"I think Arthur should do it." Morgana broke through the argument rising between Gwen and Arthur over which girl should deflower the pure boy. Arthur had suggested Gwen because they were both peasants and Gwen had naturally taken offence at this. Even if it was true.

Arthur stopped and glared at her. "Why me?"

"Because you've got that bond with him. And Gaius did say that it would be better if you did it. Two sides of the same coin and all that."

"Morgana no, we're both guys."

"So?"

"You're weird. And you do know that people are meant to have eyebrows don't you?"

"Shut up! Magic lessons didn't go well today." Morgana blushed and covered the space where her eyebrows should have been.

"Do they ever?"

"He taught me how to turn someone into a ferret last week, I haven't tested it yet, will you be my guinea pig?"

It was very late that night, and the three of them were in Morgana's room, discussing, or rather arguing the case.

Gwen yawned and waited patiently until Morgana and Arthur had finished bickering and there was an awkward pause before speaking again. "Well someone's gotta do it."

"Why don't you do it?" Morgana asked. "You know him best, after all."

"You know as well as I do that whoever relieves him of his innocence will have to suffer him following them around like a puppy. It's only sweet and amusing for the first three days, and then it gets bloody annoying. We all know how clingy he is. Besides, if I do it, he'll ask me to marry him. Again. And this time he won't be drunk."

"That's another point. It's out of wedlock." Arthur said. "Which is exactly why it should be one of you. I vote Gwen."

"Yeah but he's actually in love with Morgana." Gwen said defensively and then realised what she'd said and clamped a hand over her mouth.

"He is?"

"Since the first time he saw you."

"Aw." Morgana cooed. Arthur looked sick.

"Who's going to rob him of his virginity, then? You, Morgana?" Gwen asked.

Gwen and Morgana stared at each other sternly. Then, together, they cried "Not it!"

"Looks like it's you old boy." Morgana turned to Arthur with a deliciously malicious smirk.

"That's not fair." Arthur pointed out.

"So?"

"Well, alright, I'll do it, but on one condition."

"Which is?"

"In the effort to remain fair I say we share the duty."

"Don't follow." Gwen said. Morgana looked puzzled and shrugged.

"It only takes one person to do the deed with someone else, and to make it less traumatising for that one, I say we all do it."

"You mean…a four way?" Morgana said hesitantly.

"He'll know something's up. He's smarter than he looks. Yeah, I know… I was surprised too."