Ode to Internet Pop-up Ads/sidebars/etc…

This person [insert random teen pop culture heartthrob here] has an IQ of 122. Can you beat his/her score?

It's hysterical how every celebrity has the exact same IQ, isn't it? Maybe it's a Hollywood thing or something. One day, I'll pack up and leave my stupid east-coast suburb for good, but I'll avoid Hollywood. After all; I want a unique, different IQ.

Make him fall for you! Click here to get the love of your life!

In order to make a guy fall for me, I must stick my foot out as he walks by so he trips. Clicking on the link is stupid because:

I know how to make a guy fall for me. See answer above.

I don't want my computer to become infected with a virus that will transmit all my personal data to some middle-aged man living in somewhere in Canada or something. (No offense Canadians.)

Click here to flirt with hot teen boys!

The guy in the ad isn't even that hot!

George W. Bush's IQ is 122. Can you beat it?

Do your research next time, big-shots.

Barack Obama's IQ is 122. Can you beat it?

Gee, I had no idea that Barack Obama, George W. Bush, Vanessa Hudgens, AND Robert Pattinson had the exact same IQ!

"I lost 15 pounds on the _____ diet/weight loss program endorsed by _____! You should try it too!"

Hey, are you trying to tell me something?

Fly high with [insert little-known airline company here].

…because when I log into fanfiction, I really want to book a vacation to Cincinnati at the exact same time.

…The ONLY browser to rule myspace.

Eh, I don't like pervy people stalking me, so I don't give a crap about myspace or facebook, etc.

I lost 20 years of wrinkles with this 1 rule!

If I lost 20 years of life from my skin, I'D BE NEGATIVE FIVE YEARS OLD. I DON'T CARE!

Live the lifestyle you've always dreamed of. [Insert random provocative love scene between two full-bodied avatars.]

Yes, I have always dreamed of living life la vida techno. [I'd rather viva la vie boheme, if you ask me.]

Zwinky! Click to create!

I'd want to, why?

Emoticons… with SOUND! [Insert smiley going 'Oh my God! No way!!"]

Until they come up with one to a Lily Allen song so I can send it to people I don't like, I will not download them.

Want a new cursor?

I'm content with my old-school one, thank-you-very-much.

[I don't know what this ad advertises, but it involves a video-game like woman with a very low cut dress.]

Four words, sweetie. INVEST IN A BLAZER.

Tickets to see the 'Wizard of Oz' show.

I saw Wicked, and now I can't watch Wizard of Oz without wanting to hug the Wicked Witch of the West and hold the scarecrow hostage (so I can turn him back into a hot guy). Honestly, Dorothy looks like she's 30. Well, I'm not off to see the wizard!

High School Musical 4; now casting online.

Head, meet desk. Desk, meet all my sanity that's rushing out.

I HATE ADVERTISMENTS.

A/n: Yes, I know sites make their money through these lovely bundles of monstrous junk, but they annoy the snot outta me. This is my joke/inner monologue thing. I know it's not the best thing I've ever written, but I'm writing to be funny. If no one laughs, I'll be sad. Reviews are cool! (: