Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, If I did I would make Jacob go die in a hole. Lol. I also don't own the song, "Jizz in my pants" by The lonely Island.
Emmett's POV
"Jasper. You got that fucking song in my head!" I yelled. Stupid idiot had to show me that song….. Now its all I can think about!! Ahhh.
"Then why don't you try singing it out loud then maybe it will get out of your head." Jazz laughed. Why did he laugh? It sounded like a cool thing to do.
"Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Bells, Rosie! Come here!!" I yelled. They were all here in the time it took me too blink. "what do you want Emmett?" Esme asked.
"Im going to put a show on for all of you! doesn't that sound like fun!?"
"sure" Edward murmured. I ignored him and gestured to them to sit on the chairs I had moved into a circle. I ran up stairs and got changed into my leather outfit.
I ran down again and started the music before going in front of them.
"Lock eyes from across the room
Down my drink while the rhythms boom
Take your hands, skip the names
No need here for the silly games
Make our way through the smoke and crowd
The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud
Move in close as the lasers fly
Our bodies touch and the angels cry" Man this was fun!
"Leave this place go back to yours
Our lips first touch outside your doors
The whole night what we've got in store
Whisper in my ear that you want some more
And I jizz in my pants
This really never happens you can take my word
I won't apologize
That's just absurd
Mainly your fault for the way that you dance
And now I jizz in my pants
Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut
Plus it's your fault
You were rubbing my butt" I slapped my butt, just for effect.
"I'm very sensitive - Rosalie stop staring!…
Some would say thats a plus
Now I'll go home and change
I need a few things from the grocery
Do things alone now mostly
Left me heartbroken, not lookin' for love
Surprise in my eyes when I looked above
The checkout counter and I saw her face
My heart stood still so did time and space
Never thought that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
She turned to me that's when she said it
Looked me dead in the face, asked cash or credit
And I jizzed in my pants
It's perfectly normal
Nothing wrong with me
But we're going to need a cleanup
On aisle 3 - Jasper stop laughing, you moron!
And now I'm posed in an awkward stance
Because I jizzed in my pants
To be fair
You were flirting a lot
Plus the way you bag cans makes me
Bothered and hot
Please stop acting like you're not impressed
One more thing
I'm gonna pay by check
Last week, I saw a film
As I recall it was a horror film
Walked outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang
And I jizzed in my pants
Speeding in the street, when the red lights flash
Need to get away, need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you
And I jizz in my pants
The next day
My alarm goes off
And I jizz in my pants
Open the window and a breeze rolls in
And I jizz in my pants
When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense
I jizzed in my pants
I just ate a grape
And I jizzed in my pants
I went to. . .
Ok seriously you guys, can we. . . . ok?
I jizz right in my pants
Every time you're next to me
And when we're holdin hands
Its like havin sex with me
You say I'm premature
I just call it ectasy
I wear a rubber at all times - normally blood flavoured" I winked at Rosalie
"Its a necessity
Cuz I jizz in my pants
Yes I jizz in my pants" I finished. I was dancing up and down the whole time.
Everyone besides Carlisle, Rosalie and Esme where laughing. Carlisle was the first to speak, "Errm Emmett, you do know what jizz means don't you?" he spoke like I was a 5yr old, enunciating every word. "Duh! Im not an idiot! It means he pissed his pants!" Stupid question that was.
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A/N: Hey! I know that was really random, but I had that song in my head…and I had Emmett in my head, so I thought id make them a combo! Lol please Review, even if you didn't like it. =) xx