"Mommy…"

Kyoya groaned loudly and turned over. In retrospect, agreeing to share an apartment with Tamaki while they were in college was an unbelievably imbecilic thing to do. He'd soundproofed his office, his library, his bedroom, and anywhere that he expected to want quiet. This all was nullified however, if he forgot to lock his doors.

"Mommy!" Tamaki said, his voice more demanding and less whining. A treambling long-fingered hand tentatively poked his shoulder. "…Mommy?"

Kyoya sighed bitterly. "Time?"

"Nine-ten?"

"Day?"

"…"

"Day, Tamaki."

"Saturday," the blonde muttered.

"Tamaki," Kyoya growled warningly.

"I know! I'm not supposed to bother you on the weekends, but you promised."

"I believe there was a bit of a miscommunication. I promised nothing that entailed you getting me up early on a day we have no classes, you blonde idiot."

"No! You promised if I didn't bother you while you were sleeping, then we could visit our beautiful children today!" Tamaki whined, leaning over his dark-haired friend. The feeling of his breath on Kyoya's ear made the Ootori heir shiver. "Mori-Senpai and Huni-Senpai are coming over too!"

"Get off of me."

"But-"

"Get. Off. Of. Me." The Shadow Lord snarled. Tamaki leaped out of Kyoya's bed with a start. "You better be ready to leave by ten o' clock sharp, or I swear…"

He let the sentence hang, and Tamaki sweat-dropped. Then his expression brightened and he threw his arms around Kyoya with a large grin.

"Mommy is so wonderful!"

"Get out Tamaki!" Kyoya barked, venom dripping from every syllable. Tamaki grinned and skipped through the door to get changed, and Kyoya sighed and groped blindly for his glasses. "Idiot…"

Kyoya stepped out of the bathroom toweling his hair, his glasses tucked through the waistband of his boxers for lack of a better place to put them. Tamaki sat on one of the couches, grinning broadly at his friend. Kyoya squinted at him, putting the towel around his neck and putting on his glasses. The world smoothed into focus.

Tamaki, in his mad-dash to get ready, had failed at looking anything akin to presentable. His hair was tousled, which wasn't too bad considering how most women would like to imagine he spent his nights. His clothes were off however, his buttons matched in the wrong holes, the belt in his jeans tied awkwardly. His tie was lopsided, the thin side longer than the thick one. Kyoya wondered how the boy expected to survive the rest of his life without a nanny.

"How do you expect to survive the rest of life if you can't dress yourself?" he demanded of his idiotic friend. Tamaki blinked at him.

"Wha…?"

"Your clothes, you imbecile," Kyoya grumbled. Tamaki looked down.

"But you said get ready…"

"Tamaki, I'm not going anywhere with you if you plan to dress like that," he said with a sigh, walking into his room. He shoved aside hangers, pulling out a pair of black jeans. He pulled them on and looked through for a shirt. A muffled cry was heard from the living room.

"Mommy…"

Kyoya pinched the bridge of his nose. It was a sad day when an almost-twenty-year-old couldn't dress himself. He shrugged on a black button-down, not bothering to button it, and walked out to the livingroom. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose again at the sight of Tamaki struggling in his clothes. He had attempted to pull off his shirt with the tie still on, and was currently tangled in the white garment. Kyoya set his jaw with a certain amount of annoyance, and couldn't help but think of how much money he could make selling videos of what he was about to do.

"Hold still, moron," he said tiredly, undoing the tie. Tamaki remained motionless, going limp. This did not help Kyoya at all. "That's not what I meant, you idiot! Agh, stop moving!"

Mori and Huni stood in front of the black apartment door, listening to rustling noises and yelps.

"I can't take off your shirt if you keep moving, Tamaki."

"But Mommy, you're pulling my hair-"

"I frankly don't care at this point, Tamaki. Stay still, or I am going to leave you like this."

"No! You can't do that! You have to help me finish!"

"We have to leave soon…"

"Just finish, and then we can go."

An unmistakable Ootori groan sounded on the other side. "You are the most difficult person I have ever met in my life."

Huni looked up at Mori with wide eyes, and the taller young man looked down at his cousin wordlessly. He leaned down as if by some unspoken signal, and Huni stood on his toes to reach his cousin's ear.

"Should we leave?"

"Hm…"

"Well… I don't think we should stay and listen, ne Takashi?"

"…Hai…"

"Well…"

There was an awkward pause and a thudding sound resounded through the wall. The two looked at each other for a few moments before Mori decided to take charge. Using one large fist, he banged twice on the door. The noises stopped.

"Um…"

"One moment, please," Kyoya's voice sounded smoothly.

"Hai, Kyo-chan!"

"…wonderful," was the sardonic reply.

"HARUHI, MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGTER!" Tamaki shrieked. Haruhi looked up just in time to sidestep Tamaki's run-and-hug. The Host King slammed into a tree.

"What took you so long, Tono?"

"Yeah, you're like an hour late."

Tamaki blushed. "Well… um, I had a little bit of trouble this morning…"

"Yeah, Tama-chan, I didn't know you and Kyo-chan were dating!" Huni exclaimed loudly. There was a pause among the hosts as Haruhi's eyes widened to twice their size, the twins choked, Tamaki flushed red, and Kyoya paled and suddenly looked faint. The twins were the first to recover, each slinking an arm around one of the two young men in common.

"So… finally made a choice Tono?" they drawled. Tamaki spluttered.

"Ch-ch… choice? D-d-d… date-… dating? We're-…! I'm not-…!"

"I believe there's been a miscommunication, we're not-"

"We should have cake to celebrate, ne Takashi?"

"Uhm…"

Haruhi blinked, then seemed to come to herself. "Well, congratulations Senpai."

"I told you not to call me senpai," Tamaki snapped, then paled. "Wait, no, we're not-"

"So, what were you doing?"

"Did Huni-Senpai walk in on something this morning?"

Kyoya sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was just not his day.

A/N: Just a random oneshot. I'm typically all for TamaHaru, but... I don't really have an explanation, XD. Anyways, reviews are very welcome.