Author's Note: This story is ancient (and terrible - honestly). Consider it archived.

A loud bang woke Roy Mustang from a fitful sleep. Wide awake, he was out of bed in an instant, a torch in hand and one glove on, as well as a shirt. Slowly he pushed open his door and peered around the corner. Another clattering noise was heard to his right, and he took a guess that it was coming from the kitchen.

Roy creeped silently down the corridor and turned right again. He could see a dim light emitting from the kitchen. Whoever it was, they were horrible thieves. Roy held the flashlight in his left hand, his thumb ready on the switch, and his glove fitted on his right hand, which he held out in front of him defensively. He reached the end of the hallway and peered into kitchen through the open door – the light was coming from the fridge, as well as the noises.

Edging closer and closer to the outside of the fridge door, Roy realised that whoever it was that was rummaging so noisily through the fridge was also murmuring to themselves. Roy lowered his glove slightly and flicked the torch on, opening the fridge door fully to see Edward Elric, half asleep, looking for something to eat.

'Full Metal,' Roy asked curiously. 'What on earth are you making all this racket for?'

Ed turned to the colonel, his eyes almost completely shut. It occurred to Roy that Ed was probably sleepwalking. Roy sighed.

'Mustang,' Ed murmured almost inaudibly, but clear enough for Roy to hear it. Roy frowned – was there something wrong?

Roy took a step back as Edward took a few unbalanced steps towards him. The blonde stumbled and almost fell forward – Roy held out an arm to catch him, but he needn't have – Ed seemed to catch himself at the last second, and then throw himself forward at Roy, who's eyes widened.

Edward was kissing him. Roy was frozen; Ed's lips were ever so delicately touching his own, and he felt numb; he couldn't move a muscle, no matter how much he wanted to.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds. Ed pulled back and swayed slightly, before turning around, closing the fridge door and heading back toward his own room.

"He thought he was dreaming," Roy thought to himself, still startled. "He had to have been sleep-walking."

Eventually, he himself turned around and made his way back to his room. He locked the door behind him, took his shirt back off and then climbed back into bed. Before he knew it, however, light began to creep in through his window, and soon enough birds were chirping – he hadn't been able to get back to sleep. Not that he really needed it now, he was wide awake.

He waited a little longer before heading out to breakfast. Most people had arrived before he did; he sat down next to Riza Hawkeye and began eating in silence, until a certain long-haired blonde entered the hall, his hands behind his head and a grin on his face.

'Man, I slept like a log!' Ed exclaimed, looking at everybody's plates as he walked past them. 'And I feel like I haven't eaten in days!"

Roy scoffed, almost choking on his drink. The lieutenant placed a hand on his back, eyeing him. 'Are you okay, colonel?'

Roy composed himself and nodded. 'Yes, lieutenant, I'm fine.'

He continued to watch the Full Metal Alchemist throughout breakfast, without the young man's knowledge. He didn't seem to remember any of what happened the night before, and apparantly neither did his stomach – he seemed to eat more than the soldiers around him did, combined.

Shaking his head, he decided to let the matter go and get to work. He stood, taking his plate to the sink and nodding to the cook. He then left the hall for his office upstairs where the rest of the day went reasonably quickly. He didn't realise how tired he really was from the lack of sleep the previous night until he reached his sleeping quarters and undressed. After a long warm shower, Roy was ready to drop. He collapsed on his pillow and very soon after he was out like a light, and dreaming.

He was looking inside a giant fridge, examining all the glorious food until someone tapped his shoulder. He turned around and pushed the door all the way open to see Edward standing there, mumbling his name and clanging two milk bottles ...

Clanging. There was clanging again.

Roy rolled over and tried to ignore it and go back to sleep, but Ed was so incredibly loud that it astonished the colonel that he didn't wake anyone else up. After a few more minutes, Roy pushed the covers aside and picked up his torch, intending to wake up Sleeping Beauty and make sure this didn't happen again.

He dressed and opened the door, walking purposefully down the hallways and into the kitchen, where the fridge door was half open. He opened it right up, again, and Ed stared at Roy behind half closed eyelids, the same way he did the previous night. Roy opened his mouth to say something, but stopped as Ed took a step towards him. Roy knew that if he wanted to wake the man up, he needed to do it now – but even as he tried, he couldn't make a sound. He couldn't even take a step back as Edward staggered towards him, so close now that Roy could hear his slow breathing, as he tilted his head up slowly and pressed his lips against Roy's, the same delicate way that he'd done it the night before.

Once again, Roy was frozen on the spot, unable to even breathe. The kiss lingered a little longer than last time, however, before Ed pulled back a little and murmured, 'Mustang...'

Roy realised that he could breathe again and took in a deep breath with which intended to wake Ed. He opened his mouth and shouted, 'EDWARD!' - or at least that's what he tried to do – what really happened was that Roy's voice failed him, and he actually whispered, 'Ed...'

'Roy...' Edward whispered back to him. He then leaned forward again, kissing Roy a little more firmly this time, to which Roy replied with an involuntary groan.

"What the hell was that?!" the colonel asked himself at the sound of his own pitiful – and sensual – reply.

Roy actively tried to push Edward away from him, but just as he managed to move his arms, Edward raised his own above his head and gently placed them around Roy's neck, effectively locking the stunned man in place. Roy groaned again and closed his eyes, no longer able to fight. He wrapped his own arms around Ed's middle and brought the smaller man closer, pressing into the kiss even more.

Ed moaned lightly. Roy almost gasped at the sound – who knew that hearing Ed moan while the colonel kissed him would affect Roy as much as it did? Roy's breathing heightened, and his heart beat increased. He began gripping Ed's shirt tightly as the kiss lasted a little longer.

Suddenly, just as suddenly as it had happened the night before, Edward pulled away and let go of Roy. He stared at the colonel, just like last time, before he turned around and left. Roy, panting, took a step backward and leaned against a table. How the hell did something so simple like this affect him so? Was it that Roy didn't receive affection like that anmore, or was it exclusively Ed's attention that he craved? That kiss was incredible, and yet it was just a small kiss in comparison to some of the kisses – and other things – that he'd received in the past.

Later that day, after watching Ed eat a horse's equivelant of toast and breakfast cereal, he thought of an idea. Before leaving the table, he asked Lieutenant Hawkeye if she would see him in his office. Once they were there, Roy locked the door behind himself.

'Is there something wrong, Colonel?' Riza asked.

Mustang shook his head. "Not wrong..."

'I need to – I just want to figure something out,' he replied, starting to pace a little.

Hawkeye watched him pace, knowing that something was troubling him. 'How can I help, Colonel Mustang, sir?'

Roy stopped for a moment, contemplating his answer, before he turned to look at her.

'I need you ... I need you to kiss me, Lieutenant.'

'I – I what?' Riza blinked several times and blushed. 'Are you, serious, sir?'

Mustang nodded and stood in front of her, trying to read her eyes – or more to the point, make it easier for her to read his. He needed to know for himself whether it was Ed's doing that kept him awake the past two nights, or whether he just needed some affection.

Riza saw the confusion in his dark eyes. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then moved closer to the Colonel and touched her lips lightly to his.

Roy closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. He pressed his lips firmly against hers and placed a hand on the back of her head. He even went so far as to flick his tounge across Riza's lips and have hers greet his in return – but even so, he found that he could still move freely if he wanted to, and he definitely wasn't moaning – as nice as it was kissing Riza, Roy realised that it wasn't the same ... he wasn't kissing Edward Elric.

He slowly pulled back from the kiss, releasing Riza and taking a step back from her, before he opened his eyes. He looked his Lieutenant for a moment, then moved around his desk to look out the window behind it.

Riza slowly walked over to the desk, watching the Colonel that she'd just ... kissed.

'So, did you figure out what you wanted to figure out, Colonel?'

Roy merely nodded.

Riza thought for a second, trying to read the Colonel's expression. 'Was it the outcome you wanted?'

Roy frowned. 'Either way, I don't think I would have been happy with the outcome, really.'

He took in a deep breath, then sighed and looked away from the window. He then groaned, sat in his chair and let his head fall into his hands. 'I'm in love with the Full Metal Alchemist.'

Riza blinked. She wasn't expecting that. 'And, er...'

'I needed you, Riza,' the colonel continued, surprising the Lieutenant with the use of her first name. 'To kiss me so that I could figure out whether it was Full Metal exclusively that does this to me, or whether I just needed some sort of attention, from anyone.'

Riza nodded. 'Is there anything else you need me to do, sir?'

Colonel Mustang waved her off. 'No, Lieutenant.'

'I mean ... is there something that I could do, or anything you would like me to help you with, Roy?' Riza rephrased her question with a smile, using the colonel's first name.

Roy thought for a moment. 'Yes, actually, there is one thing.'

Riza left the office with the colonal that night, and followed him down to his room, where they both waited; Riza half asleep, Roy wide awake in anticipation, until finally, noises could be heard from the kitchen.

'What was that?' Riza stood quickly, pulling her firearm from it's holster.

'Lieutenant, I am going to brief you now on this mission,' Roy started, easing Riza's hold on her gun. 'That clattering is Full Metal – he is sleep-walking. Your job, Lieutenant, is simple – you are to observe what goes on when I approach Full Metal, and you are to report your findings and theories to me when we get back to this room. Understood?'

Riza nodded and followed Roy out of the room, putting her firearm back where it belonged. They walked to the kitchen door where Roy gave Riza the signal to stop and watch. Riza nodded and Roy stepped forward toward the light. Like usual, the colonel pulled open the fridge door so that Ed looked at him, but this time he went to take a few steps to his left so that Riza would be able to see what happened.

When Ed began stumbling towards him, he froze. He didn't know if Riza could see properly what was going on, but he didn't really care anymore, as Ed got closer to him.

'Mustang,' the blonde murmured, before he lifted his arms over Mustang's shoulders and kissed him very softly. Roy groaned again at the lightest touch of Ed's lips, and for a few moments as he kissed him back, he forgot all about Riza. He closed his eyes and pulled Edward closer to him until their bodies touched, to which both men groaned. Roy clung to Ed, not wanting to let go, but Ed pulled away from him, again, and started to turn away. Roy was about to pull Ed back to him when he remembered his Lieutenant, and stopped himself.

'That was certainly ... interesting,' Riza commented when they'd returned to Roy's room and the door was locked behind them.

'What should I do, Riza?' Roy allowed himself to ask her. 'He thinks he's dreaming – but what will guarantee he'll feel the same way when he's awake? He never seems to remember anything about it the next morning – you've seen him eating breakfast.'

Riza had a good long thought about it the next morning throughout breakfast while watching the blonde boy, and started planning during the day. That evening, as the Flame Alchemist was retiring to his room, Riza caught up with him.

'I've figured out a plan of attack, sir,' she started. 'You say he doesn't remember anything about the dream by morning, so he needs to be woken up before he can sleep it off, as in, while he's still sleep-walking.'

Roy raised an eyebrow. 'I've tried that, believe me.'

'What I suggest,' Riza continued. 'Is that you do what you would normally do, then hide, and I will wake him up before he can go back to his room and sleep. If he remembers it at breakfast, then the mission was a success and all you need to do is hit on him.'

'Hit on him?' Roy asked curiously.

'Yes, during the day some time – visit him in his room perhaps – kiss him or something. He should, as an immediate reaction, kiss you back. And then you tell him he's been sleep-walking and that you had this all planned out.'

Roy looked Riza in the eyes and mouthed the words "thank you" before speaking out loud. 'We'll put your plan into action tonight.'

Riza nodded, and they waited. Roy couldn't remember the last time he had been this nervous. It wasn't too long after dark however before Roy stood up to greet the sound of Ed rummaging through the fridge. Stealthily, Roy opened his door and made his way through to the kitchen, and pulled open the fridge door. He managed to take enough steps backward towards the kitchen door – before Ed realised he was there – that he would be able to hide before the lieutenant woke him. The blonde followed the blushing colonel until he wasn't far from the door, and then fell into the man's open arms, his lips finding the colonel's yet again.

Roy found the temptation to stay and hold onto Ed very difficult to resist. However, once Ed backed away, he hid himself behind the kitchen door until he heard -

'What do you think you're doing, Full Metal?' Riza's voice rang out.

'Wha – what?' Ed asked, now awake.

'You made a huge racket in the fridge and I don't appreciate being woken up.'

'S-sure,' Ed replied. 'Sorry.'

Riza watched Ed turn around and look at the space next to the fridge, where he, moments ago, kissed the colonel. She smiled inwardly – her plan had worked.

They went their separate ways, all three of them, and met together again a few hours later at breakfast. Ed was the last one in the room, as usual, but this time he wasn't loud; instead he walked in with his hands by his side and his head down, it almost sulking. He just walked in, sat down and picked at his toast. When his brother asked about him, he just said he wasn't hungry and had a weird dream. He also stared at Roy basically all through breakfast. The colonel was very aware of this and felt it rather difficult to fight the blush.

Roy followed the younger State Alchemist back to his room after breakfast. After Ed had closed the door behind him, Roy counted to ten, and then knocked sharply on it.

'Full Metal,' Roy called out bravely. In the few seconds that he waited for Ed to open the door, he caught a glimpse of Lieutenant Hawkeye peering around the corner of the end of the corridor, smiling at him.

Ed opened the door, looking flushed and nervous. 'What is it, Mustang?'

Roy put on his serious face and pushed his way through the door past Ed and stood in the centre of the room. 'Close and lock the door behind you, Full Metal.'

Roy watched the small blonde lock the door and turn around. He then walked over to Edward at a hasty pace, to which Ed backed up against the door.

'Er, Colonel Mustang, wh-'

Edward was cut off by Roy's lips, which were pressed lightly against his own. Roy wrapped his arms around the blonde's middle and pulled him close, and smiled inwardly when Ed instinctively wrapped his arms around his neck and returned the kiss. Roy's breathing grew shorter and so did Ed's, until Ed pulled back with force, almost hitting his head on the door behind him.

'What the hell was that?' Ed exclaimed, slightly out of breath.

'I could have asked you the same thing last night, Full Metal,' Roy replied, wanting to kiss those soft lips again but knowing he owed Ed an explaination. 'And the night before, and the two nights before that.'

'You mean – it wasn't a dream?' Ed asked weakly, blushing. 'And it happened more than once?'

Roy nodded. You woke me up three nights in a row, until last night Riza and I devised this plan to make sure you didn't do it again.'

Edward opened his mouth to say something, but Roy didn't let him speak – he cut him off by kissing him again, lightly at first, until Ed closed his eyes and returned it. Roy groaned loudly this time. Knowing that Ed was awake and fully aware of what he was doing made it that much better for Roy now that he knew he was kissing back voluntarily.

Roy's tongue flicked over Ed's lips, and when it met Ed's tongue, Roy's grip on Ed tightened. The kiss became more desperate, more passionate, more urgent; and less petite. Roy moaned softly as he pressed his body harder against Ed's, his senses in tune to every touch and every movement. Ed's arms maintained a strong grip around Roy's neck, and it got tighter as the two bodies got closer.

Roy, unable to control himself any longer, lifted Ed up onto his hips so that he was basically sitting on Roy, with his back against the door. Immediately Roy groaned at the shift of pressure onto his now incredibly hard erection. Edward let out a gasp as well as he could feel Roy underneath him, throbbing; he entangled his hands in Roy's thick, jet-black hair, forcing his tongue deeper still. Ed squirmed a little to make himself comfortable, and Roy's heartbeat increased dramatically as he could feel Ed's erection brushing side to side on his stomach.

Roy took a few steps backward, maintained his balance, then turned and walked over to the couch where he dropped Ed onto the pillows. Roy went down with him and melted into him, the smaller man's legs wrapped around his waist. He drew a sharp breath as he thrust against Edward suddenly, and Edward broke the kiss in order to cry out in pleasure. During that moment, Roy pulled back and started removing Ed's uniform. Ed did the same thing in turn and soon enough both uniforms were discarded on the floor next to the couch.

Roy, breathing heavily now, took the opportunity to examine the younger male. Ed was lying back on the couch with his arms above his head. His hair was a complete mess, and his cheeks were dyed crimson. He was panting, his mouth open as he stared at Mustang, probably doing the same thing to him that he was to Ed. Roy's eyes moved downward, past his soft, kissable lips to his slender neck and shoulders. His bare, pale chest sported two erect nipples that were heaving with Ed's breathing and seemed to cry out to the colonel, demanding attention. The Full Metal Alchemist had almost visible but still smooth stomach muscles, and a tuff of hair that started just below the naval and trailed down. Roy's eyes hungrily followed the trail of blonde hair until they feasted on Ed's erection. Roy slowly moved his right hand and grasped it, earning a helpless moan from Ed.

Roy smirked and started moving his hand up and down its length. He felt Edward's entire body rise and fall with the movement and the pleasure, and it was a huge turn on for Roy. The older man watched Ed's eyes close and his head fall back to rest on the arm of the couch, and listened as Ed moaned with every slight movement.

After a minute or two, Roy leaned forward, pressing his erection against Ed's arse cheeks as his mouth and tongue reached Ed's eagerly awaiting nipples. Ed let out a small cry as Roy's warm mouth enveloped his right nipple, his tongue flicking and his teeth nibbling gently. Roy felt Ed's muscles tense up every time Roy moved. He satisfied Ed's right nipple for a little longer, then moved to his left and did the same thing; Roy's left hand made its way to the first nipple and began squeezing and flicking it gently until Ed was like putty in Roy's hands, shivering and whimpering. Roy then began slowly kissing from the nipple down Ed's stomach, and eventually all the way down to his shaft.

All Edward's muscles relaxed when Roy stopped moving and let go of his shaft. He waited a second, catching his breath, then looked up, confused; at that moment, Roy's tongue flicked across the tip of his penis, and Ed let out another, slightly louder, cry, and threw his head back again, his eyes clenching shut.

Roy licked the blonde's tip softly, amazed at the amount of pleasure the slightest touch seemed to deliver. He wasted no time on foreplay this time, completely enveloping Ed's shaft in his mouth, all 6 or so inches of it. Ed's breathing stopped, and he let out a loud moan in response to Roy sucking softly, then sliding back off before doing the same thing again, and again and again. Roy got faster and faster until he was going as fast as he could – giving a blowjob wasn't something he did all the time, so speed and endurance wasn't his specialty in that department as of yet. He was sure, however, that he'd get plenty of practice over time. He sucked a little on Ed's tip once more, then leaned back again, watching Ed's now beet red face and heaving chest.

With a slight re-positioning, Roy was ready to pleasure himself, too. Still watching Ed, who looked down at Roy after a few seconds, he placed his hand on his own shaft and slowly masturbated himself, to the sight of which Ed whimpered. Roy used his own juices to lubricate his erection and Edward's arse, to Ed's delight, and then adjusted himself. Roy put both hands on either side of Ed's hips and moved him closer to himself, lining himself up with Ed's entrance and poking it gently with his tip. Edward groaned desperately, so Roy decided to stop teasing him and leaned over the young man, and thrust into him, making him cry out lustfully.

Roy rocked back and forth, almost overwhelming himself with his own pleasure. He grasped Ed's shaft again and pumped in rhythmn with his thrusts, which increased in speed every time. Soon enough, the two men were both moaning so loudly it was a wonder that nobody heard them out in the hallway. Roy was pounding into Ed as hard and as fast as he could, until Edward cried out the colonel's name and tensed up.

'Roy!' Ed cried. 'Oh god – Roy!'

Edward screaming his name and ejaculating all over his stomach was what sent Roy over the edge of ecstacy himself. He groaned Edward's name loudly and bit his bottom lip as it felt like he exploded inside Ed's warmth. He held his breath until the pleasure subsided, then collapsed on top of the blonde, panting heavily.

Neither one of them moved an inch for a few minutes before there was a rapping at the door.

'I'll just be a minute,' Ed shouted to the door as the two of them scrambled to their feet and picked up their clothes.

'Is Colonel Mustang with you, Full Metal?' came Riza's voice, muffled by the closed door.

Roy stopped rushing to get his uniform on, and he walked to the door with only his pants on, unlocking it and opening it a little.

Riza blinked a few times, then took in the sight before her. Roy was shirtless, sweaty, his hair was everywhere, and his pants weren't even done up – in fact, Roy was holding them there over his still visible red boxers. Riza raised an eyebrow at the Colonel's grinning face.

'I take it all went according to plan, sir?' she asked coolly, as though this was a regular occurence.

'It went exactly to plan, Lieutenant,' Roy breathed, still trying to catch his breath.