Oh em gee! I finally FINALLY updated. This is a sort early b-day present to myself; that's right, it's my birthday tomorrow! Can't wait! Unfortunately, I alrady know what most of my presents are, but hey! Who cares?

Uh, no song in this chapter, partly because I was too lazy, and partly because I had no idea which one would fit. But for the last chapter, the two winners were Lizabeff and Jessluvsharry (I think; I could be reading the wrong bit) And the song was 'Fairytale of New York' by the Pogues. I think it also had Kirsty MacColl (I'm seriously hoping I spelt that right) in.

Disclaimer; Uh, nope. Not mine. Not the characters, not the basic idea, although this particular plotline IS mine.

Ohh, and there's a little treat for you guys further down.

Tanya

Never before had my entire coven been so excited at once. Before when we had visited the Cullen household, we had anticipated it with mild excitement, but often at least of us was not entirely keen on the idea, for one reason or another. This time we were all eager to see Bella, our little niece-of-sorts. Honestly, I was also excited to see Edward; perhaps this would be the occasion that he succumbed.

My precise memory allowed me to recollect exactly what had happened that day, and were I being truthful with myself, I would admit that I was ashamed of my coven's reaction. Really, though, what sort of reaction did the Cullens expect us to have? We had lost our mother to the immortal children, and Bella was certainly adorable enough to pass for one from a distance. Understandably, we had panicked and reacted with anger; something that we had apologised profusely for on several occasions. We had always been assured that it wasn't our fault, and that our reaction was perfectly natural.

She was now five – and a half, as she insisted over the phone – and none of us had ever seen a more lovable little girl. Kate was sprinting on ahead of us, her excitement beyond control. I felt so sorry for poor Jasper, who would no doubt be charged with calming her down when we arrived.

"Kate, slow down! Wait for us!" Carmen called, grasping Eleazer's hand and tugging him forward. Kate didn't slow, but we all sped up, matching her speed. Irina was the only one of us who didn't look completely euphoric at the thought of seeing the child who had so fully captured our hearts, but she seemed happy enough, so I kept silent.

We burst through the trees at the edge of the Cullen's front garden at top speed, and truly it was a miracle that Alice could see the future, because she had already seen that we would be arriving earlier than expected and had opened the door for us. Bella's cherubic face was expectant and impatient as she stared towards the door, but the instant she saw us all, a smile lit up her features, and she threw herself at us.

"I missed you," she whispered into Carmen's hair, her short arms wrapping around my sister's knees; that was as high as she could reach.

"Oh yeah? Well, what about me?" Kate asked, mock reproachful, her face full of fake hurt. Instantly, Bella looked horrified, not realising that she was being teased.

"Auntie Kate, of course I missed you too!" Bella cried, rushing forward and throwing her arms around Kate's legs. Kate just laughed, not bothering to explain that she was joking. Bella seemed to struggle a little with the concept of sarcasm; strange really, as growing up with Edward and Rosalie ought to make her an expert on the subject. I saw Edward throw me a glare from the corner of my eye, and cringed internally. I had forgotten about the mind-reading for a moment.

"So what are we going to be doing today?" Kate asked, Bella wrapped securely in her arms, who was talking animatedly to Eleazer about her latest achievement; Edward had taught her to play 'Twinkle, twinkle, little star' on the piano, and she agreed to show us later on.

"Well, we've been planning to go to the zoo for a while," Alice mused, and I saw Bella squirm in excitement. I, however, was a little worried. My family were all very controlled around people; we had to be, particularly we single ladies. Still, I had no idea how we would fare when surrounded by animals in captivity. It would be like going to an all-you-can-eat buffet and being told that you couldn't have any of it. Bella looked so happy, though, and there was no way we could say no to that face. We decided to try it.

Carlisle and Esme had bought our tickets, which was very kind of them; we were more than capable for paying for ourselves. However, they insisted, and when Bella said that it would be rude to refuse, how could we say no?

I stayed close to Bella the whole time; which, fortunately for me, meant staying close to Edward, as he never let Bella out of his sight. He still couldn't read her mind, and so I think that he felt a strange compulsion to always make sure that she was still there; after all, he couldn't just read her thoughts and check.

Everyone threw themselves into the outing, in an attempt to impress a little five-year-old girl who was happy with anything we gave her. Ice-cream, stuffed-toys, we even let her have her face painted as a lion, and laughed when she insisted that Alice and Rose have theirs done too. Kate joined in just for the fun of it, and the four of them wandered around, laughing together whenever a man winked at the paint-covered sisters. If Bella couldn't see something, then she would be lifted onto someone's shoulders to have a look; if she couldn't understand something, then it was instantly explained by at least three different people. She was not left alone for a second; there was never a more spoilt child. Yet, I had never seen her act as though she thought herself better than any other child; on the contrary, outside of her family, she was apparently shy and reserved, having few friends.

She could not have been a better niece if she tried.

"Edward, Edward! Look, lions!" I saw Edward suppress a grin, and it took me several seconds to realise why; unbeknownst to Bella, lions, and mountain lions – really, any big cat – were his favourite meals. The lions leapt towards us, standing on their hind legs, paws pressed against the glass in an attempt to show dominance over us, the highest predator in the food chain. I could virtually smell their fear and protective instincts as they curled their lips and snarled at us; when no one was looking, we snarled back.

Edward and Bella were walking ahead of us, and I breathed an internal sigh at the sight of the two of them together. They looked so adorable together; Edward made a wonderful older brother, and probably would have made an excellent father, given the chance. He was so attentive, so caring; the number of times he had had to turn me down, yet never once had been anything but a gentlemen. Always so considerate of other people's feelings.

I followed the two of them to the petting zoo whilst everyone else was looking for their favourite 'meals' to irritate. Edward stood back while Bella tried to stop the goats trying to eat her jacket; he didn't want to get too close to the animals in case they became defensive and hurt Bella.

I wasn't really paying attention until I saw Edward's face become panicked so abruptly that I thought the goat had gored Bella with its horns. Quickly glancing over, I ascertained that Bella was still fine, before searching for the cause of Edward's horror.

The source wasn't actually that difficult to find. An employee was walking over, her face distorted by what she apparently thought was a seductive grin; she looked as though she had a terrible case of constipation. I felt fury ignite within me at the thought of the human's vile hands on Edward; I was attracted to him, yes, but more than that. I was his friend, and she was clearly going to make him uncomfortable with her advances.

As loud as I was capable of, I mentally shouted my plan at Edward, praying that he was listening. He turned to me, a relieved smile of his face, his eyes plainly revealing his gratitude. I walked up to him, reaching him only seconds before that woman, and pulled him down for a heated kiss.

Alright, I was admittedly enjoying it a little more than I should, but surely Edward would rather that he was kissed by a friend – and vampire – than a complete stranger –and a human at that! Peeking through my eyelashes, I couldn't help but smirk a little as the crestfallen employee slouched away, all traces of a smile wiped clean from her face. Edward pulled away with a relieved smile; it stung my pride slightly, but I had to remember that Edward had only been acting.

"Thank you, Tanya, from the bottom of my undead heart," he told me, his voice sincere.

"Eww!" I heard a high pitched shriek, and looked over to see Bella's face, her disgust evident in her expression and eyes.

"Auntie Tanya, why did you kiss Edward?" Her voice dropped to a whisper, and she leant in close to my ear, as though she were telling me a great secret. "Boys have cooties!"

I laughed before answering, my voice low, "Bella, sweetie, vampires can't catch cooties." She nodded slightly, thinking hard, before a devious grin lit up her little face.

"I'm gonna tell Emmett!" She crowed, running off back down the path.

Bella

The zoo was so much fun! I wanted to go there again and again.

I really felt sorry when I was watching the animals get scared of Emmett; I wanted to give them a hug and tell them that he was really nice, just like a giant teddy-bear. Edward laughed and growled at the lions, which made him sound scary, but I knew that he would never ever hurt them in a zoo.

I had my face painted like a lion, and Edward said that I looked really pretty. I had thought that maybe Alice and Rosalie felt left out, so I told them that they should have their faces painted too. They looked so beautiful all the time, but the face paint made them more colourful; they were always so pale, and they never blushed at all. Everybody laughed when I blushed, especially the people in school.

Auntie Kate had her face painted too, and I walked with them for a little while, all of us proudly showing off our newly coloured faces.

When I wanted to go to the petting zoo, Edward and Auntie Tanya were the only two who came with me, and Auntie Tanya walked behind us; everyone else went off to find their favourite animal. They all shared grins when they said that, so I thought that maybe there was some joke that I didn't get, but I didn't want to be rude and pry.

I was tugging my jacket away from a hungry goat – I kept telling him that he couldn't eat my jacket because Alice would kill him, but he didn't listen – when I saw a lady with a funny look on her face walking over. I covered my mouth with my hand so that she wouldn't see me laughing; mummy Esme and daddy Carlisle always told me that it was rude to laugh at other people. I told them that other people laughed at me, but they said that the other people weren't raised as well as I was – whatever that meant. I turned back to the goat, but when I heard a strange noise behind me, I turned around to have a look.

It was so strange, to see my brother and my almost-auntie kissing. I knew that they weren't actually related, that they were just friends, but still, it seemed wrong. When the funny-looking lady turned around and walked away, I thought she looked really sad, which made me angry at Edward and Auntie Tanya; I was always told not to other people's feelings.

What was Auntie Tanya thinking? Didn't she know that she could catch cooties? She would have to have a cootie-shot now, and those were really expensive.

I let them know how I felt, before running off to tell Emmett. He would know what to say to make me feel better.

I heard Edward shouting after me, but I didn't listen. He couldn't run too fast in public, and I had a head start. I probably would've gotten lost, but Alice had seen me coming, and my family intercepted me. Rosalie bent down and picked me up, waiting for my panting to calm down before asking me what had happened. Alice was laughing, so she knew already, but I didn't want to say it too loud, in case someone who was not in our family heard.

I pressed my face in Rosalie's shoulder and muttered, "Auntie Tanya kissed Edward, and it was gross."

Everyone was silent before Emmett burst out laughing.

"Wahoo! Edward finally got some action!"

Yay, first Bella POV. I hope it sounds OK, because she is only five years old, and I really don't remember how I thought when I was five. There are words mixed in that she wouldn't know, but I hope that the general tenor is that of a five-year-old-girl.

I added the SMALL kiss in there because I think that Tanya is made out to be a bitch in so many Fics, when in actual fact, she's not. She's a nice person who just happens to like Edward; who wouldn't, in her position? So I thought, I'll be nice to Tanya, and let her have this one little kiss.

Please leave a review? Pretty Please? As a birthday present for me? *guilt trip guilt trip* Did it work? Are you feeling guilty enough to review?