They took a cab back through town, Joey giggling when Pacey asked the
driver to stop so he could jump out and buy her a flower from a gas
station. She smelt it gently, twirling it in her fingers as Pacey nuzzled
into her neck and softly kissed her. When the taxi dropped them off, they
instantly linked hands, falling easily back into old routine. Yet neither
of them felt it was the same. There was something deeper, stronger, in the
emotional strength that tugged them together, a complete understanding of
the other that each of them realised they had never entirely possessed.
Pacey led her by the hand back to the boat. It was dark now, the last vestiges of sunlight peeping in orange streaks across the horizon. They were almost silent, communicating in smiles and soft laughter. He helped her aboard, not letting go of her hand, then pushed her slowly down onto the deck and kissed her.
'I love you,' he said, in a muffled voice, burying his face in her jacket and breathing in her scent.
'I love you too.'
He pulled a large blanket out from where it was stowed under a seat, and covered the two of them in it, wrapping Joey warmly away from the cold chill of the night and into his arms. He was happy, happier then he had possibly ever been. The joy she had given him the year before had always been tinged with sadness, a sense of the imminent demise of their relationship. It had become, he realised now, a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now, though, was different. He felt they could take on the world, although the complexity of these thoughts faded and died as Joey reached around his neck and pulled him to her, kissing him more hungrily.
'Do you want to go inside?' he asked her, kissing her in return.
'Nope,' she grinned mischievously, rolling them over so she was on top of him under the blanket. 'I want to stay right here.' She began to unbutton his jacket and then his shirt, kissing him all over his lips and face.
'Has anyone ever told you you're a brazen hussy, Potter?' he murmured luxuriously under her touch.
'Only you.'
'Hmmm…ok. Well, please feel free to be a brazen hussy with me whenever you wish. I think I like it.' He pulled her back down toward him onto the deck and moved on top of her. Gradually they undressed one another beneath the blanket, and she moaned gently as his hands traced patterns across her skin.
They made love slowly but passionately, taking time to readjust to one another and to the pleasure in the tracing of old pathways and new glories. Joey kissed the newly healed scar Pacey had on his wrist (the result of a badly aimed chopping knife); he ran his finger around the new, older contours of her face. Capeside seemed a thousand years ago. They had both changed.
Later they lay in one another's arms underneath the warm fleecy blanket, and played games with the stars, Pacey pointing out the constellations for Joey to name. It was a different sky to the one they had stared at two summers ago; she knew most of them but had still to guess at a few. It struck her that this was something that two days ago she could never have imagined happening, and yet here she was, and she was happy. It wasn't just any old happiness either, it was deep-seated and heartwarming, and above all, completely real. She suddenly realised that she had faith in it, as though she would be happy for a long while to come, and more importantly that this was a faith she had never felt.
Pacey pulled her closer to him, and took a deep breath. He had been mulling over what he wanted to say to her for a few minutes now whilst he made trite comments about the stars.
'Jo,' he said carefully. 'I really, really, love you.'
She smiled up at him. 'I love you too Pace. I know it might sound stupid, but I'm truly happy here with you.'
'I want to say something Jo, and I don't want you to stop me till I'm done.' He kissed his finger and put it to her lips. 'When we were together last year I was happy, but it was nothing like this. I was always terrified I was going to lose you, I think you know that now. I've killed myself a thousand times in my mind for saying what I did that night at the Prom, but I can't take that back now.
'But that wasn't the only reason it finished. There were things in the way, things wrong – for both of us, I mean. It was right, and then it wasn't. But I think it is again now, and I think it's more right than it's ever been.'
She shifted in his arms and looked at him, puzzled.
'Sorry,' he said, kissing her thoughtfully on the forehead. 'I'm not expressing this very well, but it's just – well there's no Dawson in the way. We both know that now, we both understand the two of you in a way we didn't before, that I didn't before. Now, I really believe in us. I really, truly believe in us. I feel like, if I had you by my side for the rest of my life, nothing could ever mess it up. You make me feel incredible, Joey Potter, and I want you to do that forever. I think I want to spend the rest of my life being happy, with you. What's wrong?' he asked, suddenly, as she sat up and stared at him, pulling the blanket round her shoulders.
'Nothing – just – Pacey? Are you proposing to me? Because that's what it sounds like…'
He smiled, and took both her hands in his, kissing her lingeringly. 'No. Well, maybe in a way I am, ' he said, drawing back again. 'I want this to continue, I think we can make it. I guess what I'm saying is just - a proposal of a proposal, if you see what I mean – I want us to form an understanding that one day we might be promising to make each other damn happy for the rest of our lives. Jo, I love you – do you think you can love me that much?'
She smiled. It felt as though everything she had ever known had suddenly been wonderfully re-established on a solid, reliable footing. Kissing him, passionately and joyfully, she pulled him on top of her. 'I do,' she whispered.
Pacey led her by the hand back to the boat. It was dark now, the last vestiges of sunlight peeping in orange streaks across the horizon. They were almost silent, communicating in smiles and soft laughter. He helped her aboard, not letting go of her hand, then pushed her slowly down onto the deck and kissed her.
'I love you,' he said, in a muffled voice, burying his face in her jacket and breathing in her scent.
'I love you too.'
He pulled a large blanket out from where it was stowed under a seat, and covered the two of them in it, wrapping Joey warmly away from the cold chill of the night and into his arms. He was happy, happier then he had possibly ever been. The joy she had given him the year before had always been tinged with sadness, a sense of the imminent demise of their relationship. It had become, he realised now, a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now, though, was different. He felt they could take on the world, although the complexity of these thoughts faded and died as Joey reached around his neck and pulled him to her, kissing him more hungrily.
'Do you want to go inside?' he asked her, kissing her in return.
'Nope,' she grinned mischievously, rolling them over so she was on top of him under the blanket. 'I want to stay right here.' She began to unbutton his jacket and then his shirt, kissing him all over his lips and face.
'Has anyone ever told you you're a brazen hussy, Potter?' he murmured luxuriously under her touch.
'Only you.'
'Hmmm…ok. Well, please feel free to be a brazen hussy with me whenever you wish. I think I like it.' He pulled her back down toward him onto the deck and moved on top of her. Gradually they undressed one another beneath the blanket, and she moaned gently as his hands traced patterns across her skin.
They made love slowly but passionately, taking time to readjust to one another and to the pleasure in the tracing of old pathways and new glories. Joey kissed the newly healed scar Pacey had on his wrist (the result of a badly aimed chopping knife); he ran his finger around the new, older contours of her face. Capeside seemed a thousand years ago. They had both changed.
Later they lay in one another's arms underneath the warm fleecy blanket, and played games with the stars, Pacey pointing out the constellations for Joey to name. It was a different sky to the one they had stared at two summers ago; she knew most of them but had still to guess at a few. It struck her that this was something that two days ago she could never have imagined happening, and yet here she was, and she was happy. It wasn't just any old happiness either, it was deep-seated and heartwarming, and above all, completely real. She suddenly realised that she had faith in it, as though she would be happy for a long while to come, and more importantly that this was a faith she had never felt.
Pacey pulled her closer to him, and took a deep breath. He had been mulling over what he wanted to say to her for a few minutes now whilst he made trite comments about the stars.
'Jo,' he said carefully. 'I really, really, love you.'
She smiled up at him. 'I love you too Pace. I know it might sound stupid, but I'm truly happy here with you.'
'I want to say something Jo, and I don't want you to stop me till I'm done.' He kissed his finger and put it to her lips. 'When we were together last year I was happy, but it was nothing like this. I was always terrified I was going to lose you, I think you know that now. I've killed myself a thousand times in my mind for saying what I did that night at the Prom, but I can't take that back now.
'But that wasn't the only reason it finished. There were things in the way, things wrong – for both of us, I mean. It was right, and then it wasn't. But I think it is again now, and I think it's more right than it's ever been.'
She shifted in his arms and looked at him, puzzled.
'Sorry,' he said, kissing her thoughtfully on the forehead. 'I'm not expressing this very well, but it's just – well there's no Dawson in the way. We both know that now, we both understand the two of you in a way we didn't before, that I didn't before. Now, I really believe in us. I really, truly believe in us. I feel like, if I had you by my side for the rest of my life, nothing could ever mess it up. You make me feel incredible, Joey Potter, and I want you to do that forever. I think I want to spend the rest of my life being happy, with you. What's wrong?' he asked, suddenly, as she sat up and stared at him, pulling the blanket round her shoulders.
'Nothing – just – Pacey? Are you proposing to me? Because that's what it sounds like…'
He smiled, and took both her hands in his, kissing her lingeringly. 'No. Well, maybe in a way I am, ' he said, drawing back again. 'I want this to continue, I think we can make it. I guess what I'm saying is just - a proposal of a proposal, if you see what I mean – I want us to form an understanding that one day we might be promising to make each other damn happy for the rest of our lives. Jo, I love you – do you think you can love me that much?'
She smiled. It felt as though everything she had ever known had suddenly been wonderfully re-established on a solid, reliable footing. Kissing him, passionately and joyfully, she pulled him on top of her. 'I do,' she whispered.