old to be called cute."

James laughed. "I'm sure you're not that old, Riza," he replied, leaning forward a little to brush a stray leaf that had fallen on her coat. He was about to say something else but a loud barking suddenly interrupted them and a second later something black and white hit James squarely in the back and knocked him on the ground.

"Woof!"

"Hayate!" Riza cried out. The dog looked up at her and wagged his tail, looking for approval. "Bad dog!" she scolded. Hayate whined and slinked off James just as a third person ran up to them.

"I'm so sorry about that," apologized Roy, flashing a quick grin at Riza. "We were playing fetch when he just suddenly took off."

"That's alright," James replied, getting up from the ground and brushing the dirt off his pants. "No harm done." He looked up at Roy. "Hey! Aren't you…"

"I'm Roy Mustang." He held out his hand.

James eyes widen in surprise. "The Flame Alchemist?" He quickly took Roy's hand and shook it. "James O'Brien. Wow. This is so cool. I can't believe I'm shaking hands with the famous Colonel Roy Mustang."

"I'm sure," replied Roy. Riza could tell he was not impressed. She coughed and they both looked over towards her.

'Oh! And this is -" began James.

"Riza Hawkeye," Roy finished for him.

James looked at him, surprised. "You two know each other?"

"Of course," replied Roy, grinning. "We've known each other since we were kids. Plus we're both in the military so we bump into each other all the time around Central."

"Sometimes more often than necessary," Riza muttered under her breath. Both men didn't seem to notice her comment.

"So how do those flame attacks work?" asked James. "I know it's alchemy but I've never seen any other alchemist come close to doing something like that."

Roy grinned. "The gloves I normally wear are made of a special cloth that creates sparks when I snap. The alchemy itself is a well-guarded secret that very few people know and is very difficult to reproduce from looking." As he was explaining, he pulled out a lighter and Riza immediately recognized the array etched into its metal side.

He wouldn't… she thought to herself.

"Care to see a demonstration?" Roy asked. James gave a huge grin and nodded enthusiastically.

Crap.

"Could you excuse us for a moment?" she interrupted, giving Roy a rough push. "I want a word with Colonel Mustang."

"Huh? Oh sure," answered James somewhat confused as she quickly led Roy off to a distance with Hayate faithfully following behind them. When she was certain they wouldn't be overheard she stopped and turned to face her commanding officer.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm walking Hayate," he answered with the most innocent look. "The little guy was whining after you left so I figured I'll let him out for some exercise."

"Liar. You're spying on me."

Roy grinned. "How in the world would I know that he would take you here after dinner?" She glared at him.

"I'm sure you have your sources." Roy said nothing. Riza quickly looked back over at James who was looking in their general direction before turning her attention back at Roy. "Whatever you're planning stop it right now. "

"I was only going to show him a bit of my alchemy."

"Don't you dare."

"Why not?"

"Because I know you too well. You'll 'accidently' set something he's wearing on fire."

"Accidents do happen, you know."

Riza sighed in frustration. "I don't want to deal with this tonight. Just finish walking Hayate and take him back to my apartment."

"Yes, ma'am," Roy smirked before bending down to reattach the leash to Hayate's collar. Riza watched suspiciously as the pair walked down the path away from her. When they were far enough away, she turned around and made her way back towards James. "I'm sorry about that," she said as she approached him.

"That's ok," he replied. "So…uhh…why did the Colonel and his dog leave?"

"Oh, something just came up so he had to go," she told him, waving her hand in the direction they had left.

"Oh." He looked a little disappointed.

"So shall we continue?" she asked pointing to the path ahead.

James looked back at her. "Huh? Oh, sure." He tried to offer her his arm but she walked on ahead, forcing him to catch up to her. As they continued their walk through the park Riza made a mental note to never tell Roy when she was going out on a date ever again.

"Thanks for walking me home," said Riza as they walked up the stairs towards her apartment. "You didn't really have to."

"It was nothing. Besides, it's not safe for a woman to walk home alone at night."

They stopped in front of her apartment and she pulled out her keys. However, before she could stick it into the lock James took her hand in his and began to gently stroke it.

"I had a really great time tonight, Riza," he said, leaning a little closer to her. "I'd really like to get to know you better."

"Actually, …" she said, pulling her hand away and taking a step back. "I don't-"

The door suddenly opened and a raven-haired man stepped out of her apartment.

"Date over so soon? I didn't expect to see you home for at least another two hours," Roy asked, his voice strangely calm; yet Riza noticed his eyes were burning like fire.

"I've had a long day which I'm sure you're aware of," she replied curtly. She was tired and she not in the mood for his questioning.

James was staring at the two of them in surprise. "You two live together?" he asked, pointing a finger back and forth between them.

Roy smirked. "No. But I do visit here frequently if you know what I mean." Riza blushed at the comment.

"That's it. Inside. Now!" she said, shoving him back into her apartment and quickly slamming the door in his face. "I'll deal with you later!" The last thing she wanted tonight was a scene outside her apartment. Turning back towards James, she gave a weak smile. "Sorry. He can be a bit of a pain sometimes." James was still staring at the door.

"Are you two together?" he asked, still pointing at where Roy stood seconds before.

"It's complicated," Riza replied hastily. "My father passed away when I was young so he's…umm…kinda taken a sort of older brother role. He can get a little overprotective sometimes." She looked at him to see his reaction.

I hope that didn't sound too farfetched,

James nodded slowly. "I supposed I can understand. After all, I have two younger sisters myself." Riza let out a small sigh of relief. "So anyway," he continued. "Do you think you're free next week?"

"Tell you the truth, I don't think it'll work out between us."

James looked surprised. "Why not?" he asked.

"Because she's not that into you! " shouted a voice from the other side of the door. Riza frowned. Roy's jealously was starting to annoy her.

"You're a nice guy, James but I don't feel the spark between us. I think if it's better if we just be friends."

"But I thought-"

"I'm sorry. Goodnight, James." Riza quickly opened the door again and went inside her apartment. She sighed as she shut the door and dropped her purse and keys on the table stand next to her. Closing her eyes, she listened to James's footsteps as he relutantly made his way down the hall. She felt a little sorry for him. He had obviously tried to make the evening special but like Roy had mentioned earlier, she was definitely not and would never be interested in him.

Speaking of the Colonel…

She opened her eyes and glared at Roy and Black Hayate who were in the midst of a tug-o-war game with a rawhide bone. "Why couldn't you just wait inside the apartment instead of barging outside?" she demanded.

"He was trying to make a move on you," Roy retorted, letting go of the bone and causing Hayate to fall over backwards. Turning towards her, he added, "Besides, I don't like him."

"I doubt you'll like anyone who takes more than just a passing interest in me," she snapped as she slipped off her coat before heading into the bathroom. "And I can't believe you would follow me around."

"Like I said before, I had to make sure he wasn't going to take advantage of you," Roy commented while watching Hayate gnaw on his prize. "Somebody has to protect your honor."

"Says the man who's useless in the rain," she retorted as she began removing her earrings. "Honestly, you can be so childish sometimes."

Roy simply grinned and got up from the couch. "Did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight?" he asked as he walked towards her.

Riza paused and looked at his reflection in the mirror in front of her. "No, you didn't," she replied before continuing to remove her jewelry. She heard him walk up behind her.

"Well you look absolutely gorgeous tonight," he whispered into her ear. She smiled at his reflection.

"Compliments won't make up for what you did tonight."

"Then how about this? In return for ruining your date I'll hook you up with someone else." She felt his arms wrap around his waist. "Someone much more your type," he murmured into her ear.

She turned her head to look at him. "Oh? And what exactly is my type?"

"Someone smart, tall, dark, and handsome with a good personality," he answered huskily as he left a trail of kisses down her neck.

Riza smiled and turned around to face him. "Maes is already taken, Roy," she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Roy chuckled. "I was thinking of someone even better than him. Someone I know both your father and grandfather would approve," he answered before bending down to kiss her. Riza could feel a shiver go down her spine as he deepened the kiss. A soft moan escaped her lips when she felt him pull her tighter into his embrace. She weaved her hands into his dark hair, encouraging him to continue.

When they finally parted he added, "How about I finish off where your date left off?"

Riza grinned. "I'll like that." Then, without another word, he picked her up, bridal style and took her to the bedroom.

A/N: I hope everybody got a few laughs from this story. :)