A/N: Had to pop something out quick before I lost it. I hope to write more updates for my other stories soon. For now, this will REMAIN a oneshot. I've got better bunnies in my head.

The Sitter

By: KitsuneArasi

-That's Brotherly Love For You-

"Wait a second. You're telling me you trusted my nephew to that?"

"He comes highly recommended, little brother."

"He has tattoos!"

"So do you, as last I remember."

"One. I have one tattoo. And I was drunk, okay?!"

"Would you have gotten a cherry-blossom branch tattooed on your pelvis otherwise?" His brother cast a sidelong glance at him.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, "That's beside the point. His arms are covered in them, and—," Sasuke's eyes widened as the man stretched, "Is that another one on his stomach?!"

"Sasuke."

"It is, isn't it?"

"Sasuke."

"What the hell is it supposed to be, anyway?"

"Sasuke..."

"Is that a gang symbol?!"

"….Sasuke."

"I swear, if you're handing your kid over to Crypts or the Bloods, I'm calling child services."

"Shut up, Sasuke!"

The dark-haired teen looked up at his brother, marking the removal of his reading glasses as a 'Bad Sign'.

"Sasuke, Kakashi himself recommended Naruto to me."

"…Kakashi."

"Yes."

"'I-got-lost-on-the-road-of-life-and-ran-into-a-horny-dolphin, and that's why I'm late today' Kakashi?"

"The very same."

"And you trusted him."

"Naruto is his foster-son."

"That would explain a lot."

"…Have you even spoken to him yet, little brother?"

"He called me a bastard."

"You are."

"What the—you, too?! Is this some kind of airborne virus, or what?"

"You're acting younger than Kazue."

"It's not my fault the idiot was teaching him the wrong material."

"Did you tell him that?"

"Of course I did! We can't have him teaching Kazue the wrong things-"

"Not that. The part about him being an idiot."

"…Maybe."

"And so the curtains have parted. You started it, didn't you?"

"What?! No! That blue-eyed bimbo did!"

"You noticed his eyes, hm?"

"It's not every day you see that color. Especially not wasted on someone like that."

"Mm…hm."

"That's all! I wasn't staring at him or anything. You're exaggerating."

"I made one statement, Sasuke. I didn't even mention the way those tattoos accent that tan skin…or the way that blonde hair falls into his eyes just right, or—"

"What the hell?! You're married!"

Itachi smirked, "And you're interested. Aren't you."

It wasn't a question.

"I fucking hate you sometimes."

"You'll be singing my praises later, little brother."

"Whatever for, big brother?" Sasuke sneered.

The grin that split his brother's face at that made the younger male draw back. The last time he'd seen that smile, Zetsu had doubled over in the middle of a Food Court, squeaking for his mommy.

"The two of you are going on a date tonight."

"Oh, yeah. That's going to happen."

"Oh, it is. Because I'm quite confident that you'd rather commence dating the blonde then wind up hogtied in the basement for four hours."

Sasuke flinched.

"You wouldn't."

"Shall I show you the ropes? Good, strong rock-climbing line."

"Fine. Fine!"

"Good boy," The reading glasses were smoothly replaced, "Now, I suggest you go make nice."

Sasuke found it prudent to make good his escape.

Damned if he wasn't bitching to Juugo later.