Author's note:
I have a rather strong visual of Gibbs at a funeral service which just won't leave me alone. As opposed to fighting it and hoping it will go away, I've decided to write a story around it. Also, I need to make an important decision for Proclivities, and don't want to feel stressed about it. So instead of posting nothing for a few days till I make up my mind, I'll write and post this.
For this story, rather than creating an original character I'm going back to season one. More specifically to episode nineteen – which featured Special Agent Chris Pacci who met an untimely end in an elevator (and Tony getting it on with a woman who was really a man). We never learnt much about Pacci, so I feel justified in creating a backstory for him. It will emerge during the story. I'm not anticipating a long story at all. Three parts. Maybe four, at most. Certainly not plot-driven like my other stories. But it is still very much an AU, and I've taken liberties with the placement of one particular event. In the episode the funeral takes place before they solve the case. In the story it takes place afterwards.
Since this is set in Season one, the whole thing with Ari hasn't totally kicked in, Kate is still alive, there is no Ziva, and the events of Hiatus haven't happened. Consequently Gibbs is not as heavy as he is in later seasons. That is partly why I chose to set it here, too.
And now that the author's note is longer than the chapter I think I should give the screen over to the characters. I hope you enjoy the story.
Gibbs put the earpiece on as he leaned towards the screen.
"Hey Abs, you there?"
"Yeah, Gibbs. I finally got the link working."
"Our lady's back" he said, knowing that the camera he had trained on Amanda Reed's apartment was relaying feed back to the navy yard.
"Yeah, I saw her."
"You get a chance to check Pacci's computer yet?"
"Yeah. I just finished pulling the last two weeks off it. There wasn't a lot there. Like a lot of older agents he wasn't very computer savvy."
"Send me the files."
"Well, you know how to download them?" Abby teased gently.
"Don't go there, Abs" came the tart response as he moved back towards the camera.
"Touchy .."
"Pacci's dead, Abs" he snapped. "Might not have ended that way if I'd given him the time of day."
"Can we do a sound check on the laser mike?" she said, knowing that it was better to change the subject than pursue the issue. Knowing that nothing she could say would assuage the guilt eating at him.
"Sure" Gibbs said as he looked through the camera's viewfinder again. "Where'd she go?" he asked, turning round as keys jangled and Kate entered the apartment.
"Starbucks and then the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Hey Abs."
"Hey. Sending the files over now, Gibbs."
"What are they?" Kate asked as the files popped up on the screen.
"Everything I found on Pacci's hard drive" Abby explained.
Gibbs walked towards the computer. His hand hovered over the mouse for a second - and then he turned to Kate.
"Open 'em" he said.
Kate exchanged a knowing smile with Abby and settled in front of the screen.
"I don't think these are work-related" she said after a while when a few jpegs opened up. "Do you want to look at them anyway?"
"Everything" Gibbs said as he watched Amanda down tablets across the street.
"This is odd" Kate said.
"What?"
"Chris had a family."
"How is that odd?" Gibbs asked, feeling bile rise ominously into his throat.
"Was he married?"
"Not that I know of" Gibbs replied as he stood from his chair and walked over. "But Pacci wasn't much of a talker."
Kate looked discomfited.
"When Tony and I went into his apartment it was ... empty. Impersonal. I asked Tony how well he knew him and he said softball, beers after work. Things like that. Why wouldn't Pacci have mention having a family?"
Gibbs looked over her shoulder at a photo of a redheaded woman and two young children.
"Maybe they aren't his."
"They're definitely his" she said as she brought up another photo of Pacci and two children with a Happy Father's Day background. "And there are quite a few more."
"Maybe he was divorced" Abby suggested.
"Even if he was divorced, why weren't there any photos on his desk? Why would he keep his family a secret."
"Maybe it wasn't a secret, Kate. Maybe he just wanted to keep his private life private" Gibbs said as he walked towards the front door; more disturbed than he was ready to admit by the sight of family photos. It had been bad enough when he'd thought he'd let one person down. The fact that another three people were potentially involved only added to the weight on his soul. "I'm going for coffee" he said as he headed out the door. "Keep watching."
Kate looked across the screen at the goth.
"His apartment was completely empty, Abby. Not one photo. Even if he was divorced, wouldn't he at least have a photos of his kids in the bedroom?"
Abby shrugged, but her thoughts were elsewhere.
"He's not taking this very well, is he?"
Kate shook her head.
"It's not his fault."
"Yeah. But try telling that to Gibbs."
Ducky looked up just as he'd tossed his scrubs into the trash can.
"Jethro .. I didn't expect you back this late. I was just about to call you."
"Did you find something off in that autopsy report?"
"No, I didn't. It was detailed and complete. As I expected, the M.E.'s transcript was impeccable."
"Have Abby re-run the DNA. We're picking up where Chris left off."
"Right" Ducky said as he made the final adjustments to his bow tie and slipped into his jacket. "I would expect no less."
Gibbs nodded as he continued to leaf through the file.
"I heard the Director asked you to speak at Pacci's memorial service" Ducky began tentatively.
"Yeah, I declined. Can't do it, Duck. I wouldn't feel right"
"Jethro ..."
"Chris asked me for help on this, Ducky. I was chasing Curtin and didn't have time."
"Jethro ... " Ducky tried again, but Gibbs wasn't having it.
"He said it could wait. He said 'what's one more day?'"
"Jethro, this is not your fault."
"It feels like it is, Ducky. He had two children ..."
"Who we never knew about" Ducky interjected.
"They're out there without a father right now, Duck" Gibbs said, emotion bubbling inside him. "Two children with no answers. I let them down just as surely as I did their father."
"He wasn't a close personal friend, Jethro. It isn't surprising that we didn't know much about his life outside NCIS. Or that he had a family."
For a moment something flashed across Gibbs' face which made Ducky look at him a little more closely. But nothing else was forthcoming, and he thought he might have read too much into the pain that flashed across the younger man's face.
"Still can't do it, Duck" was all Gibbs said before he turned away.
A few evenings later the atmosphere in the bullpen was oppressive. They'd solved the case, the person responsible for killing Pacci was dead. But none of that was going to bring him back, and the knowledge sat heavy with Gibbs as he went through the contents of the agent's desk; boxing them in preparation for the service the following day. Kate watched in silence, trying to understand what he was doing.
"Why are you going through everything before you box it?"
"Force of habit" Gibbs replied, as he pulled another piece of paper from a spiral bound botebook and crumpled it. "I don't want his family getting an unpleasant surprise."
"Are you really not going to talk at the service tomorrow?" she asked after a while.
He didn't answer as he got to his feet and hefted the box off the desk. Something which didn't surprise her, but which did prompt her next quiet question. "Do you want me to give the box to the family tomorrow?"
"No."
And the message was clear – he owed Chris at least that much.