I always feel bad having sex with Zexion.

You know?

Mainly because I always go home to my wife after I help him change his sheets. I remember how bad I used to hate him, I never realized the feelings weren't retaliated. He was the quiet neighbor, the one you assumed killed people in his spare time and hid them under a tarp. I remember going over to his house one weekend, I wasn't even wearing a god damned shirt. I know I was just going to knock him one and get out of there, but when he opened the door and looked at me, pursing his lips, all he said was 'Come on in.'

And I ate breakfast with him, and we became friends. He showed me new music; I showed him new clothes. He showed me friendship and affection; I showed him how to smile.

His smile is beautiful.

I remember that one night, Namine wasn't home that night, and I wandered over to his house and we downed some beer and vodka and who knows what else, and the next thing I knew, we were grasping for each other's clothing angrily and we were fighting for dominance over a kiss that should have never happened.

Seeing as we were both men.

I remember the way we both bit, licked, and nipped hungrily at each others flesh, as if we'd been wanting this for a while now.

And to tell the truth, I have wanted this for a while now.

To dominate and to be dominated.

I remember the amount of glorious pleasure that man gave me.

I also remember how mad I got at him when he started dating again. Some pretty-boy, too. Riku. Rika. Something like that. Thinks he's all that, flipping his hair around.

But at least this pretty-boy can stay with Zexion after a particularly nice night of ass-pounding, can hold the guy if he cries, he knows if he snores.

I don't know if Zexion cries.

I don't know if Zexion snores.

I don't even know what Zexion likes in his coffee.

Pretty-boys don't last, I want you to remember that. He smiled and stayed like the pest he was for a year, until he left to pursue other feats. So Zexion and I resumed.

Axel told me Zexion had fallen in love with me, that Zexion had broke the relationship he was in instead of the way I was told.

I think love is stupid, it gets you into stuff like I'm in now. This marriage with a woman I thought I 'loved'.

But then, every time I had sex with the man next door, he looked at me as I walked out and gave a flirtatious little wave.

He looked at me with a begging in his eyes.

Like, 'I want you to be the one here. Please.'

And then he finally vocalized it for me, as I slipped into my clothes that one day.

"Please Demyx, stay with me?"

I could read it in his eyes, looking down at him.

'be with me, hold me, let me comfort you, be my lover, be my friend, marry me, kiss me, touch me, fuck me.'

And I told him no, you know that?

I looked at him and said 'no'

You know how stupid that was?

He would have taken me back, too, but I wouldn't listen.

I just stayed at home with my 'wife' and four kids, until I realized she was sleeping around and she wrote up the divorce papers.

Take it from me.

When you have something good, don't let it go.