Disclaimer.

Inuyasha: Why does he get a fic dedicated to him before me?

Naraku: I'm just that cool…unlike you -.-

Inuyasha: Are not!

Sesshy: Why would you even want to be in her fics? She tortures us all for her amusement.

Bankotsu: *scans through fic* My name isn't even mentioned.

Hiten: *snatches* Mine either! What happened to favorite character?

Bankotsu: I'm the favorite.

Naraku: *sighs* She doesn't own the show Inuyasha….or me. O.o

-

"Does not!" Hakudoshi's yell echoed through the halls of the castle. Naraku groaned and tried to get sleep. He had a long night, and today, rather than stalking Kikyou or going after Inuyasha, and easily screw with his head, he wanted sleep. A nice day to rest. He went to get out of bed but realized the yelling stopped. He smirked to himself and closed his eyes.

"Does so!" Kagura's yell came twice as loud with a giant gust of wind. He growled.

"No he does not!" Hakudoshi spat. Naraku got off the bed and rubbed his eyes, bad guys needed their sleep too. He kept his human form and used his baboon disguise to cover him. He opened the door and looked down the hall, watching them still go at it.

"Yes he does!"

"No!"

"Yes!" They continued.

"What is the need for your obnoxious yelling?" Naraku glared and they both got quiet and looked over to him, obviously oblivious he had even been there. Kanna sat against the wall on the floor beside the bickering incarnations, watching with a blank expression. "Well?"

"He….you don't…." Kagura stammered, obviously nervous from the death glare he was giving.

"What is going on, Kanna?" He asked.

"They were debating whether or not you had a heart." She whispered and he growled louder.

"You don't. You got rid of it in your last upgrade." Hakudoshi explained, though he was still looking at Kagura.

"Sure you do, that priestess is still alive." Kagura snarled. Naraku buried his face in his hands and let out a groan as they started yelling again.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Dammit! Quiet all of you!" Naraku snapped and the hallway got silent again. "I am going back to bed. Not a sound. If there is….Kagura dies." He warned and Hakudoshi smirked.

"Brat…" Kagura muttered and they both glared. She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Silence. Make like Kanna and shut up." He glared and slowly walked down the hall with the end of the fur from the baboon dragging. He quietly shut the door. Kagura stuck her tongue at Hakudoshi and he pulled out his spear.

"Punk." She whispered.

"Dead-witch." He mumbled quickly.

"Huh?" She blinked.

"Kagura!" Hakudoshi yelled and her eyes got wide. Naraku reappeared at the end of the hall and he looked anything but amused. His tentacles crept down the hall and pushed them both against the wall behind them, pinning their necks.

"Silence." He growled. Kagura frantically nodded and Hakudoshi glared, obviously not immune to his punishment. He let go and want back in his room.

"Paybacks a bitch." She smirked at Hakudoshi and rubbed her neck.

"And so are you." He retorted and stormed down another hall, hearing Kagura's quiet snicker grow fainter and fainter.

-

Naraku sighed and rolled back over. He couldn't get back to sleep. His slaves were intentionally pissing him off and all he does is choke them? Not even for a minute? It disgusted him. He could go out now and make them bleed…at least a little. That would amuse him.

But would it be worth it? Kagura ran away every fucking chance she got, he locked her away and chained her, and she didn't care, though Hakudoshi's shock was a little entertaining. They wouldn't get away with defying him, and he came to the conclusion that they would get double punishment for whatever they did wrong next….it was only so long.

He smirked to himself and closed his eyes. The events that happened an hour ago finally put to rest. …then the door opened. His eyes snapped open and his back shot up.

"What?" He saw Kanna walk in with a tray of food.

"Lunch is done…" She whispered.

"Oh…I'm not…." He stopped when his stomach growled. He sighed and looked down. He sat upright and took the tray she held out. "Who made it?"

"Kagura..."

"Oh…ew….I don't plan on dying today…literally, tell her nice try though." He handed her back the trey and she nodded. "You make me something and quick." He ordered and she walked out.

"Aw he didn't eat it?" Kagura pouted.

"Told you he wasn't stupid as the monkey he dresses up as." Hakudoshi rolled his eyes and ate at the table.

"What the fuck does he think when he wears that?" Kagura sighed and played with the food on her plate with her chopsticks.

"What are you thinking when you wear that kimono. Or even your dumb weapon. 'Ooh I control the big bad wind! Watch out or I'll freeze you with the power of wind chill.'" He waggled his fingers and mocked her. Kanna cooked silently in the background.

"Look who's talkin' shorty. You blend in fine you albino freak." She remarked and he completely ignored her comment.

"You know…maybe Naraku does have a heart." He ate again and she stared at him with a bored expression, un-amused her comment didn't affect him.

"Uh huh….just like I said."

"No I mean…he has a strange liking for animals."

"Huh? Since when is Kikyou an animal?" She blinked.

"No, stupid, he plays dress-up as a stupid chimp and that spider mark…" He cringed at the marking on his back.

"Correction, it's a baboon." She pointed out.

"No it's not. Baboons have big butts. His costume doesn't." He argued.

"But chimps are orange." Kagura sighed.

"No orangutans are orange….chimps….aren't….white either…." His voice trailed off as he went into deep thought. Kanna walked by with a new plate of food and went to Naraku's room.

"What are those two bickering about?" He asked as she handed him the plate.

"What kind of monkey you play dress-up as." She said bluntly and he sighed.

"Isn't that nice?" He began slowly eating; twice as pissed they had the nerve to mock him.

"He didn't skin the baboon's ass! That's his costume!" Kagura yelled and he held his head.

"Kanna, I'm really not feeling well today, shut them up for me. Tell them if they don't shut up I will personally skin them." He told her and she nodded and left.

"He's an albino chimp!" Hakudoshi shouted. He heard a few mumbles through the wall, probably Kanna, and it got silent. He would've loved to see their reactions himself but he truthfully didn't feel like it. His head was throbbing and if he had eaten anything today, he was bound to have puked it up by now.

He slowly ate with a smug expression. Then put his trey down. Now he felt sick. He ignored it and laid back down. He heard voiced through the wall and clenched the sheet on his bed.

"We should definitely get him a new costume." Kagura whispered as she and Hakudoshi walked by his room.

"Yeah that ones starting to smell." He heard them both snicker. He sat straight up and stopped when he got dizzy. How could he be sick? The mastermind that killed Kikyou, got Kohaku to kill his famiy, pierced a man's hand with a black whole, and mercilessly tortured anyone who was easy to fuck with, sick?

He laid back down and shivered, pulling his blanket over him. His pants didn't keep him warm enough. He looked at the fur he used to cover up and pulled it over him.

"This doesn't…" He stopped when he actually sniffed it. "Ew, that is gross." He pushed it on the floor and sighed. Naptime. He happily closed his tired eyes.

"Come out Naraku!"

"Fuuuuuck." He whined, yes, Naraku actually whined. Why did this stupid fuckwit of a halfbreed actually find him when he wasn't in the mood? He was always incapable before.

"Naraku you've got company." Kagura poked her head in.

"Can I go?" Hakudoshi smirked and pushed her aside. Naraku opened his mouth to answer but stopped when Kagura roughly pushed Hakudoshi on his ass to peek back in the doorway. His brows knotted together as they went back and forth at it.

"Stop that before he destroys this castle! I just got the walls done and I'll be damned if…." His voice trailed off when he realized what just came out of his mouth. His incarnations were staring at him blankly and he shook his head. "What I mean is…..oh fuck it. Go hold them off. Both of you, if either of you has to be the sacrifice, make sure its Kagura." He shook his head.

"You got it." Hakudoshi grinned and went to bolt outside until Kagura tripped him.

"Oops." She feigned innocence. Before Hakudoshi could retaliate, Naraku snarled.

"Now!"

"Oh right, you need time to get ready for your mid-battle, badass appearance, gotcha." Kagura winked.

"Are you mocking…?"

"Bye!" Before she could get the lecture she ran out.

"Get back here!" Hakudoshi ran after her. He sighed and got out of bed. Kanna stood in the doorway.

"Yess?" He drawled out as he changed and formed his tentacles.

"The wolf travels near too…" She mumbled and held out her mirror.

"Why the fuck is everyone growing brains today? They were useless for like….four years! Four! Now, today, they decide they can figure out my hiding spot which, may I add, was never that hard to find in the first place if that stupid Kikyou-wanna-be knew how to use her senses or that pathetic half-dog could use his nose!" He panted for air as he finished the quick, lengthy complaint and Kanna just nodded in response. He felt his eyebrow twitch.

"…."

"….." He stared back at her and shook his hand to dismiss her. She left the room and he sighed. He walked out of the castle in time to here Kagura's loud yells, Hakudoshi's sarcastic remarks, and the dork squad yelling back. He didn't even bother flying.

"Naraku!" Inuyasha growled.

"So we meet again, Inuyasha." He said in a surprisingly bored tone.

"Why aren't you uh….up there…." He pointed to the sky, confused for Naraku's non-sadistic demeanor.

"Why aren't you?" He asked.

"I can't fly…"

"Oh yeah…forgot you were weaker." He yawned.

"Why you…!" Inuyasha unsheathed Tessaiga.

"Not this…." He groaned. "Alright, fine…." He flew in the sky, set his barrier around himself, and waited. Kagura, Hakudoshi, and the rest of Inuyasha's friends watched in shock. "C'mon…do that wind crash or whatever you call it." Naraku sighed.

"Uh…it's wind scar…." Inuyasha muttered. He did the attack anyways and Kagome added her arrow.

"Three….two….one….." Naraku counted and the attack shot back at them. Inuyasha got slightly hit and Kirara managed to pull Kagome aside.

"He's not even trying…" Hakudoshi muttered.

"Weird…." Kagura added. Miasma filled the air and he grabbed Kagura and Hakudoshi with his tentacles. He saw Kanna and grabbed her, then disappeared.

"What. The. Fuck." Inuyasha stared.

"Watch out mutt….!" Kouga stopped. "Where'd he…" He looked around and they all shrugged.

-

Naraku sighed and reappeared in a cave.

"Sorry we couldn't take your redone walls…" Kagura snickered and Hakudoshi joined in. He growled and threw his monkey fur at them.

"Wash it. Make it smell new."

"So…like it was just removed from the monkey? So you wanna smell like monkey ass?" Kagura blinked and held up the fur.

"No! You will both wash it! You will come back and make no noise! And if I hear you come in being loud, I'll start by ripping your throats out! Then, I'll skin you by the neck and…" His voice trailed off when he saw the nervous stares he was getting. "Just…wash the fur…." He sighed and sat down, leaning his back against the wall. They nodded and walked out of the cave backwards to face him. Kanna quietly sat beside him on her knees. He smirked and closed his eyes.

"Naraku?"

"Hm?"

"Do you have a heart?" She whispered without facing him. He opened his eyes and slowly turned his head to face her. She, being too scared to face him, continued staring at the cave wall.

"Kanna, I truly believed I destroyed my heart that held any sign of compassion. Then I realized….I put up with those two morons all day, didn't even try to kill the dork squad, and care about the appearance of my castle. So don't tell them….but I think I do…." He sighed and leaned the back of his head against the wall again to close his eyes.

"I won't…." She leaned on him and he tensed and sighed.

There was always one incarnation he could depend on to give him peace.

-

Naraku: I do not have a heart!

Sesshomaru: …lol. Be careful not to ruin those walls.

Narku: -.-

Kagura: Aw, I always thought Hakudoshi was the favorite. You're gunna be the last one he kills Kanna! 8D

Kanna: …

Bankotsu: I don't believe this!

Hiten: Not even one line!

Kouga: Don't you guys usually whine when you're put in her fics?

*both blink*

Kikyou: Review or all the threats Naraku gave to Kagura and Hakudoshi apply to you ]

o.o