"How the hell do you do it?" Barney asked Gordon, who was admiring his newly-fitted HEV suit in Dr. Kleiner's lab.

He had been asked this question so many times, but all about different things. After he had shot down a helicopter at Black Mesa, a cowering scientist came out of cover and asked him that simple question. After he defeated a Gargantuan, a security guard asked him that same, bothersome question. After driving through antlion infested beaches, he was asked by a rebel in the base he arrived at. And now, right after he had stepped into his suit and was wearing it a split second later, the question came from Barney. His answer was always the same.

"Do what?" he asked innocently.

"That freaky magic HEV-suit-putting-on thing!"

Gordon held his breath, waiting for Dr. Kleiner to interrupt and answer with sophisticated science lingo.

"Well, you see, Barney, that suit is in a state where it will adapt to the first human skin cell it touches. And since Gordon is not made out of only one cell but trillions, it just adapts to however many cells there are in a process called autodermo-adaption. It really is amazing, especially when you consider-"

"Aw, shut up, Doc. I wanna hear Gordon's explanation."

"I pause time and dress up, then resume time so it looks like I put it on really fast."

Barney stood in place, dumbfounded. Dr. Kleiner chuckled.

"Okay, you two, spill the beans." Barney crossed his arms.

"Do we tell him?" Gordon asked.

"I don't see why not."

"Goddamn, you guys, stop being so secretive! Does the suit do what the doc said or does Gordon do what he said?"

"Both," they said in unison. Gordon smiled and left the lab.

"Would a beer change your answer?" Barney called after Gordon. Upon hearing no reply, he added, "I actually have one! It's in my secret beer stash place! Which I won't reveal to you unless you give me a straight..."

It was no use. Gordon had disappeared from sight.

--

When Gordon was positive Barney couldn't see him anymore, he opened his suit pocket. Two tiny, slimy green aliens popped out.

"Thanks, you guys. You are amazingly fast at putting this suit on," Gordon said to them.

"'Tis our specialty!" One chirped.

"Indeed! Now come, Zalf, I hear the mother ship is calling."

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