8. STUBBORN

The flight back to Houston seemed to drag on forever. Edward said very little, and though he held me the entire time, I could feel his distance. His muscles were strained, standing out on his pale arms. Every time my nudger gave a little thump, I gasped, and a low and menacing growl erupted from his throat.

A quick glance around the cabin informed me that most of the passengers were asleep, so no attention was drawn to Edward's visibly hostile behavior. I was overwhelmingly grateful, as I often was, that he couldn't read my mind. If he knew of the plans I'd made with Rosalie…I didn't even want to think about what his reaction would be. I shuddered slightly, and his arms tightened around me in response.

"It's alright, Bella," he whispered into my ear, his tone severe. "This will all be over soon, I promise. And everything will return to the way it should be."

I didn't respond. I knew he was just thinking of me, of my safety, and that worried me a little. Did he really think that our baby was dangerous? That it could harm me?

My nudger thumped lightly, as if to answer my questions, and I sighed.

I know there's nothing dangerous about you, I thought, gently running my hand across my stomach. Don't worry; I won't let him take you away from me.

Edward tensed around me, and my heart rattled audibly. I had to remind myself that it wasn't my thoughts that had caused his reaction.

"What is it?" I whispered, glancing up at him.

He wasn't looking at me; his face was turned to the right, his eyes locked on something across the cabin. I followed his gaze; just quick enough to see a young man, about in his early thirties, swiftly look away from me. I frowned, and glanced back at Edward.

"Why was he staring at me?" I asked. "Tell me what he was thinking."

It took him a minute to control himself enough to answer. I waited anxiously, biting on my bottom lip, until his lips finally pulled back slightly.

"He was watching you, watching us," Edward responded through gritted teeth. "He noticed you were…pregnant" – he said the word with harsh bitterness – "seeing the way that you stroked your stomach. He thinks you're so young, thinks I knocked you up or forced you or something ridiculous like that." His nostrils flared and his teeth ground together with an audible snap.

"Oh." Of course Edward would react to that. I would too – I never took judgment well. And I knew he took it with even less grace than I did, especially when it was directed toward me.

I placed my hand on top of his and stroked it reassuringly. "It's alright," I whispered, my eyes still on his face. "We know that's not what happened at all. Isn't that what matters the most?"

"It should be," he growled.

I sighed. "Edward, don't worry about what other people think. It's none of their business."

How odd that I was the one reassuring him now. Little over a month ago, he had been the one telling me not to worry about the judgment our marriage would receive. Ha ha. I could almost laugh at how monumental that fear had seemed. And then as soon as I'd reached him at the end of the aisle, every insignificant speck of that worry had disappeared.

This time I really had reason to worry. It was strange that I was so at ease. At least, for now. It was one thing to get married so young (at eighteen for crying out loud!), but to have a baby at that same age…? I should be having an emotional breakdown right about now.

I'd never be able to look Charlie in the face again. And Renée! It would absolutely destroy her to learn that her enormously mature daughter that she'd put her entire life into was making the exact same mistake that she made eighteen years ago. Of course, she would never admit that it was a mistake. She claimed I was the best thing that ever happened to her, and she wouldn't be the person she was today if I didn't exist. I'm sure she'd be a whole lot better off.

No one could ever know about this. I would have this baby; I had no intention of letting Edward take my nudger away. But during the months while I waited for his arrival, I would have to remain locked up in the Cullen's house. No visits, no phone calls, let the world think I had died from some strange South American disease.

And once our child was born, Edward would change me. And then I would have an even greater reason to remain distanced from the normal, human world. I'd already spent weeks preparing myself for the separation, but it still wasn't going to be easy. Knowing that I was less than twenty minutes away from my father, but unable to see him ever again. I'd thought about this fact for a long time before, and it still hit me with the same insurmountable force. And my poor, poor mother. Losing me would be like losing her entire life; all her memories, all her hopes and dreams. It ripped me up to know how much pain I would be forced to inflict on her. And Jacob…oh Jake. My breath caught in the back of my throat.

I tried to shake the depressing thoughts from my head as my eyes began to fill with tears. The last thing I needed was for Edward to see me crying. I didn't need anyone else to feel my misery; that was strictly my burden.

I tried to focus on the positive. I was married to Edward. Actually, legally bound to him for eternity. He was mine. I loved him with an inexplicably powerful and illogical fervor, and for some completely nonsensical reason, he loved me back in that same way. We were going to have a baby together. That in itself was an absolute miracle. I was going to be a mother, and he would be a father. How could things get any better than that?

I was pulled from my daze as Edward leaned his head onto my shoulder, pressing his lips against the bare skin there. It was remarkably hot on the plane - as hot as it was on Isle Esme, even with Edward's cool arms wrapped around me – and I was dressed in a deep red spaghetti-strapped dress made of light cotton that allowed me to breathe and move easily.

"What are you thinking?" he asked. His voice was still not quite his own, but it was looser than before. My tensed body relaxed a bit in his firm hold.

"Oh, nothing new," I said, lifting my hand behind my head so I could run it through his tousled bronze hair. "Just the usual."

"The usual being…?"

I shrugged. "Life in general. Our crazy life." I laughed quietly, careful not to wake our fellow passengers.

He sighed. "Yes, we do have quite an extraordinary existence, don't we?"

"Yes." I smiled. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."

His face softened at my words, and he brought his head up to kiss me softly on my lips. As always, my heart spluttered and a dark blush spread across my face. He pulled away a moment later, and smiled at my breathless expression. My nudger kicked inside me, as if the sudden rush of adrenaline had woken him from a semi-peaceful rest.

Edward's smile disappeared as I placed my hand on my stomach and rubbed it gently. I looked away from his furious and agonized stare, and instead focused on the golden band that now rested on my left hand. Instead of the overwhelmingly beautiful diamond engagement ring that used to reside on my third finger, a simpler, but still beautiful ring took its place. Elizabeth Masen's ring was now on my right hand, where it would stay for eternity.

My wedding ring was a thin gold band, sprinkled with diamonds that glittered brightly in even the dimmest light. Carved into the inside of the band were the words forever, my love in Italian. Edward's ring had an identical inscription.

I twisted the ring around on my finger, watching the diamonds sparkle. I could feel Edward's eyes on me, but I didn't look up at him. I was still afraid of what I might see in his gaze.

I heard him sigh. "Bella, you should really try to get some sleep. It's getting late."

"I don't need sleep," I mumbled.

"Yes you do."

"I'm not tired."

I felt his head return to my shoulder. "Very well then." His cool breath on my skin sent a slight shiver down my spine.

I stared out the window on my left, watching the quickly darkening clouds roll by at impossible speeds. Blackness would soon replace the vibrant purple-red the sky was currently dyed. Edward's arms tightened around me, and I felt him bury his face further into my shoulder and neck. I sighed and laced my hand around his, waiting for the hours to disappear and the plane to touch the earth, bringing us one step closer to home.

The moment we were in the air, departing from Houston International, Edward insisted again on my getting some sleep. In the airport, I'd been stumbling about a bit, but that was perfectly normal for me, especially after having sat for fourteen hours straight. But at least the lack of movement had allowed me to avoid getting sick, at least until we'd landed. I'd had to dart to the nearest restroom without even the chance to worry about tripping and falling, which I only did once. When I'd staggered out a few minutes later, Edward was pacing outside the door like a madman, his fingers knotted in his hair, a list of profanities streaming from his mouth. He looked like he'd be crying if he could. I didn't know whether to slap him or hug him. Of course, hitting him wouldn't really do anything but hurt me, and give him something else to curse about. He worried far too much for his own good.

I buried my head against his chest now, one of my hands latched onto his shirt. I was curled up in his lap, reconsidering his plea for me to rest. I yawned and then groaned, the sound muffled against his chest. I felt his gentle hand stoke the back of my head, his fingers running through my thick hair from where it started to where it ended around my waist.

"Sleep now, Bella," he said in his soft, velvet voice. "I'll wake you when we're home."

"Home," I murmured serenely.

He smiled. "Yes, sweetheart, we're going home. Where you can rest and where everything can be set back to normal."

I frowned, my eyes now closed. "Normal?"

He sighed, and my frown deepened. I knew what he was thinking and I opened my mouth to protest, but he put his hand over it, cutting me off. I opened my eyes and fixed a glare up at him, trying to silently communicate my disapproval for his stubbornness on the topic of our child. However, he simply gazed at me for a moment, and his expression lightened considerably. He laughed quietly, and I couldn't possibly imagine what could be funny.

"What?" I hissed through my teeth.

He brushed his cool fingers across my cheek and said, "Do you have any idea how adorable you look when you're cross?"

I pouted in response, and narrowed my tired eyes. The effect probably wasn't that of which it would be when I was fully awake. Nonetheless, Edward's smile spread across his face and he leaned down to kiss me. I kissed him back automatically, instantly forgetting that I was annoyed with him. He had so much power over me, it was pathetic.

As always, I got a little too into the kiss, and he was forced to push me away. I didn't understand how there could still be boundaries after Isle Esme, but apparently Edward did and I didn't possess the motivation to argue the point. At least not now. My sigh turned into another yawn as a fresh wave of exhaustion hit me. Finding out you were going to have a baby was stressful work.

"Bella, really. Sleep," Edward pleaded. "I promise it will do you good."

"Hmmm….okay. But will you promise me something first?"

"Anything."

I smiled slightly. "Will you promise to keep an open mind?" I reached down and gently patted my stomach, but then returned my grasp to his shirt.

I didn't want to spark a violent argument, but at the same time, I needed some small sense of relief before I could fall to my dreams. And the only way I could get that was if he said yes.

He didn't say anything for a long time. I glanced up at his face after a minute; worried.

"Edward?"

He sighed. "I'm sorry, Bella, but I'm not sure if I can do that."

"Why not? You promised."

"I know I did." He frowned. "But I didn't mean to. Your request…that's just not something that I can decide on my own."

"He's your son," I murmured, beginning to doze off. "You should be able to make your own decision without Carlisle's advice."

There was silence again; this time even longer. I waited for him to answer, but he didn't, and I only continued to drift further and further away.

The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was Edward murmur a statement so low that I could barely understand it. But I did, and his words cut me like knives as I fell into a restless slumber. The relief I'd been hoping for wasn't there.

"That thing is not my son. It's a monster."

(A/N:) It's always bugged me that we never knew for sure what was going on in Bella's head during that whole chunk of Breaking Dawn. So, with a bit of her help, and all my free time (which happens to be A LOT of time), I decided to write it myself. So, in case you're wondering why it starts with chapter 8, that's because it's a continuation of the book from her point of view ^-^ I hope you like it!